Fabulocity:
As in ehn... this kinda talk dey pepper them wella

hibiscus76:
its a pity no one talks about Love anymore... marriage shouldn't be all about money oo OP..

Fabulocity:
As in ehn... this kinda talk dey pepper them wella

RaggedyAnn:




I think it was clear. True success is not accidental. It's a convergence of several variables: diligence, intelligence, discipline, drive, focus, and a bit of luck too. These are all desirable qualities in a potential mate (or even just friends). And people who exhibit these traits eventually become successful. Money follows naturally.

Now you might want to throw people like Melaye into the category of successful men, but I don't think he cuts it. He might be wealthy, yes, but how did he get there? We all know that most of these politicians are thieves who have nothing to contribute except the cash. A man who has built himself into a success at his legitimate field may not have the stupid cash these politicians throw around, but he would have a bank of lessons learned, and the character that he's honed over the time it took to get his wealth. It's durable.

The post is not implying that if a man runs into some bad luck, a woman should leave him. It simply suggests that consistent failures should be looked at critically because they may be as a result of a series of bad decisions which may prove a level of indiscipline, immaturity, or laziness. These qualities have ways of affecting a relationship negatively too. And yes, guys are also free to make such inferences.

Daeylar:


I've seen the offending paragraph, well what can I say, maybe she would explain better,

what I'm saying though is that she never stated that it's all about money (which is what some posters were trying to accuse her of doing) and that is what she maintained to this point, it's about the fact that everyone has standards and the ladies shouldn't be shamed for having such standards which you seem to agree with.

connectpoint:
4


Na wa oh..Where have you been ?

greyboy5000:
again you bring back money to support your argument

greyboy5000:

Well what I was saying is the that hard work doesn't equate money gotten at least at some stage, otherwise labouers will have been the richest in the world

greyboy5000:
Now ops post clearly insult some people(broke guys) as a way to look down on them and justify her decision, otherwise why mention them at all
She use derogratry words like uneducated and lack of intelligence to make them look bad
Now i pointed to Dino malaye and Evans who are rich but not worthy of Parises she gave to rich guys in her post to counter her

greyboy5000:
Now back to my analogy which you twisted

greyboy5000:
There no evidence to suggest in life that lack of immediate success is as result of giving up. Hence, your fat guy analogy won't work

greyboy5000:
So if a guy keep trying and he is ambitious as the lady but not as immediately lucky as his gf
Should you suggest the lady leave for another guy or stick to him because of attributes such as the hard work, passion and drive

Daeylar:


This is just the issue,

Atleast I can see some reasonable men understand the op's point and agree with the her

itsmeurLady:


Dey use the biological clock thingy for ladies that don't kno themselves.... dem Genevieve If they declare today that they are searching, men will still throw themselves at them... Linda Ikeji nko... Beauty with brains is never stale!!!!

DeeTus:
I have been around. Please leave call girls alone to continue to showcase their trade online.

DeeTus:
I have been around. Please leave call girls alone to continue to showcase their trade online.

Lubyna:


Sorry about my statement about you not being able to read. I didn't mean to be rude. That wasn't even my intention.

Women and men aren't the same. Men don't go into relationships for the same reasons as women and men certainly don't have the same needs or responsibilities as women. A guy dating a woman who is hardworking but broke, isn't the equivalent of a woman dating a guy who is broke. Men are conventionally, and I'd argue naturally the providers in a relationship. Women are naturally inclined to want their man to take the driving seat in the relationship, in all aspects. To put it plainly, women want men who can provide and take care of them. It doesn't mean she shouldn't strive to be financially successful, but this is the reality of relationships. On the other hand, no man goes into a relationship expecting his woman to take care of him. In fact, most men prefer to be more financially successful than their partners. I hope I have answered your question?

