i 'll drop her like its hot..... with this mindset the marriage is dead on arrival cause it will start with common salt.....

DonCortino:
Its not late for you yet, God has just used her friend to expose the type of wife she will be. Read the handwriting on the wall!

Abi o. OP, you have not found a wife. People like that hardly change. People with wives like that hardly succeed in life. Don't be surprised that you'll still be living in your rented 2 bedroom flat by your 30th wedding anniversary. REAL wives support their husbands financially and otherwise.

Oga run fast now before its too late.

She is NAÏVE!

OP, You want a supportive wife and she says cannot support her husband financially. If so, you two are incompatible.

Tell her what you want in a wife.

If she decides to change her mindset and stick around, fine. If not, na 'on to the next fiancee' tinz for you.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

show her the way naa

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!

Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

If you like her enough to want to marry her YOU MUST address this issue before marriage....i made the mistake of not addressing the exact same issue

from your post, it does sound to me like she's a bad person...the problem is only ignorance....part of your marriage counselling must include a solid financial counselling where independent and professional views are considered

you can buzz me privately for further discussion

DonCortino:
Its not late for you yet, God has just used her friend to expose the type of wife she will be. Read the handwriting on the wall!

God bless you.

Listen to this advice or check it in 5 years time with regret.

I guess God wants to showhim his real wife. That's why He brought up that discussion between both ladies. He should dump that lady ASAP.. I don't believe in sharing financial resPonsibility with a lady but if things are rough for me,my lady should Be able to step in for the main time.

Funminicrown:
Drop her and make her friend your latest fiancee since she's also a new catch.
Tell her you need a helpmate not a liability, if she queries your decision.

Bros be careful with Ladies, especially the ones that you have relationship with. Ladies are wise and intelligent. I can assure you that babe just said all she said to see your reaction. You said you guys met through match-making and it is obvious she's still trying to know you better.

What is the meaning of stick around ??

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

The bullet that wants to kill you just narrowly missed your head and hit your cap and you are still standing?.............My guy "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE SHARP SHARP"

What happens the days u have no job or u r moving from one job to another or u are out of town and short of cash or your relative need financial help from you.
These r issues we deal with daily and if she is not their to support u will be gutted@ some point.
Some mindset r hard to change. If u can live with it fyn if not run.

2sexycom:
Bro, I would have said dump her but having grown wiser, it is not the best to end a relationship on the basis of one's imperfection, hence the need to mould someone into a better being. That is the reason for our co-existence as humans, leaving them better than you met them.

There is no complete package anywhere.

You need to sit her down and talk to her at length. Let her know where you stand and what you feel about her words. She may not likely change but your conscience would be clear that you tried.

one question for you bro..
The clear conscience, is it after the marriage

Many Nigerians on this thread are lazy buffoons.

Does this even make sense? She will go to work, cook, clean, phuck you, then give you her hard earned money after....

You're bunch of thieves, thieves.

Some women are like that.
Can this be changed? Seems like her mind is set up already and also, i think it started from the type of home she grew up in.
She is stingy and that's it!
Sge doesn't have to date tons of men before knowing that helping a partner is appreciated.

Some women are like that.
Can this be changed? Seems like her mind is set up already and also, i think it started from the type of home she grew up in.
She is stingy and that's it!
She doesn't have to date tons of men before knowing that helping a partner is appreciated.

I bet you don't want to marry a woman who thinks that way, because one day she'll surely call you a lazy man and curse you in front of your children. Some people are fortunate enough not to have seen life from both sides and have the mindset that life is made to be perfect. Such people believe that others are poor because they are lazy, that successful people worked hard the most and she's better than her mates today because of the stricter and tougher upbringing she got from her mum. SMH. My friend, there's no acceptable excuse to this kind of person. Her perception of life is too shallow.

Give her a real life test and see for yourself if she can be your rock when the storms come - for surely, the storms will come!

On top of that, the woman will get pregnant and still take care of your lazy asses...

No wonder marriages don't last. LoooL

and women would rather go for men who will take care of them.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

Bro, this is very simple If she doesn't want to be a supportive wife, It means she doesn't need to work or do any business. Perhaps she wants to be a full time house wife, then you will not need to hire a nanny, gateman or even take your suits to the laundries. She should be responsible for all of that, at least those are not financial assistance. Whenever she needs money for her hair do, make sure you delay it for at least two weeks, since it's the duty of the man to provide all financial needs it should always be the duty of a man to take all decision, don't consult her for anything, let's see how far she can go.

