QueenSekxy:
you are evil...

How? Was she falsed to abort the baby? Did he promised to marry her, before and after the abortion? Guy apply your wisdom in this kind of situation because that lady can commit suicide because you. If na me i go marry am sha.

badoi:
Op you found a true love and you're here looking for advice
Iffa slap u ehn
I just need someone to love me
I'll treat her nice

You think treating girls "nice" will make them like you or be good to you or not dump you abi??

its clear them never call you "Mr Nice Guy" before

Marshalxv:



And how does this two stories relate?
just judge yourself.

Age wise. The lady being 27 isn't the end of the road. If he doesnt want to get married to her, will she force him?

8stargeneral:
Let assume dat she's ur sister dat somebody did like dat,u will go extra mile to kill d persn,for d fact dat u mentioned age after wht d girl passed true,ur name is called DEVIL.

No na your own name be DEVIL.Why do you derive Joy in trying you force a man into marriage.

op, whatever decision u take better draw near to ur God or ur baba because one Bae here is ready to ruin ur life if u don't marry d said lady.

isaacsegun:
Please fellow nairalanders, Ineed your urgent advice.
We started dating as far back as year 2007, then she was 17 while i was in my early 20s. I'm her first love, in fact, I was the person that deflowered her. I got her pregnant during the course of our relationship in which we aborted, the abortion almost took her life.

Since after the abortion issues that create serious problem between her parents and mine, her parents has kicked against our relationship including mine but she's insisting we must marry even up till today.

Please guys, should i just tell her that we cannot marry because i can see that she's very desperate to marry now as age is not on her side, but I'm afraid to tell her that the relationship cannot work because she can do anything (like attempting to even take her own life)

My question is very simple. Do u love her? Do u value here in any way? Have u ever seen her as sm1 u wud love to be married to? Well for u to hv dated her dat long u probably saw smtn in her. Wat ever u do try to make her happy and be there for here cos shes been tru alot for u and with u.
And if her parents don't want u for her then let them find sm1 for her and hope dat she likes him to 4get u. 10 years is no joke I can't do such unless I planned on settling down with that person so be a man about it.

Donjazzy12:

10 years is not to late to make the right decision

it will take the grace of God for the girl to be herself again 10 years is not 10 days neither is it 10 weeks nor 10 months we are talking about years

Pls follow this link.. An online business... Legit.. https:///6WFazW

I salute you brotherly. Some very stupid guys will sit somewhere and type rubbish. What about the guys that invest so much in relationships and at the end, the girl says she's not doing again? Guys are emotionally raped everyday and at the end, the girl plays the victim.

Donjazzy12:

You took the words out of my mouth. Only very myopic and foolish guys are attacking the Op.

isaacsegun:
Please fellow nairalanders, Ineed your urgent advice.
We started dating as far back as year 2007, then she was 17 while i was in my early 20s. I'm her first love, in fact, I was the person that deflowered her. I got her pregnant during the course of our relationship in which we aborted, the abortion almost took her life.

Since after the abortion issues that create serious problem between her parents and mine, her parents has kicked against our relationship including mine but she's insisting we must marry even up till today.

Please guys, should i just tell her that we cannot marry because i can see that she's very desperate to marry now as age is not on her side, but I'm afraid to tell her that the relationship cannot work because she can do anything (like attempting to even take her own life)

Op i honestly don't know what to tell you. I cannot judge or condemn you because i am way far from perfection but there are certain grey areas in your story. Are both your parents aware of the abortion? Is that why they kicked against you 2 being together? Do you really want to get married to her? Or are you trying to stylishly use the guise of your parents not approving of you guys to dump her because you fear that the abortion BOTH of you carried out would impair her child bearing should you marry her? if yes, then you are adding a tanker of petrol to fire. You committed fornication, murder & now want to add deceit all to attempt avoiding the consequences of your actions. Remember that there is God, who sees all & 1 day (which you don't know when), you would stand before Him & give account of what you did. I'm ill qualified to advise you on whether to marry her or not. It's only God that can direct you. The both of you should genuinely repent, confess your sins & surrender to our Lord Jesus Christ. Cry out in humility for God's mercy because human blood in its most innocent form was shed. Remember how the blood of Abel cried out to God against Cain? I believe that if you both do this in sincerity, God would lead you both to a solution. Marriage is no trivial matter. Both of you need a green light from God to proceed. Seek His face earnestly. God bless you.

