Sorry to say but I can't stop laughing at this. I was a victim of such as a kid till I completed secondary school. At a point, I wanted to poison the whole family and we just slept without waking up cos the frustration was too much. I did all sordid errands and more, I was even forced to wear my sisters' ignored dress and shoes. It's either I wore it or keep up with my old rags. I was never given any chance to pursue any desire of mine. Something happened one day and my Dad said "if everyone else does it, it shouldn't be me". I was so depressed that day & wanted to ask if he was actually my biological father. I couldn't ask my mom cos she died before I could recognize her & stepmother always add diesel to the fire.
I survived all the experience with lots of sacrifice which the aftermath are too painful to write about. Definitely I can't forget such experience but forgiving? I hope I can some day.

cbjonstage:


good advice bad recommendation. that is anoda trauma for d youngman

Be needs to be cautious for his own safety.

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

Your father is blaming you for his woes. Better still find out about your conception and birth cos I just can't comprehend why a father would hate his son with so much passion. Meanwhile the best revenge you can show them is to become really successful . Tune your anger into positive motivation. Take heart

Get yourself out of his sight completely ,look for a friend,relatives or any member of your church that keep you away from him,he surely look for you when the time comes .Staying under the same roof with him will you physically mentally and spiritually. you become nothing and nothing good with happened to you.His inner spiritual power is against you and not his fault .The darkness of world evelop him against you.therefore move away., fast and some night prayer take through .you going succeed in life .be a man..put mind your at peace. Don't forget fasting and prayer ..Move away,move away ,move away,I warn you God bless you.

umm, i hope you would be able to take d good advice and void the wrong ones, cos much has be said here. well, apologize to ur mum, tell her u feel so sorry for ur wrongs and that you don't know how you're being blamed for all ur mistakes. tell her sometimes u wonder how some certain things occurs. it only ur mother that can understand if u bend down to her. above all, i don't know your age anyway. that might be ur God given spirit, that might also be an evil spirit. so commend ur worries to God, there's nothing he can't do!!

If you are old enough to stand on your own, then leave he fvcking house

jaymejate:
Haa, this is heavy.

You really need to ask your mom some serious questions. Cos there are things that can make a man behave like that to a child. Please Question your mom.
1... How he met your dad
2... Were you given birth to out of wedlock
3... Sorry for this buh ask ask all the same. Is that man really your dad?
4... Think on more question to ask her. Her replies will give you a bit hint to get a solution.

Pls ask Wisely.

And also please pray very well. You can even get to consult any counselor for counsel or a PASTOR.

I hope ur dad will read this...
Dad, beating and hatred can't change a Child. If he/she becomes great later, you might not be recognized and you don lose be dat. Why don't you treat with Love and care. And pray also for your children.


God bless you!

all that will ? Will not change anything about the dad, it simple your dad want you to discover yaself.
have see and been a victim,mine was even worst, but now am powerful,richer,influencial than him, and we still don't see eye to eye.
Op your best bet is
1. Move out of the house best and only advice i can give
blessed be

Jabioro:
Get yourself out of his sight completely ,look for a friend,relatives or any member of your church that keep you away from him,he surely look for you when the time comes .Staying under the same roof with him will you physically mentally and spiritually. you become nothing and nothing good with happened to you.His inner spiritual power is against you and not his fault .The darkness of world evelop him against you.therefore move away., fast and some night prayer take through .you going succeed in life .be a man..put mind your at peace. Don't forget fasting and prayer ..Move away,move away ,move away,I warn you God bless you.

brother, moving away from d house is never d best solution. he shud stoop low to his parents, especially his mum. cos when ur mum is tired of u, then you got no peace. be respectful, stop challenging ur parents all d time. & if u did all this, and u prayed as well, if you didn't see change. then be aware you're ready to live on ur own. but try all I've told u for straight one month!!

