₦airaland Forum

logan2:
I agree I'm an amateur,but can you at least contribute sense to my predicament
.....

Only a slowpoke will contribute to an obviously false story.

Actually I'm quite worried that you guys would separate for such a flimsy reason. Whether u take the pre wedding pics or not, I see a marriage full of turmoil. Think twice bro.

logan2:
My girlfriends sister snitched on her, now her parents wants to see me, (strict parents) mehn my mind is beating fast , guys what should I do, chei smallie don put me for wahala....

Gurus what should I do,I don wanna be In a broadcast pop ....

Amateur. This message was typed by you. We can see your keyboard typing the letters Cr. Olodo.

Enttiement mentality of people. You want to ride a car, then buy a car. It costs money to run a car. Fuel, repairs, servicing etc.
If you earn a decent living and you are striving to get yours and you are responsible, then your sibling may consider giving you one. It's a privilege not a right, please know that.

Biglittlelois:
My answer to your question is yes he cheated cos he kissed someone else


I'm glad you know the stupid kiss can destroy your marriage because that in itself is hurtful cos it is cheating.

Shut up little girl. Anyone can get carried with a kiss, it's allowing yourself get carried away and going further that is the issue. Yes, I will forgive a partner for a kiss and not more. All these kids on NL who know nothing about life.

The problem you have is you are not patient. Leaving a partner who is unserious isn't the issue, it's a valid reason, however, you have to have tried several times to motivate her without result. You don't say a person is unserious just after one attempt and she even had a valid reason. You don't write people off at all. This same girl can become your boss tomorrow, you don't control anyone's future. Learn from your mistakes. You might just be the helper and mentor this girl needs to be the best version of herself.

Going to jail for stubbornness. Even if you disagree with a government official, don't get violent or take laws into your hands because if e happen now, small thing go turn into big case.

starring:
She's 22 yrs.. I'm faithful, I don't have time hoeing around. If I do the same, I don't have any right to be hurt

You sef na mumu. Who takes a 22 year old serious? She's a child and is experiencing life. Any girl below 27 at the least doesn't understand the concept of relationship.

starring:
Good day fellow Nairalanders

I met this girl last year July through a good friend, while I was oversees, we started e-dating and everything went smoothly although, we had series of misunderstandings during December last year but we resolved it afterwards

She called me and told me to me about a particular guy that comes to sleep at her room (she's still schooling), she said the guy was her cousin. I had to believe her because according to her, he is a cousin and I don't think they will be romantically involved in anyway.

The guy slept in my GF's room 3 different times that I'm aware of. He spent 5days the first time, the second time he spent close to a week, the third, he slept and left the following day. She told me each time the guy was visiting, this made me trust her and believed that the guy was her cousin.

My GF and I had a serious argument and misunderstanding this January, my girlfriend's brother had to step in and begged on her behalf. GF's brother and I spoke at length and I used that opportunity to ask my GF's bro about the guy my girlfriend introduced to me as her cousin.

Her brother told me they are not related by blood in any way, that they are JUST close family friends and nothing more and moreso, the guy in question once asked my gf out but due to the closeness of the family, my guy's mum playfully declined the request. Immidately he said this, my blood pressure increased, my heart beat increased 100x faster, one million and one thoughts ran through my head.

Though, I once asked her why the cousin always come to her room and stay longer period of days before leaving, the answer she gave me was that the guy is a serving corps member and whenever he wants to visit his family, he branches to her place and spend some time with her before going home (when I was in Nigeria, I do visit my cousins and spend time with them before leaving so I had no issues with the guy coming over if truly they are related)

To cut the long story short, I asked her about the true identity of the guy, she told me the truth and she swore that they did nothing during her so called 'cousin' numerous sleepovers in her room. I forgave her for lying to me and we moved on.