Donjazzy12:

Can ten years of the Ops life be replaced? 27 years is still a very very fertile period for women, so what are you saying? Why are you intent on forcing the Op into a loveless marriage? To prove what point?

Go and do your research. Women are most fertile from 20 - 25. Shes nearly 30 and that's when fertility declines fast. If this man decides to leave her, who knows when she'll be able to find someone else? Just stop quoting. I dont have the time any longer.

purples25:


After ten years. She has a womb that has an expiry date, does he? Men like to marry young women, after ten Years, in the realm of women, she won't have the same suitors. Meanwhile at fourty some will still call him a young man , he will marry a 16 year old , nobody will care.

If it is your sister will you say this?
If it is your daughter ?
If you were the woman will you feel this way ?

Why are you guys selfish that you only care for yourselves and those who are lucky to be your beloved ? So men are free to eat what they want and if it suits them no more they throw it away in the trash can just as easily. You said it had effect on him too. Will people slut shame him? In this Africa, do people ask a man about his virginity? Well, enjoy your life.

My sister cannot even support them to go ahead in this type of situation. The guy obviously does not love the girl again. There is nothing anybody can do.

AlexCk:
After 10 solid years(comprising of 2 leap years) & an abortion (that almost ended her), & pretty sure she's into u(probably), u now decided u won't marry her, because u feel the relationship can't work?!!!!. After 10 freaking years??!!!,
Not like she cheated or, she's a manaic. But because u feel it won't work??
After 10years??!!

Haba!!,

Seriously mehn, that's just terribly wrong. Dunno what to even type/say

Bros eeh ur comment got me lolz

Safiaaa:
Go and do your research. Women are most fertile from 20 - 25. Shes nearly 30 and that's when fertility declines fast. If this man decides to leave her, who knows when she'll be able to find someone else? Just stop quoting. I dont have the time any longer.

Nothing you said here is any reason to force a man of woman into a marriage he doesn't not want. Get your brother to help out and marry her na!

Donjazzy12:

Another foolish man!

oh my,this stupid thing qouted me. nw stay off my mention cos i will never exchange words with you that your studity is as vast as the litstosphere nd its depth is as deep as that of an ocean, so Bleep off!!!

lelvin:
So a man's life is useless compared to that of a woman ehn? I want to ask you a question aunty, are you still with the first guy you took postinor for If your answer is yes then u can keep talking, if it's 'NO' then SHUT DA F*UCK UP.

did i say its useless to a mans life? I said its more detrimental to a womans life, and you know thats true deep down. She's on the losing end, simply because this man is looking for silly excuses to leave her. Its as simple as that.

[quote author=RealityShot post=59579000]
She is a SUICIDAL MANIAC
the Op said so up there.

isaacsegun:
Don't marry a suicidal maniac!
Are you the only one that she has ever slept with since that time (2007)?

Marriage is not by force!!

That girl will blame you for ever, whether you marry her or not!

better not waste your money and create yet another marriage that will end in a DIVORCE![/quote

so many people that were bashing me up and down here cannot really understand the opposition that I'm facing from her parents

purples25:


So cuz a man trained a girl, yeah its wrong to jilt a guy, but money can be made at any age and time . But can you produce a new womb? Can you return a body made of flesh and blood? Abeg all these your comparisons are nothing compared to what the girl loses, and you all know it . That is why when you are bragging about how you dealt with a girl you would say you lost your money wooing her but what she will loose is times ten of that.

what did she loose?

clearly you dont know that money is blood.

