religion


abeg abeg

the jargons posted has nothing to do with christianity

absolutely nothing!!!

nowhere does the bible say men should manipulate thier gf's

or play mind tricks!!

if anything the bible says u shuld be honest (real) and faithful and humble (down to earth)

christians do not believe women should be ridden like horses

now all the earlier lord business i couldnt be bothered

but just to clarify- the lord business is more of a language thing than a worship of her husband

yoruba people also refer to thier husbands as lord- some of u mite hear it in ur oriki

the english language calls actual Lords lord

so its mostly to do with language than to say serah worshipped abraham like a God

if u read the bible properly u will know that

davidylan:

you have every reason to ignore it as much as others have a reason to bring their faith into their discussions.

this story illustrates nothing. There are a thousand and one girls out there who are more controlling than their men who have kids out of wedlock with no future hanging around the street corners. There are also controlling men out their whose wives have wonderful careers and a great home.

The constant use of ONE isolated unrelated example to make a general deduction reduces the quality of this debate IMO.

And u David, where are your facts?  Besides the Bible, where are your facts? Yes I might have everystory but I do provide examples of how I feel, andwhy I feel that way.

you basing your non 50-50 on your mom is also one isolated example.

I can give examples till page 100 and its still not enough.  

vivaladiva:

pro01, wat has vivaladiva done to you eh lol

vivaladiva:

pro01, wat has vivaladiva done to you eh lol

No vex oh, abeg. It was just an 'ordinary' illustration. You seemed just perfect for the role I assigned to you. Lol.

platinumnk:

And u David, where are your facts?  Besides the Bible, where are your facts? Yes I might have everystory but I do provide examples of how I feel, andwhy I feel that way.

you basing your non 50-50 on your mom is also one isolated example.

I can give examples till page 100 and its still not enough.  

you do provide examples . . . unfortunately you fail to realise that is just as good as providing your fingerprints . . . it wont match anyone else's. You cant pigeon-hole everyone into your own isolated experience.

Leadership by a man in a relationship doesnt work for you, it works for others, it makes sense, its the way God designed it. End of story.

ayettymama:



now all the earlier lord business i couldnt be bothered

but just to clarify- the lord business is more of a language thing than a worship of her husband

yoruba people also refer to thier husbands as lord- some of u mite hear it in your oriki

the english language calls actual Lords lord

so its mostly to do with language than to say serah worshipped abraham like a God

if u read the bible properly u will know that

THANK YOU!!  Exactly what I was saying! It is just a figure of speech, but some take it to literally.

Since when during Englands rule of Kings and Queens did you see someone tell a Lordship what to do?  

davidylan:

you do provide examples . . . unfortunately you fail to realise that is just as good as providing your fingerprints . . . it wont match anyone else's. You cant pigeon-hole everyone into your own isolated experience.

Leadership by a man in a relationship doesnt work for you, it works for others, it makes sense, its the way God designed it. End of story.

In what is true leadership, when both partners are making decisions


You are just creaming for a title

And what others, Fallacy! It is just an opinon. Because you interpret the bible the way you want to.

looool

if abraham was a so called lord

will he have taken haggai??

then after taking haggai

will serah have insulted him the way she did??

they were a normal loving couple- abraham did not 'control' the marriage

u men just like to justify all the silly things u do!

lord ko ur royal highness ni,
thank u pro01, i take that as a compliment lol

platinumnk:

In what is true leadership, when both partners are making decisions

You are just creaming for a title

And what others, Fallacy! It is just an opinon. Because you interpret the bible the way you want to.

1. Most of you dont understand what leadership really entails. It isnt about pulling others by the nose . . . it involves taking ideas from others and then taking a decision in the best interests of both parties. Many times it might simply mean taking Madam's advice. Let me use a personal example . . . as "controlling" as my dad is, he never takes a decision without my mom's input . . . 95% of the time we end up doing what mom says.

