Sisikill:

And didn't they look so happy and free spirited back then compared to how tightly wound up they are today?

Why is wanting happy and free spirited suddenly wrong?

yes they were. it' just the way people view things now which is because things were different then from what we have now.

You ladies have your kind of "deep friendship" which involves spending time alone with yourselves, handling each other, sitting on each other, hugging each other, crying with each other and all that and that is cool because you're generally more emotional than we are. We men have our own sense of deep friendship which involves ordering pizza, watching a game together, going to the Chinese restaurant down the street to get something to eat while talking about current girls we're dating, playing basketball/soccer/football together, going to the club together and all that. That is just what we do. We can go to the movies together as long as it's a really good movie like Batman, saying "I love you" is a red flag unless he is your dad or maybe brother and/or he did something extraordinary but nevertheless, it shouldn't be said with emotion like you'd say to a girl, it is should just be said.

StephenP:

You ladies have your kind of "deep friendship" which involves spending time alone with yourselves, handling each other, sitting on each other, hugging each other, crying with each other and all that and that is cool because you're generally more emotional than we are. We men have our own sense of deep friendship which involves ordering pizza, watching a game together, going to the Chinese restaurant down the street to get something to eat while talking about current girls we're dating, playing basketball/soccer/football together, going to the club together and all that. That is just what we do. We can go to the movies together as long as it's a really good movie like Batman, saying "I love you" is a red flag unless he is your dad or maybe brother and/or he did something extraordinary but nevertheless, it shouldn't be said with emotion like you'D say to a girl, it is should just be said.

well said

StephenP:

You ladies have your kind of "deep friendship" which involves spending time alone with yourselves, handling each other, sitting on each other, hugging each other, crying with each other and all that and that is cool because you're generally more emotional than we are. We men have our own sense of deep friendship which involves ordering pizza, watching a game together, going to the Chinese restaurant down the street to get something to eat while talking about current girls we're dating, playing basketball/soccer/football together, going to the club together and all that. That is just what we do. We can go to the movies together as long as it's a really good movie like Batman, saying "I love you" is a red flag unless he is your dad or maybe brother and/or he did something extraordinary but nevertheless, it shouldn't be said with emotion like you'D say to a girl, it is should just be said.

Oka whatever. . . . . that whole highlighted statement is just generalizing. As i said before it depends on the maturity and bond of the men involved.

@Onyinye do you expect guys to do the higlighted among themselves too

OluwaKANYE:

yes they were. it' just the way people view things now which is because things were different then from what we have now.

People tend to forget there was a gay "coming out" period in the 70s or 80s, when the gay lifestyle was officially recognized by law.

About that same time, homosexuality was removed from the list of psychiatric disorders.

All these went a long way towards enshrining the gay lifestyle [coupled with public awareness of gay mannerisms], in western culture today.

onyinye2:

Oka whatever. . . . . that whole highlighted statement is just generalizing. As i said before it depends on the maturity and bond of the men involved.

Well, I did say "generally" that's what happens. Level of maturity? I don't think so. Bond? Yes. They love each other so much that they want to get married in California. Let me say again, I've got nothing against gay people.

A quotes from a book called Men's Friendship

The opportunities to get close to another man, to share and talk about their feelings, are not available after a certain age. The concern about being perceived as gay is one of the major complications of socializing one on one, many straight men acknowledge.

Before women were considered men's equals, some gender historians say, men routinely confided in and sought advice from one another in ways they did not do with women, even their wives.

Then, these scholars say, two things changed during the last century: an increased public awareness of homosexuality created a stigma around male intimacy, and at the same time women began encroaching on traditionally male spheres, causing men to become more defensive about notions of masculinity."

Awwww, poor guys! Well know this now. . .  You don't have to be defensive anymore. I say call up your bromantic partner, go out to dinner in a fancy restaurant and when the waiter asks what you'd like to drink, instead of say beer or asking for the hardest liqour they have. . . say "I'll have some wine, please"  

StephenP:

Well, I did say "generally" that's what happens. Level of maturity? I don't think so. Bond? Yes. They love each other so much that they want to get married in California.

Oka i have male friends in which i have known my whole lives. The four of us are family and like sometimes i have heard one of them tell the other "i love you" and it was just that. They are not gay or "sweet" for doing so. They are family.

