Sisi_Kill: Sigh! This thread always makes me happy!

@Sisi_Kill. I'm going through the grinder and you're happy? I'm losing weight here

serubawon:

@Sisi_Kill. I'm going through the grinder and you're happy? I'm losing weight here

Hahaha!! Losing weight is good naaa!!!

We want you looking all GQ on D-Day, no Baba sala belle for Big Bros Abeg!!

Sisi_Kill:

Hahaha!! Losing weight is good naaa!!!

We want you looking all GQ on D-Day, no Baba sala belle for Big Bros Abeg!!

@Sisi_Kill. Hmmmm.......let me see. I'm 5'10” and weigh 228lbs (no fat), if I lose anymore weight, GQ will definitely reject me patapata.

it's not really easy to lose a loved one.

i can tell you. it"s really painful.

but as regarding your wife, you have tried a lot.

but life has to move on. you need to smile again.

you need happy moments again. for the sake of your children.

Ujujoan:

I know people think when men lose their wives, they need to get married again ASAP to be happy and satisfied. I just don't agree.

Okay take you for example . . . you are gradually beginning to lose the memories you had with your first wife, and olori is beginning to mean more that she ever did and that's fine becuse you deserve to be happy again. It's just that I find the idea distatsteful (no offence)!

@Ujujoan. My sister, I take no offense whatsoever. However, I do have to point some things out though. First, no matter how close olori and I become, I can never lose the memories of my late wife. They are much too precious to forget. What I meant was I don't always feel sad when I remember them like in the past. There are still days when I'm a bit down and depressed and I truly hate those days, 'cause those are the times the memories make me feel sad, but that can't be helped. She was a wonderful person (with emphasis on wonderful). However, I have learnt to put those memories in a quiet and secret part of my consciousness and only go there when it's absolutely necessary. No matter how a woman says she 'understands', she really doesn't want to be in competition with a spirit that she can't stand up to or face off with and that would be unfair to place her in that position. We have enough of our own issues to deal with. So, with your near death experience, I can understand how you feel(I think you need to share that experience with us one of these days though if you're game about it). So, as you said, I am carry go and malo moto pinpin pelu.

serubawon:

@Sisi_Kill. Hmmmm.......let me see. I'm 5'10” and weigh 228lbs (no fat), if I lose anymore weight, GQ will definitely reject me patapata.

Abeg that one be fat.

Only guys that are over 6 ft are allowed to pass the 200lbs stage. Lebron sef no reach 228. Im not kidding. You need to join a gym or diet. Who wants a pregnant groom?

Program must start now now

ThiefOfHearts:

Abeg that one be fat.

Only guys that are over 6 ft are allowed to pass the 200lbs stage. Lebron sef no reach 228. Im not kidding. You need to join a gym or diet. Who wants a pregnant groom?

Program must start now now

@ThiefOfHearts. Na wa o. Haven't you heard of kuruki before.

@ Serubawon
Which gele and asoebi might take a while? Tell Olori to come around already. She snagged herself a man not a boy. Come to think of it she might actually enjoy the chase and turns more than you do.

serubawon:

@ThiefOfHearts. Na wa o. Haven't you heard of kuruki before.

since when is kuruki a good thing LOL

better start running/jogging!

ThiefOfHearts:


since when is kuruki a good thing LOL

better start running/jogging!

Noted ma.

Serubawon and all, this is surely one thread that is not going to die easily- with all the drama here!

serubawon:

@Ujujoan. I think what analytical meant was all the years between now and when my late wife passed are considered lost years of marital happiness, I guess. I'm looking forward to making up for lost time.

@Uju, ok, let me clarify myself a bit. Maybe the word 'lost' is not the right one to use but I couldn't find any other to use. It is to be read as 'missing' and not as 'wasted'. Let me start by saying what I did not mean. I did not mean the years were wasted, neither did I imply that one has to get re-married ASAP when a spouse dies, as that will depend on the individual's wish. Also, I did not mean that singles (whether primary or secondary) cannot live fulfilled or satisfied lives. Far from it. They could and should. In fact, certain things are better enjoyed or done while single, free from spouse's (dis)approval, querries, accountabilities, considerations, understanding and what have you.