2. Creaming for what title and from whom? Absurd

3. I dont interprete the bible the way i want, i do so exactly the way it is written . . . unfortunately many of you would rather write your own versions of the bible that suit your selfish desires.

ayettymama:

looool

if abraham was a so called lord

will he have taken haggai??

then after taking haggai

will serah have insulted him the way she did??

they were a normal loving couple- abraham did not 'control' the marriage

u men just like to justify all the silly things u do!

This makes no sense at all. Sarah gave Haggar to Abraham and he took it because he considered Sarah's decision to be the smartest way out humanly speaking . . . it didnt take away the fact that Sarah still regarded Abraham as her "Lord".

Perhaps you need to read your own bible . . . these things are not abstract stuff we pluck out of the sky.

@ platinumnk, platinumnkechi, platinumnkiru, platinumnkem (which applies)

I now understand your 'predicament' very thoroughly. You assume that you have an inherent inability to be subject to any other authority other than yourself: not your husband, not your dad, not to religion, not to societal precepts, not to tradition, heck, not even to the majesty of the law/state! How incredible! Ladies & gentlemen, platinumnk is law onto herself!

Or is the a manifestation of the heights of 'girl-power' Feminism. Even Maggie Thatcher, surely, wasnt that outta control at the peak of her power. Best way, it does seem, is for you to go the way of Oprah my dear. Find a Stedman of your own, and when he dares whimper against any of your views, you kick him outta your mansion and get a 'new' pansy, emm sorry, partner.

.

@ platinumnk, platinumnkechi, platinumnkiru, platinumnkem (which applies)

I now understand your 'predicament' very thoroughly. You assume that you have an inherent inability to be subject to any other authority other than yourself: not your husband, not your dad, not to religion, not to societal precepts, not to tradition, heck, not even to the majesty of the law/state! How incredible! Ladies & gentlemen, platinumnk is law onto herself!

Or maybe it is a manifestation of the heights of 'girl-power' Feminism. Even Maggie Thatcher, surely, wasnt that outta control at the peak of her power. Best way, it does seem, is for you to go the way of Oprah my dear. Find a Stedman of your own, and when he dares whimper against any of your views, you kick him outta your mansion and get a 'new' pansy, emm sorry, partner.

ayettymama:

looool

if abraham was a so called lord

will he have taken haggai??

then after taking haggai

will serah have insulted him the way she did??

they were a normal loving couple- abraham did not 'control' the marriage

u men just like to justify all the silly things u do!

thank you

davidylan:

1. Most of you dont understand what leadership really entails. It isnt about pulling others by the nose . . . it involves taking ideas from others and then taking a decision in the best interests of both parties. Many times it might simply mean taking Madam's advice. Let me use a personal example . . . as "controlling" as my dad is, he never takes a decision without my mom's input . . . 95% of the time we end up doing what mom says.

Can you read what I bolded and compare that to an actual LORDSHIP?
I abeg its just a title
True submission is not even offering suggestions much less to agree to them

tomaato, tomato

pro01:

@ platinumnk, platinumnkechi, platinumnkiru, platinumnkem (which applies)

I now understand your 'predicament' very thoroughly. You assume that you have an inherent inability to be subject to any other authority other than yourself: not your husband, not your dad, not to religion, not to societal precepts, not to tradition, heck, not even to the majesty of the law/state! How incredible! Ladies & gentlemen, platinumnk is law onto herself!

Or is the a manifestation of the heights of 'girl-power' Feminism. Even Maggie Thatcher, surely, wasnt that outta control at the peak of her power. Best way, it does seem, is for you to go the way of Oprah my dear. Find a Stedman of your own, and when he dares whimper against any of your views, you kick him outta your mansion and get a 'new' pansy, emm sorry, partner.

Haba na, Im a reasonable woman! Within good reason though. I just cant see someone telling me something just because he hangs tin balls in his pockets.

Marriage is about compromise, this Lord stuff is just a fancy title, when the word Submisssion nor LORD is applied properly.