I got back to Nigeria last month and a source disclosed to me that my GF and her 'cousin' had sex more than five different occasions. (I don't want to reveal my source, my gf is an active nairalander)

I called her and told her about what I heard. She denied at first but later told me that they had sex 4 different times while I was away. (I'm dead sure it must be more than 4 times) She said they made out when we had issues during the December time. If this is true, they had sex 4 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS within the space of 31 days. (if not more than 10 times sef)

I'm so devastated right now. We saw over the weekend, she wasn't feeling too well, I picked her from her school to the school hospital and later brought to my house. She spent the night at my place and begged me all through the night for me to forgive her and that she is truly sorry for the pain she caused me, she also begged in the car with tears and mucus all over her face while I was dropping her off to her place. She said she is a changed person and that her life will be meaningless if I leave and that everybody deserves a second chance.

I honestly don't know what to do at this juncture. I don't tolerate infidelity of any kind more reason why I'm straightforward and loyal to her. I told her I have forgiven her because she wouldn''t leave my car if I don't forgive her. She kept crying and crying making passers-by wonder if I'm trying to kidnap her or something, I felt uncomfortable with the whole situation. The truth is that my heart is far from her the very moment she admitted to having sex with the guy while in a relationship with me. I find it highly disturbing.

How do I leave her without making her hurt herself because she may get herself killed once it's obvious that i am gone for good and secondly, if truly she's changed, is her sin really forgivable and forgettable?

Hmmm, women. Women deep down do not care much about money or looks, they care about emotions. It's poverty that makes them follow guys in Nigeria for money. That cousin na person wey go see u dey call u bros, dey shake u with 2 hands, dey carry your bags for you. Truth is she doesn't love you, she loves "the cousin". Any attempt to keep dating her will lead to drastic heartbreak for you. Be warned.

Fake brand. I bought 2 useless mouka foam mattress recently. I think they have degenerated.

.Marriage is not a pity arrangement. If she's found 'marriageable' someone will.

How stupid can some people be? Just wondering...

It's a personality thing. There is little or nothing you can do bro, there are lot's of people like that, they don't take life too seriously. But didn't you notice this before marriage? Carry your cross bro.

Naija go say, nor worry God go give you another pikin. Rescue operation ke? Who dash u

salsera:
Sibling Family Preference is F4
That's about 15 years you're right. But the time varies for the most part the trend is that it gets longer

Visa bulletin each month tells you were they currently are

Then the status of immigration categories is still subject to US congress so if it still exists when your time comes see it as a retirement plan

Well,. thanks. By then I will be 'too big' by God's grace to leave Nigeria to go and start hustling abroad. If it will be possible to just get it for the kids sake and come back home that will be good sha. Let's see what the future holds. Thanks for your response, I appreciate.

Hi all, please I was filed for in 2012 as a sibling of a citizen. Any idea how long it takes for the petition to get approved? I have a career and all but I want to know if I stand a chance in migrating or it will happen when I become an old man?
In 2012 i was single, I'm now married with kids and have risen considerably in my organization so I wonder if it will still be worth it if approved. Someone said total wait time for a sibling is like 15 years...lol. Maybe I will be a grandpa then. I'm in my mid 30's now. What category do I fall into? F what?

Havre:
When did you schedule and which week in Feb did you get?

Scheduled some months back

Scheduled a date in Feb. My family has been to the US some years ago, however we have a 2 year old who wasn't born then and he applied with us. However, we all opted for the interview but some people said we should have done drop box while only the new kid applies for the interview. Is it a problem? Just wondering.

Is she planning on selling the car? What has her name being on the document have anything to do with her been the one that controls the car? Some people are petty and can not be trusted.

Marriage doesn't change people, that's the number one lesson every person should learn. Contentment is what every young person should imbibe, especially our ladies. Please stop giving her money if her reasons are flimsy. If it's a serious case like Ill health or both partners are out of job, then you can keep assisting.

Guys are the cause of these problems, too lazy to clean up after themselves. Then as a bachelor, my house was so clean and put together, nothing for a woman to clean if she comes over. When she offer to cook I tell her not to bother. They never see any dirty laundry to offer to wash..lol.
Never make yourself indebted to a woman so that if she's not what you want you kick her out without any guilty feelings. Now that you have been eating free food and using her as a cleaner, you need peoples advice to tell you what to do. If you had your shiiit put together, you wont even think twice before telling her you ain't giving out your keys.

cococandy:
She encouraged you to save. How many did you encourage to save?

