shinechinedu:
May God never allow me to come across any lady like you! Gosh your heartlessness is on a new level. What more can I say? Too much of hollywood

wisdom is profitable 2 direct!
Y can't accept that ppl are different n unique....ppl leave their spoues 2 Focus on Ministry,Career,Project,Biz ventures evry year all over the world..
Sometimes u Need all Ur Energies 2 focus on 1 thing!!!
y can't u be tolerant of other ppl decision instead of Been Childish!

Break up gift is not a bad idea if the amount involved is actually an offer one can not refuse. I have personally offered a lady 21 million naira to end a relationship I considered I have betrayed. She refused and demanded that I buy her a 50 million naira house. Everyone has a price tag, and if you have a good conscience, you can always know within your heart what is right. In this case, you are wrong my friend.

.......With all indications it seems both of you are having challenges in life and you feel he is not where he is suppose to be and you are scared of the future uncertainties....Leaving him now at this point when you know his situation and even considering parting him with some financial gift will alter him psychologically for the rest of his life....Please don't punch a man when he is down, you may not know that what you are doing now is gruesome till later in life....Think about this critically if you have ever loved him.

stint:
Even without hearing your bf's side of the story i know he has three problems at least:
1. He is broke
2. His girlfriend think he is incapable of helping him solve her problem. She thinks he is a distraction.
3. This girlfriend whom he loves has been trying to break up with him for some time now. Am sure he has been sensing it before u ever mentioned it.
But that does not matter since your own problems which neither I nor your bf knows about are a lot greater than the ones lifted above. Pls stop trying to be righteous. You want to break up. Its messy, it will be your fault, its grown up stuff, its not easy, its not pretty, but u have to do it. I want you to do it for the guy's sake. Dont offer him money. Try to tell him the REAL reason. I know most girls dont like to do that because they dont want their guys painting them black after thr break up. But dont worry about that. This one loves u. Be honest if u want him to get closure and think good thoughts about u when he finally gets over it.
I

1 & 3 are correct. However, I have loved this man for a long time. We have been through ups and downs. I myself come from humble beginnings and money has never been a factor. I make my own money, always have & will. Money is a great servant but a horrible master. I only thought to offer him assistance be I personally know he needs it but would never ask. I simply wanted to help. Thank you for not accusing me of bribery like others have.
Yes, I have tried to break up with him twice within the last 3 months. It was a difficult conversation to even bring up at the first attempt. I know myself and I know the issue I'm trying to resolve. It is serious and somewhat embarrassing; It's hard for me to bring such matters to friends, family, or my bf. It's always been a struggle for me to depend on others. It makes me feel weak like I can't handle my own problems I usually go on a hiatus kinda until I sort it all out. It's been an effective way thus far except now I am in a relationship with presents another challenge. I know it's weird but it works for me. I am good at hiding and smiling through my personal stressful hell. I guess I learned how to as a kid...dunno. Thank you for not accusing me of being a "cheat" or "gold digger"
The bold is what is all boils down to. Very simply put, I need my energy and attention more than anyone else during my this difficult time.
It doesn't me I don't love him.

nieema:

Maybe I can also give him some break up loving...just kidding
Seriously, thanks for your advise sir.

Women.. always using sex as a tool to buy their way through... smh!

nieema:
I've been trying to end my 2 year relationship for a few months. There are several reasons but the MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself. I need to make some adjustments to improve my life and I need some space to refocus. I love him but I don't NEED to be in a relationship at this time with anyone. We promised each other that we would always be honest about how we were feeling. I reminded him of this when I tried to break things off six weeks ago. I told him that I would still be there for him if he needed anything. I respect him but I need to take care of some things in my peronal life that require my full attention.
I proposed that we go back to being friends but he rejected my offer. Even though we started as friends he said he isnt willing to have a friendship with me if I end the relationship. I don't think it's fair because I've been genuinely good to him. After much consideration and further frustration, I've decided to break it off tonight face to face. At the moment he is having some financial difficulties and I plan to gift him 40k to help ease the sting. I hope he undersatands that I sincerely care for him as I refocus on my own life.
Would you guys/ladies feel better if your honey left you with a break up gift?..or no??

Don't say you love him because if you did, you won't be thinking about abandoning the relationship. It makes no sense whatsoever for anyone to end relationship with someone they TRULY love!

