There's nothing more attractive than intelligence and ambition. An individual who has no vision and no set goals is just as aimless as a next lazy person - which is fine if that's what you're about. You can lack the ambition to keep yourself fed and the universe will continue to spin around as usual.

We all search for traits important to us in a life partner. It's nothing new.

get one today!

TV01: ...sup' Nash,

I'm a big believer in men taking responsibility.


How did it get to "introduction" without him being sure she was committed?

Female hypergamy in full view. The old "just go with your heart", even if it means dumping him at the altar. Men should know themselves and who they want to wife. She was never really committed as such, just keeping her options open.

In fact, he was probably down the pecking order and someone higher up started to come through for her - if she didn't actually use him to ginger a/the senior boyfriend along .

The best revenge?. Get successful, get a better woman. He should be less bothered about losing her. If he doesn't step up, his chances of making a great match will increasingly diminish.

Sorry eh! Life is tough. No change, no time. Quit yourself like a man.


TV

I was waiting for someone to use that word - Hypergamy. It is the definitive answer to all things female, and once a man understands this, his life is much easier.
Also this issue of revenge, comeuppance e.t.c. is so 60s lol. I learned early that life gives no quarters, and none should be asked. That biotch Karma, she died.

A man who accept Christ as his personal lord and Savior
A man who see problem and take it as challenges
A man who family,friend,parent,wife,children will mock on every aspect and tell the the way u are seeing it is different from the way am seeing it.
A man who dwell in the house and abide to his commandment.

ihedinobi2:
Actually I did not judge you at all. I made a conditional statement, you know, "if...then..." That kind of statement.

As for self-sufficiency, think about this: what would you do if some years into your marriage to a wildly successful man the economy changed drastically in such a manner that in a very short time a man's entire resource base is wiped out? Would your man still be self-sufficient? What would you do then?

Such things can and do happen, I assure you. You don't have to look far to find them happening. War can wipe out whole resource bases and you cannot always get out in time or even stop the war yourself. Fast innovations wipe out whole professions and render skills very surprisingly obsolete. Natural disasters and unforeseeable accidents destroy resource bases too. People can be riding a wave of great success one minute and the next they're on a beach so hot and dry and at such low tide that you'd think you're in a desert which you very well might be anyway. What would you do then?

Why should he ask you for credits? Well, if you were going to be his partner in winning at the game of life, was it totally out of place that he should pass the ball to you sometimes?

No need going back and forth on this. Did you read the part where I said, I did most of the calling? See, he/you can spend a lifetime justifying in actions and inactions. Afterall, every human action, good or bad is justifiable. I have helped a lot of friends in the past follow their dreams, set priorities right and all that. The little we stayed together, he could even testify to how much value I was able to add to his life. However, I cannot trust him enough with my future.

Of course "falling" is expected in life's venture. I'm not afraid of falling but I'm afraid of anyone who will not rise. I can only be with the someone I trust that if he falls, I am confident he knows what to do to get back to his feet. Otherwise, I'm so sorry.

BTW, thanks for your special interest in me. You may sheath your sword now.

papiforreal:

The first rime i heard about broke architects.

hahahaha most architects are broke like most lawyers bro

YourCoffin: Here in Niaja, how potential a guy is, is closely tied to the number of digits in his bank statement. If a guy has more than ten million written on it, he has an overdose of potential. It doesn't matter what he did or doing or didn't do to get the money or if the money is actually his. I'm sure that if your friend had shown the lady a bank statement with ten million written on it, she would have given birth to their third child by now .

LMAO!

Potential as we all know is relative and it’s almost impossible to arrive at an acceptable baseline to be used when determining if a love prospect is what the effort

First and foremost, we need to understand us human beings are diverse with diverse needs. Needs and/or wants are two important aspect of relationships which are relatively dynamic and of course expected to change throughout the development phase.

Potential is not always going to transform into expected results so why then should people plan their lives around potentials when there is absolutely no guarantee that the expected result will ever be achieved.

Young adults going into relationships ought to be defining and discussing what’s important to them before embarking on such journeys. Potentials being broad should be divided into key manageable attributes such as:
Integrity
Hardworking
Religious
Intelligent
Supportive
Mature
that can then be easily measured at any given time

Lastly, marriage/relationship is a collective responsibility of the 2 people involved.

lols

fruqsy:
lols...sometimes i just feel some guys come to this world to suffer...nobody wants a broke dude again.

flyca:

No need going back and forth on this. He can spend a lifetime justifying in actions and inactions. Afterall, every human action, good or bad is justifiable. I have helped a lot of friends in the past follow their dreams, set priorities right and all that. The little we stayed together, he could even testify to how much value I was able to add to his life. However, I cannot trust him enough with my future.

Of course "falling" is expected in life's venture. I can only be with the person I trust that are with someone and he falls, you know he knows what to do to get back to his feet. Otherwise, I'm so sorry.

BTW, thanks for your special interest in me. You may sheath your sword now.