Smh~ male egos

platinumnk:

Can you read what I bolded and compare that to an actual LORDSHIP?
I abeg its just a title
True submission is not even offering suggestions much less to agree to them

tomaato, tomato

sigh . . . Tope2000 reminded you about this yesterday . . . you cant be using the dictionary to define submission as written in the bible. I guess you really cant get to some people no matter what. I give up. By all means do 50-50.

tai2:

I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me mercilessly until I actually sat down  to analyze them and their ways and figured out the language they speak. If you think maintaining a woman is about excess love, showing affection, kindness, forgiveness, religion and all that bullsh*t, you're dead wrong, treat a woman too good, she will find an excuse to leave ( “I was once dumped by a chick who later told her friend, I was 'too nice'.”). But they will stay with an “omo rapala” that mistreats them day after day after day.


Even fellowship girls are still tempted by young men of the world and leave their fellow fellowship brothers to look for bad boys to convert. They are never satisfied with a squeaky clean good man. To them every guy that is too good is a nuisance.  Even the ones that are married have only calmed down and become good in order to trap a husband that offers them security or at least a husband that has managed to figure out their buttons. Be wise, young men, be wise.

Maintaining women of all shapes ages and sizes is all about control and remaining in control. The moment you lose control, you lose yourself and a woman will ride you till the very end. Some people say all sorts of rubbish, “Oh my woman is not like that, she's different”, all that one na story, Eve betrayed Adam, Delilah betrayed Samson, so who on earth is your woman that she won't act like those that came before her?

There are different levels of control, there is no control, artificial control and true control. No control is the default situation most guys fall into. They love a woman and believe everything she says in the heat of passion ”I'll never ever leave you”, “I can't wait to marry you” etc etc, and deceive themselves into overconfidence and over love. A no control guy does not know how to tell his babe no and is always apologizing even when it is not his fault. When they start exhibiting too much attention and love, the chick gets bored and starts looking for “rude boys” somewhere. Then her mind starts wavering and she starts telling you “I need space”, “I'm confused”. When you hear these words you're in trouble.

Unfortunately most young guy today no dey hear word and they will start reminiscing about the sweet nothings the babe told them when the going was good and continue to misbehave and show over love and over affection. Meanwhile one bad guy fit dey comb the babe for corner somewhere. In the end the chick leaves and the guy is in a wreck, crying, complaining to his friends begging etc and at that point the girl no go wan hear again, anything you're saying is a waste of time. A chick will bring up some of the dumbest excuses when she wants to dump you. She might regret leaving you later but all that one na Tales By Moonlight what matters is the wrecked condition she will leave you in at that moment.


The next level of control is artificial control. Artificial control works a lot in Nigeria today, and people exercise this level of control primarily by having money. This is what the so called big boys and sugar daddies use to maintain their babes. Some poor guys starving on their pocket money and University allowances even try to maintain this level of control to their own downfall. With artificial control a girl might screw around but will not really leave you until she finds another guy with better control than you. The best way to use artificial control is ruthlessly, if you have money and control them with money make sure you take no crap from them or else they will turn you to a MUGU and you fall into the no control category even though you have money.

Remember money is relative. Some guy has more than you somewhere. Some guys exercise artificial control through other means as well, such as being older, being in a bigger office, better school, living in a bigger house etc. Until the chick meets someone with better control she will not leave but always remember you are in control and use it to your advantage. Don't boast about it though as they really hate it when you point out that the reason they are with you is because of artificial control ( even though we know its true). All those threads written by sacked bankers on Nairaland who have lost their babes are a result of the artificial control category. Control go, babe go.

Guys without money should remember this ( University boys open your eyes) the moment you start spending to maintain control, you will never stop and this is a problem when you do not have money  so students, graduate trainees and people without money should avoid money artificial control as much as possible. You will only wreck yourself financially, because they will only get greedier and you will find out you cannot keep up and she will use the money you have used to better her looks, wardrobe and her life to find a replacement for you. They always want to upgrade. If you have money to spend it is okay to use artificial control just make sure you do it in a responsible way, not in a way chicks will use “MUGU”  to replace your name on their phones.