You're not being truthful. The reason you gave about "NOT being happy with yourself. You need to make some adjustments to improve your life and you need some space to refocus." is simply because the guy is now having financial problem, that you now want to abandon him.

Would you think of ending the relationship if he wasn't having financial problem? The answer is NO.

You're a terrible girl and don't deserve to be loved. I wish the guy will accept the 40k (you want to give him) shove it up your stinky a*ss.

sagio09:

Dats the reason I sometimes hate girls,sometimes they reason with fish brain.you said he's gwud nd u're both happy wit d rlshnshp nd u also said "u no ur action isn't a fair one". Pls can u imagine the type of girls we have in Africa. SMH

My brother, its d whole world o forget...

redcliff:


My brother, its d whole world o forget...

Lol girls in london would never do dat they dump u easy peasy lol this is soo funny.

sleek82:
Well I'm findin your excuse for breakup really hard to bliv...I guess your real reasons r still best known to you. I bliv if u have somethings to straighten in ur personal life, your partner shuld b one of the persons to help out. Im sori if I sound out of point here but anytime I go into a serious relationship, I see the lady as if she were ma wife and so I alwys find reasons to alwys keep her instead of lose her. I bliv if dis man means 'd world' to u, you wuldnt even give it a thought to lose him irrespective of wat u r goin thru. [b]Wat if u r married to him? [/b]Wont you still tackle ur personal probs and still av him beside you as ur husband? I think he might read a negative meanin to ur gift as I would if I were in his shoes.........just ma thoughts sha

I see your point. That is something I will try to work on.
Your points are valid. He has asked similar questions and I guess that is something to think about...lt will have to be later tho.

Lala247:


Lol girls in london would never do dat they dump u easy peasy lol this is soo funny.

Its nt about the dumping.. its d complication you people came to this world with

nieema:

I see your point. That is something I will try to work on.
Your points are valid. He has asked similar questions and I guess that is something to think about...lt will have to be later tho.

If he broke up with u n did the same how would u feel.

nieema:

1 & 3 are correct. However, I have loved this man for a long time. We have been through ups and downs. I myself come from humble beginnings and money has never been a factor. I make my own money, always have & will. Money is a great servant but a horrible master. I only thought to offer him assistance be I personally know he needs it but would never ask. I simply wanted to help. Thank you for not accusing me of bribery like others have.
Yes, I have tried to break up with him twice within the last 3 months. It was a difficult conversation to even bring up at the first attempt. I know myself and I know the issue I'm trying to resolve. It is serious and somewhat embarrassing; It's hard for me to bring such matters to friends, family, or my bf. It's always been a struggle for me to depend on others. It makes me feel weak like I can't handle my own problems I usually go on a hiatus kinda until I sort it all out. It's been an effective way thus far except now I am in a relationship with presents another challenge. I know it's weird but it works for me. I am good at hiding and smiling through my personal stressful hell. I guess I learned how to as a kid...dunno. Thank you for not accusing me of being a "cheat" or "gold digger"
The bold is what is all boils down to. Very simply put, I need my energy and attention more than anyone else during my this difficult time.
It doesn't me I don't love him.

If that's your final decision. Then simply meet up with him, apologies that you cannot really do it any further, as you've personal issues to solve. Pay into his account, and do better than 40k. I sense, he'll need it more than anything, if you can, do better, possibly up to 100k if you can.

Now, to you. There's a popular saying, nothing is new under the sun. I have lost a lot more than I could gain because I tried to manage it by myself, eventually, I do, but it cost me more time, more pain, and a very stressful process, it's childish. Really, I should have taken advantage of a once in a life time opportunity, but I didn't share it enough, and I lost it. it's been: 4 years, and I am still trying to find ways around it.

I will strongly advise you to read more, expose yourself more, and then you'll realise, whatever you are trying to overcome is nothing, cos, others have fixed it before, and their experiences can easily guide you.

redcliff:


Its nt about the dumping.. its d complication you people came to this world with

But u cant generalise if uve only been with girls that live and are from Nigeria . Mayb the one u knw r complicated

DopeAngel:
although am a guy. I would like a range rover 2015 model, a G wagon and mercedes benz C290. Then a well furnished mansion in ikoyi with two boys quarter and a barbeque joint. Then a swimming pool added. I would like a sponspored trip to paris and las vegas then to the romantic city of barcelona. Then a shopping spree in london will be all. All these are my heart desires if am to break up with my rich sugarmummy. Glory be to God

Read "think and grow rich" youl make money while thinking... easy stuff

Lala247:


But u cant generalise if uve only been with girls that live and are from Nigeria . Mayb the one u knw r complicated

Lol.. i ve mingled with ladies not just from africa but europe.. yall are same.. except you want to tell me you ve got a dick.

damola1:


If that's your final decision. Then simply meet up with him, apologies that you cannot really do it any further, as you've personal issues to solve. Pay into his account, and do better than 40k. I sense, he'll need it more than anything, if you can, do better, possibly up to 100k if you can.

