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The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? (48577 Views)

What's The Biggest Lie Your EX Ever Told You / Ladies: What Is The Greatest Lie A Guy Has Ever Told You? / What Is The Dumbest Lie Your Ex Ever Told You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by SmashingM(f): 11:53am On Jul 03, 2013
Ex told me (without my asking him) that he earns 25k a month as IT specialist not knowing that i accidentally saw his payslip.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by adecore: 11:55am On Jul 03, 2013
Wuked.P:
My Dear anytime am traveling i love goin by air, Then i asked her, wats ur prefared airline? And she said DHL i almost faintedcheesycheesysmiley

Omo if na me,I for still dey faint ooo. Choi see lie.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by PedroJP(m): 11:57am On Jul 03, 2013
SniperInADiaper:

Unfortunately.. Hes not lying.. See his pic:



yeah and also on guard( i mean wearing his CD) against any trap like STD,AIDS etc which that sweet thing fit come with
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by sakaguchi(m): 12:05pm On Jul 03, 2013
Tarelove: On a first date with her she said I study at Land mark University in port high cort. Pals dat was d end of d date.
I don't understand, did she write it?
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by adecore: 12:06pm On Jul 03, 2013
sakaguchi:
You starved him of sex or both of you were starved of sex?

Are you sure he was indeed starved? The last shoe wey you see for your door no be your size? 42? Mumu like you.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by 190: 12:09pm On Jul 03, 2013
seunny4lif: Na wetin almost all of dem dey yarn be dat..gringrin If,dem no rape dem?Na only one guy do am b4 u?Lwkmd...Girls sha

Lol
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Katier00(f): 12:10pm On Jul 03, 2013
U ar damn funny
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by adecore: 12:13pm On Jul 03, 2013
Magicdon: wat is PORTINOR pls?

Na wetin dem dey put for bread if Mayonnaise don finish.

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 12:17pm On Jul 03, 2013
Boo: my dad is italian
Me: baby how come u'r so dark
Boo: because i was born in Ghana
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Katier00(f): 12:17pm On Jul 03, 2013
Pls dnt kill me
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by sakaguchi(m): 12:20pm On Jul 03, 2013
adecore:

Are you sure he was indeed starved? The last shoe wey you see for your door no be your size? 42? Mumu like you.
Chairman, you're not suppose to quote me na, you're to quote Berem who thought her bobo was sex starved. I only pointed to her that even if he did not poke another person, then both of them were starved of sex by her temporary celibacy.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by mn09abk: 12:34pm On Jul 03, 2013
Her: I dont think i can do this anymore, I want to Get bAck to Spirituality and Concentrate on God

3 Months Later Traditional Wedding pics on FB with the so called "ex"
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 12:34pm On Jul 03, 2013
Boo: my dad is Italian
Me: oh really, but how come u luk so dark
Boo: because i was born in Ghana

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 12:35pm On Jul 03, 2013
__
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 12:46pm On Jul 03, 2013
Boo: my dad is Italian
Me: oh really so how come u r so dark
Boo: because i was born in Ghana
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by oluwabukunola(f): 1:01pm On Jul 03, 2013
ammy.ammy:
Each tym we (ex) re 2geda and his phone rings. he ll walk 3 miles away 4rm me, on coming back he ll tell me its an international call. after we separated if I call him it ll take him ages 2 pick d call wit an excuse dat he hv 2 move away 4rm a noisy plc. it den dawn on me dat I am anoda international call.
ROTFL LAKMD grin grin cheesy grin grin grin cheesy grin
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by AbuMikey(m): 1:03pm On Jul 03, 2013
Ephraimspy:
NADIA BUARI IS FROM GHANA. READ HER PROFILE http://www.ghanashowbiz.com/celebs/nadia-buari-biography/
Ediot in high Places,dats what you are!!!......By the way, What are you saying??.I don't seem to understand!!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by anderson1994: 1:17pm On Jul 03, 2013
ma ex did ma frend den she called me n said "I gave him d wrong hole n he did nt kw " n I was like really few days latter ma frend told dat d girl was to wide lol n this chick bin dey form virgin for me :Dma ex did ma frend den she called me n said "I gave him d wrong hole n he did nt kw " n I was like really few days latter ma frend told dat d girl was to wide lol n this chick bin dey form virgin for me
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by AbuMikey(m): 1:24pm On Jul 03, 2013
NO LONG TIN: .....We had sex for the first time a day before (really didnt expect it, even though i've know her for a while)

Me: Hi, hw was ur day, was it easy for you to locate this place?

