U mean if you are married, u will need a divorce to enable u focus on personal issues or whatever? If you don't love the the guy anymore, for whatever slime reason, just get the hell out of his life. Don't try to leave the back door open with your pathetic 40k incase u want to come back in. Trust me, he will pick up the pieces n move on, it will be as if you were never there.

Women, if it is the man now, it will be all men are the same, the truth is that you are leaving him because he is broke

This is a very delicate case. I want you to understand one thing, the fact that you started your relationship from friendship is very lovely and I like that. The problem there is that there is no way a guy who graduated with his friend from friendship to relationship cannot agree to go back to just been friends. That apart, the fact that you decided to make some changes in your person life should not affect your relationship as there might be a situation where you might need some kind of encouragement from someone close to your heart. I want you to forget completely about the breakup gift you are planning to give him as he might misunderstand your intention for giving it to himv and might also see it as a bribe for him to leave you as he is facing financial problems. If you really love him as you sasy then continue the relationship and make whatever adjustment you need to make to your personal life.

nieema:
I've been trying to end my 2 year relationship for a few months. There are several reasons but the MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself. I need to make some adjustments to improve my life and I need some space to refocus. I love him but I don't NEED to be in a relationship at this time with anyone. We promised each other that we would always be honest about how we were feeling. I reminded him of this when I tried to break things off six weeks ago. I told him that I would still be there for him if he needed anything. I respect him but I need to take care of some things in my peronal life that require my full attention.
I proposed that we go back to being friends but he rejected my offer. Even though we started as friends he said he isnt willing to have a friendship with me if I end the relationship. I don't think it's fair because I've been genuinely good to him. After much consideration and further frustration, I've decided to break it off tonight face to face. At the moment he is having some financial difficulties and I plan to gift him 40k to help ease the sting. I hope he undersatands that I sincerely care for him as I refocus on my own life.
Would you guys/ladies feel better if your honey left you with a break up gift?..or no??

I understand...I really do.

But its just cos u no longer envisage both of u together. Wen u both tell each other I love u, u feel like u don't love him as much as he does. Like your lyin to him and to urself.

Let's be sincere and 4get about the refocus of a tin...after all u no be pastor. Its not like u have a ministry ahead of u.

ireneony:
ok you are welcome too. There was a thread I created yesterday, without hitting FrontPage it got to 0-5 page and nairaland peeps really contributed to it, but it did not smell front page...but the one that is struggling to get comment or contribution will automatically hit FrontPage within 1hour which is not fair

yea! Got it
.
Mayb d MOD does not get tins d way u do

Who gives break up gifts lol thats the first . It must be the guilt

40k?

Well, that can get me Recharge card

If its a car YES I will accept

It's not just easy to return with being friends with a lover who you still have affection for. It can hardly work unless you've totally lost interest.

Wth is a break up gift? to soothe his pain or something? If you intend to help him out with his financial difficulties kindly do so, and please do not call it "A Break Up Gift"...

Who does that?

nieema:
I've been trying to end my 2 year relationship for a few months. There are several reasons but the MAIN reason is that I am NOT happy with myself. I need to make some adjustments to improve my life and I need some space to refocus. I love him but I don't NEED to be in a relationship at this time with anyone. We promised each other that we would always be honest about how we were feeling. I reminded him of this when I tried to break things off six weeks ago. I told him that I would still be there for him if he needed anything. I respect him but I need to take care of some things in my peronal life that require my full attention.
I proposed that we go back to being friends but he rejected my offer. Even though we started as friends he said he isnt willing to have a friendship with me if I end the relationship. I don't think it's fair because I've been genuinely good to him. After much consideration and further frustration, I've decided to break it off tonight face to face. At the moment he is having some financial difficulties and I plan to gift him 40k to help ease the sting. I hope he undersatands that I sincerely care for him as I refocus on my own life.
Would you guys/ladies feel better if your honey left you with a break up gift?..or no??

@Bolded, this is the reason why you want to end the relationship, forget the long story

If he was doing well and have all the money to lavish on you, you would never want to leave his side for a moment.

Money over everything, I mean EVERYTHING

I will reject it. but anything make me take it, i will gv u one hot one b4 u go surely am telling u.

Dannylux:
It's not just easy to return with being friends with a lover who you still have affection for. It can hardly work unless you've totally lost interest.