Donjazzy12:

Nothing you said here is any reason to force a man of woman into a marriage he doesn't not want. Get your brother to help out and marry her na!

Nobody is forcing the man. If he had a legitimate reason to leave her, would any body complain? He wants to leave because of a petty excuse and on top of that he's wasted 10 years? Its pure wickedness and that's where the complaints are coming from. Simple as abc.

isaacsegun:
Please fellow nairalanders, Ineed your urgent advice.
We started dating as far back as year 2007, then she was 17 while i was in my early 20s. I'm her first love, in fact, I was the person that deflowered her. I got her pregnant during the course of our relationship in which we aborted, the abortion almost took her life.

Since after the abortion issues that create serious problem between her parents and mine, her parents has kicked against our relationship including mine but she's insisting we must marry even up till today.

Please guys, should i just tell her that we cannot marry because i can see that she's very desperate to marry now as age is not on her side, but I'm afraid to tell her that the relationship cannot work because she can do anything (like attempting to even take her own life)

guy! U must marry her oh. Na byforce oh. If u like ur life

lelvin:
I salute you brotherly. Some very stupid guys will sit somewhere and type rubbish. What about the guys that invest so much in relationships and at the end, the girl says she's not doing again? Guys are emotionally raped everyday and at the end, the girl plays the victim.

Gbam!

Safiaaa:
Nobody is forcing the man. If he had a legitimate reason to leave her, would any body complain? He wants to leave because of a petty excuse and on top of that he's wasted 10 years? Its pure wickedness and that's where the complaints are coming from. Simple as abc.

The wickedness is from you who wants to forxe an innocent man into a loveless marriage.Any excuse is an excuse. Bottom line, he doesn't love her again. Simple. Please respect his decision. I have left a girl before. I just told her that I wasn't feeling her again. And that was it.

In as much as I'd have loved to tell the OP to marry the girl, I think he's not telling the full story. There should be other reasons he's not interested in marrying the girl.

As per everyone talking about the 10 years shit, drilling and abortion stuffs, comparing the male and female lives, everyone makes sacrifices in a relationship. No one knows the condition men are when they sacrifice money...So it's not about money can be replaced or not. It's about the situation or condition the men were while making the sacrifice. When I was younger, I'd have said money can be replaced but time can't.... Now I'd not even attempt saying that because those conditions are priceless.

I've seen a lady break up with a guy after 8 years because she found a richer guy. He simply moved on, got married in less than 18 months afterward and he's better than he ever thought. No one killed her. She's fine too and enjoying her life.

So I can't advise you to marry her because you've been together for 10 years or for abortion reasons. IF YOU FEEL IT'S RIGHT WITHIN YOU TO MARRY HER, DO SO. IF YOU FEEL IT'S NOT RIGHT, DON'T DO SO. LET YOUR CONSCIENCE JUDGE YOU. I'M NOT IN YOUR SHOES.

the only way 2 be sure of ur future is 2 put her in ur plan or if na me na 2 embark on a dry fasting my prayer point will be #fada lawd bring her husband, if she get married u are safe, bt nt totally safe till she gives birth. i d fear woman ooo na wetin still kip me

lelvin:
What is all these rubbish people are writing? He didn't rape her, so let him live his life. Everyday, we see guys being used and dumped by ladies and the guy does not go about cursing them. But once it's a guy, he's compared to a demon or even something worse. Op if you marry her out of pity, you will regret it. But talk to her and if she's not ready to wait, let her go.