Having said this, however, you will agree with me that our friend has really missed some years. He has lost some years to death. Death stole his wife and away with her, the beautiful relationship they had. He lost the companionship he used to enjoy. He lost the visions and dreams they both had of a future together into old age. Death stole his peace, his home, his joy, his smiles. He lost the mother of his kids. Didn't you read where he wrote his kids could count the number of times he had smiled in 7 years? Now, that is a loss if you ask me.

Do I talk of the number of times Serubobo would have cried long into the night, or calling out Mrs Serubobo forgetting she is no longer around? I shouldn't go there at all, so as not to revisit the healing wound. Come to think of it, Serubobo also lost 'kpekusing' for 8 years running now! That should count for nothing less that 1,000 moments of sheer ecstasy lost! Especially, since we all know he is neither a monk nor a eunuch. Forgive me all. Uju asked for it!

This thread alone is an evidence of that loss. It started as a cry from deep within a man who has lost something precious. But I am happy it has morphed into one of hope and expectation, drama and laughter. So, when I prayed that the lost years be restored, I was sure our friend serubobo will truly understand what I meant.

@Seru, you have ready-made sketch for your book on this thread. Just to put more flesh to it is what remains. It will be a best-seller. Only that the story is not ending yet!!

---

Now this Olori is something else altogether . . .

Analytical: Serubawon and all, this is surely one thread that is not going to die easily- with all the drama here!


Now this Olori is something else altogether . . .

Analytical Baba!!! Always on point. However, please lend me your thoughts and expand on the last sentence. I'm sure this is going to be very interesting....

Analytical: Serubawon and all, this is surely one thread that is not going to die easily- with all the drama here!




@Uju, ok, let me clarify myself a bit. Maybe the word 'lost' is not the right one to use but I couldn't find any other to use. It is to be read as 'missing' and not as 'wasted'. Let me start by saying what I did not mean. I did not mean the years were wasted, neither did I imply that one has to get re-married ASAP when a spouse dies, as that will depend on the individual's wish. Also, I did not mean that singles (whether primary or secondary) cannot live fulfilled or satisfied lives. Far from it. They could and should. In fact, certain things are better enjoyed or done while single, free from spouse's (dis)approval, querries, accountabilities, considerations, understanding and what have you.

Having said this, however, you will agree with me that our friend has really missed some years. He has lost some years to death. Death stole his wife and away with her, the beautiful relationship they had. He lost the companionship he used to enjoy. He lost the visions and dreams they both had of a future together into old age. Death stole his peace, his home, his joy, his smiles. He lost the mother of his kids. Didn't you read where he wrote his kids could count the number of times he had smiled in 7 years? Now, that is a loss if you ask me.

Do I talk of the number of times Serubobo would have cried long into the night, or calling out Mrs Serubobo forgetting she is no longer around? I shouldn't go there at all, so as not to revisit the healing wound. Come to think of it, Serubobo also lost 'kpekusing' for 8 years running now! That should count for nothing less that 1,000 moments of sheer ecstasy lost! Especially, since we all know he is neither a monk nor a eunuch. Forgive me all. Uju asked for it!

This thread alone is an evidence of that loss. It started as a cry from deep within a man who has lost something precious. But I am happy it has morphed into one of hope and expectation, drama and laughter. So, when I prayed that the lost years be restored, I was sure our friend serubobo will truly understand what I meant.

@Seru, you have ready-made sketch for your book on this thread. Just to put more flesh to it is what remains. It will be a best-seller. Only that the story is not ending yet!!

---

Now this Olori is something else altogether . . .

Okay . . I admit my post did sound a bit judgemental and selfish and I apologize to Serubobo

serubawon:
@Ujujoan. My sister, I take no offense whatsoever. However, I do have to point some things out though. First, no matter how close olori and I become, I can never lose the memories of my late wife. They are much too precious to forget. What I meant was I don't always feel sad when I remember them like in the past. There are still days when I'm a bit down and depressed and I truly hate those days, 'cause those are the times the memories make me feel sad, but that can't be helped. She was a wonderful person (with emphasis on wonderful). However, I have learnt to put those memories in a quiet and secret part of my consciousness and only go there when it's absolutely necessary. No matter how a woman says she 'understands', she really doesn't want to be in competition with a spirit that she can't stand up to or face off with and that would be unfair to place her in that position. We have enough of our own issues to deal with. So, with your near death experience, I can understand how you feel(I think you need to share that experience with us one of these days though if you're game about it). So, as you said, I am carry go and malo moto pinpin pelu.