Wth is a break up gift? to soothe his pain or something? If you intend to help him out with his financial difficulties kindly do so, and please do not call it "A Break Up Gift"...

Who does that?

Exactly lol never heard of that . Its actually insulting if u ask me.

What are you saying tell us the truth.....you are tired of the broke guy..not that there is anythng wrong with that....i wonder what you want to fix with yourself.Its your choice babe....regardless of our advice.....its your call.

Seriously... If u were in the guys shoe, hw il u feel?

OlamiB:

Why do you always sound frustrated llike this? To the OP, I can't Accept such gift, it will continually be a reminder which I dnt want

lol..dat's d major reason am followin her...d day she changes is d day i'l unfollow her..lol

serioui if I were d guy I no go accept am

nieema:


Am just hoping he knows it's nothing about him. I hope he can consider picking up with me in d future is he is still available

you think you can eat your cake and have it? try harder

Tell him the truth,you have someone else who is distracting you,the most annoying thing you posted us that he us in financial difficulty therefore you will bribe him with 40k...........Rubbish!!!!! i'd rather become a pope

nieema:


Am just hoping he knows it's nothing about him. I hope he can consider picking up with me in d future is he is still available

If that is the case, delete the term " BREAKUP" off ur mind sweetie because, after every breakup, the measurement arent likely to be same when trying to measure up after the breakup therefore, try making him understand that, u just want to focus on something personal for now. THAT IS, IF UR SURE THAT HE TRULY LOVES YOU IF NOT, SHATTER-OFF NOT JUST BREAKUP.

Nairalane:
To Remain Broke Is Better Than Breaking Up. Talk Less Of A Gift For That.

hahaha...but its true shaaa...

Afrobasic:
Op... How did it go Please, tell us, My need for closure is strong!



Good question!!!!

Abi o

9 out of 10 problems are money related. A man must address money issues. 'Love' as it's called, is simply an emotional feeling that flourishes when in the midst of constant cash flow!...

Small issue madam get, she just think am, let me just do away with all the wahalas in my life, include this guy, let me just dey my lane until i fix this other issue. But if the man na correct bobo wey load wella, nna men, na asset, so, lai lai... drop am ke?...In fact his presence alone will help me solve this issue I found myself in.

You know notice, the babe even believe say in the future when she don settle her matter, she go still meet the guy for there, to show you how much the guy rely on the girl....

Men, should be smart, money answereth all things!

In 2012, I gifted an ex- 100,000 naira.

She thought we would get married, she cried.... now she's married with a son. She moved on and I felt at peace.

May God never allow me to come across any lady like you! Gosh your heartlessness is on a new level. What more can I say? Too much of hollywood

Jboy8844:
why not?....just kiding, well, if he accept that money, it virtually mean, he's not truely inlove with you, cos from my calculation, no amount can buy LOVE......#my oppinion though.

yea real love is priceless

[color=#550000][/color]To my own opinion, is like the guy is not meet up to your need that's why you're using some excuses to end the relationship. Can't you just continue the relationship but tell him you need to focus on some things. If you really love him you know need to end it @ all.. Just let him knw you have higher priorities for now and that he should understand that you really love him. Its important that he knows you still love him that's just it. Smiles

tomiobj:
Would uu accept a gift along with your sack letter

OP, it is one thing to break up with a guy primarily because he has financial problems (i know that is probably why you are breaking up with him) and it is a bigger insult to try to offer him money as a parting gift! Move on to the next guy you have found and leave the guy to nurse his wounds. I ain't buying that your story of needing space cos i know another man is involved and he was the one who gave you the 40k to pay the guy off. WOMEN!!

Uhm how i wish busayo could just give me a breakup gift , lobatan,

You need to focus on somthing,wats dat thing dat is so important than love of ur life,if u r just tire of him tell him or u found someone else dats it.

fuckshit:
I do fücking appluad your courage; it's not that fücking easy to tell someone you've been in a relationship with that your fücking breaking up ‘face to face’.

but as for the ‘breakup gift’ being cash that's a whole new different shït; you know him best & what his fücking going through @ the monent; but i can fücking say this most guys would love a fücking whole day of ‘breakup sex’

where did dis one come from.....fu ck kor spoon ni

@op say the truth...... You've met someone else. It's usually hard for a woman to just walk away from a relationship esp when it's been for 2yrs. The guy no long catches you fantasy...period!