Therock5555:

Right from even before I knew my name I was severely beaten like an animal for every offence you could think of, peeing on the bed, playing outside, looking under my mom's wrapper (who taught me this at that age remains a mystery). I was treated like an outcast like I just jumped out of my mom's womb. He even told me that if my mom was not a Christian he would have questioned my parentage.

you deserve to be beaten for that useless attitude

200 strokes sef, under the rain

u be real black sheep

iPopAlomo:
Lmao... hahaha... like you just wrote a bit of my story... you know what...? it's all a phase... you'll get over it... how do I know... because I did...

Yours is even small... it's nothing compared to mine...

Oya open your own thread na.You no go like Front page?

What kind of Father is this?

ModiKen:


So u quote the whole post to write dis small tin....?

Receive sense!

The poster above me also need to "Receive sense"!

@OP....move out of that house, no matter what it takes cos if you don't, due to your depressed state you may even begin to consider taking you life.

No excuses, move out of that house and stay as far as you can from your dad or you would lose you sanity or even worse, commit suicide.

9ce one dude. But remember fathers are never wrong b4 ther children. Leave d house and visit once a while

Therock5555:


My parents married legally in church and I'm the second child and first male


I have doubted my parentage lots of times because I was the only child among my siblings given birth to in the village, maybe I was exchange by some faggort nurses because I don't behave one bit like any body else in the house

The cower in fear while he speaks, I oppose him when he speaks uncorted lies.

BTW he's a preacher so nothing seems wrong to him. If I begin to spill everything, I might run out of pages

Stop opposing/arguing with him. Even if you don't agree with some of his decision, ordinary "yes sir" / "OK sir" will kill such argument

I trust Akpos in this situation. Warri nor dey carry last. Do something that everybody will regret. Set fire in his house & let everyone walk away disacted

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

the fact is that you are at fault in everything happening to you. I can tell you categorically that most of the abuse you feel you are bring subjected to are exaggerated because you are viewing everything from the victim perspective, clearly you are disappointing your parents in one Way or the other. No proud parent will treat his or her child like this if not that they aren't proud of who you have become or who you will become. You sulk around your home, you take things too personally and you automatically believe they are against you simply because they disagree with you. Mr man grow up. Change your ways, be a better son, be a better brother to your siblings, accept your lot in life by trying to see things from your parents eyes first, it's in understanding first that people are understood, you haven't ever tried to understand your parents rather you believe they both hate you. I say this with confidence on two reasons, if you are being treated unfairly as the first born son by your father, your mum wil revolt but so far she says nothing and agrees with your old man then u get sko sko for head, and secondly I was everything you just mentioned above, the only difference is that I spent many a night tied up after serious beating for fingering my aunties or throwing my friend into a soak away pit and covering it up in hope he died. Despite my devilshness I played the victim card just as you are doing till I became a man and realised i could have been landlord pickin thanks to the devil's in me as well as my behaviour. The moment I changed my ways to accepting my parents and siblings as my life, I also started understanding them too, after awhile they now understand me too. Cheers

Ravenwolf:
You can't stay in that house forever bro. I ran way from home at 16 because of similar experience. For some reason I was the black sheep of the family and nothing I ever did was right. The abuse reached a crescendo the night when everyone stayed up till 2am abusing me. I knew right then that I had to leave. To maintain my sanity, to protect my emotional well being. Thank God I didn't look back.


Even though it's been seven years since I left home, I have many mental scars from. My experience.

1. I absolutely cannot trust anyone, There's a huge wall around me that ensures that no one ever can will be my friend in the real sense. I yearn for deeper connection with people, but somehow along the line I end up pushing them away.

2. I battle daily with self esteem Issues. I get told I am an amazing person to be with by People I interact with and acquaintances, but because of my bruised psyche, a gnawing feeling of inadequacy cancels it out. Usually I believe anyone who pays me a compliment doesn't mean it.

3. I became so closeted and socially inept leading me to self isolation.
4. Rage/Anger issues like you can never imagine.
5. Inability to initiate or accept being in an intimate relationship.