Now, to you. There's a popular saying, nothing is new under the sun. I have lost a lot more than I could gain because I tried to manage it by myself, eventually, I do, but it cost me more time, more pain, and a very stressful process, it's childish. Really, I should have taken advantage of a once in a life time opportunity, but I didn't share it enough, and I lost it. it's been: 4 years, and I am still trying to find ways around it.

I will strongly advise you to read more, expose yourself more, and then you'll realise, whatever you are trying to overcome is nothing, cos, others have fixed it before, and their experiences can easily guide you.

Thank you kindly.

nieema:


1 & 3 are correct. However, I have loved this man for a long time. We have been through ups and downs. I myself come from humble beginnings and money has never been a factor. I make my own money, always have & will. Money is a great servant but a horrible master. I only thought to offer him assistance be I personally know he needs it but would never ask. I simply wanted to help. Thank you for not accusing me of bribery like others have.
Yes, I have tried to break up with him twice within the last 3 months. It was a difficult conversation to even bring up at the first attempt. I know myself and I know the issue I'm trying to resolve. It is serious and somewhat embarrassing; It's hard for me to bring such matters to friends, family, or my bf. It's always been a struggle for me to depend on others. It makes me feel weak like I can't handle my own problems I usually go on a hiatus kinda until I sort it all out. It's been an effective way thus far except now I am in a relationship with presents another challenge. I know it's weird but it works for me. I am good at hiding and smiling through my personal stressful hell. I guess I learned how to as a kid...dunno. Thank you for not accusing me of being a "cheat" or "gold digger"
The bold is what is all boils down to. Very simply put, I need my energy and attention more than anyone else during my this difficult time.
It doesn't me I don't love him.

Hmmm i think i understand u a little better now, maybe that is because i am a little like you. You dont know how to ask for help. I like to think and think about my problems too untill a solution pops up. While going through this process, a lot of people get offended that i dont call, they say i dont care, the truth however is that I care more than most people.
If i am right and you really have something thats really confusing that you have to handle. I think you have two options
1. You can break up and then think and think over it untill a solution pops up or whatever the usual way is. Then u might have another problem of loneliness. Missing someone you live. Might.
2. Or you can take this opportunity to learn how to solve your problems while in a relationship with someone that loves you. You shouldnt feel bad to accept a help you know you would also render if the tables were turned. Especially when love is in the equation. Dear you will get married eventually and this wont be the last big problem you have to solve. What will you do then? Get some space?

Or maybe this is just one big sign that you both are not meant together. You have the right to walk away. Just try and make it the last option. Try and solve this problem in a way you havent solved it before, involve him. If it doesnt work, then you can break up and take the space you need.

I AM ASSUMING THERE IS NO OTHER GUY.

redcliff:


Lol.. i ve mingled with ladies not just from africa but europe.. yall are same.. except you want to tell me you ve got a dick.

Hmmm mayb u just attract the sort

NobleG1:


Don't say you love him because if you did, you won't be thinking about abandoning the relationship. It makes no sense whatsoever for anyone to end relationship with someone they TRULY love!

You're not being truthful. The reason you gave about "NOT being happy with yourself. You need to make some adjustments to improve your life and you need some space to refocus." is simply because the guy is now having financial problem, that you now want to abandon him.

Would you think of ending the relationship if he wasn't having financial problem? The answer is NO.

You're a terrible girl and don't deserve to be loved. I wish the guy will accept the 40k (you want to give him) shove it up your stinky a*ss.

Mr Righteous

You must have been hurt pretty bad


Moral of the story: Don't go into a relationship unless you are ready to your the knot.

