Energito: the problem the guy have with the girl is that the is hot temper type which made the guy to always be afraid of talkin to her about that.but to say the gal love my guy so much

De Tus: @HisRib, you're doing a wonderful job so far. Are u paid for this job? Am just curious :-)

HisRib:

Attraction is not just a physical thing. If you say you're attracted to the fact that he's learned and is down to earth that means there's attraction. So, I am not quite understanding what is the problem.

I guess what you're trying to say is that there's no spark. There's no excitement. Am I correct?

I suggest that you give yourself time to get to know him. Sometimes one date is not enough. Spend some time with him and see what happens. That's all I can tell you.

The spark doesn't come right away from everyone. For some people it really takes time before they start building that spark/excitement. If in a couple months you still don't feel the spark, this man is not for you.

HisRib:

Hi,

I have a few questions for you:

1) If you accepted this throughout the 4 years you two were dating, why does it bother you all of a sudden?

2) Have you ever talked to him about this? Is he even aware of the fact that this bothers you?

3) I'm thinking, Maybe he hasn't kept his promises in terms of gifts & money because he doesn't have the money at the moment. Are you aware of his financial status?

I need more information.

Cynluv: 2yrs dating not 4yrs,we dont live same state,he lives @ ph while I stay in enugu.I think he is financial ok cos he kept on telling me things he bought etc and if he doesn't have d money at d moment why can't he explain dat to me,I will understand cos I love him so much than promising dat he will send it dis week, nxt week and so on bt will never do dat.if I complain he will just say dat he is sorry!.the worst part of it is dat if even I got angry and say that I won't talk to him or pick his calls bt whn he calls me I will nt have d mind to ingoner his calls 4 once.why is dat so.

HisRib:

Dear,

Ask yourself if this is the kind of woman you want to be with and potentially marry? Do you want such a woman to be the mother of your children? Do you think you will be able to be build a stable/happy home with her?

I'm a big believer in second chances. Sometimes people genuinely make mistakes and deserve another chance, but it seems like this woman has cheated on you multiple times and will probably continue to do so. I know you love her, but You really need to take some time to think about everything.

My advice to you: tell her you want to take a break from the relationship. During this break, give yourself some space to think this whole thing through. Don't call/message/see her. This is your time to reflect. Additionally, take this time to enjoy some time with your friends. I also recommend you go on a few dates with other girls. Just take a chance to see what else is out there.

I'm asking you to do this because it will help you regain your confidence.

A man who is cheated on by his woman loses his confidence and becomes insecure. You're probably at a very low point in your life right now because of what this girl has done to you, so you need to regain your self esteem.

After your break. You will be at a better state, emotionally and mentally, to decided whether you want to continue with the relationship or not.

P.S: you sound like a great guy. Please don't allow this woman to abuse you this way. You can do so much better and you deserve better.

I hope you will follow my advice!

Bryt B: Tnx alot 4 d advise dear.u re gud.hw long do u think d break shld be? Cos we ve stayed a mnth without her calling me,i said her 'cos she has bn d one callin thru out dis yr,i pick her calls 2 show i 4gave nd 2 free my mind aswel.i dnt call her esp.dis yr.yet she kept callin almost evry day. we ve seen once dis yr dats 10mnths ago.we might see durin xmas to let her knw my mind.

bigW: Plz I sent u my comment to ur mail,I avent seen any reply,nd am sorry it was so long,plz wuld b hapi if u can advise me thru my mail....tanks in advance

Amy Mar'ins:
I so luv dis thread!

@op, i pray for Solomon's wisdom on u IJN!

Why is life so unfair?! Guys dont apprec8 good gurls and also the oda way round.

@OP, i have a nonchallant attitude n dis has kept my heart safe. But its affected my relationships( not in 1@ d moment). I really want to be vulnerable again; ♓☺w do i start?

2ndly, A̶̲̥̅♏‎​ loosing d interest in wanting to date again. My mind has been on my career; A̶̲̥̅♏‎​ i ok?

3rdly, a friend was arguing with me dat its possible to win a guy's heart, dat has got girls begging for his attention. I just told her i had no time, "working" on being the "one". But is it possible? ♓☺w do gurls "dust" others n b d ONLY one? I just feel a cheat will always be a cheat.

HisRib:

Okay. I have to be very honest with you. This woman is playing the field. She's most likely rotating lots of men. I get the impression she loves male attention and I'm not sure this is the kind of woman you want to have as a serious girlfriend.

But here's my advice to you, frankly tell her how you feel. Tell her you are not interested in friendship, you are looking for a relationship. She told you there are many men wanting to date her, right? Well you tell her, there are many woman in line to date you as well and if she doesn't want to be with you, you are going to move on with your life.