Er, I didn't think we were fighting just now. I just thought your questions were a good opportunity to study some nagging assumptions and suppositions about the whole matter. Anyway, thanks for your time as well.

For the record though, offering advice and guidance and opinion are not even remotely the same as putting your faith in a man, that is, in one way of speaking, bending your back to the job at hand. Any spectator can offer good advice. But only your teammate really supports you. Your fans may share some of the embarrassment, some of the glory and whatnot, but your teammates are the ones who did it all with you, who kept you fighting when you grew so weary and hopeless that you would have just laid down your sword and had it over with. They're the ones that really count. Because advice and applause go only so far.

And you do have a strong point about the establishment of a track record. History does a lot of good things for people who are dealing with life. But, as with everything else, history also does hold people down. People have failed to recover from their falls because the shock of change was too great. There are also cases where the environment changed so much that starting over requires throwing history away and looking at everything with fresh eyes - which is pretty much what the starter is also doing. All in all, ready-made is a risk like under-construction and sometimes either is a worse risk. It all depends on you and the particular person that you are dealing with.


Anyway, thanks for discussing. Have a very good day.

EnlightenedSoul: There's nothing more attractive than intelligence and ambition. An individual who has no vision and no set goals is just as aimless as a next lazy person - which is fine if that's what you're about. You can lack the ambition to keep yourself fed and the universe will continue to spin around as usual.

We all search for traits important to us in a life partner. It's nothing new.

forthrightness and simple

I wonder why the other ladies are remiss to accept this

zheroes: hahahaha most architects are broke like most lawyers bro

hahahaha.. I know many lawyers are broke... But architct? I seriously doubt it, m y friends were making dope cash right from school.

careema:

Not really that. A man that aspires to be great, not someone that goes with the flow. it sometimes doesnt work out, like not all hardworking people are rich but at least you know the guy made an effort. some people are hardworking but still dont have potentials. i broke up with my ex because he told me he cant pursue his dream anymore. for goodness, who are we without our dreams?

There's a difference between Potential and Dreams and Visions and Purpose.

Potential is having a Latent ability or gift... But it remains potent till its been Discovered...I agree with you though...

A guy with focus who knows his priorities for progress and success.
He must have proven skills and talents and explore all the opportunities and possibilities of the potentials.
He must develop his potentials, because potentials determine the prospects of success in life.
He must believe and observe the rule that honesty is the best policy.

At 21, a guy with potential must have defined his focus occupationally and professionally.
He must be a go–getter
: a person who works very hard and who wants very much to succeed.

Most girls and women want to marry a go-getter. And not a sponger.

flyca:

Did you really go through the CV I printed up there? The guy already had already finished his master's and worked for two years? Did you see that? I wasn't asking him to be "to rich" or to give me anything, I was only asking that he should have been self-sufficient!

sister you just dont know the burden and liabilty the guy has to cater fo

A guy with potential is a man that Turns his dreams into achievable results in no time ..... or a guy that his actions brings success and Enthusiastic for success at all times.

selfless person
kind
respectful
joyful
intelligent
talented
amazing
easygoing
agreeable
fancy
grungy
rockstar.
earthy
hippie.
drinker
peaceful
edm lover
raver
rocker

flyca:

No need going back and forth on this. He can spend a lifetime justifying in actions and inactions. Afterall, every human action, good or bad is justifiable. I have helped a lot of friends in the past follow their dreams, set priorities right and all that. The little we stayed together, he could even testify to how much value I was able to add to his life. However, I cannot trust him enough with my future.

Of course "falling" is expected in life's venture. I'm not afraid of falling but I'm afraid of anyone who will not rise. I can only be with the person I trust that are with someone and he falls, you know he knows what to do to get back to his feet. Otherwise, I'm so sorry.

BTW, thanks for your special interest in me. You may sheath your sword now.

Acidosis: "If you meet a man or a woman who can’t communicate his/her career goals and/or his/her goals are vague (e.g. “My goal is to be a millionaire in 5 years), he/she may lack potential.
A man with potential knows how to turn his skills into a profit. Whether he’s skilled at fixing cars or writing an essay, he knows how to accrue revenue from his skills."

I agree with you that a person who cannot communicate his/her goals clearly may lack potentials
We should also be cautious of those' talk talk no productivity-mobility but no action' guys, they can spend the whole day telling you how they are going to register ten companies in partnership with their pal in the US and how the technology will revolutionalize things, all na lie.

pickabeau1:

Why do you think he is stereotyping ladies
If you have read most of the comments here by the ladies so far it's about steady great job, money for transportation or recharge cards, or trading from Lagos to Aba.

It's good to be factual so that guys know the score and ginger themselves to face the task and realities

Money is the game..Dont hate that game

What is potential to you

Remember that not all potential is actualized


Also remember that rich dude one married may fall on hard times or die premature

Once again..what Is potential to you

Well Well Maybe Nigerian ladies will stop chasing money or equating potential to money the day Nigerian men have more to offer than money.