OluwaKANYE:

@Onyinye   do you expect guys to do the higlighted among themselves too

Young man. . . . please quote me where i said that because i don't believe i did.

onyinye2:

Oka i have male friends in which i have known my whole lives. The four of us are family and like sometimes i have heard one of them tell the other "i love you" and it was just that. They are not gay or "sweet" for doing so. They are family.

Yeah, I guess that's cool.

Sisikill:

Awwww, poor guys! Well know this now. . .  You don't have to be defensive anymore. I say call up your bromantic partner, go out to dinner in a fancy restaurant and when the waiter asks what you'D like to drink, instead of say beer or asking for the hardest liqour they have. . . say "I'll have some wine, please"  

LOL it's funny cause I ask for just water or soda.

OluwaKANYE:

yes they were. it' just the way people view things now which is because things were different then from what we have now.

Aaah! I see being viewed as gay automatically makes one gay, ko?

In that case, I'm sorry oh. . . I won't push Bromance anymore.

StephenP:

You ladies have your kind of "deep friendship" which involves spending time alone with yourselves, handling each other, sitting on each other, hugging each other, crying with each other and all that and that is cool because you're generally more emotional than we are. We men have our own sense of deep friendship which involves ordering pizza, watching a game together, going to the Chinese restaurant down the street to get something to eat while talking about current girls we're dating, playing basketball/soccer/football together, going to the club together and all that. That is just what we do. We can go to the movies together as long as it's a really good movie like Batman, saying "I love you" is a red flag unless he is your dad or maybe brother and/or he did something extraordinary but nevertheless, it shouldn't be said with emotion like you'D say to a girl, it is should just be said.

ROTFLMAOPIMP. . .  Stephen, I can't stop laughing! Is that what you guys think we do? Cry and handle each other? I don't know what to say right now. . . maybe it's because I have questions. So are we crying because we're being fondled or are we fondled because we were crying?    

Sisikill:

ROTFLMAOPIMP. . .  Stephen, I can't stop laughing! Is that what you guys think we do? Cry and handle each other? I don't know what to say right now. . . maybe it's because I have questions. So are we crying because we're being fondled or are we fondled because we were crying?    

You are really something. . . sisi But yeah i have friends who are women and i have never been fondled or the fondlier so im wondering where this came from.

onyinye2:

Oka i have male friends in which i have known my whole lives. The four of us are family and like sometimes i have heard one of them tell the other "i love you" and it was just that. They are not gay or "sweet" for doing so. They are family.

Please keep telling them for me!!

I don't get it, I just don't get it. . . Why is it so hard to understand?

StephenP:


LOL it's funny cause I ask for just water or soda.

Why is it because you don't drink at all or because you think asking for wine will make you come off as. . . a li'l fruity? 

Sisikill:

Please keep telling them for me!! I don't get it, I just don't get it. . . Why is it so hard to understand?

I guess you know how guys love to be seen as tough and hard and all that jive. So they don't want anything to some how "damage" that image. I truly think it is just childish and what have you. Maybe because i know the difference of a guy who loves another guy and a guy who is in love with another guy.

onyinye2:

You are really something. . . sisi But yeah i have friends who are women and i have never been fondled or the fondlier so im wondering where this came from.

You do NOT want to know what goes on in these men's heads. They believe all women should be lesbians and all men are should be straight, the fact that it makes no sense, does not matter. This is why they imagine us taking showers together, handling each other, lying in bed together and every other lesbian fantasy they can come up with

Sisikill:

You do NOT want to know what goes on in these men's heads. T[b]hey believe all women should be lesbians and all men are should be straight[/b], the fact that it makes no sense, does not matter. This is why they imagine us taking showers together, handling each other, lying in bed together and every other lesbian fantasy they can come up with

of course, have you asked yourself why lesbianism is easily overlooked and even accepted unlike gayism

Sisikill:

Why is it because you don't drink at all or because you think asking for wine will make you come off as. . . a li'l fruity? 

LOL I just don't drink at all . . . I know that's hard to believe but that's what it is.

Sisikill:

ROTFLMAOPIMP. . .  Stephen, I can't stop laughing! Is that what you guys think we do? Cry and handle each other? I don't know what to say right now. . . maybe it's because I have questions. So are we crying because we're being fondled or are we fondled because we were crying?    