Forgive my sentimental outburst. I guess I overthink things sometimes.

The truth is that when death comes calling, there's nothing anybody can do about it.

If at all I have to leave my kids for someone else to raise (or my husband for someone else to love), I'll love to have someone who truly understands what it means to be a real family. And your Olori apparently does!

I'm sure your late wife will be smiling on from heaven knowing her family is is good hands. Congrats bro!

Ujujoan:

Okay . . I admit my post did sound a bit judgemental and selfish and I apologize to Serubobo

It was very judgmental and harsh but I kinda understood where you were coming from. Would I want any woman to raise my kids? Hell No and that is why I have made a covenant with God to live long.

Awwww, Ujujuoan, that was nice of you My post was not a reprimand though, but to further clarify one of my earlier posts.

@Jenny, may you live long!

@Serubawon, I will be back . . .

jennykadry:

It was very judgmental and harsh but I kinda understood where you were coming from. Would I want any woman to raise my kids? Hell No and that is why I have made a covenant with God to live long.

Amen to that my sister . . . .

Analytical: Awwww, Ujujuoan, that was nice of you My post was not a reprimand though, but to further clarify one of my earlier posts.

@Jenny, may you live long!

@Serubawon, I will be back . . .

I know . .. but it should have. God knows I had it coming . . .

Now this Olori is something else altogether . . .

serubawon:

Analytical Baba!!! Always on point. However, please lend me your thoughts and expand on the last sentence. I'm sure this is going to be very interesting....

@Serubawon, how do I start this? I was hoping you won't ask. So much to say, but let me try and make it about my unfinished sentence. I remember earlier on in this thread, somewhere, I wrote that what you need is not another Mrs Serubawon, but someone that will be right for you, considering the circumstances. While I don't want to be presumptious, which is why I am a bit reluctant, I can say from what you have written about her here that she is a good fit from so many angles- faith(?), age, experience, etc.

I am happy that you found someone you won't have to compare your late wife with because they are so different. I am also happy you can actually think about her now without the pains again. This is when you know your wound is healed- when the pain is gone, even though the scar may never go away! Until this is done, I think the person is really not ready for another relationship. It may inflict more injury on the wound! So praise God your wound is getting healed. This will bring me to Olori and her own wound.

She is definitely an interesting character and you two present a complimentary blend of temperaments which should be exciting and fun-filled if well managed. Undoubtedly, your cool, calm and collected, predominantly phlegmatic temperament will find a good match in her predominantly choleric temperament. While you are attracted to her driven, focussed, determined, goal-oriented and stubborn approach to life and issues, she is sucked in by a guy that never gets angry at her anger and tantrums and seems so cool to even see her in the mood! This can almost frustrate and confuse a choleric so used to be in control and getting her way. Moreso when this particular choleric also has a good dose of melancholy.

This explains her extreme swings. She may be very angry this minute and be very romantic and sweet the next. Isn't it a good thing when such a person meets Mr Cool, never-fazed, never-ruffled, composed guy who has the capacity to absorb all the fire and thunder? And will it not be wonderful too when the somewhat laid-back phlegmatic Mr Serubawon gets a jolt of purposeful, goal-driven career-changing energy from the ever focussed choleric Olori? This is talking from a temperamental point of view.

I am sure by now, you know you will have to cope with anger issues and depression. When she outbursts, it is total. But then she empties herself! And it ends right there and then. You will be amazed she is all over you by the next day! One thing for sure, there will never be a dull moment in this relationship. She will get on your nerves and drive you literarily! She is being to type and not testing you. That is the way she is wired. She gets things done and is born to lead. She is independent and knows what she wants and how to get it. You will have to support her in letting her play to her strength. Make her your tag-team partner. You will be unbeatable!

Her experience of divorce played into her melancholic weakness, hence her fear of being hurt again. She can be very trusting, but don't betray that trust. I am a bit surprised though that you refused to discuss that aspect of her life together. I wish you will discuss and get her to open up that part of her life in order to get her to heal totally and let go of her fears. Get her to talk about him, the hurt, the divorce and how she was able to move on. Don't pretend it is not an issue. Not that you want to find out, but because you will get to know her the more and thereby get her assured of your trust and love. She has to let go and love again. I trust you can do that.

