₦airaland Forum

Risingphoenix12:
Now back to this... Let's be surgical about this...

If I'm a damaged person, shouldn't the logical thing to do be to extract her from the situation? Why force someone to be in a union with a damaged person?

In paying for it, don't forget we are both paying for it in our individual ways. I struggle to see how this is damaging her for life. I really don't think so. Unfortunate incident... yes it is... but damage for life? Habaa...That's taking it a bit too far.

And you know she sincerely doesn't want a divorce ... how? Lol.

Let me tell you, a person with health issues automatically is dealing with esteem, happiness, fears of the unknown, stigma etc. Then comes along someone who shows empathy, that person rekindles hope and increases the self worth of that individual. With the reassurance of 'I know how you feel', 'I will be there for you', the challenged person feels reassured. Imagine telling that person after a while that, I underestimated your illness and cant cope with the challenges involved.

Look, my man, I'm putting myself in your wife's shoes. I'm a man but I can empathize. You promised unconditional love which you couldn't deliver. People who have health challenges don't want to be seen as a liability or a bother to others, hence she will readily agree to your request for divorce, even champion it. In her innermost heart she doesn't want it, she wants a partner, someone to love her unconditionally.
Look, we all make mistakes but sometimes we learn to live with those mistakes for life. Life is short anyway, the pursuit of happiness is a mirage, it doesn't exist.

If I were in your shoes, I'll take this as my cross, learn to live with it. Sex is important but who is to say one can't become impotent tomorrow. Flaws will always exist but try to hold on to whatever it was that attracted you in the first place and let it keep you going. I'm not much of a speech writer but I sympathize with your woman and I know leaving her will scar her for life.
By the way I wasn't calling you a damaged person per say. Actually, it was a post I read here that triggered that comment.

Risingphoenix12:
Lol. Too bad you feel that way.
I know she will recover from this.. And so will i.
Life goes on.

Btw... why does everyone keep asking me what the point of thread is? When I've stated it like one trillion times already..

We ask because you seemed sober at the beginning, now it's all fun and laughter....

Risingphoenix12:
Lol. In reality, I think one of the causes may be ideals set by society/culture/religion/family/self etc. which indirectly make people want to conform. Especially when the ideals are unrealistic.

Alternatively, I think this is what makes life interesting. The variety of our experiences, and the liberality of our minds to accept the differences in others - as long as there's no threat/harm done to anyone.

Lastly, does saying people are damaged, and in the same breath saying no one is perfect imply everyone is damaged? Loooool... abeg make I dey go work.. o saro Thursday...

No perfect person anywhere, that's an obvious fact. But having damaged people going about causing misery to others is a problem.
You 'over-estimated ' your abilities. So your partner should pay for it. I believe i know your wife's medical condition, you should have allowed someone who really loves her to marry her. You come here to open a diary and 'gloat' after damaging that woman for life. I doubt if she'll ever recover from this. What's the aim of this thread? Restitution? Assurance? Better put that divorce on hold and work on your marriage. Trust me that woman sincerely doesn't want a divorce, she's probably saying it because she doesn't want to feel she's hindering your happiness.

A lot of people are damaged. Could it be faulty childhood? Growing up in dysfunctional homes? Sometimes i wonder. No one is perfect but some stories makes one wonder, why do people bother getting married when they lack self love? Without loving yourself you can't love others.

delishpot:
Your mother taught me well na. You should be proud of her.

My mum doesn't know ho'es. I'm thinking all accolades should rightly go to your mum. A pig doesn't birth a dog you know.

delishpot:
If the child had known him as father, if he has given the child his name, if he has signed to be the child's father, he may be forced to pay child support. Law takes the child into consideration in some cases.



Sexual frustration or cheating can happen to males and females. Just like men also cheat esp if the wife's job takes her outside 5he home for extended periods of time and people would say sex is important in marriage, so does a wife also need her husband to have sex with her too. So yes, the temptation may come. You don't blame a cheating man when his wife is a workaholic and is always not around why then do you think the woman should be abandoned in a cold bed and the man feigning he doesn't know she misses sex too?

See dem. Olosho showing solidarity for her kind.

