₦airaland Forum

Up your game sweet heart. We are all allowed to have sex when we want to,
I'm sure you'll get some half assed decent dude to shag you while treating you right. Maybe on the other hand your dna's wired all wrong,

I know one dude called St. Obi.
He wears lemon colored suits, orange colored suits with garishly yellow ties. His shows are point to kill with some adventurous color combo

saw crackles rolling dice in peckham with some of his mates,

pinky lady:
it's not as if i'm in support or against pastor Adeboye, but why don't we just live every thing in the hands of God to judge.

and another thing that keeps me wondering is that issues of pastor Adeboye keep coming up on nairaland almost everyday.

Hmmm,
If you have a private jet, you can scam people of 2 bn naira, have more worshippers that you can make money from, you appear at politicians birthday parties, I'll hedge my bets that you will keep cropping up on NL every other day, capisce?

The problems with the Nigerian psyches are that we are so quick to shove all the problems to God to be the judge of it. What did He give us brains for?
Your post surmises our situation, the one reason we are not developing,

ak21:
Love does exist poster but you have to love yourself first, love others and be nice to girls then you will get plentiful of it in return.Hmm, sounds like a preacher!

Nice one bruv,

I think poster, whats happening is the guy you like is shy
Most fine boys that are smart ain't shy. They use the 'fine' as a weapon to demolish tripping girls heart. Back in the old days, they used to be called playas. Don't know what's called now, casanova?

Well I am not so embarrassed again, thought I was the only one that this stuff gets to,
Used heads and shoulder, didn't work much. Tresseme did the magic. Best thang is to see the doc/dermatologist and cut your hair low,

750k, ?

here we go again,
the vicious cycle of borrowing. why should we borrow? If we borrow moneys, all we end up doing is spending frivolously like some 49 year old retard. This is quite unlike other so called emerging economies that use the moneys to develop the country
We should learn to leave within our means,

Madam,
I do hope you are the boss where you work. If not,
You are one hard nut. Common a little sense of humour while you do the job is allowed,
Cheerio and be nice to me at least!

There is no need for any closet or self declared atheist or agnostic fellow to delete this prolix writing. By the very nature of the interminable prose, it would self destruct.
If you need to read something this long, I suggest you get St. Augustine's Confessions

Don't I love this guy. I think he should be the Nigerian minister of finance, he'll be able to diversify and revive our paraleptic economy by coming up with some Madoff like schemes.
Does he need another jet? Or a customised Rolls Royce phantom?
Mehn, these pastors are turning into a leach on the Nigerian masses. The gullible masses are loving these because of the feel good factor. I do hope they do proper accounting for all these monies they make.
1.7 billion naira can sure do loads of stuffs for the people leaving below the poverty line in Nigeria such as and include creating jobs and wealth not just for the church but for the society.
There is no need to try to evangelise the whole world. The Europeans tried it, taking Christianity all over the 'uncivilised' world. They came to the realisation that religion was just another instrument of oppression. I pray the Good Lord opens up our eyes to see the gargantuan scams being perpetuated by this men of God all for vainglorious reasons. Amen!

I think the mugu should go back to the former boss. She wasn't telling the whole truth about what she used to do to the boss before she got sent to Edi-effin-bra,

Abeg how much be dolla, euro and mama charlie for malla yesterday and/or today?

Shaunscot:
My point exactly.
You cant compare the running cost here in Nigeria to that of other countries.
While there is no power,internet and high rent in choice areas, in developed countries you have constant electricity, free Wireless Hot-spots and I'm sure u cant compare rents.
Why I included rent is because I'm privy to information that a bank had to withdraw their ATM in the Galleria just because the Bruces were requesting a 2M per annum rent (for an ATM space) - Its that bad.

I think you'll find out the average cost of running an ATM is much the same as that of Nigeria. For your information nobody is gonna give banks free wireless hotspots. Even if you give them they won't take it. Its too unsecured. The banks in the UK and US have to pay loads of money for the prime spaces they occupy. The cost of staff per hour in a bank is much higher. I think you are bringing a lot of crock and sentiments into this. If you are not informed shut the heck up! It is said, we can consider a fool a philosopher when they keep quiet too!
All I can say is the banks in Nigeria are doing business the wrong way. Its very unethical to charge people for ATM cards, when they still charge people for withdrawing at their branches and in some cases a monthly charge for having ATM cards. Just completely senseless!!

true true, the guy na over correct.
wish you luck as you sell other things.

I drink 2 shots of paraga before the meal to put me in the mood, during the meal, if its pounded yam i wash it down with palmwine, if its rice or any 'soft food', 2 bottles of shine shine bobo, after the meal another bottle, regardless of the kind of meal.
when i am really really broke, i take water, argh,

You cannot be serious. Who does txns on the frontpage of a public forum without due intelligence. I fear for the future of any of you business endeavours walai.
Anyways, to cut the long story short, I am offering Seun 50 million and 1 naira. I am a long time member, even if its under another name, I came in April 05, lol. I should get a chance at first offer!