Above all, please pray and trust the Holy Spirit to tranform you both. He can blend any temperaments to his glory.


[size=4pt] Getting too long, have to cut it short. [/size]

Analytical:




@Serubawon, how do I start this? I was hoping you won't ask. So much to say, but let me try and make it about my unfinished sentence. I remember earlier on in this thread, somewhere, I wrote that what you need is not another Mrs Serubawon, but someone that will be right for you, considering the circumstances. While I don't want to be presumptious, which is why I am a bit reluctant, I can say from what you have written about her here that she is a good fit from so many angles- faith(?), age, experience, etc.

I am happy that you found someone you won't have to compare your late wife with because they are so different. I am also happy you can actually think about her now without the pains again. This is when you know your wound is healed- when the pain is gone, even though the scar may never go away! Until this is done, I think the person is really not ready for another relationship. It may inflict more injury on the wound! So praise God your wound is getting healed. This will bring me to Olori and her own wound.

She is definitely an interesting character and you two present a complimentary blend of temperaments which should be exciting and fun-filled if well managed. Undoubtedly, your cool, calm and collected, predominantly phlegmatic temperament will find a good match in her predominantly choleric temperament. While you are attracted to her driven, focussed, determined, goal-oriented and stubborn approach to life and issues, she is sucked in by a guy that never gets angry at her anger and tantrums and seems so cool to even see her in the mood! This can almost frustrate and confuse a choleric so used to be in control and getting her way. Moreso when this particular choleric also has a good dose of melancholy.

This explains her extreme swings. She may be very angry this minute and be very romantic and sweet the next. Isn't it a good thing when such a person meets Mr Cool, never-fazed, never-ruffled, composed guy who has the capacity to absorb all the fire and thunder? And will it not be wonderful too when the somewhat laid-back phlegmatic Mr Serubawon gets a jolt of purposeful, goal-driven career-changing energy from the ever focussed choleric Olori? This is talking from a temperamental point of view.

I am sure by now, you know you will have to cope with anger issues and depression. When she outbursts, it is total. But then she empties herself! And it ends right there and then. You will be amazed she is all over you by the next day! One thing for sure, there will never be a dull moment in this relationship. She will get on your nerves and drive you literarily! She is being to type and not testing you. That is the way she is wired. She gets things done and is born to lead. She is independent and knows what she wants and how to get it. You will have to support her in letting her play to her strength. Make her your tag-team partner. You will be unbeatable!

Her experience of divorce played into her melancholic weakness, hence her fear of being hurt again. She can be very trusting, but don't betray that trust. I am a bit surprised though that you refused to discuss that aspect of her life together. I wish you will discuss and get her to open up that part of her life in order to get her to heal totally and let go of her fears. Get her to talk about him, the hurt, the divorce and how she was able to move on. Don't pretend it is not an issue. Not that you want to find out, but because you will get to know her the more and thereby get her assured of your trust and love. She has to let go and love again. I trust you can do that.

Above all, please pray and trust the Holy Spirit to tranform you both. He can blend any temperaments to his glory.


[size=4pt] Getting too long, have to cut it short. [/size]

You couldn't have chosen a more suitable cyber-name!

Your analysis skills are quite impressive!

Ujujoan:

Okay . . I admit my post did sound a bit judgemental and selfish and I apologize to Serubobo

@Uju. As I said earlier, I take no offense. I truly appreciate the constructive criticism that I receive on this thread and it continuously helps me to become a better person. Just like jenny said, I also can understand where you're coming from.

@Jenny. As always, you had my back and it's one of the reasons I enjoy your posts (you don't pull punches). Me thinks Uju has a story to tell, don't you think

@Analytical. Baba Professor!!! We need to hook up more often and I mean like on the phone. God has granted you the wisdom of Solomon and you express it with panache. Olori enjoys reading this thread and it kind of opens her up to another side of me she doesn't see on a day to day basis. Concerning her past, I know most of it. She opens up gradually and I never push it. I told her recently that it took one guy to turn her life upside down. It's going to take me (one guy also) to turn everything right side up again(by God's grace). I really don't think I can explain it any better than you did (I don't think anyone can). She's a gem that will shine through anything. I just pray for God's wisdom to do the right things concerning her and her daughter. As you said, the story continues........

serubawon:

@Uju. As I said earlier, I take no offense. I truly appreciate the constructive criticism that I receive on this thread and it continuously helps me to become a better person. Just like jenny said, I also can understand where you're coming from.