Don't bring me back to this. I have already explained what I meant. Yes. Being financially successful is indicative of intelligence. Intelligence is a broad them that admits of various definitions, but my definition of intelligence, which subsumes most of the definitions which you'd come across anywhere, is being able to utilize acquired knowledge in solving problems. And why are you fixating on Intelligence? There are other qualities I mentioned alongside intelligence that being wealthy is indicative of. Dino and Evans are intelligent people. Dino is a wealthy politician who has occupied various high level political posts in the past. You have to be intelligent to be able to do this. Evans was able to kidnap lots of people, gain profit from the act and remain hidden and undetected for many years. Only an intelligent person can achieve this. I am not in anyway justifying the morally reprehensible crimes of Evans and the bad things Dino Malaye has done in the past. I am just trying to answer your question about whether or not they are intelligent. When I say someone is financially successful, hardworking, ambitious and goal oriented, and wants someone who shares the same traits as she does, I am obviously not referring to people like Evans and Dino. The kind of women I categorically referred to in my OP certainly aren't concerned about just money. Money is a standard among other standards. Certainly this kind of woman would examine the past and present of her potential spouse. She'd date someone who she knows his source of income, and who she is certain this source of income is safe and won't jeopardize her life in the future. Obviously someone like Evans and yahoo boys don't fit this criteria. You are making it seem like all financially successful men are touts or kidnappers and all broke guys are morally upright.

majekdom2:
can I define you in two words. negative and positive. You are Non tolerating and a go getter. You believe it must "Happen". If it's no happening then there is something wrong somewhere. Whilst it's good to always make it happen and ascertain checks when it's not happening. There are certain answers to questions life will never give us answers to. You need some little philosophy. It will help

connectpoint:


Well good to see you today..God help us..How is Abuja...how are you guys coping therewith the continuous absence of Bubu ?

Lubyna:
They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to.

Lubyna:
One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed pathetic.

How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does? How can a financially ambitious woman lower her standards and spend years waiting for some guy "who has potential" to make it? Let me unpack this last statement because it's a bit radioactive. There are different gradations of potential and that's why I used quotation marks. There are men who have an education that confers a high competitive advantage in the job market, or skills that can catapult them to high rungs on the financial ladder. If a financially ambitious woman meets this kind of guy and he is working hard everyday to become financially stable and secure, then she can lower her standards a bit and grind with him, but only for a while. If after few months or years and this guy isn't making any progress and she decides to go, no one should blame her. Maybe the guy isn't smart enough or isn't just lucky enough. She has the right to leave him and find someone who is financially compatible with her. Yes.
But this only applies to men who have real potential, not some guy who just has a degree or skills and isn't taking diligent steps to improve his finances.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education. It's not the fault of a financially ambitious woman who is financially bouyant herself if she doesn't want to mingle with broke people, let alone date them.

Instead of dating a guy that has good qualities, the kind of women I am referring to would rather find financially bouyant and ambitious men like themselves, and then proceed to look for these good qualities. And YES they are justified in doing that. Abi is it only broke guys that have good qualities?

Lastly, if any guy is asking out women who don't fall into the category of women I am referring to, then such guy has low standards and deserves the rejection he is receiving from his fellow broke girl.

Lubyna:
One thing I have realized from reading comments on this website is that a lot of men do not understand that some women have certain financial standards when it comes to dating, and nothing can make them lower those standards. So guys, when a lady says she can't date a broke guy, try to first ruminate on the information I want to pass across before deciding to label her with derogatory appellations.

When I say some ladies, this "some" constitutes a certain category of ladies. This category includes ladies who are ambitious, hardworking and goal oriented. They are aren't idle or ignorant. They are intelligent, well informed and most times are financially bouyant. These are the kind of women I am categorically referring to. If this kind of woman says she can't date a broke guy, then she is justified in making such statement, and any guy who insults her for making such statement or tries to refute her statement with the kind of pathetic comments I read here, is indeed pathetic.

How does anyone expect a woman who is working towards being financially successful and expending time and energy towards this goal, to settle for some guy who earns WAY less than she does? How can a financially ambitious woman lower her standards and spend years waiting for some guy "who has potential" to make it? Let me unpack this last statement because it's a bit radioactive. There are different gradations of potential and that's why I used quotation marks. There are men who have an education that confers a high competitive advantage in the job market, or skills that can catapult them to high rungs on the financial ladder. If a financially ambitious woman meets this kind of guy and he is working hard everyday to become financially stable and secure, then she can lower her standards a bit and grind with him, but only for a while. If after few months or years and this guy isn't making any progress and she decides to go, no one should blame her. Maybe the guy isn't smart enough or isn't just lucky enough. She has the right to leave him and find someone who is financially compatible with her. Yes.
But this only applies to men who have real potential, not some guy who just has a degree or skills and isn't taking diligent steps to improve his finances.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education. It's not the fault of a financially ambitious woman who is financially bouyant herself if she doesn't want to mingle with broke people, let alone date them.