The last control category is true control. Maintain this level of control and you are the true guru. You are the Don Juan, the guy women trip and fall down for regardless of whether or whether not. The true control man is in control of EVERYTHING. He will not chase a babe he cannot control or who he knows will want to lord over him. Before he spends his money on a woman he makes sure that she knows who is in control and spends his money sparingly, in fact she might spend more than him.  If she tells him she is in her male corpers friends house sleeping because she does not have light he laughs and tells her “I hope he knows how to screw well, I know you're probably lonely”.  It might pain him inside but you will never see it, because he knows that if she finds out he is jealous he is finished, if she feels he is not jealous, she will correct herself and find call him 20 times a day to make sure he truly loves her.


The guy who shouts at his babe and tells her what sort of nonsense is that ( why should she sleep in Mr Corper-With-Generator's house) is maintaining artificial control, she will tell him she won't do it again and do it the next day and for the next 10 months, and get combed mercilessly by Mr. Corper-With-Generator and his colleagues. It takes 10 minutes for a quickie and that place does not have a gauge you will use to measure  who did and did not do when she comes back. Artificial control men and no control men should take note.

In fact most of the accomplished true control guys have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally silly idea. If she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to ensure that he remains in control of his senses.

intimacy is intimacy, love is a different kettle of fish. intimacy helps you keep things in perspective. Screw one woman too much, you might become silly and lose control. Fidelity is over rated my brothers, you can love a woman but don't confuse it with being faithful.  If she suspects you are screwing outside, thats okay for them, just make sure you're never caught and she only suspects, suspicion is good, it keeps her on her feet, she knows she can be replaced. When she sees that text message on your phone, tell her “you are the only one for me “ and buy enough “ chocolate and flowers” and then leave her to think. But NEVER keep two chicks, you should have one chick and the occasional ones you are chopping outside to maintain perspective and self-control, that way you won't create unnecessary problems for yourself. If you are not on the financial capability of Atiku Abubakar, polygamy is a bad idea. If you can retain control without screwing outside, fine for you. But the day your woman is caught screwing outside, you will feel seriously cuckolded and feel like a fool.

A true control guy will NEVER date a woman he cannot control. A woman who does not respect you is one you have no control over, these women do not understand equality, look at the divorce rate in America ! A true control guy has ALL control but he never uses money to control too much. He never makes it about money or how much he has. Most true control guys have more money than the women they control, other much more skilled true control guys may have less money but always make sure that she knows who is boss. Because once you let a women who's money is longer than yours gain control, you are finished.  A true control guy also has koboko control ( meaning he knows how to give it to her in bed, if you do not know better learn by hiring a skilled Pay As You Go or else she will leave you for the first Mr. Magic Stick). In fact koboko control is way better than money control. Look at Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Honsou, you go no say na koboko dey at work, no be by fine face or too much money. ( No offense to Russel Simmons but he had artificial control).

A true control guy also has fashion control, he knows how to dress and be neat ( it might not be the most expensive stuff he wears but he looks smart and neat always, he has fashion sense). A true control guy also knows how to tell his babe no and stick to his no. They rarely say “I'm sorry” and always make a chick laugh or some other tactic to avoid using those words. A chicks friends will beef this sort of guy in public and on forums like Nairaland  and berate their friends for dating him but will secretly dream of screwing him. It even helps when the guy acts nice to the chicks friends, but not too nice (as in we are all age-mates level,  respect must be maintained at all costs, chicks know how to disrespect a guy who plays with them too much). All men should strive to attain true control. True control will give you peace of mind and undying attention.

Be wise, my brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.

Excessive verbiage but the message is MINT!!!
Give her an inch and she will always take a mile.

Leadership is the highest form of servitude.

michelin89:

Leadership is the highest form of servitude.

correct . . . even though i doubt you believe this.

davidylan:

correct . . . even though i doubt you believe this.