Sometime in d future u r likely to look back and wonder what the heck u were thinking when u left him and realise dt its too late. A hrt is to valuable to toy with for "personal reasons"

Lala247:


Hmmm mayb u just attract the sort

Hmnmm mayb

nieema:
I've been trying to end my 2 year relationship for a few months. There are several reasons but the MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself. I need to make some adjustments to improve my life and I need some space to refocus. I love him but I don't NEED to be in a relationship at this time with anyone. We promised each other that we would always be honest about how we were feeling. I reminded him of this when I tried to break things off six weeks ago. I told him that I would still be there for him if he needed anything. I respect him but I need to take care of some things in my peronal life that require my full attention.
I proposed that we go back to being friends but he rejected my offer. Even though we started as friends he said he isnt willing to have a friendship with me if I end the relationship. I don't think it's fair because I've been genuinely good to him. After much consideration and further frustration, I've decided to break it off tonight face to face. At the moment he is having some financial difficulties and I plan to gift him 40k to help ease the sting. I hope he undersatands that I sincerely care for him as I refocus on my own life.
Would you guys/ladies feel better if your honey left you with a break up gift?..or no??

You sound like "one of a kind" and a genuinely caring person and I highly commend you for that.However, to me the greatest relationships is those that can withstand the toughest of times.Nothing in this world is more important than people-not money,not material stuff,nada.If some things "require full attention" and if he doesn't mind to sacrifice then he should be all-in-it for you.Yes,refocus on your life all you can but understand that nothing is static in life,things change,people change coz at some point in the future you're bound to feel differently.Yes,he needs to pull up his socks and it sounds like he can't live without you-every relationship has its difficulties- but it feels like its YOU who needs re-invention,self apparaisal and self critic the most(its you who's the stumbling block) ...and the key words for that reason is ..."MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself".

stint:

Hmmm i think i understand u a little better now, maybe that is because i am a little like you. You dont know how to ask for help. I like to think and think about my problems too untill a solution pops up. While going through this process, a lot of people get offended that[b[b]] i dont call, they say i dont care, the truth however is that I care more than most people.[/b][/b]
If i am right and you really have something thats really confusing that you have to handle. I think you have two options
1. You can break up and then think and think over it untill a solution pops up or whatever the usual way is. Then u might have another problem of loneliness. Missing someone you live. Might.
2. Or you can take this opportunity to learn how to solve your problems while in a relationship with someone that loves you. You shouldnt feel bad to accept a help you know you would also render if the tables were turned. Especially when love is in the equation. Dear you will get married eventually and this wont be the last big problem you have to solve. What will you do then? Get some space?
Or maybe this is just one big sign that you both are not meant together. You have the right to walk away. Just try and make it the last option. Try and solve this problem in a way you havent solved it before, involve him. If it doesnt work, then you can break up and take the space you need.
I AM ASSUMING THERE IS NO OTHER GUY.

Been there, done that. To tell you how terrible mine was: I actually just allow my sim go off, lost most contacts.. and I didn't use a smart phone, so, no watsups, no bbm, etc... just shut down.. telling you: 5years now... just rebooting.... got my firsrt smartphone (even the free gift one I was given I didn't use) in 4years last week.

Do you know Happiness and sadness, Problems and solution is all a Perception...and in reality, thats why, we need mentors, and we need an outlet to express our worries, else we just a psychologist. WHat you think is a big deal is nothing,.. absolutely nothing, the worst is: health, and frankly, science has fixed health a whole lot more...


Talk the matter, look for pros in the field of worry, talk to them, if you wish to do anonymously, go to forums where there are extablished Pros, matter talketh, matter solveth...

But I still say it. THat guy needs to handle cash!..$$ answereth all things!...

sagio09:
This guy must b a mugu if he collects it.I never accept ur point shld b put in consideration to ur actions.honestly ur points are pointless,u're jst tryn 2 betray him 4 other hidden reasons d@ I can figure 1 out.U said "he's currently broke".I think u're tryn 2 leave him bcox he doesn't hv cool cash. Remember "The rice @ d top of the flask was once at the bottom of the pot.

on the contrary,the guy must be a mugu if he doesn't accept that cash,what is love?

