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The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? (48568 Views)

What's The Biggest Lie Your EX Ever Told You / Ladies: What Is The Greatest Lie A Guy Has Ever Told You? / What Is The Dumbest Lie Your Ex Ever Told You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by FOLYKAZE(m): 11:27pm On Jul 02, 2013
Baby, I don belle food. With this your two egg, small milk and sausage roll, im greatly filled for nine month.

It like he is kicking....fvck it im pregnant
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by chinedum45(m): 11:28pm On Jul 02, 2013
Sweetheart i hate liers so let me ask u
Me: do u lie
she: No
me: >sad have u ever lied? undecided
she: no
me: shocked u just lied......who never lie before grin
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by delors(m): 11:29pm On Jul 02, 2013
wild child:
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Thank God say I nor dey there...

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by AbuMikey(m): 11:30pm On Jul 02, 2013
emmanuel4758: pls dnt mind dat zinjantropus creature
Your Mother Left Yansh!!! Ewu!!!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by bknight: 11:32pm On Jul 02, 2013
No funny smart lies. Just dumb lies!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by shilees(f): 11:33pm On Jul 02, 2013
It was new year's eve, I bought this lovely shoe for ma ex hoping to surprise him before I go to church dat night,on getting to his house, his gate man greeted me & said oga dey, his car was in d compound,buh entrance door was locked,I knocked, press bell no reply checked d door, d key was in d lock from inside,I then called his phone, he picked & started talking in low tone
X: am in d office we need to quickly do some jobs,I dint go with my car & I will go to church from work...
Me: but ur office has closed for d year since like 23rd
So who is in ur house?
X: nobody or mayb my friend.. He also has d key.
I just dropped d shoe with d gateman and left. Oniro
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by delors(m): 11:37pm On Jul 02, 2013
FILEBE: Nna mehn. Na una lies funny pass! Al of una name na LIEnus Igbokwe
Liar! How all of us go be LIEnus Igbokwe? angry 75% of us here na ELIAS and ELIJAH

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Destiny4fame(m): 11:38pm On Jul 02, 2013
Called her during xtra cool.......
Me:Hi angel,aw was ur day?
Ex:hi baby....see am very tired wit aw u play wit me today....my body is aching...U're jst too much.....U difer frm dat idiot 'ME' wey no get tym for me.....all na SUG......
Me:sweetie.....hu u dey folo talk
Ex:ahha..hmmm...#blabbing#...sowi...I thought it is ma friend........hmmmmmmmm

2 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by delors(m): 11:38pm On Jul 02, 2013
bknight: No funny smart lies. Just dumb lies!
Ok, so tell us your own smart lie, Mr No-Funny-Smart-Lies-Just-Dumb-Lies...
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by delors(m): 11:41pm On Jul 02, 2013
REALITY101:

Sounds like we've ban ged the same girl. I don't understand why Nigerian girls lie over virginity bullshhitt. Even a hoe from Las Vegas could be a virgin in California

Lol. Oh boy, u nor easy o.. grin grin grin grin
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by lordnammy(m): 11:44pm On Jul 02, 2013
A gal told me she is a virgin but to my surprise she had a four years old daughter
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by seunny4lif(m): 11:46pm On Jul 02, 2013
ayobo1: i was raped by boyz dats hw i lost my virginity. i laugh grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Na wetin almost all of dem dey yarn be dat..gringrin If,dem no rape dem?Na only one guy do am b4 u?Lwkmd...Girls sha

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by NOLONGTIN1(m): 12:30am On Jul 03, 2013
Me: Howfa naa, its been long, i've missed your punnany come to my house lets see

Girl: Noo!!

Me: What!! Why?

Girl: I'm re-virgin-ating

..... Some weeks later

Explicit Content
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by NOLONGTIN1(m): 12:46am On Jul 03, 2013
.....We had sex for the first time a day before (really didnt expect it, even though i've know her for a while)

Me: Hi, hw was ur day, was it easy for you to locate this place?

Her: Sure, i told you i'm gud with roads

Me: (no time to waste, Oshomo in the system) *starts removing her clothes*

Her: Can u imagine they stole 50k from me in my hostel while i was spreading my clothes downstairs, and the money isn't mine

Me: hmmmmmm

Her: and my friend has been disturbing me

Me: OK

Her: *Holds her bra* are u listening to me or are only interested in having sex?

.... Cant remember my replies but i know i convinced her i'll help her so i could fu*ck her.

WHO says stuff like that when a man is abt to have sex? does she expect me to say NO? Even if she wanted Heaven at that point i'm sure my reply would be OK/YES tomorrow
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by JOYCEOUS(f): 12:53am On Jul 03, 2013
lordnammy: A gal told me she is a virgin but to my surprise she had a four years old daughter

WONDERFUL!!!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by JOYCEOUS(f): 12:59am On Jul 03, 2013
cnwamo: Chairman we don hearna!!!!!!!, you don't have to type it twice...
Infact you are a suspect.

Buhahaha!
Pls carry on wit d investigation!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 1:27am On Jul 03, 2013
735 i: The first night we spent together she said;
Babes I forgot to tell u; I'm bleeding...
Na hin I remind am; but it's not up to two weeks ago u took money from my wallet which u said u were going to use to buy sanitary towels angry angry
As a sharp babe she quickly counter; oh those....? Those were for my roommate... Na hin I laugh.... The same roommate wey u tell me say una dey keep malice abi...
Me; if I sound you!!!....c'mon come tender the kpomo joor!!!

