Child support lets say $1000 per month. Lawyer fees $300/hour on a case that might go on for several years cause more bitterness send the woman to jail and children to foster care etc

I think the man has taken the smart option when the kids are 13 and above old enough to think for themselves they would adjust.

I have seen several cases of kids manipulated by their mom while young but grew old to hate their mom and realize the truth

dayokanu:

Enlighten us how he can do more for the kids other than paying his child support promptly without going to JAIL

Or do you think a woman who reports that her ex husband has beer in his fridge would hesitate to throw him in jail?

i dnt ve much information on how these things work in US but as 4 me, na fight 2 finish, i cant wait till when they r 14 to bond wit them o. I dnt think he has exhausted all means. The love 4 those kids shd come first.

dayokanu:

How many employers do you think would want to go through the investgation to determine who was right and who was wrong and the circumstance .

The law says you should hire felons but in reality how many felons get jobs after serving time?

We know its not black and white but how many employers, general public would want to hear the grey area before passing judgment?

If a man was WRONGLY accused of child rape, and he drives a school bus how many people here would want to put their daughters on such bus. Wrong or right no be my pikin head we go test

Okay I hear you .... But isn't that info supposed to be confidential with the HR , so how will the parents know?..... A man wrongly accused of rape , it'll be written in his file if ; there wasn't evidence or its proven without a reasonable doubt .... just saying

Sisi_Kill:

Dayo nowhere does it say the guy will be instantly jailed, automatically loses his job and all the other bad things envisioned. . .which are the point being argued.

Anything we do, especially when it isn't planned will change our lives! The divorce itself is already affecting lives, it is already causing tension! The wife has already filed a RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM! Ins't that already calling his character into question?! So the false Allegations aren't bringing anything new to the table.

This is the part where we should be focused on.

While all those investigations are going on what do you think would be happening to the man? If he works in a construction site or oil rig where he rarely comes in contact with women and kids he might keep his job but no way he keeps a school principal, driver or any job that has to do with kids.

Upon accusation he is arrested, he would be released on bail by Bond, he would be going for court hearing regularly for years possibly.

SO how many people would he tell that "the child rape case against me in 2003 was actually dismissed so your kids are free to come play at my house"?

It costs money to go to court, but why attach your name to such a record? If there is an over enthusiastic prosecutor in that county who is an advocate, the prosecutor can take up the case and file criminal charges against the man. That is when he will know the true meaning of lawyer fees. This one he is running away from is small beans. Then it would be out of the woman's hands and she would be too scared to get involved or tell the truth. He can go to jail for almost 20yrs based on the children's recorded testimony alone. So at the end of the day he can lose it all. Sometimes being cheap is not the best. A clean name is beTter than saving money. If she is found to be lying, she will go to prison and he will get custody. She is an adult, let her face the repercussions. His silence is implied acceptance of the charges by the way.

davidylan:

1. Canadian law and US law are not the same.

2. You run a small private business; i'm assuming the man in case here is working for a bigger company here in the US. Such allegations are not something HR is willing to banter with the police over when they can easily find someone else to replace him and avoid a potential lawsuit. Like is said... Canadian experience is not applicable here.

Can't you just pretend I'm not here David? Leave me alone na? Ah!

jidegirl12:

Okay I hear you .... But isn't that info supposed to be confidential with the HR , so how will the parents know?..... A man wrongly accused of rape , it'll be written in his file if ; there wasn't evidence or its proven without a reasonable doubt .... just saying

A child rape , wife battery or rape case usually filters into the community and the man would already be judged in the court of public opinion even when acquitted some people would still view him with suspicion and he would never be able to get back to his former life.

Just because he wants to build a relationship with his children

davidylan:

err beer is his fridge being made available to minors?

dayokanu: Let any married woman in the house tell us they dont have wine, beer, Baileys Irish cream etc in their fridge, So why havent they gotten rid of it or called cops on their husband

Sigh!