@Jenny. As always, you had my back and it's one of the reasons I enjoy your posts (you don't pull punches). Me thinks Uju has a story to tell, don't you think

@Analytical. Baba Professor!!! We need to hook up more often and I mean like on the phone. God has granted you the wisdom of Solomon and you express it with panache. Olori enjoys reading this thread and it kind of opens her up to another side of me she doesn't see on a day to day basis. Concerning her past, I know most of it. She opens up gradually and I never push it. I told her recently that it took one guy to turn her life upside down. It's going to take me (one guy also) to turn everything right side up again(by God's grace). I really don't think I can explain it any better than you did (I don't think anyone can). She's a gem that will shine through anything. I just pray for God's wisdom to do the right things concerning her and her daughter. As you said, the story continues........

Awwww . . . Now you've gone and made me feel worse about my post. There . . . . fixed it!

You know I made that post from a hospital bed. I guess I was still high on those shots they kept giving me . . .

I'm not much of a story teller, not like you anyways Besides, there's no much story to be told, except that of thanksgiving I suppose. I went AND I survived and I hope it stays that way!

Ujujoan:

Awwww . . . Now you've gone and made me feel worse about my post. There . . . . fixed it!

You know I made that post from a hospital bed. I guess I was still high on those shots they kept giving me . . .

I'm not much of a story teller, not like you anyways Besides, there's no much story to be told, except that of thanksgiving I suppose. I went AND I survived and I hope it stays that way!

@Uju. Why would you feel bad? Please don't. Also, I hope you're getting better and you are healed by His stripes IJN. As you said, you're a survivor (and I'm sure you have a covenant with God to live long just like Jenny does)

serubawon:

@Uju. Why would you feel bad? Please don't. Also, I hope you're getting better and you are healed by His stripes IJN. As you said, you're a survivor (and I'm sure you have a covenant with God to live long just like Jenny does)

AMEN! Thanks a lot . . .

I know I'll live long enough to see my children's children's children

@Uju, you survived and I am sure you it will stay that way. Please take care to rest and take care of that body. Thanks for that comment:

@Serubawon, Professor ke? Just trying to be myself and lend my two cents. Thank God for His grace.

I am glad she has opened up most of her past to you. What she needs is an assurance from you that she can trust her life with you. Like CC said in one of her posts, for her type, this will not be through mere rhetorics. It has to be by action. Such people are action-packed and action-motivated. Convince her beyond all doubts that she has come to her destination. Be yourself and put in those actions of love and maturity you are capable of and you have won your gem for keeps.

Yes, I agree she can shine through anything. She thrives on obstacles and challenges. She attacks problems with gusto and grace. Give her a mountain, she goes through, around or above it. There must always be a way out with a choleric. She will achieve her purpose with or without, which brings her into conflicts with people as she is not afraid of stepping on toes!

To tell the truth, personally I had wished you will find a single mother - widow (nothing against her though). But then, I am not God! Your kids need someone with a motherly experience which she has. She will be bringing that experience to bear and I am sure the kids will be okay. About her parenting style, expect a disciplinarian! She is firm and stern and won't spare. Don't think she doesn't love them. She does. But she is not given to pampering. I pray God gives you the wisdom as you prayed.

The story continues . . .

Analytical Baba!

its in your DNA.

Serubobo
I'm for Team Olori jor!

Dont usually like cholerics but you cant touch their drive and with ur temperament the combination works. Besides I'm tired of hearing of relationships where people arent playing on each others strength.

Well I've picked my aso-ebi myself oh, me I no like to waste time

I love that analysis by Uncle Analytical,deep. Leave it!
Spot on the mel vulnerability thing.
Goes to show why this is my favorite thread on NL.

salsera:
Serubobo
I'm for Team Olori jor!

Na wa o. See life o. No be me you sabi before I talk about Olori. What happened to 'Team Serubawon'?

Not to worry
SCREEN PRINT is on both sides
OLORI for front
SERUBOBO for back

salsera:


Not to worry
SCREEN PRINT is on both sides
OLORI for front
SERUBOBO for back

Hmmmmmm.......smart woman! However, WHY IS SERUBAWON ON THE BACK?