I don't know, you tell me . . . you have to admit though you ladies cry for no reason, then when one start crying, another joins, then another joins soon every woman in the movie theater is crying.

Sisikill:

You do NOT want to know what goes on in these men's heads. They believe all women should be lesbians and all men are should be straight, the fact that it makes no sense, does not matter. This is why they imagine us taking showers together, handling each other, lying in bed together and every other lesbian fantasy they can come up with

Dang . . . I didn't mean handling in that sense _{but I won't mind though LOL} I guess that handling thing came out wrong.

Lord Are we baptizing GAY Practice with a new name BROMANCE.
 The last time I took a guy out for a dinner was when I'm trying to hook up with his sister.

OluwaKANYE:

of course, have you asked yourself why lesbianism is easily overlooked and even accepted unlike gayism

Because of double standards.

3viso:

Lord Are we baptizing GAY Practice with a new name BROMANCE.
 The last time I took a guy out for a dinner was when I'm trying to hook up with his sister.

That is truly foul.

I broke out laughing when I saw this one.  No doubt I understand what you are saying and I am sure a lot of other men do too, but I am not sure you are going to get many truthful responses.  I said that because of the language.  In the way this is written, the language is leaning to the homosexual side, even by Nigerian standards.  

Moremi, I attended an all boys boarding school.  When we see the tendencies you just described, either on school grounds or out in town we dont hesitate to issue warning to the parties observed in those clumsy entwines. If they desist they are asking for trouble big time! This is nothing but homosexuality tendencies and they get beaten and harrassed out of the dormitories and the school. The few ones that went through this ended up transferring to another school.

Guys do fraternalize.  It is healthy for gender bonding but it is also a natural instinct in us that happens in stages. It cannot be equated with the manner in which females bond.  If a boy has homosexuality, it will become apparent in the teenage years in the way he expresses emotions and sexuality.  What you described here is homosexuality, not boys fraternity.  

Stage 1:

Boyhood playmate - It starts when the boys are observed hanging together rolling marbles on the pavement, playing ludo on the porch, kicking soccer balls up and down the street or racing against one another with their spoked wheels heading on an errand to the market or the store. When you see them together, one with a catapult hanging from his pocket and the other with pocket full of stones, you can bet pretty soon some animal is going to end up t'e'r'r"o'r.i-zed or dead.  They compete on who can hit target and get a kill. Leave them alone, they are practicing how to hunt and in few years they will need to apply that skill in some other aspect of social interaction.

Stage 2:

Teenage Company - Guy to guy share of interests and secrets. Plans on breaking laws and violating rules are strategized and executed together. Together they lay claim to a territorial boundary and in a designated area within their community, this is the bully zone and other teenagers and their brothers must bow down to authority when in this zone. Their refusal to acknowledge the seemingly political control will be interpreted as a challenge and will lead to a physical confrontation. This is show off time for the girls; a parade of aggression and manhood, power and control. They compete on who can get what girl and lay with her. They appear together at parties.  When they start dating, they pick girls in the neighborhood that are equally close and when you see the guys you see their girls also. This is a transforming stage.

Stage 3:

Manhood stage - More independent, college life and new interests has groomed him for a new outlook on life. Still in touch with friend/s but at a distance. New girlfriend and all into her, she is all that matters and he wants to please her but suspicious of her smothering affections and reluctant to completely bond with her but at the same time doesn't want to lose her, she is good, makes him feel whole and responsible. New interests, new friendships.  Circle of friendships have widened and interaction with them all demand time. New job, new assignments, new acquaintances, gradually loose friends and make new ones. This is the point where the man to man bonding gives way to man to woman bonding.  

Stage 4:

Family - Married and raising family.  Family, Job and community become primary concern. New acquaintances, family friends, lifelong bondings develop. Start to witness in his children the same cycle and stages in life that he has gone through and it becomes intolerable to accept.

onyinye2:

Because of double standards.
That is truly foul.

then i think the brouhaha should be more on lesbianism than on gayism

OluwaKANYE:

then i think the brouhaha should be more on lesbianism and not gayism

Seriously what do you think women do when guys are not around? Because you seem to be very delusioned about it.