Dayo just answered why nothing came out of that accusation. . . .it is a silly, childish allegation. Who doesn't have wine in their refrigerator? Even the judge has wine in his refrigerator....expensive ones sef. It's not like the wine was in their milk gallon and they coulda mistakenly drank it. So kini big deal?!!

Look, no one is saying the woman can't talk and talk and talk, it is her mouth, she can do whatever she wants with it. . .as long as the courts haven't taken any measures based on what she says, DUDE IS OKAY!!!

She keeps running to HER LAWYER with these allegations. . .yet nothing has come of them because he knows it is stupid but he isn't gonna tell her that. How can he charge her $350/hr if he does that?!!

jidegirl12:

Can't you just pretend I'm not here David? Leave me alone na? Ah!

Seriously i'm trying but you have to help me here. If you type anything brain-dead then i wont be able to hold myself from commenting.

baby_123: It costs money to go to court, but why attach your name to such a record? If there is an over enthusiastic prosecutor in that county who is an advocate, the prosecutor can take up the case and file criminal charges against the man. That is when he will know the true meaning of lawyer fees. This one he is running away from is small beans. Then it would be out of the woman's hands and she would be too scared to get involved or tell the truth. He can go to jail for almost 20yrs based on the children's recorded testimony alone. So at the end of the day he can lose it all. Sometimes being cheap is not the best. A clean name is beTter than saving money. If she is found to be lying, she will go to prison and he will get custody. She is an adult, let her face the repercussions. His silence is implied acceptance of the charges by the way.

The woman has shown her hand that she wants to Bleep him up, She hasnt made a case yet ut she definitely wont hesitate to make one. So why not just stay away till the kids are old enough to stand up for themselves and say "Mom you are lying he didnt do this.." instead of toddlers who just nod and hug their mom while DADDY goes to jail

Sisi_Kill: The wife has already filed a RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM! Ins't that already calling his character into question?! So the false Allegations aren't bringing anything new to the table.

Do you know how easy it is to get one of those? They get handed out like candy with no proof.

Sisi_Kill:

Sigh!

Dayo just answered why nothing came out of that accusation. . . .it is a silly, childish allegation. Who doesn't have wine in their refrigerator? Even the judge has wine in his refrigerator....expensive ones sef. It's not like the wine was in their milk gallon and they coulda mistakenly drank it. So kini big deal?!!

Look, no one is saying the woman can't talk and talk and talk, it is her mouth, she can do whatever she wants with it. . .as long as the courts haven't taken any measures based on what she says, DUDE IS OKAY!!!

She keeps running to HER LAWYER with these allegations. . .yet nothing has come of them because he knows it is stupid but he isn't gonna tell her that. How can he charge her $350/hr if he does that?!!

This is what another poster wrote

Ujujoan: I don't know you tell me. Where I come from, such things like beer are actually kept away from young children . . . It's called child care. Any responsible father should know that!

What makes you think there isnt a law that states something like that, Just because everyone ignores it doesnt mean you cant go to jail for it

https://www.nairaland.com/1159663/should-he-fight-custody-kids/2#13807411

Abrantie:

Do you know how easy it is to get one of those? They get handed out like candy with no proof.

Hahaha
Nairaland don kill o.
But its the truth.

dayokanu:

The woman has shown her hand that she wants to Bleep him up, She hasnt made a case yet ut she definitely wont hesitate to make one. So why not just stay away till the kids are old enough to stand up for themselves and say "Mom you are lying he didnt do this.." instead of toddlers who just nod and hug their mom while DADDY goes to jail

Being cheap and trying to save her can cost him his freedom. She wants to put him away, and she will if he keeps ignoring. Should it so happen that there is one advocate prosecutor who hears of the case, then he is in deeper trouble. At least if they see he is fighting the charges, they will not be too quick to take it out of family court and press criminal charges. Child and spousal abuse is a real offense and not taken lightly. I wouldn't advise my own brother to go down like that. If she is lying, she certainly does not deserve and consideration at all. Him avoiding it all just implies that there is an element of truth. As it stands he has probably been denied visitation rights.

davidylan:

Seriously i'm trying but you have to help me here. If you type anything brain-dead then i wont be able to hold myself from commenting.