Badt guy
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 1:35am On Jul 03, 2013
2years ago,was down with a brother's friend. We kinna liked each other a lot and we hang out late night chatting and doing all sorts so one night,we were sitting in front of her house gisting bout d foods we like. Na so d girl nack me apako say "I don't take Agege bread,i only do wheat bread"and inside my mind, I was like wooow,first Nigerian I'm hearing say that. Some few minutes after then,the mum dashed out saying"u,I'm coming,want to buy D house something for breakfast tomorrow morning" and 10minutes later,the mum came back armed with 7LOAVES OF AGEGE BREAD and she made her arrival known with ds statement..
"Babe,this bread is fesh and hot. U better go choose ur own b4 ur younger ones finish it all. I
Lool

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Redboi(m): 1:36am On Jul 03, 2013
Mehn na one babe wey I bin date one gurl b4 o.she tell me say she luv mi too much...she also tell mi say na virgin she be,so i jst dy respect my self coz of LOVE na.. So one tym na, mi nd my guy dy yarn 4 2go, 4 im status im write ''I WNT 4GET 2DAY''. I cum ask am wetin happn, im cum tell mi say im knack one babe o,say ha tin swt die.i dy congratulate am say im try. i cum ask wu dy babe be?, to my shock na ma babe o. GURLS UNU TRY O
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Essential824(f): 2:27am On Jul 03, 2013
My ex said to me my sister's pastor said we are not meant to be. whereas he main reason was becos he can't marry outside his village
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 2:43am On Jul 03, 2013
born2fuck: I wanted to surprised her on valentine day, I have told her I will be very busy and we likely not see, she told me she will be home throughout as she has no where to go while I secretly bought a gift and head to her house. I got to her house, she was no where to be found, I called her, she told me she was in sitting room" Na waoo, I told her I was in same sitting room, she thought it was a joke, but immediately I gave phone to her Mum, she claimed she was in next street. Walahi" I waited for 2 good hours for person wey claimed she was on next, I could not even stand up with shame of gift I bought, even my leg dey shake, even when she land, her breasst almost commot for the type of dress she wear.
u were born to fvck, wats ur business wit romance? grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by dabrake(m): 3:49am On Jul 03, 2013
IamAthens: If you believe that 89.820% of these experiences are lies click like pls.
beggy beggy
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Uchmangunner: 4:13am On Jul 03, 2013
hunting for girls at the school because pu thought your girl travelled? Lol
drnairalov: EX_ i wud be travelling to abuja 2day to get some things frm ma uncle.send me like 6k..went to her school d nextday 4 sumthings, suprisingly saw her coming frm a rangerover sport. while me waz driving in2 d skul in ma small ride,

me- who is dat??
she - (shocked) aww sweerie what u doing here?? anywayz dats ma dad, ddnt know he waz coming to see me self
me - *giggles Oh!! really, thought u said u were goin to Abj yesterday
She-err! i changed ma mind dear...we had an important test this morning!!!


tho havent seen d fada bfo but chick forgot she told me her father waz a non teaching staff in U.I

i collected ma transport moni nd broke up sha...it still hurts *end of story
What were u doing in the school self? Hunting for other girls? Lol

*morals of d story all dem uncles gals say dey ve, re probably secret lovers
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 4:50am On Jul 03, 2013
WOW...Oyinbo made front page....Oyinbo power for sure...

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 7:01am On Jul 03, 2013
demelza: Dont know if this will count because we never dated.
Anyway the jerk told me he hates sex. Later discovered he had a steady galfriend who was feeding him on the side.
ohhh gawd , i'm rolling on the floor
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by born2boink(m): 7:05am On Jul 03, 2013
mondi_cheeks: u were born to fvck, wats ur business wit romance? grin grin grin
What does romance have to do with born2fuck, no matter how many holes man dig around, man will always have one hole he loves to dick every time
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by elari(m): 7:33am On Jul 03, 2013
she said he was her neighbour, true! he was. but was also collecting her congo
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by braxjay(m): 7:43am On Jul 03, 2013
[size=15pt]worse lie ever BABY I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART what my head keeps saying lie lie lie lie and more lies[/size]
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by akereconfi: 7:46am On Jul 03, 2013
Magicdon: wat is PORTINOR pls?

POSTINOR not PORTINOR....it's a contraceptive taken by girls when they have unproctective sex..... Used tu avoid pregnancy
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by diremi12(m): 7:55am On Jul 03, 2013
My ex always told me she hanging out with her uncle. Till late in the night. I found out they weren't even from same town. She been dey deliver like fedex. She has slept with half of the lecturers in her dept. pussy is now slacksad
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by justplainpaul(m): 7:57am On Jul 03, 2013
teniola55: Can you please help me click "LIKE"..becos i love "NIKE"
Nah kiddo
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by braxjay(m): 7:58am On Jul 03, 2013
735 i: The first night we spent together she said;
Babes I forgot to tell u; I'm bleeding...
Na hin I remind am; but it's not up to two weeks ago u took money from my wallet which u said u were going to use to buy sanitary towels angry angry
As a sharp babe she quickly counter; oh those....? Those were for my roommate... Na hin I laugh.... The same roommate wey u tell me say una dey keep malice abi...
Me; if I sound you!!!....c'mon come tender the kpomo joor!!!

badt guy u haff finished me kpata-kpata

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