Even in the days of old, "wives" help out in the farm to increase the family finance and food. Just give a little test to see if she means it.

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

forget hers words she doesn't mean dem. if she loves u, she will support d family financially except she doesn't love u

obowunmi:
Is the OP saying he can't afford to take care of himself and needs to lach onto a woman to feed?

That's one of the fastest ways to lose respect.

oh puleez zip it! life is never full of roses.... there is always a time in a man's hustle when he would have his dry season. if a woman cannot even spend N1 on u even in your rainy days then she is lacking parta d criteria of being a good wife.

God forbid he loses his job and during another hustle of getting another, it is then he would see the demon in her.

deyemia:


Thanks, she's actually a medical doctor

my broda leave medical doctor..na wetin you go chop? marriage is for better for worse and she is only thinking about herself..if u marry her and maybe business is bad and your children are in sch..ofcus she can afford it..she wont pay it o.. una go drink garri..

faruku104:


oh puleez zip it! life is never full of roses.... there is always a time in a man's hustle when he would have his dry season. if a woman cannot even spend N1 on u even in your rainy days then she is lacking parta d criteria of being a good wife.

God forbid he loses his job and during another hustle of getting another, it is then he would see the demon in her.

Lazy men have landed.... Ole. Ole. Ole.

obowunmi:


Lazy man.... ole!! Olee

Why think about marriage if you're poor and broke? I bet you still live with your parents.

all I see is display of arrogance... stop being a f^ck boy

deyemia:
The Person I Intend To Marry Just Told Me This!!!


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

in my opinion i think she is a very sting lady..What that word again eheneh ARGON!

Why doesn't the OP find another lazy poor woman to marry... preferably a bread seller.

Estharfabian:

Not Only is Her mentality Archaic, It's Outrightly Irrational, Pathetic and dumb.

LoL!

So! The Only thing she'd bring to the table is her Pûssy? Baby Making machine?
I wouldn't Call her A Wife. I'd call her A Parasitic Being.
Coz Last time I checked, the holy book stated as thus:

"God assigned the married woman the responsibility of being a helpmate to her husband ( Genesis 2:18 , 20)." Not just some fûck mate, baggage or a baby producing machine.


...Trust me, You don't want such woman in your house!
Coz money for maggi, salt, tissue paper, pad, matchboxes would be on You.

Well, except she changes that fûcked up mentality she's got.

What even makes you think she will not be selfish with her pussy? The dude said she is an effiko she might even start quoting some yeye books about sex just once in a month as the norm. You never can tell. I pity the guy a bit, the babe comes from a background that has taught her nothing about life I must say except for formal education. This is serious, and with the way the guy narrated the ordeal she must be stubborn, best B Run.

halfricanadian:
rubbish mindset

with d lesson wey i don learn i av to be fuly responsible for my sef hubby money goes to d kids.

U no go use hubby money buy things for urself?

Dis is probably d joke of d day.

Women and their hubbies pocket ar 5 & 6.

Bro, wise up. She never meant all she said about not being supportive. Remember the saying; action speaks louder than voice. To prove me wrong, put her into a test. Spend token on her. You can just buy her a stuff; something she adores. Sometimes when u go out, get her ice cream. I knw she will like it. After a week or two interval, cook a story that sounds to be true and requires money. Make sure it is not more than the amount she can afford. What happens next will surely amaze you. Don't leave her becos of her words, her actions count most. Finally, what you give, you will receive.

[quote author=cruzita post=43536721] just tell me she is joking especially the garri part,which kind woman in her right senses will do that.abeg make I hear[/quote...bro there are a thousand and one she tells you she ain't supporting shit n u think she's joking not at all speaking from personal experience. She told me she doesn't support n I thought it was a joke. Now we are married all stuffs is on me she sends her money home to her parents...am married now and can't afford to break my home so I just go to live with it...so my guy think deeply oooo]

If a woman I want to marry says that she would not support me then what exactly is she to me? Why am I getting married to her? Are there women that actually think like this in this day and age?

Bro you are lucky that your relationship is 3 months old so there is still time to retrace your steps. The fact that she has some 'redeemable' qualities does not make her a wife material, period. By definition a wife is supposed to be your help mate, so if a woman tells you categorically that she would NOT support you when you get married, then she is NOT a wife, plain and simple!

My advice is simple, End this relationship NOW while you still can and don't even bother testing her as she has already revealed her true character. And don't even think about trying to change her, because PEOPLE LIKE THIS DO NOT CHANGE.

Broken relationship is better than broken home.....that is evil mind set to me