Entchidodo: Fantastic Potential is in a guy who owns a Camry and whose Birthday is today.....Ichidodo's Birthday....

Ephemmm:



I understand your point here, but ladies have to bear it in their minds that men are finding it more difficult to earn a living nowadays. As a man, I have found a lady who have done that for me too especially as a fresh graduate without any job. The matter was so worse to the extent that I always go to sites then looking for blocks to carry upstairs in other to find money to apply for some jobs, but without any job coming forth.

In short, this ladies left all of a sudden, I was devastated and all my dreams with her died, but life goes on: it pains me to the extent that for over three years I avoid any other relationship and face my life squarely.

But all glory be to God Almighty who has changed my life for better. My work is Ok: my life becomes more meaningful, and my education is still in progress: but it alwlays pains me that she laboured but refused to reap what she has shown.

I met her by chance sometimes ago, and I offered her financial help willingly. She appreciated it but wept cos I made her to understand that a megre help like this was not my plan for her.

Ladies be more patient with guys please.

flyca: OP, Personal Experience.

Sometime ago, I started "seeing" one of my sister's old time classmate, an Architect from a Federal University, graduated with a good result and have a Master's degree, and with two year experience too. These were the sketchy details I knew about him before we started dating. So yes!, he has potentials.

Ok. Two months into the r/ship, I noticed this guy was broke, broke with the necessities of basic leaving. I started becoming worried. I lived in a city two hours from his, but he couldn't afford t-fare (not time) once in a week or two to come and see me. Calls nko?, na me dey call most times. Ok o. I was still on it.

Once, I went to his office see him, by the time I set out by 5pm back to my city, I drank a bottle of coke. Even the taxi fare to the park, he didn't give me. Hmmmmm. No need to say, I was "down". Another day, I went back to his residence to visit him on a Sunday o, I nearly fainted at what I saw. His room in the family house even had a leaky roof

The one that broke the Carmel's back, was the day he asked me to transfer some call credit to his phone. At this time, I had completely lost grip!

So am I a gold-digger? Am I impatient? I'm I unrealistic or simply unreasonable? I leave the answers to you.

As much as having potentials is good, if its not translated into financial ability(lack of better adjectives), there is no need to bring out a lady from her father's house to starve her.

kadas01: I see a guy with "potential" as that man who has a "vision" and he is working hard to truly "achieve" his "dreams"; no matter the challenge(s)/difficulties he has to undergo!!


A guy with "true potential" would never allow that "dream" of his to "die" inside of him!!

Odunharry:
Happy birthday Ichidodo...

ihedinobi2:
That your expectations were disappointed does not make you a gold-digger or anything like that. The question is what he was doing about his situation and/or what he was willing to do about his situation. Men have risen out of worse circumstances to write a totally opposite story. So it's a question of whether he was a worthwhile investment for you to make or not. If he was heading somewhere and was only coming along slowly and you couldn't wait then that's your choice. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you not the type of person a man should trust when the storms blow.

ihedinobi2:

2. A woman is a terrible asset to a man. In the Bible it is said that one will chase a thousand but two will chase ten thousand. The presence of a woman in a man's life can boost him in the most amazing ways. A man can take a lot of things and endure a lot of things as long as he can count on the woman he has chosen to trust with his life.

thorpido: A guy with potential is a guy who has earned a certificate or a skill and has started putting it to work.

However,potential is not really what ladies want but 'kinetic'.
They want you to have 'that' job and be earning from it or that skill and the returns are coming in.

flyca: OP, Personal Experience.

Sometime ago, I started "seeing" one of my sister's old time classmate, an Architect from a Federal University, graduated with a good result and have a Master's degree, and with two year experience too. These were the sketchy details I knew about him before we started dating. So yes!, he has potentials.

Ok. Two months into the r/ship, I noticed this guy was broke, broke with the necessities of basic leaving. I started becoming worried. I lived in a city two hours from his, but he couldn't afford t-fare (not time) once in a week or two to come and see me. Calls nko?, na me dey call most times. Ok o. I was still on it.

Once, I went to his office see him, by the time I set out by 5pm back to my city, I drank a bottle of coke. Even the taxi fare to the park, he didn't give me. Hmmmmm. No need to say, I was "down". Another day, I went back to his residence to visit him on a Sunday o, I nearly fainted at what I saw. His room in the family house even had a leaky roof

The one that broke the Carmel's back, was the day he asked me to transfer some call credit to his phone. At this time, I had completely lost grip!