He no go better for everybody accusing this guy for his decision.If it were to be the girl that dumped the boy,most of you will be supporting her ,saying all sort of nonsense.Most ladies dump guys these days for better offer and heaven did not fall,so if the guy feels she is not good for him he has the right to move on.Moreover most ladies would do worse if they had been in same position.I am talking from experience .So guy move on .

isaacsegun:
Please fellow nairalanders, Ineed your urgent advice.
We started dating as far back as year 2007, then she was 17 while i was in my early 20s. I'm her first love, in fact, I was the person that deflowered her. I got her pregnant during the course of our relationship in which we aborted, the abortion almost took her life.

Since after the abortion issues that create serious problem between her parents and mine, her parents has kicked against our relationship including mine but she's insisting we must marry even up till today.

Please guys, should i just tell her that we cannot marry because i can see that she's very desperate to marry now as age is not on her side, but I'm afraid to tell her that the relationship cannot work because she can do anything (like attempting to even take her own life)

You are a big idiot and a kid!!! After almost costing her to loose her life over your carelessness and wasting 10 fuckinn good years of her life you want to push her away. YOU KNOW VERY WELL YOU WEREN'T READY TO MARRY HER, YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS 9 YEARS AGO BUT YOU DIDN'T, YOU WERE ENJOYING FREE PUSSY. NIGA GO MAKE MONEY AND MARRY THAT GIRL.

grossintel:
You are a big idiot and a kid!!! After almost costing her to loose her life over your carelessness you want to push her away. NIGA GO MAKE MONEY AND MARRY THAT GIRL.

Another foolish man.

The hearts of MEN is desperately wicked.see op ur people must agree to the marriage o.infact she is already ur wife.d fact remains that u don't love her,you are just looking for an excuse to escape from marring her.you are wicked.if I am the lady I will never marry u becuse u are not worth it.becuse it's better u don't marry her than to marry her under duress and frustrate her life with u.may book haream bomb ur head.

livinbygrace:



He no go better for everybody accusing this guy for his decision.If it were to be the girl that dumped the boy,most of you will be supporting her ,saying all sort of nonsense.Most ladies dump guys these days for better offer and heaven did not fall,so if the guy feels she is not good for him he has the right to move on.Moreover most ladies would do worse if they had been in same position.I am talking from experience .So guy move on .

Gbam!

In as much as I'd have loved to tell the OP to marry the girl, I think he's not telling the full story. There should be other reasons he's not interested in marrying the girl.

As per everyone talking about the 10 years shit, drilling and abortion stuffs, comparing the male and female lives, everyone makes sacrifices in a relationship. No one knows the condition men are when they sacrifice money...So it's not about money can be replaced or not. It's about the situation or condition the men were while making the sacrifice. When I was younger, I'd have said money can be replaced but time can't.... Now I'd not even attempt saying that because those conditions are priceless.

A lot happens to guys in relationships and they are simply told to man-up. Some guys go dey low so tey dem go dey do like person wey want mad cos of wetin girl do them. So no be say make we dey think say women na weaker vessels, make we come dey use different yardstick for them.

I've seen a lady break up with a guy after 8 years because she found a richer guy. He simply moved on, got married in less than 18 months afterward and he's better than he ever thought. No one killed her. She's fine too and enjoying her life.

So I can't advise you to marry her because you've been together for 10 years or for abortion reasons. IF YOU FEEL IT'S RIGHT WITHIN YOU TO MARRY HER, DO SO. IF YOU FEEL IT'S NOT RIGHT, DON'T DO SO. LET YOUR CONSCIENCE JUDGE YOU. I'M NOT IN YOUR SHOES.

Because a man has no future or what? So his reasons are not cogent simply because he's the guy abi. If it were the girl that said she wanted to breakup for the same reasons, am sure you tell her it's better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage.

Safiaaa:
did i say its useless to a mans life? I said its more detrimental to a womans life, and you know thats true deep down. She's on the losing end, simply because this man is looking for silly excuses to leave her. Its as simple as that.

Marshalxv:


Never you judge a guy's financial status based on his looks or appearance,
he probably look rough whilst making sure the girl looks good .

Sure. I really don't mean that. Just said that out of anger.