I believe in a lot of things which I don't bother to express.

michelin89:

Leadership is the highest form of servitude.

so in essence its all just words ok o

michelin89:

I believe in a lot of things which I don't bother to express.

impressive.

platinumnk:

so in essence its all just words ok o

Words? Nah.
Action speaks LOUDER!!!

~Sauron~:

Words? Nah.
Action speaks LOUDER!!!

Yes it is, Davids parents talk decisions amoung themselves like partners,
if the man wants the flimsy title to stroke his ego, fine.

as far as i am concerned, the poster has said it all(nothing but the truth) if i am allowed, i would suggest that eveyone should imbibe these principles. i wonder why the ladies are feeling insulted, he didnt insult anyone, he only said the truth.

please ladies, would you rather prefer a guy who can't control you? honestly, i thought every ladies dream is to have that man who can be able to control her(everywhere, ladies generally prefer, tall and richer guys. they like strong men and sometimes bad guys, these are al signs of control). i think the fact here is that most ladies are looking at control from a nagative point of view. this is not surprising because most ladies have been known to understand life phenomenom from a shallow point of view.

it is obvious that women like it when they have a man they can rely on, be it financially, emotionally, materially(physically), etc. why then the arguement?

@dave is saying the whole truth, i have carefully read his post and he has not insulted women in any way even when he was pushed to do so. i would advice him to ignore @platinumnk because form her post it is obviouse that she is young and inexperienced, she still lives in a fantasy world not reality. does she have a boyfriend? and is she tryinging to say that he relies on her just as much as she relies on him? wont you like to have a man to cry on his shoulders? to love and to LOVE you, isnt it a pride for ladies to be in love with a man who symbolises strenght?

just last week i heard my cousin who was complaining that she has an admirer who is obviously weak and she is not comfortable in going into a relationship with him, what then are we talking about?

ladies, please you musnt be grevious about everything. having a guy who controls you is for your own good, especially in a tough world like urs. when we say control dont just see nagtivity, after all a guy can be less controlling and yet undesirable in a lot of ways.

nobody has said two cannot play the game, and nobody is saying that being submissive means being stupid and passive. i know u ladies cannot marry a man you cannot respect.

and guys who think it is not necessary to control their women, well it is obvious that you are confusing a lot of things. a mans pride in a relationship is all about control, if you dont have it, you are miserable. why dont men like have relationship with older or richer or more educated ladies? why dont we like having ladies who make us feel inferior? i wonder what a lot of people think.

in our culture, men have to fight for their women, the fulanies have to beat their men before they are regareded as suitable for a lady. we can go on and on.

the bible says that women are weaker vessles.

lastly i will likew to commend the women. their world is so complicated yet they are able to handle it without much complaints. thats why when we have a loyal woman and understand what we have, we wil conquer the world.

Dude you have spoken. Seun should frame this on his home page.

In summary, women want to be dominated.
If you grant them a millimeter, they will extend it to a mile.

@dave is saying the whole truth, i have carefully read his post and he has not insulted women in any way even when he was pushed to do so. i would advice him to ignore @platinumnk because form her post it is obviouse that she is young and inexperienced, she still lives in a fantasy world not reality. does she have a boyfriend? and is she tryinging to say that he relies on her just as much as she relies on him? wont you like to have a man to cry on his shoulders? to love and to LOVE you, isnt it a pride for ladies to be in love with a man who symbolises strenght?

dude u dont know me. You cannot tell me that you share decsions with a wife and call that submission!
Who said 50/50 isnt strong? Does that make me a weakling? Instead of running allover this thread with silly jargons, try backing them up.

in How does 50/50 mean you cant share sorrow with a partner?

Im not saying a Woman should boss around a man, a man SHOULDNT either.

Control? I have self- control already, thanks

It sickens me to see how dengenerate women are in the eyes of men.

I guess we shouldnt be voting either.

Only the lily-livered, self-seeking, inexperienced, young minded little girls concern themselves with the unrealistic obtuse fantasy of 50/50.

platinumnk:

It sickens me to see how dengenerate women are in the eyes of men.