What's braindead here.... That's insulting you know.... I'm just saying things from my own point if view ..... Men of his type cross border to Canada to look for a job too you know... Oil rigs in Alberta is filled with US citizens ... Just ignore me Abeg !!!

baby_123:

Being cheap and trying to save her can cost him his freedom. She wants to put him away, and she will if he keeps ignoring. Should it so happen that there is one advocate prosecutor who hears of the case, then he is in deeper trouble. At least if they see he is fighting the charges, they will not be too quick to take it out of family court and press criminal charges. Child and spousal abuse is a real offense and not taken lightly. I wouldn't advise my own brother to go down like that. If she is lying, she certainly does not deserve and consideration at all. Him avoiding it all just implies that there is an element of truth. As it stands he has probably been denied visitation rights.

But if he doesnt see them isnt it easier?

At least you cant accuse a man in New York or rappingg a child in Florida?

Bottom line....His Ex is trying to destroy his relationship with his children and not taking action is NOT the right play.

dayokanu:

But if he doesnt see them isnt it easier?

At least you cant accuse a man in New York or rappingg a child in Florida?

What do you think the children have been testifying to? Going to buy chewing gum with daddy? The damage has already been done. So he has nothing else to lose except his freedom, if the case enters the wrong hands. In all sha, I hope he is innocent, since we heard it all from a third party.

The women in the forum are truly wicked. Why make s*tupid assumptions. One thing I know for certain is that one a woman is so determined to mess up your life, you would go to every extend. Nobody is talking about the huge cost of legal fees here, and from the post I'm reading it is so clear that the women here do not work for a corporate organization

Sisi_Kill: Bottom line....His Ex is trying to destroy his relationship with his children and not taking action is NOT the right play.

I cant say if its the right choice but can say its one of the SAFEST

Better SAFE than right.

You dont know the risks of being a MAN in America

Do you know how many guys picked a girl up in the club had consensual sex, He didnt call her the following day, She is pissed and calls the cops that he Date-rapped her?

baby_123:

Being cheap and trying to save her can cost him his freedom. She wants to put him away, and she will if he keeps ignoring. Should it so happen that there is one advocate prosecutor who hears of the case, then he is in deeper trouble. At least if they see he is fighting the charges, they will not be too quick to take it out of family court and press criminal charges. Child and spousal abuse is a real offense and not taken lightly. I wouldn't advise my own brother to go down like that. If she is lying, she certainly does not deserve and consideration at all. Him avoiding it all just implies that there is an element of truth. As it stands he has probably been denied visitation rights.

Exaaaaassactly!!!!!

dayokanu:

But if he doesnt see them isnt it easier?

At least you cant accuse a man in New York or rappingg a child in Florida?

Exactly! The guy has analyzed his options, moves and consequences. He is taking the path of "least resistance".

Meynn.. logic and women don't mix.

dayokanu:

I cant say if its the right choice but can say its one of the SAFEST

Better SAFE than right.

You dont know the risks of being a MAN in America

A man who is on the right side of the law. ... little or no risk.

Boss13: The women in the forum are truly wicked. Why make s*tupid assumptions. One thing I know for certain is that one a woman is so determined to mess up your life, you would go to every extend. Nobody is talking about the huge cost of legal fees here, and from the post I'm reading it is so clear that the women here do not work for a corporate organization

that was what i originally thought. I wonder where folks think he will find the time to attend court cases that can stretch to years. Ordinary DUIs will cost you your job not to imagine spending a night in jail for a molestation charge.

Dayo's just scaring people with all his assumptions .

Don't listen to him o ..... go ahead with your visa lottery

baby_123:

Being cheap and trying to save her can cost him his freedom. She wants to put him away, and she will if he keeps ignoring. Should it so happen that there is one advocate prosecutor who hears of the case, then he is in deeper trouble. At least if they see he is fighting the charges, they will not be too quick to take it out of family court and press criminal charges. Child and spousal abuse is a real offense and not taken lightly. I wouldn't advise my own brother to go down like that. If she is lying, she certainly does not deserve and consideration at all. Him avoiding it all just implies that there is an element of truth. As it stands he has probably been denied visitation rights.