I think its a good thing chip and pin is recognised in Naija as a more secure way of transacting business. I think Intercontinental Bank is going about it the wrong way. You do not charge customers for ATM/Debit card. You should instead persuade them to have it. It makes life easier for everyone. Reduces the crowd in the banking hall and frees up the tellers to do other jobs. Oh well, I forgot Intercontinental Bank is almost distressed, they need all the money they can. Please help them and pay 500 card for ATM.
Their management are a bunch of w***kers! (As a former employee I know this for sure!)

I bought beer plenty for my men. Went partying through the weekend. Gave about half to my mum. Now I am wiser as the guy said, not that I regret the life anyways!
But will those days of youth come again, I wish

abeg, is it that i am dumb or this thread is just pointless?

Dear Oblo and members of Nairaland,
I have watched with great sadness, the way you and other Nairalanders have been messing around with such an important topic with consequence to compromise the national security of this great country. It is saddening to note that no one is proposing a scientifically proven solution to test the audacity and authenticity of the bloodline of these miserable/noble mongrels.
As a de facto member of EFCC and NAFDAC and by the power conferred on me by Baba Go Slow, I am going to prescribe a test for determining the truth behind the pedigree and progenitor of these canine species.
Please Mr Oblo, follow the following steps:

1. Place any of the dogs in a sack. Preferably ghana-must-to-go. Put 4- 5 naira notes, 7-100 naira notes and17-1000 naira notes and tie the handle with a green and red sash. Put the puppy in boiling water, preferably agbari ojukwu outside in plain view. It the puppy shouts "yepaaa, abegii" know for certain its a darn stupid bingo. Please be advised, don't let it out of the pot. cover it up, add tatase, onion, ginger, salt, maggi and text your friends to come over. Also, get burukutu to boot. Helps ease tension.

2. If by chance it does not yell, or shout any profanity. Then time for step two. Bring the puppy out of the pot immediately, further delay may result in damaged goods. Take another puppy, soak in vinegar for 10 mins. Make sure the head is above the solution. Please purchase vinegar from NAFDAC approved sources. My wife has a reputable store. I'll send you the store's number if you want (notice its not my wife's number, I don't want shady people like you calling my wife at midnight- she's beautiful!). Drain the vinegar, muzzle the dog so it does not bark. You can tie the legs to a pole and slowly turn over fire. If the fur catches fire, for sure its not a mongrel. Put out the fire immediately. This may require some skills I can provide at some extra fees.

3. To differentiate between a mongrel and a bull mastiff is a little more complicated. I am almost tempted to charge you a fee for providing this service. But I won't as a loyal citizen of this esteemed forum. It has been proven that Labs and Mastiffs react differently to distance,  light, height, gravity and speed

You'll need a partner for this.
You'll have to tie the puppies, one on your back and the other infront of you. Only two puppies per person allowed for this test
You will now hire okada at night. Make sure you start off at exactly 8.23 pm. It should be on a Saturday. Then you go off from your house at VI to Abeokuta. This ride might take between 4 to 5 hours, depending on traffic, RCCG convention, MFM prayers etc etc. If the dog whines, for sure its a Lab. (did I forget to mention you should go along with tape recorders).
You can separate the puppies when you get to Abeokuta.
At Abeokuta, go straight to the top of Olumo rock. Wait till 4.12 am exactly, then drop the puppies at the same time. I repeat, at the same time, if not the test doesn't work. After this jump off the rock too to check. Anyone that is standing is a bull mastiff. Anyone that is dead is still bingo. Cut your losses and go home.

I do hope this finally settles the brouhaha over these dogs.

Warm regards,

Z

gettysburg abi kil o nje.  I take exception to you saying  Kogi State is poor. We are no less poor than the rest of Nigeria. The whole of Nigeria is a poor state (no puns here).
For your information he's not Nigeria's current greatest legend. I think it is a sad day for Nigeria when people like you start calling people who do no contribute anything to the common man's well being as the greatest legends we have. Its a pity we are not counting any scientists, activists, inventors or literary giants as legends. Thankfully a quick google check will return more names for Soyinka, Achebe, Emegweali or even Ribadu!
A seeker of publicity would seek publicity anywhere, irrespective of the state being 'poor' or not. I can only imagine the number of 'ghana-must-go' Adeboye would have loaded into the hull of his aircraft after prayers for the 'heathen' carpenter governor.
If its true he said the governor is doing a good work, then there is one of two things nay three things happening here:
1. He is ill informed about the state of Kogi State, where the governor and his cronies have been robbing the treasury empty.
2. He's deliberately lying to curry more favour from the governor (we all know aviation fuel is expensive!)
3. He has not consulted the Holy Spirit before he made that statement (or the Holy Spirit is no more talking to him)
I think its time this 'men of God' be told to concentrate on the gospel instead of fraternising with power!

I know why they keep going and coming back. I know you don't give them straff. And guys need this. But the Naija mentality to marry "good girl" is there.