So am I a gold-digger? Am I impatient? I'm I unrealistic or simply unreasonable? I leave the answers to you.

As much as having potentials is good, if its not translated into financial ability(lack of better adjectives), there is no need to bring out a lady from her father's house to starve her.

chaircover: Nashville your friends stroy is a very sad one.

Sometimes marriage actually improves the "potentials" of BOTH parties and marriage is the catalsyst that actually opens doors to success. 2 heads is better than one and when you know that someone has your back, supports you, prays for you, belives in you, advises you, encourages you and the like, then you are more confident to go out there and give it all you have.

Today many Husbands and Wives are enjoying the priviledges of their in-laws & not their own potentials; Especially husbands, Many husbands today are working in places where their in-laws knew someone who know someone. So really their " reaching their potential" today was as a result of someone else giving them a helping hand.

Yes a lazy man with grandiose dreams needs to be run away from with speed, but generally speaking most people want to make it in life, its just that they dont have the oppourtunities and may need a helping hand especually in the envionment that we come from where jobs are few and unsecured small bank loans are not very easy to get if at all.

If Nashvilles friend had someone who could offer him a good job, wouldnt he suddenly be a man with potential?

fruqsy:
correct!
God bless you with a potential guy...make sure you stand by him o,even if he decides to start from frying akara...

impactz: a man that Knows WHERE and WAHT HE Wans to do... but thats not enough if you are not ready to take a step...

papiforreal:

The first rime i heard about broke architects.

DaWorshiper:
I like you.

cole265: The problem with some ladies is that they want to eat their cake and still have it. Some ladies like the one in this story knows what she wants and she went for it. She wanted a man that is independent in thoughts and free in the mind. A man who do not compromise bc of family, friends or love to achieve...such the kind of men that makes it in life anyway. (such ladies don't complain of less attention from the man; they are very understanding) on the other hand, some ladies want just the kind of man as dis ribbed in this story. a man that is simple and easy going, religious, homely and "caring" in the sense that they touch, kiss, smoosh gently and tenderly all the time. Of course such men don't have the drive to make it in life (especially in a place like Nigeria) even when the opportunity knocks, they are too shy or to afraid to take it up bc in most cases it might involve keeping late nights, travelling for long or in some instances living apart from their spouse initially or along the line. These type of men are prefared by some ladies even if they don't make it in life.
But problems starts when a lady wants a man who has potentials to make it in life as well as the same qualities as in the second kind of man(especially when they are both self starters).
I hope my long story answers your questions

flyca:

You are judging me. Wrongly! Gosh? Why would he even ask me for airtime knowing fully well I was a young graduate, didn't have a job at that time and was completely dependent on my parents? I didn't ask him to be "super-rich", or give me anything. I was only asking that with that CV I printed earlier, he ought to have been self-sufficient. He even told me he was in debt!

kaboninc:

I've seen someone who is also a realist like me and I must say I love every word here. In respect to the aim of this thread/discussion, the above observation to me is a very important point every woman must note.

Two wrongs have never and will never make a right; every man has a potential and in fact everybody has a potential. Its one thing to be determined and another not to; a good woman (who is also a good leader) should have the skill to spot a potential guy and instead of nagging or looking for El Dorado, she becomes determined to make that dude's dream a reality. Same applies to a man meeting a woman with potential. No one man can be responsible for his successes; others are involved. As a lady (and also a man) the question is: are you an engine or a passenger?

cococandy:

Oh you didn't read about that guy that's driving a hummer from frying akara?

chaircover: Nashville your friends stroy is a very sad one.

Sometimes marriage actually improves the "potentials" of BOTH parties and marriage is the catalsyst that actually opens doors to success. 2 heads is better than one and when you know that someone has your back, supports you, prays for you, belives in you, advises you, encourages you and the like, then you are more confident to go out there and give it all you have.

Today many Husbands and Wives are enjoying the priviledges of their in-laws & not their own potentials; Especially husbands, Many husbands today are working in places where their in-laws knew someone who know someone. So really their " reaching their potential" today was as a result of someone else giving them a helping hand.

Yes a lazy man with grandiose dreams needs to be run away from with speed, but generally speaking most people want to make it in life, its just that they dont have the oppourtunities and may need a helping hand especually in the envionment that we come from where jobs are few and unsecured small bank loans are not very easy to get if at all.

If Nashvilles friend had someone who could offer him a good job, wouldnt he suddenly be a man with potential?

pickabeau1:

Yes now..ladies no dey dull reach that side