I didnt understand a word of what you said.

1. He is paying child support.

2. He has chosen to stay clear of his kids (whom he ex is using as a pawn to destroy him) for now...

So exactly how does all you said apply to him? What charges should he be fighting?

So all these wahala is b'cos of the law in the US, thats why to marry a woman over there one has to shine his eyes o, even our naija babes wey go there, once they know that the law is on their side, they just start behaving like person wey just commot for jail. If any woman do these kain thing 4 me, i go just go village 4 am. Pls David & Dayo, what do u think a man living in d US can do to prevent this kind wahala? b'cos this is not what u wish 4 ur enemy.

Sisi_Kill: Bottom line....His Ex is trying to destroy his relationship with his children and not taking action is NOT the right play.

No, bottom line -- His ex is trying to destroy his relationship with his children using biased laws, and he has decided not to play the game.

The only way to win is not to play, because once you decide to play, you're bound by the biased laws which only benefits one side.

Sisi_Kill:
A man who is on the right side of the law. ... little or no risk.

Oh yeah? Think again.

Your girlfriend accuses you of molestation - jail.
Your kids accuse report you for spanking them - jail
Your wife divorces you - lose 50% of your hard earned assets + lose your kids
Try and fight her in court - false charges + jail
Refuse to fight - get accused of being a spineless loser

Men... currently endangered species damned if they do and damned if they dont. I give up.

bjcole: So all these wahala is b'cos of the law in the US, thats why to marry a woman over there one has to shine his eyes o, even our naija babes wey go there, once they know that the law is on their side, they just start behaving like person wey just commot for jail. If any woman do these kain thing 4 me, i go just go village 4 am. Pls David & Dayo, what do u think a man living in d US can do to prevent this kind wahala? b'cos this is not what u wish 4 ur enemy.

1. Dont have a girlfriend - if you do make sure you screen them well. Best advice, do NOT under any circumstance date an akata or a nigerian chic fresh off the boat.
2. Dont marry - if you do make sure it is after serious prayer and the girl truly loves you and wants only what is best for you and her family.
3. If you have already made a mistake of marrying an idiot, keep your finances in secret accounts outside the US and make sure you dont have kids
4. If you have kids... you are basically screwed for life.
5. If all else fails - make sure you have a trusted attorney on your favorites phone list

- You picked a girl up in the club, had drinks, danced, had fun, went home together, had consensual sex, He didnt call her the following day, She is pissed and calls the cops that he Date-rapped her?

-Your girlfriend who feels bitter might report that she was rapedd, How do you prove that she was the one who yanked off her clothes and was riding you all night when it wasnt recorded on camera, He said she said, Benefit of doubt to the woman in most cases.

- Your co worker you say Hey Megan you are looking great your attire fits your figure perfectly. SHe smiles and feels flattered on Monday on Thursday same comment she calls HR that you made sexuallyy suggestive comments towards her. PINK SHEET next.

- You hold your 3yr old sons geni-tals to pee, your angry baby momma calls the cop that you are handling his diiiccckk. They ask you did you touch his diicckk? you say YES BANG JAIL here we come and a registered child offender for life.

Y'all dont understand what it means to be a black MAN IN AMERICA

bjcole: So all these wahala is b'cos of the law in the US, thats why to marry a woman over there one has to shine his eyes o, even our naija babes wey go there, once they know that the law is on their side, they just start behaving like person wey just commot for jail. If any woman do these kain thing 4 me, i go just go village 4 am. Pls David & Dayo, what do u think a man living in d US can do to prevent this kind wahala? b'cos this is not what u wish 4 ur enemy.

Bjcole you no go kill me with laughter it's not that tough the way those guys are portraying it.... as long as you don't disrespect the law simple!