Her: Sure, i told you i'm gud with roads

Me: (no time to waste, Oshomo in the system) *starts removing her clothes*

Her: Can u imagine they stole 50k from me in my hostel while i was spreading my clothes downstairs, and the money isn't mine

Me: hmmmmmm

Her: and my friend has been disturbing me

Me: OK

Her: *Holds her bra* are u listening to me or are only interested in having sex?

.... Cant remember my replies but i know i convinced her i'll help her so i could fu*ck her.

WHO says stuff like that when a man is abt to have sex? does she expect me to say NO? Even if she wanted Heaven at that point i'm sure my reply would be OK/YES tomorrow
ROTFL
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by butpro(m): 1:33pm On Jul 03, 2013
born2fuck: Walahi if she asked for another airtime and you send it, thunder will strike you in Jesus name. Na una dey make other girls think all boys are mumu. Someone Bleep your friend and you still send airtime to her. Mumu original, na U bi dat
1000 Amen.

1 Like

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Mzspread(f): 1:34pm On Jul 03, 2013
Ds actually isn't my ex or current...just my landlord's grandson back den in sch.he lied to us dat he was in sch and wen bin asked wat d name of d sch is,he gives us different names every time he travels bak home from 'God-knows-where'. One day,we whr al talkn abt NYSC and giving options in whr we wna serve,al of a sudden, d guy just interrupted and said he is goin to serve in USA... There was an initial moment of silence dat looked like a long pause,and 'buhahahahahahah!!! Everybody bursted into laughter... I felt so embarassed for d chap!

5 Likes

Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Nobody: 2:02pm On Jul 03, 2013
I slept in his bed but nothing happened, he only tried....
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by wemmieslim(f): 3:55pm On Jul 03, 2013
Les: Not really ma babe but a next door neighbour..
Me: I saw u today in d market with a new foam.

Pp: I got admission, it's for my school.

Me: but u never took jamb, how manage??

Pp: yes, I got admission through direct entry..
And who gets admitted via Direct entry without any ongoin diploma course. Owk o....

Fast forward to few months later....

Me: pp, wat ya doing @home

Pp: yes, I came back for my I.T....

Me: I.T Wat
And I was like, stfu, u lying skunk lipsrsealed
Oh......no!!!
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by flairlady(f): 4:33pm On Jul 03, 2013
..
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by druid06(m): 4:33pm On Jul 03, 2013
Dudes on here are just recycling the same story. Guys, you need to get more creative. This thread is getting boring.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by flairlady(f): 4:34pm On Jul 03, 2013
i asked him what platoon he was in NYSC orientation camp and he told me he was in platoon 13!!That guy told me lots of lies
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by druid06(m): 4:34pm On Jul 03, 2013
Dudes on here are just recycling the same story. Guys, you need to get more creative. This thread is getting less interesting.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by 25omega(m): 4:51pm On Jul 03, 2013
SmashingM:
Ex told me (without my asking him) that he earns 25k a month as IT specialist not knowing that i accidentally saw his payslip.
is it that he makes more or less? i dont get your point.
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Saraha1(f): 5:04pm On Jul 03, 2013
[quote
author=flairlady]i asked him what platoon he was in NYSC orientation
camp and he told me he was in platoon 13!!That guy told me lots of
lies[/quote] He could be right.I was in platoon 13 which was the last platoon then at Akwa-Ibom.2009set .
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by druid06(m): 5:08pm On Jul 03, 2013
SmashingM:
Ex told me (without my asking him) that he earns 25k a month as IT specialist not knowing that i accidentally saw his payslip.

Is it any of your business if he makes more or less?
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by SpicyMimi(f): 5:24pm On Jul 03, 2013
ehiblessing: Hmmm it was a big lie I went to his hux on d bathroom I saw a girls panties and he told me it was 4 him, he was just too concincing dat he even tried it on himself dat I started doubting if it was reall a girks panties
this gotta be the funniest!!! He's such a pathetic liar! grin
Re: The Funniest Lie Your Current Or Ex-Partner Ever Told You? by Otses(f): 5:29pm On Jul 03, 2013
Hilarious thread, funny lies some people's ex told, and many LIES formed by people to add to the thread, just laughing reading some of the post.

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