From my experience they all look decent at first, just when you start getting a little comfortable comes the disappointment. They start making demands, even the working class.
I agree with the Op, chat with any modern Nigerian girl, they no longer want to tolerate the challenges of marriage. Any little thing you'll hear them say "divorce" like it's now a badge of honour. We enjoy copying all the negatives of the whites whilst leaving out the positives. Nigerians are a peculiar set of people i swear. Very soon, just like the man in that article, we will switch to our other African sisters and leave them alone.

madone:
foool I can see you don't know how to read...where did read rich in my post. Guy u re frustrated becos no one care about you...no one want to help you...go and hide ....wretched fool

Get busy, get an education and get a job. Never too late to make something out of life. Online scam is shameful.

madone:
hahahaaaaa lol you are a fool,a local bully and an idiot.NL members who have met me real life know that am very comfortable. Am here for idiots like you who don't have common sense. Check my moniker does it lol like someone intending to beg money from you...goat,unintelligent fowl like you. Check that girls profile and see ,she has been registered here since 2013 she has just one topic wich is this topic 13post only wich are just the post she has here...moreover she did not ask you for money just simple advice and ur bully head and uncircumcised mind is not even rich enuf to offer that mtcheeeeew.. You cant even read what she posted.....you be goat guy.how much you get to chop and to even talk of giving person. Pauper like you. Just stay and read the post if you don't have what to contribute. Am here for your likes ....leave the girl alone and face me eeeeeeediot

Rich, comfortable, money. All these used by one person in a statement, that shows you are wretched and your life revolves around money. You have the IQ of a toad and it's belittling arguing with you. Get an education!

madone:
guy read and understand her story,stop picking silly points ...if u wanna help do if u don't want paceoff.bullmess

Shut up. You're probably the same Op using a different moniker. All ye corporate beggars should go and get a job. Pregnant girl indeed, olodo.

This is one of the rare occasions where I'll take the side of a woman because most women are drama queens. I'm not mad that your husband got distracted but I'm mad that he said it openly to a woman he married legally that he owes her no faithfulness.
If you guys had discussed polygamy before marriage then i can pardon him. Yes, some men cheat but most feel remorseful or pretend to be when caught. Whatever a man does, he should never purposely disrespect his wife. That's my principle.

PS. For those already beginning to talk of the woman leaving, do you think this is a joke? This isn't a boyfriend and girlfriend issue. This section should be restricted to married people only.

Pidgin2:
Someone ran mad because of this

You're about sitting on a keg of gunpowder. Enough said!

If you believe this, you'll believe anything. Same guy asking if direct entry admission was out last year. Anyway, if u need help we will dash you bags of used baby clothes. Nothing like one naira for you. Bullshiit.

Nigeria should start preparing from now. Find alternative to oil and improve our electricity.

The Government has confirmed plans to ban the sale of new diesel and petrol cars in the UK from 2040.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove says the move is part of a plan to get these vehicles off roads altogether by 2050 - with cleaner electric or hybrid cars taking their place.

From 2020, new pollution taxes will also be levied on diesel drivers who use congested highways - specifically targeting busy roads in major towns and cities, as well as motorways such as the M4 and M32.

The Government is going to make £200m available to local authorities so they can restrict diesel car use on polluted roads, with councils told they may be able to implement outright bans in town centres.

Mr Gove told the BBC that diesel scrappage schemes are not the Government's preferred option, but councils may be allowed to use such an initiative if it is sufficient value for money.

The Government has identified 81 major roads in 17 towns and cities where it says urgent action is required because they are in breach of EU emissions standards, putting people's health at risk.

The new strategy urges local authorities to attempt to reduce emissions at first by fitting the most polluting diesel vehicles with filters, changing road layouts and removing speed humps.

Tough levies on the most polluting diesel vehicles could be imposed as soon as 2020 as a last resort to help bring down the levels of harmful nitrogen dioxide emissions.

Source : Sky news

This is just the beginning. Many of dem slay queens will have a broken home, people marry for the wrong reasons. I'm sure your husband was giving you a good time when courting. I feel no pity for all these useless girls these days.
My advice for madam op, carry your load and go since you can fend for yourself and kid. Marriage is a partnership, when your partner is weak you step up. Afterall, men and women are now equal. Anyone can provide! I'm beginning to agree that marriage has outlived it's usefulness. What's marriage without trying to help our partners overcome their weaknesses? Instead we scheme and look for ways to punish them. By marrying anybody at all, you are automatically responsible for half of the persons faults, afterall you weren't forced and had the opportunity to do your research. Please, kindly divorce this man and go your way. Best wishes ahead.

GAZZUZZ:
Watch this movie.

https://www.nairaland.com/3935817/when-gazzuzz-takes-over-rx350#58782940

Where are you located?

Festac, Lagos. I've jst watched your movie, awesome. Abeg how do i reach you? Where is your shop located? I need to call u.

Oga gazzuz, please I need advice o. My 2007 Camry aircon stopped cooling. We added Freon and it cooled for a week and has stopped again. The ac guy said no visible leak outside so it must be the evaporator. I'm apprehensive having the evaporator replaced as the whole dash must come off. I replaced my evaporator in my other car and when they finished coupling it, the airbag light came on, apparently they damaged the airbag.
I'm now scared of having my dash taking apart. Please where can I get someone that knows his onions and can guarantee me a good job. I don't know if you specialize in Ac too. Car is in Lagos, Festac precisely. Thanks.