I am not so sure, but I think my family's ill treatment is the number one reason why I turned out the way I did. A lot of their ill treatment was cloaked in Religion. The Church and pastor this pastor that. They all knew what was going on but they chose to ignore the fact that I was being mistreated in my own family. Till this day, I haven't fully recovered nor forgiven all the people who mistreated me. There's so much anger bottled up in me. They are the reason I turned out such a wack job.

Now NL is a faceless forum, I am not looking for pity, I am just sharing my experience of what prolonged Emotional abuse can do to a person. It's even much more dangerous. If it's physical abuse, you can still recover from the welts on your backside. But how do you recover from wounds unseen




Please no quotes or mentions.

Mtcheww, who wan pity you before....I don quote you anyway!

If you like choose not to recover, its your life

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

my advice 4 u nah to move cummut frm dat house....nd go make something of urself....if u stay in that house u mit not b able to fufil Gods prophecy in ur life..just garther courage ,find sumtin to do to earn u sumtin no matter how little.,find a good frnd far from ur house that stays alone ,buck with d person nd keep praying...#nobodywhennofittomakeamoh GOD of Shiloh 2015 will visit u 2day nd ur father

Nairaland:The only place where people who don't know jackshit can pretend to be good therapists.

People they really pass through things sha.
Anyway,after reading all this,i simply went on my knees and said a prayer 'God thank you for my own kinda father'.**i think I really should open a thread about my father even**
Best dad in the whole world.In his mid 60s,in my mid 20s and we de discuss babe matter once once.Now that's something you don't see everyday as pertaining a typical Nigerian dad.

Ps:If you really wanted your dad to see this,why didn't you at least tag him.Was really expecting to see a comment from him before I read up to page 4**disappointed**Tag the nigga mehn..Let's go all Dr Phil up in this Shiit.

To conclude,i'll rephrase St Paul's admonition to the Philipian church (3:13-14)
"...but this one thing I do,forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are ahead. I press toward 'being the kind of father to my kids that i'd have loved my father to be to me'"

PRAYER is important at dis point above all other means. It could be enemies working against ur destiny thereby using ur parents especially ur dad.Never curse ur parents to die,rather pray against evil spirit manipulating.

Pls.check ur excess behavior and change for good,it could be youthful exuberant.

Look unto Jesus d author and finisher of faith.

Therock5555:


I have doubted my parentage lots of times because I was the only child among my siblings given birth to in the village, maybe I was exchange by some faggort nurses because I don't behave one bit like any body else in the house

Forget all this ish

Dude youre in control of your life so You have to take n make decisions based on your own view , he cant force you

If what you want is what you want go for it

It'll be hard but still God will see you through.

You sure say na him born you? #thinkingoutloud

He's just jealous now. He needs humility.

festusperry:
my advice 4 u nah to move cummut frm dat house....nd go make something of urself....if u stay in that house u mit not b able to fufil Gods prophecy in ur life..just garther courage ,find sumtin to do to earn u sumtin no matter how little.,find a good frnd far from ur house that stays alone ,buck with d person nd keep praying...#nobodywhennofittomakeamoh GOD of Shiloh 2015 will visit u 2day nd ur father

.

My brother you just talk wetin I dey reason. I went through same like the OP and I was always complaining. but I got the best advice of my life from my favorite uncle. He told me that the issues im complaining about will never go away or stop as far as I stay under same roof with the old man, the only day it would stop is if I move out of the house and make something of my life. God bless him!

The way you described your parents, i can really feel your pain. The man is a preacher, what does he really preach. He is a bad man or i say he dont know how to train a child, you are not his child. Ask him. No matter how bad a child behaves, the father and mother would not leave him or do to him things they cant even do to a maid. Leave that house your opportunity is outside in the world.
God thank you for giving me my parents. Loving and kind to all their children. i will tell you, from your write up. They are not ur parents

Don't mind your Father. My Dad did the same and today he's regretting. Why? Because every family member avoid him, even his grand children. He's now lonely and craves for everyone's attention which he can't find. I pray your father realizes soon because he will be the one to pay for it. Every toxic people should be avoided. Even though, he saw me through school, but he made sure I payed every kobo with my cry or with my sweat.