Instead of dating a guy that has good qualities, the kind of women I am referring to would rather find financially bouyant and ambitious men like themselves, and then proceed to look for these good qualities. And YES they are justified in doing that. Abi is it only broke guys that have good qualities?

Lastly, if any guy is asking out women who don't fall into the category of women I am referring to, then such guy has low standards and deserves the rejection he is receiving from his fellow broke girl.

Secretario:


Beauty with brains is never stale?

Beauty with brains still depreciate.

Even our die-for jollof rice goes stale!
�

Lubyna:


Thanks.

I will be ready. I am always ready to defend the truth.

myking95:


SMH. This is what happens because of excess Rapunzel and Cinderella stories, confusing men and creating a generation of beta males...(thank God I snapped out of the feminine imperative). Listen I have seen women very pretty, once past their bloom, the beauty while still there isn't that enough to make me go gaga.
Real men don't women as the objective or goal of their lives, they merely spice up an already made life...I want to be rich, not for the hope of marrying some pretty girl,but cuz I wanna be rich. By the way give me $100 million dollars and a 10 of the world's most pretty women (without their money), I'll take the money any day. I probably feel better wearing an expensive watch or reaching a target ( learning that new skill, developing that prototype to it's next stage, or whatever) than getting laid with a woman on scale 10..(unless of course she can help me be better and get more knowledge, skill or money). So the coochie ain't everything.
Finally I've learnt that as a guy, once u r focused on achieving...people, not just women get attracted to you.
Women want to sleep with you just for the primal need regardless of their relationship status or commitments.
At 15 I used to think of getting married and living in love and all that, now I'm checking scriptures to get moral backing to get a surrogate mama 4 years from now and arrange a contract marriage or better yet concubinage. I want to live long and not be in a fool's paradise.
God gave the planet to men to dominate but men are becoming stupid these days.
If you are a man and u have ever overlooked a more qualified male candidate for a job, contract, offer etc just because some female offered you sex, I don't care how old u are, on behalf of he real men association...you are STUPID.
If you are a man and you let your single mum emotionally blackmail you into hating and neglecting your father...on behalf of the real men out there....YOU ARE STUPID.
If you are one of those, who squander public funds on harlots...on behalf of the real men, You are STUPID.

Women are using sex as a tool to destroy men, and you are being foolish...u need a hard resetting slap.

Get a life...get ambition...relationships are not everything.
Build your man and these ladies will desire you out of their primal need.

What most guys don't realize is that being broke or just having enough money to subsist, are indicative of certain traits women in general aren't attracted to. Traits like laziness, unintelligence, lack of ambition, bad luck, and a lack of good education.

Gourdoinc:
small small girls everywhere. you haven't seen anything. my dear tomorrow is always pregnant. on a tree in season not all fruits ripen at the same time. it doesn't make one fruit better or sweeter than the other because they reopened differently. as someone who was born into very great wealth and later lost some of it. I have seen grace to grass, I have also seen grass to grace and one thing I know is that wealth and success is a visitor and only good luck and chance brings it to your home. nobody works harder than the truck pusher, amongst yahoo boys some have been on it for years and made no Kobo and a little boy joins tomorrow and gets a million dollars. everyone on earth will bear his or name. we might all look alike but will have different destinies. it's not completely based on intelligence or hard work.

God gives life and success to whom he pleases and when he pleases. the devil also takes from whom he pleases and when he pleases. if whom you love is rich today and successful thank God for that gift and pray the devil never remembers your family. if whom you love is currently broke, have faith that God will remember your family and bring wealth and devil will never see you.

genuine love an intention is everything. marriage and love is like a seed you plant and God and good luck twined with good destiny will water and nourish it and hopefully wealth and greatness will come.

wealth is meaningless when you have had it and seen something else. we have been there, up and down and today we moving up again and I have realised. Na God get every every. my efforts are just for man. if God no gree all your efforts shall be in vain. cheers

PS. lubyna, raggedyann

greyboy5000:
Apology accepted

Now back to the argument
Now you are using a 15century logic to back up your arguments
Where on earth is it a law that men should be a provider or the only provider in a relationship
Well some guys in which I am part of prefare to have an independent lady for a reason you know
So what advice will you give a guy like me, in case she looses her independence?