If a lady believes all men are cheats, etc. she should by all means look for a rich or potentially rich guy to marry.

Like a friend of mine (a guy) would say, even if a rich husband hates you, he will buy you a car, his name will give you connection to grow your own business, will get people to do stuffs for you etc. not because he loves you but to maintain his status.

It is better to cry in a BMW than to cry in a keke.

If one must eat frog, he must eat the one that has egg

ihedinobi2:
For the record though, offering advice and guidance and opinion are not even remotely the same as putting your faith in a man, that is, in one way of speaking, bending your back to the job at hand. Any spectator can offer good advice. But only your teammate really supports you. Your fans may share some of the embarrassment, some of the glory and whatnot, but your teammates are the ones who did it all with you, who kept you fighting when you grew so weary and hopeless that you would have just laid down your sword and had it over with. They're the ones that really count. Because advice and applause go only so far.

Anyway, thanks for discussing. Have a very good day.

At the bold part, what kind of person do we look at as a teammate? There are serious issues a guy has to look at finding a partner.

evrybody is sayin d same tin..potential leading to sucess,turnin nothing to sometin blaa blaa blaa
....but d fact remains wc ppu 4get is dt its only God who turn dt potential into achievable result.
So many ppu started exactly d way Dangote started his biz.some might even av better Idea and evrytin u can tink of but we dont hear dier name as at tday asyde Dangote.4 example..d man who borrowed dangote loan to start his biz..is he as successful as dangote.d ans is NOPE.
Moral of d story its Only God's will dt polish potential into success
U can av all d potential in dis world and still remain PENURY wyle some1 witout potential controls fortune
,vice versa.its God's will

Hypergamy......

It's really a tough world for men... for some women, all they gotta do is have a fine face and some good azzzz.... funny world

... chai

Yungwizzzy: A guy who smoke weed

Shinatu:
I agree with you that a person who cannot communicate his/her goals clearly may lack potentials

I seriously disagree with you on this. Everyone is born with a potential. Problem could be identifying and communicating that potential and working towards making it a reality.

saintgwizard: To the ladies: A guy with potential is one with a good Job or. business and is evident that the way he is going, he stands a good chance of turning out very big in life. Eg, A fresh graduate working as a manager with a multinaational coy.

To the guys: A guy with potential is one who has good visions for his life. He may or may not achieve those visions. Eg a First class graaduate teaching in a community secondary hoping to land a job with NLNG some day.

In summation, I don't really blame the ladies, why go into a marriage with the potential to suffer for God knows how long. I'm not saying be a gold digger but select the guy that will at least assure you of good food, good clothing and good shelter.

Abi who be the guy wen wan make em sister suffer?

but wetin the ladies dey do? fucck and bleach?

njokusboy: Hypergamy......

It's really a tough world for men... for some women, all they gotta do is have a fine face and some good azzzz.... funny world

I tell u...imagine losing ur girl to a guy whose parents always prop up. Which potential the final guy get?

Potentiality is that dream, vision and idea without action. Actuality is that dream, vision and idea set in motion by your hustle and determination. There is no actuality without potentiality. To put things in context, Nigeria is potentiality without actuality while Malaysia is potentiality on wheels racing towards actuality.
It's not only peculiar to men, a lot of single women out there do not know what to do with their lives if that "husband"doesn't come their way.

Andwho is lady with potential?
I hope its not basically beauty.
I hope all these huge demands from a guy to be potential also apply for chicks..
just asking

Hmmm. A guy who fears God.
A guy who knows that faith is an action.

adconline: Potentiality is that dream, vision and idea without action. Actuality is that dream, vision and idea set in motion by your hustle and determination. There is no actuality without potentiality. To put things in context, Nigeria is potentiality without actuality while Malaysia is potentiality on wheels racing towards actuality.
It's not only peculiar to men, a lot of single women out there do not know what to do with their lives if that "husband"doesn't come their way.

I tell u if no be marriage eh...some ladies no get use.

onegig: I believe, the potential MOST women harp on most times is unwise and may lead them astray.. Most see money as the end result of what potential is. Money is just a means of exchange, there are much more to potentials than money.


Although i can't choose what people believe in but i guess when a guy is making an effort which seems honest and likely to yield results(life is a gamble though) and he is financially responsible, has a picture of a laudable goal, willing to take risks and "soil his hands" to achieve this, understands family needs and is willing to work extra hard to provide these NEEDS then i would say that guy has "potential".

But ain't it obvious that a guy that is struggling to makes ends meet prefers buying the latest galaxy s5, latest colonge, gadgets, dreams of driving an x5 in a year's time and so many other things which can be termed liabilities without any commensurable income to back those things up is a potential wreck?

Getting rich or being COMFORTABLE is a combination of many things in which ability to "save the little" you have is a big factor. I would term any guy that shows these qualities as someone with POTENTIALs, It's the CHARACTER to make it not the CURRENT results.

...Best analysis so far read. I totaly agree wit u!