Bia onyinye kedu ihe idere na sig. gi?

Back to topic
      That's how gay practice starts _{imaging myself spending time with a fellow man calling it what?}

Examples of Celebrities in Bromance

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
George Clooney and Brad Pitt
Matt Damon, George Clooney, Don cheadle and Brad Pitt
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaugn, Ben Stiller
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez
Justin Timberlake and Trace Ayala,

Can anyone deny their Manliness? I think not!

I guess that's why it's easier for them to embrace their Bromance.  God! There is just something so freaking sexy about a man who is so confident in his manhood, he has no problem being free with his guy friends


PS
Please exclude Justine Timberlake from the umbrella of manliness.

onyinye2:

Seriously what do you think women do when guys are not around? Because you seem to be very delusioned about it.

whatever you do when guys are not around can't be compared to what guys do when the ladies are out of sight, thats simply gay

3viso:

Bia onyinye kedu ihe idere na sig. gi?

Back to topic
      That's how gay practice starts _{imaging myself spending time with a fellow man calling it what?}

My signature means:

God foisted one problem on the Igbo, and

the Igbo foisted another nine onto themselves.

OluwaKANYE:

whatever you do when guys are not around can't be compared to what guys do when the ladies are out of sight, thats simply gay

My brotha please tell me what you think women do when you so called "m.e.n" are not around?

Sisikill:


I guess that's why it's easier for them to embrace their Bromance.  God! There is just something so freaking sexy about a man who is so confident in his manhood, he has no problem being free with his guy friends

 But not to the extent of telling a fellow guy I love you.

i see nothing bad in telling a guy "i love you" depending on how, where and when you express it

@ Onyinye you know all the stuffs women talk about, quick question- i know lots of women don't have any problem being naked when with their fellow women, what do think it means when guys are naked together

OluwaKANYE:

@ Onyinye you know all the stuffs women talk about, quick question- i know lots of women don't have any problem being naked when with their fellow women, what do think it means when guys are naked together

You said "lots" not "all". And im guessing those "lots" is probably a "few". And no i don't know "all the stuffs women talk about". Elaborate.

StephenP:

LOL I just don't drink at all . . . I know that's hard to believe but that's what it is.

I don't know, you tell me . . . you have to admit though you ladies cry for no reason, then when one start crying, another joins, then another joins soon every woman in the movie theater is crying.

Dang . . . I didn't mean handling in that sense _{but I won't mind though LOL} I guess that handling thing came out wrong.

I believe you, I don't drink either. The closest I've come to anything that looks remotely alcoholic is a virgin daiquri and you should see the looks I get. LOL

I don't know how to counter this idea you guys have of women? So what. . . you think the moment there are more than two of us in one place, we just start undressing for handling and cry? LMOA! Have I said how much I loooove the way you guys think!!!  

OluwaKANYE:

of course, have you asked yourself why lesbianism is easily overlooked and even accepted unlike gayism

Lol! Jeebus! This is too much! If the women are lesbians and the guys are straight, guess who loses out? Yep, that's right you guys do. . . how do you like them apples?  

Sisikill:

Examples of Celebrities in Bromance

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
George Clooney and Brad Pitt
Matt Damon, George Clooney, Don cheadle and Brad Pitt
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaugn, Ben Stiller
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez
Justin Timberlake and Trace Ayala,

Can anyone deny their Manliness? I think not!

I guess that's why it's easier for them to embrace their Bromance.  God! There is just something so freaking sexy about a man who is so confident in his manhood, he has no problem being free with his guy friends


PS
Please exclude Justine Timberlake from the umbrella of manliness.

Hollywood actually isnt a good point of reference.

Anyone can come out of the closet anytime.

Note: I'm not saying any of the above people are gay.

In any case, all I'm saying here is friendship doesnt equal bromance.


We are all Nigerians here. (or at least most of us are).

How would you feel if your dad or brother constantly holds hands with other guys most of the time, and tells them I love you?

I mean, lets not go overboard with this matter. I love you isnt the alpha and omega of life. Its important, yes, but I personally dont need to hear it every minute of the day, for example.

onyinye2:

My signature means:

God foisted one problem on the Igbo, and

the Igbo foisted another nine onto themselves.

  Please come in details what we forced on ourselves?