Secondly, no i am not making it sound like every successful person is a rouge but rather you painted a very bad picture of broke guys which I tried to correct

Finally, now that you claim it takes some form of intelligence to kidnap or do yahooyahoo, are you indirectly suggesting broke guys try that so that can appear intelligent to successful ladies like you even if they not good or morally upright( your words not mine)

RaggedyAnn:



How can you say this when in your last post you claimed I was running from the issue which you claim is clearly about money. Now you're saying I'm bringing money into the issue again?




I listed a several attributes, including diligence, that translate to success. But you keep limiting that list to one or two. Laborers aren't even necessarily the hardest workers in the world as hard work doesn't necessarily mean you would be using your hands. Intellectual capacity is, in some cases, even more marketable than muscles.





Maybe to this I should just say sorry again. But she categorizes broke guys as those who are perceived to have potential and those who are perceived not to have potential. Where she advises women to give a chance to a man she considers to have potential, she warns against investing too much time in a man without a plan. What is insulting about that? Then she says those broke guys who have been unable to improve themselves may be battling certain traits that sabotage success. Like a lack of intelligence, or lack of education, or laziness, et al.....traits that are naturally unattractive and may also influence a relationship negatively. Is this what you consider insulting? It's a process of troubleshooting.






I did not twist your analogy it's intact. You said that the boy had demonstrated his drive graduating top of his class and then was unable to get a job. You left it hanging at that.





A lack of immediate success might not be as a result of giving up, but giving up does lead to a lack of success. And in my analogy, I clearly stated that the lady resigns and stops exercising. Choosing to blame her weight on bad genetics, even though she had once successfully lost the weight by being disciplined and driven. The point is that these qualities have to be demonstrated consistently. I made this analogy to fill the gap you left with the guy who could not get a job after graduation. I said he needs to re-evaluate his position in the face of his disappointments and channel his drive into something worthwhile.





But now you say that he keeps trying...........which is good and it's the point I made earlier: consistent drive and diligence and intelligent decision making, et al. But if you're referring to consistently pounding the pavement for several years, then he has not re-evaluated his position. Ambition, drive and diligence is not demonstrated in a vacuum. So, in everything, it's important to be honest with one's self; excuses will always exist. And if one tries to justify his plight, that's not very hard to do.

nahzyla:

Thank God for the unbiased ones.
Honestly many nairaland me have issues. they start threads talking about how women should behave in order to get married early. how they should not depend on a guy for any thing but be ambitious and provide alongside their husbands. This thread is basically turning the tables saying women also deserve ambitious guys that can provide equally like their wives and they are here foaming at the mouth and insulting women like crazed lunatics.

misano:



Exactly... I joined D thread late but men ur replies are 101% on point.

Gourdoinc:
small small girls everywhere. you haven't seen anything. my dear tomorrow is always pregnant. on a tree in season not all fruits ripen at the same time. it doesn't make one fruit better or sweeter than the other because they reopened differently. as someone who was born into very great wealth and later lost some of it. I have seen grace to grass, I have also seen grass to grace and one thing I know is that wealth and success is a visitor and only good luck and chance brings it to your home. nobody works harder than the truck pusher, amongst yahoo boys some have been on it for years and made no Kobo and a little boy joins tomorrow and gets a million dollars. everyone on earth will bear his or name. we might all look alike but will have different destinies. it's not completely based on intelligence or hard work.

God gives life and success to whom he pleases and when he pleases. the devil also takes from whom he pleases and when he pleases. if whom you love is rich today and successful thank God for that gift and pray the devil never remembers your family. if whom you love is currently broke, have faith that God will remember your family and bring wealth and devil will never see you.

genuine love an intention is everything. marriage and love is like a seed you plant and God and good luck twined with good destiny will water and nourish it and hopefully wealth and greatness will come.

wealth is meaningless when you have had it and seen something else. we have been there, up and down and today we moving up again and I have realised. Na God get every every. my efforts are just for man. if God no gree all your efforts shall be in vain. cheers

PS. lubyna, raggedyann