I'm under the impression this chick loves attention, so try to ignore her. Go 3 days without contacting her and please do not go see her. Be a little cold towards her. Don't giver her too much access to you. This girl has you wrapped around her fingers, you need to regain control of the situation.

Honestly speaking, I'm not getting a good feeling about this woman. I really want you to be open to meeting other people because this woman doesn't sound serious.

I hope this helped!

oshyno:

Walahi it helped.

I went 2days without calling. When she called I wud tell her I will call her back n neva did. Guess what, when I now called she told me instanta dat she wants to date me . But something didn't feel right to me. She told me dat she doesn't know if its because xmas is around d corner , dat all d guyz wanting t date her hv gone awol.nowhere to be found. And she said n me too started withdrawing and she felt she was loosing me. Am like nonono somethiin doesn't feel right. Hw u see am.

otikpoko: I cannot remember the last time I posted in this section...

Nice thread, good topic, beautiful replies from the op.

Is it normal for someone to date for over three years without any single quarrel

otikpoko:

Still waiting for your reply...

HisRib:

Hi Dear,

Why has caused you to have a nonchalant attitude? Have you been through a few heartbreaks?

I wouldn't recommend being vulnerable. I say try to become neutral again. Not all men are players, dogs and cheats. Is it possible that your man might make a mistake and cheat on you? Yes, that's very possible. But, as long as it was a one time mistake, you should have nothing to be concerned about.

When you decide to get into a relationship again, just be neutral, don't show too much or too little emotion. Just be neutral! Especially during the beginning stage of the relationship -- the stage when you are still trying to get to know the person.
Open up, but don't open up too much. Once you have a good idea of what kind of person you're dealing with, and you are confident he's a good man, you can start opening up more and showing more emotions.

The best way to stop being nonchalant is by simply changing the way you view men and relationships. Change your thoughts. It all starts in the head. Be understanding of the fact that in life you're going to go through rough stages. You are not the first nor the last person to deal with a heartbreak. These things happen everyday. And it's a risk you have to take when you're on a quest for love. Everything comes with a price, right? You're going to go through bad guys, and then you will finally meet the good ones.

When a person has been through many failed relationships, it's normal that they lose interest in dating. They are afraid it will fail just like the rest. It's great that you are focused on your career, but I would recommend making some time for dating. Be open to meeting new guys and be open to going on dates. The right man is just not going to fall from the sky into your laps. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, so that the man of your dreams can see you.

It is possible to win a guy's heart over many other girls. The best way to do it is by being able to offer him something all those girls can't. I always recommend offering friendship. At the end of the day, that's what is going to set you apart from other women. You have a bond with him that is strong. Your partner should always be someone you consider a friend before anything else. He should be able to feel safe, happy, encouraged and inspired around you. Most women are too focused on giving sex, while sex is great, it's not the thing that will keep him around for a long time. It's not the thing that will make him come home to you every night. He's going to be happy coming home to a woman who genuinely makes him happy.

HisRib:

Sorry, I missed your post.

I believe it's normal to date without having any arguments. Although it's not very common, it's very possible. I know many couples who rarely have arguments. It all depends of the personality each individual carries. That's what causes the clash in relationships.

Another thing that creates a lot of problems is communication. If two people communicate well, there are rarely ever any issues.

likeriversflow: Need Help

Theres this guy and Ive known him for 8 years now (since high school) but we only started spending time together 1 year ago. When we started hanging out it was just with our group of friends and we all became close, now we have been dating for 3 months. The problem is that one of his friends also likes me and a couple of years ago I went on 1 date with his friend, but it never got past that (nothing happened, just a kiss). I don't like his friend, I like him but every time we are together with our friends, his friend always flirts with me when he's not around and tells me how pretty I am. I am thinking of breaking up with him because his friend is making me feel very uncomfortable, but I really like him and things are going great. What should I do?

SaturnGreed: It has been 3 months since i broke up with my girlfriend. I am wondering how i can get over this feeling of missing her. I tried to go out and be more social but it just doesn't work. My friends are suggesting to try a dating site but i don't think its for me. Its just so lonely that i want to start dating again. I tried dating sites like http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/malaysian-cupid/ and i hope it ends well.

Contumely: Thanks @ OP, pls advise


I met a girl and we became friends. I tested her in few ways and found out she has a stellar personality. At a stage she wanted me to define what I wanted from her or rather what we were into ---- dating, or just friends. I told her I could never agree to anything serious relationship now because am still a student and wouldn't want to waste anyone's time.

=
To cut to the chase, we are very close now and discuss virtually everything including sex. I have come to love her and she too does. I want to keep her,maybe not as wife, cos I may not be ready when she may need to get married, she is 22, a year younger than me and her younger sis just got married.
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Given the above, is it wise to involve sex with her considering that I want to maybe be friends with her even after our separate marriages later in life.