I guess we shouldnt be voting either.  

Which men are you talking about? I dont know them . . . the men i see around me worship their women, love and cherish them, honor them with their body and soul . . . their wives submit to them out of love and respect in return.

Which men were you talking about again? Where are they? I'd like to have a word or two with them.

thanks for your help.

NB: Arent we men also SICK and TIRED of women who make wrong choices in life when it comes to "men" (literarily boys in adult skin) and then turn around to blame every other men?

I read a bit of these women online and i can just imagine the type of men they date.

platinumnk:

Who said 50/50 isnt strong? Does that make me a weakling? Instead of running allover this thread with silly jargons, try backing them up.

in How does 50/50 mean you cant share sorrow with a partner?

Im not saying a Woman should boss around a man,  a man SHOULDNT either.

Control? I have self- control already, thanks

lol i look around the degeneracy that is called 50-50 marriages in western countries and i can only laugh at you. Enjoy.

Apparently Frank was right . . . a lot of you have plenty of growing up to do . . . you're still living on fantasy island.

There is a huge world of difference between a boyfriend and a husband. you can demand 50-50 from a bf . . .

davidylan:

lol i look around the degeneracy that is called 50-50 marriages in western countries and i can only laugh at you. Enjoy.

Apparently Frank was right . . . a lot of you have plenty of growing up to do . . . you're still living on fantasy island.

There is a huge world of difference between a boyfriend and a husband. you can demand 50-50 from a bf . . .

What growing up, you havent proved me different, this Lordship thing is just for your EGOS
Period

Men worship women, women adore men, SAME freaking thing

Even Abe was taking advice from Sarah,
In a Business, You do not tell your boss what to do.

In a Business Partnership, you come with agreements on what could be done to further the company.
what is different in a Marriage?

You said you Dad cant make a decision without your MOM
In what business partnership is any Decision made without consulting your partner.

Personally I think the Bible was bible was encouraging wives to have more patience with men egos

H2O2:

Only the lily-livered, self-seeking, inexperienced, young minded little girls concern themselves with the unrealistic obtuse fantasy of 50/50.

what ever, a guy on here was also saying 50/.50

In a True Loving Marriage, its always 50/50 know why because each person plays their part,, no one moves without reaching the other, and all decisions are joint decisons.


Id rather call it what it was than to be concerned with wordless Delusions

platinumnk:

What growing up, you havent proved me different, this Lordship thing is just for your EGOS
Period

- we're not even asking you call us "Lords" . . . its not needed, infact it can be quite uncomfortable. Unfortunately i hope you realise now that stroking your husband's ego is part of the work you will have to do to keep your marriage humming along.

platinumnk:

Even Abe was taking advice from Sarah,
In a Business, You do not tell your boss what to do.

In a Business Partnership, you come with agreements on what could be done to further the company.
what is different in a Marriage?

You said you Dad cant make a decision without your MOM
In what business partnership is any Decision made without consulting your partner.

I give up, talking to you is like pouring water on a rock (my mom's fav quote).

platinumnk:

Personally I think the Bible was bible was encouraging wives to have more patience with men egos

Personally i dont think you understand the bible one bit.

davidylan:

- we're not even asking you call us "Lords" . . . its not needed, infact it can be quite uncomfortable. Unfortunately i hope you realise now that stroking your husband's ego is part of the work you will have to do to keep your marriage humming along.

as long as he keeps stroking  . .  im good t!.t for tat 50/50

davidylan:

I give up, talking to you is like pouring water on a rock (my mom's fav quote).

Personally i dont think you understand the bible one bit.

Nope! you interpret they way you want,and I do the same.
Isnt that why we have preachers

LORD = BOSS,  Boss are supported by workers, Workers DONT suggest major things with Bosses, Bosses dont go over decisons with Workers.

Business Partnership- They support each other, they suggest major things with each other, and mull over decisions.

So tell me, if you guys want a fancy title, fine, but I call it what I see it.