Irrelevant to the topic at hand. Create a different thread and you'll be surprised at the stories I have to share.

DonnyE:
Bros nice topic, but I am faced with same problem. What can I invest in like you did because I am not buying a car yet.

Put your money in treasury Bill's for a year if you have nothing concrete to do with the money while you figure out what to do with it.

pocohantas:
The OP didn't generalize, he said AVERAGE. Take 10 girls, 5 (if not more) out of them do not save. They are only after flashy life, iPhone, weaves, clothes, designer bags... etc. is the above true? The answer is yes. Let's not dance around it.

How many young girls would just stay and ask their bf his career goals? His plans for the future? If he is fulfilled at his place of work? If he has bought a land? Tell him about Tbills, FD? How many ask these questions? Not just ask because she read it from a book, but because she means it and can offer good counsel.

OP, because they know you will always give them. It there is no guy somewhere that will be begging a girl to come out and take icercream/pizza, on his own account kwa, some will start having sense. Pick the kind of girl you want, it might take a while, but frugal girls abound. You just might find them plain, since they don't spend all their money on fancy things.

Beautiful, God bless you. It's not everything that is war of the sexes, most Nigerian girls are leeches. The first lady I met who actually told me how much she had as savings and how she invested over the years, encouraged me to save and trust me I married her and we've been married for over a decade and we've achieved things together.
The others before her were just "wire me money'. It's a shame the way majority of our young girls have become so materialistic.

Unfortunately you don't have a man yet. First guy has issues, just like you do. Second guy seems perfect now, but chances are he will elope after you start dating and understands the reality of having to deal with a divorced mother.
I will say what you need is a financially stable version of the first guy. Like others have said, you guys need money to take care of the kids you already have and will still have.

Saffi:
Do you have any proof that I’m not married? Are you telling me that every single person who comments on this section relating to marital issues is married? Please kindly keep your silly opinions to yourself, it’s not wanted.

Liars have no reputation.

Saffi:
people can notice, I couldn’t care less. I don’t have to prove myself to faceless people who I don’t know. Good morning and have a nice day.

Lol. Why give advice to married people when u are still struggling with understanding relationships? This kind of topics are for married people and singles should read and learn not talk about something they know nothing about.

Personally I'll say keep away from people with too much drama surrounding them. It never ends well.

It's now clear why men hit women. The OP just came back to say she was the one who attempted hitting her man and got a beating. Women are the cause of 90% of the issues in relationships.
What we men should do is learn to keep our cool and ignore them for peace to reign. The husbands method of withdrawing is just to keep sane and not do something crazy.

nickxtra:
My sister, my blood. Aproko go finish u

For you to be asking for advice from nairaland shows you are still a kid and shouldn't be at that meeting. Mature people will know what to say, they don't need advice from kids and faceless people to solve family problems.

Treasuredlove:
attraction and love...two different things bro

I see a lot of people saying love doesn't really matter, love isn't the ultimate. Love will never stop being the ultimate because it is what makes the relationship work. Marriage in itself is serious work and without love, not much will work. If a woman is trapped in a loveless marriage where the guy loses his job and becomes penniless...God save that man. Or if a man is trapped in a loveless marriage where the woman suddenly begins to grow fat...God save that woman. When one is in a comfortable place, anything can be accepted. Comfort is deceptive but test them with a little discomfort...
Attraction goes and comes but love...it never fades

What exactly is love? The only love I can vouch for is the love of a parent for child, sibling love or child for parent. As for romantic love, something entices you in the first place. Looks, attitude, intelligence, wealth, character etc. Take away that and the so called love disappears. What you have left is sympathy. Most people who claim to be in love and later lose what attracted then still do stay because they either have no where to go or know it will be unfair to leave. Romantic love is just a concept, deep down it is tied to something. But with familial love, it is deep. A mother will still love that child with learning abilities or deformities etc.
What is important in marriage is tolerance, companionship, compatibility etc. Love or whatever it is called comes last.