@ op don't be surprise at the guy collecting the money with smiles and you finding out you were not what you think to him

stint:

Hmmm i think i understand u a little better now, maybe that is because i am a little like you. You dont know how to ask for help. I like to think and think about my problems too untill a solution pops up. While going through this process, a lot of people get offended that i dont call, they say i dont care, the truth however is that I care more than most people.
If i am right and you really have something thats really confusing that you have to handle. I think you have two options
1. You can break up and then think and think over it untill a solution pops up or whatever the usual way is. Then u might have another problem of loneliness. Missing someone you live. Might.
2. Or you can take this opportunity to learn how to solve your problems while in a relationship with someone that loves you. You shouldnt feel bad to accept a help you know you would also render if the tables were turned. Especially when love is in the equation. Dear you will get married eventually and this wont be the last big problem you have to solve. What will you do then? Get some space?

Or maybe this is just one big sign that you both are not meant together. You have the right to walk away. Just try and make it the last option. Try and solve this problem in a way you havent solved it before, involve him. If it doesnt work, then you can break up and take the space you need.

I AM ASSUMING THERE IS NO OTHER GUY.

You are my twin sir. There is NO OTHER GUY.
My belief that most freindships last LONGER than relationships which is why I was hesitant to agree to date him in the first place.
I have seen how people can react if the relationship has to end...just read some of the comments on this thread. I stand in my own truth still.

Bifwoli:


You sound like "one of a kind" and a genuinely caring person and I highly commend you for that.However, to me the greatest relationships is those that can withstand the toughest of times.Nothing in this world is more important than people-not money,not material stuff,nada.If some things "require full attention" and if he doesn't mind to sacrifice then he should be all-in-it for you.Yes,refocus on your life all you can but understand that nothing is static in life,things change,people change coz at some point in the future you're bound to feel differently.Yes,he needs to pull up his socks and it sounds like he can't live without you-every relationship has its difficulties- but it feels like its YOU who needs re-invention,self apparaisal and self critic the most(its you who's the stumbling block) ...and the key words for that reason is ..."MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself".

Thank you for paying attention. It's exactly what I've been attempting to explain to him. You never see me blame him...I know I need to address my personal issues. Not sure why some person would attack me for it but these days I have not to energy to care. I know my own truth.

nieema:

You are my twin sir. There is NO OTHER GUY.
My belief that most freindships last LONGER than relationships which is why I was hesitant to agree to date him in the first place.
I have seen how people can react if the relationship has to end...just read some of the comments on this thread. I stand in my own truth still.

Women and men are different, friendship is nothing, relationship is everything.

I find it ridiculous, just thinking about it, to be a friend to someone I have intimate feelings for. Where's the time for friendship?

Obviously, you've a better control over your emotions, and the guy carry am for head, which I should add, is important. cos, at least one person suppose carry am for head.

Really, my advise is more suited to the guy to face front. It's dangerous to be in a relationship where a woman as a upper hand on the emotions, cos, women think a lot with their emotions and have mood swings easily even when they know they'll hit the rocks. For example: as a guy, I can discuss anything with anybody, and it's easier to discuss and get instant and real time effective feedback from fellow guys. But it's seldom the case with women, most women don't even think that far...

My advise is for that guy to get the sh!!t together, and face front.... You are a wonderful person, but he's not yet man enough... else, this your mood swing, should be nothing

Of course not! How preposterous!!! *Righteous rage*

But errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, if it involves a Range Rover Sport 2014... well, I have to forgive him. Did not the Lord ask us to forgive and forget? Duh

If people can accept a break up sex why not accept a gift.

nieema:


Am just hoping he knows it's nothing about him. I hope he can consider picking up with me in d future is he is still available

Will you be available for him in the future?

please when u break up.. and u r ready to date again..

please can u date me, and break up the next hour with a parting gift of 5k.?




seriously, u r asexual like me.. love chokes u up. but don't make d mistake of giving him money.

just tell him u can't handle anything emotional right now, u r emotionally drained. and u need to gather strength., u rnt seeing someone else, he shouldn't try keeping in touch for a while.

someone like me would understand.

if he doesn't.. tell him u need psychotherapy.
the truth is, we all need one at some point in our lives.

u need to breathe, self-actualization phase.

u r brave

"I need to take care of some things in my personal life that require my full attention "....I guess you quit your job...dropped your friends...stop visiting family and just locked yourself in some room. Is this your gift money part of what he gave you before he fell on hard times? Two years and you never saw the need to focus on yourself.....until now...when he down and you are not seeing signs of him getting up again. Your mouth testifying that you love him but actions showing something different. Actions speak louder than words. He said no friendship....you should be happy to get the space to focus on yourself....why insist on being friends?....to have a foot in the door to rush back in if he gets back on his feet? Get out of his life.