Nerdg:
I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

Then marry her. Would you prefer to hear this news after marriage? Things happen, move on.

You don't love her. You are just longing for what you are yet to taste. Marriage is not a game. If you can have a sexual relationship with her before marriage and you still feel like marrying her, then go for it!

Childish and insecure couple.

You only make such mistakes if the car ain't yours or you are drunk. If the car is yours, you can mistakenly enter a similar car but immediately you sit in, you'll know you've made a mistake. Only a novice wouldn't notice and would still attempt to start the car.

We had working class parents who were comfortable yet they still had time to raise us well. One major problem now is over exposure to modernity. Free access to porn, immoral sites, watching lewd movies and music videos etc. These things corrupt the mind. Instagram now has lot's of irresponsible guys and girls who flaunt ill gotten wealth and crazy lifestyles. All these combine to make youths deviate from the straight path. Unfortunately, new parents now are basically damaged already hence you wouldn't expect them to know how to train their own kids any better.
The sad part is that it would get worse in generations to come.

Hehehe. I know one girl who always prefers to date guys living abroad, kind of a status thing. 10 years later she has chased all the 'home based' suitors whilst still waiting for the abroad bobo. Enough said.

You had better be 'tear rubber' for all these kind questions you're asking to matter. Nor be say dem don chop u tire before then you come and start asking these kind questions.
For the record, after wedding sex is mostly a disappointment, mostly never lives up to the hype.

Very scary experience. Many of the people commenting are little kids who spend time watching action hero movies. Life is not a game, that Mopol was very brave, he could easily have hidden without anyone knowing he was there. He did the right thing by running out of that room, if not they would have pumped bullets through the walls and windows.
The only optional move would have been to wait till the robbers are entering their cars to gun them down. Though I can understand his instincts taking over immediately he heard that gun shot. That is what training does to you, you instinctively react to a threat. I'm so glad he fell that silly overconfident robber. Hopefully he survived. All hail naija police.

FlyboyZee:
I wasn't particular about the manufacturer of the oil. I only advised he used the recommended oil, even Mobil 1 has 0w20, 0w40, 5w20 and so on. I have personally been using 5w20 oils for over 6 years without ever using Mobil 1. So, you see its about the required oil and not the manufacturer...

Thanks. What brand do you use for 5w20?

Is it about the oil brand or the oil type? I think as long as it is the recommended oil weight like 0w20, 5w30 etc, any good oil will suffice. My opinion though. I will love any car expert to confirm or dispute my opinion. I need to learn.

As long as u use am OEM oil filter, u can use d vehicle for the recommendedservice mileage.

K1famous:
In reality, you have made a very good point which require a wise words. Some years back when i travel to isreal for research, someone from research team ask this type of question, and there was a priest in temple at jerusalem, who said ' he think 'God has raise heaven seven times more than the way it was from the first creation''. He said, God in his Mighty definately understand what the power of unity can be, so HE wouldn't have been border if HE knows man can't achieve it. GOD RAISE HEAven seven times high, and He bring up dissorder in language so that we all can reason in different way.

Raised heaven seven times? That sounds like a joke. Where is heaven? Where is your proof that heaven was raised? Do you know how high a space rocket flies? Language is no longer a barrier as humans from different countries carry on projects without language disturbing them.

malvisguy212:
when God created man, He command man to be fruitful and multiply the earth. alright, instead of multiplying the earth, the people are planing to settled down in one place :

Genesis 11 read;
"And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, LEST WE BE SCATTERED ABROAD UPON THE FACE OF THE WHOLE EARTH. And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builde"

clearly written, they were not plaining to multiply the earth, Instead the were plaining to settle down In one place. and also, the people say, " let us make name for ourselves" is this not pride and boastfulness ? so God bring them on there knell.

Doesn't answer the questions one bit. How can prehistoric people build a tower to get to heaven? Building manually for that matter. Is heaven up? Most importantly, God scattered their plans by causing confusion in their midst because He didn't want them to achieve their aim. Read verse 6 "And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do."
It seems God actually said they could achieve their aim, so He scattered them. How possible is it to build a tower to heaven? Prehistoric men for that matter. Is heaven up? How come we don't see it when we fly in the plane. Lalasticlala, please push this to the front page. Let's hear from gurus.

Genesis 11:4 to 7. This chapters talk about God not being pleased with the sons of men for wanting to build a tower that would get to heaven. Hence, He caused them to have different languages and casued confusion in their midst.
How realistic is it to build a tower to heaven?
Is heaven up?
Could the tower be as high as the Burj Khalifa?
Could the tower go as high as space ships which shoots up far into the skies?
Don't the world have a common language now?
Has anyone seen heaven today with all the latest technology available?

As a Christian, we sometimes wonder about certain passages in the bible.

So many questions to ponder on. The reason for this thread is to get explanations from bible 'scholars'. The floor is open.