Now that he's lonely, I'm trying to love him, but I don't know how to do that. Due to past memories of him cursing, beating us like animals and slaves

lasisi69:
End time Dad

There are many of them like this out there,

They are the only one that is wise and they won't listen to corrections / advise.

My own advise for Rocky is to find a means of staying away from him.

I am so sure that if he can look up to God, one day they will look up to him.

One philosopher once said "Give a child a little love and you will make joyful bells ring in heaven's streets..."

Some parents are just the causes of whatever become of their children.

Can you imagine this?

chocolateme:
Hmm!! Most times, the blessing and curses of our parents affects our lives positively or negatively and yours is constantly and won't stop till you become broken.
This can lead to child rebellion against his parents, an over clouded judgement which it's result can be disastrous.
I suggest that you leave that house now while your sanity is still intact to avoid landing in prisons soon due to lose of control and the devil took over. You must have relations or friends in case your dad asks your relations to throw u out. Find a way yo stay away from him and pursue your career and get your life together even if you have to suffer through physical hardship but I bet it's better than staying at home and been bounded by curses and bad luck. Remember you are a man, if you continue absorbing this, you may end up like him to your children tomorrow and eventually they will never be a blessing to u.
So fight hard and trust God, with all pure heart, you will be a blessing to your family if not now, then later. Sorry for what you are passing through.

God is your strength, you'd be fine. Am sure that God has quelled the situation however you should consider this persons ideas above my write. Surely scriptures fulfilling no love between parents and children, please Father help your faithful children in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen

If he wish u dead,wish him heaven.

Permit me to say a few words in my own understanding.

That man may not hate you but may be fighting a battle for you which he thinks you are unable to fight.

Maybe he feels he is a failure in life and he sees himself so much in you that's why he is being so tough with you. He's trying to make sure you don't toe his path.

A lot of dads are like that bro. Change your approach to life and do things differently from the way you do and show him more respect.

Peace

chocolateme:
Hmm!! Most times, the blessing and curses of our parents affects our lives positively or negatively and yours is constantly and won't stop till you become broken.
This can lead to child rebellion against his parents, an over clouded judgement which it's result can be disastrous.
I suggest that you leave that house now while your sanity is still intact to avoid landing in prisons soon due to lose of control and the devil took over. You must have relations or friends in case your dad asks your relations to throw u out. Find a way yo stay away from him and pursue your career and get your life together even if you have to suffer through physical hardship but I bet it's better than staying at home and been bounded by curses and bad luck. Remember you are a man, if you continue absorbing this, you may end up like him to your children tomorrow and eventually they will never be a blessing to u.
So fight hard and trust God, with all pure heart, you will be a blessing to your family if not now, then later. Sorry for what you are passing through.

@op -there's undoubtedly something wrong with your father and he's taking it out on you. If he's having doubts about being your dad or would repeatedly and convincingly say that to you that, to many, is a failure that no man would want to experience bc in his mind there's this lingering possibility that he was played by your mom and now he's forced to lived by a potential farce everyday, while maintaining a family man image (maybe for that church and his family). The list of potential failures is typically long and enduring for these types while it consumes them. This is where it gets interesting; many resort to substance abuse, religiosity, or other symptoms of mental health and behavioral issues including harboring severe disdain for those around them, especially if they see you're trying to do better in life. The old adage applies; misery loves company. Don't buy into the "that is tough love" bûllshit. There's no love there. This is a principle reason why many people are or become natural-born Haters

If you can, leave. Everyone is suggesting that you should refrain from doing anything evil in retaliation, but he may do something evil if/when seeing you potentially happy. See @bold