fashrola:


I'm just curious about the baseball bat? Are you a baseball player? Or just a collection item?

Cos it's really wierd for a Nigerian to have such object in his/her possession except probably you are a music video director

All the same....may we never marry a nagging and over Jealous woman or man

Bro back in 2005 my dad had a baseball bat. He didn't play baseball but said he wanted it incase there was someone head he wanted to break

ariklawani:
So we be mumu ,loveth na ur manager.if Na me ehn,Na to slap ur eye balls out.

My lady i can humbly ascertain that you are a ticking time bomb waiting for an innocent man to murder, please kindly register yourself into a mental hospital near you

Philipmems:
The grabbing your balls part was hilarious... my Oyibo friends are rolling on the floor laughing

tell your oyinbo friends that i‘m greeting

The moment my ex told me how she nearly murdered her ex in his sleep I started slipping away slowly from her.

Therock5555:


tell your oyinbo friends that i‘m greeting

They send their greetings to you sir.

ibkayee:
@Therock5555

Is this the same girl you mentioned in the ashawo thread that people were advising you about?

Yes my lady; this event happened around middle of this year

She‘s moved outta my town so i‘ve got alittle breathing space from her stalkings even though i know she hasn‘t given up yet

Therock5555:


Lol madame i dont beat ladies, dont you gerrit, i have the sisters, i only fought my elder sis once when i was still very young, my two lil sis have never been touched by me cus it was against the rule at home

Never beat anybody when i was a senior at school so why should i start with somebody i haven‘t paid bride price on, its childish and senseless

But some women like you are wired to make even a pope or monk loose their temper

But you occasionally knocked your Lil sisters back then...

And oh! If you hadn't passed out, I'm sure you'd have beaten the bleep outta her.

Don't say you can't beat a woman, cos we men can beat even a nun. All we need is to be properly motivated

Zhahovic:
U are lucky...why did U wait for some more months before breaking up?....
..
U should've dumped her immediately

The girl was sick in the brain, the most manipulative but caring chick i‘ve ever dated, anyway this one na long story, matter for another day

HarmonyDee:
I just imagined you under the bed dodging the blows and am laughing so hard
But that was bad oo

Speaking of your dp

Therock5555:


Yes my lady; this event happened around middle of this year

She‘s moved outta my town so i‘ve got alittle breathing space from her stalkings even though i know she hasn‘t given up yet

Knew she was bad news, what a nutter. One day it will be a cutlass instead of a base ball bat

Glad you've left her, please don't fall for her apologies, she's clearly unstable and very dangerous

JamaicanLove:

This made me just wanna fall in love with you... I love you.. Lol just kidding, thank God for your sexy life.

Mami, i‘ll love to fall in love with you too if you dont mind

You could shoot me a PM lets chat privately if you dont mind

Therock5555:


Lol bro you no well

If you wanna kill yourself, just hug tansformer na

Transformer takes too long jor!

Laugh wan kill me.... I swear, I don laugh tire...
Some ladies sha, I never meet that kind lady o and my mama Head no go let me see that kind lady for my life

petitejolie:
Kikikikikikiki! OP was there for the money o and connection. she wud av maryam sanda u. but seriously are u for real. dat kind of anger is not ordinary nd it's likely she's from d north.

Hey mami i stopped depending on my parents since age 15 when i finished secondary school so chasing a lady because of her money is way way way below the belt

BTW my family are afluent too so i dont need her connection or money to do shiiiiii

prciouschika:
can't stop laughing....... the fact that she saw you cheating in her dream but in between are you in Enugu need to check the center of your head.

Hahaha i might drop by east next year so if you would host me i could hit you up

BTW I sport an afro hairstyle now so scars aren‘t that visible no more

Therock5555:


Mami, i‘ll love to fall in love with you too if you dont mind

You could shoot me a PM lets chat privately if you dont mind

But I'm pretty sure you just made up that story... But it was pretty captivating

All I can think of is why the hell you would be calling your manager's name from sleep

fashrola:


I'm just curious about the baseball bat? Are you a baseball player? Or just a collection item?

Cos it's really wierd for a Nigerian to have such object in his/her possession except probably you are a music video director

I‘m a walking dead fan bro, still awaiting the zombie apocalypse

As for your second statement i think i would have been in the entertainment industry if my dad hadn‘t fought me with all his might

Till date people ask me if i‘m an artiste dude to my hair and dressing, i‘m just me being me

kolaaderin:


it would have been more realistic if its a Pestle for pounded yam or Amala, who keeps baseball bat at home in Nigeria. 90% of Nigerians dont even know what it looks like.

All the same The operator would make a career in writing fictional stories BRAVO

Thank God you said 90 percent, i guess i‘m amongst the ten percent, so i should write pestle to suit you because you have never seen baseball bat, dude pleassssse get out of your comfort zone and explore the world, we are in 20fucking17

BTW i‘m a badass fiction writer, written more than half a dozen stories on NL so take a chill pill, i know fiction from reality

biacan:
Sir you where actually a gentleman and I'm almost crying reading these thank GOD for your life please avoid people with high temper issues life is a choice so choose wisely GOD be with you hope you are fine now

Thanks Ma

BTW i‘m fine now, it would take more than a baseball bat hit to take me down, the beatings wey i chop from popsy hand when i was younger eh no be here, that man beat me like wetttttiiiiinnnn

Wonder how i got a non violent trait sef

Those doubting OP's story cuz of the baseball bat, weirdly we have a baseball bat in my family house too. It belonged to my late dad. I have no idea how he came by it and sadly he passed away before I was old enough to ask. So yeah, it's possible he has a baseball bat at home

Blonchilli:
Therock5555 I once had a girlfriend like that too. I think it's much more frequent with these rich girls that believe they are untouchable and can do and undo. But I didn't wait for her to hit me first mbok. I carried my leg and ran without looking back, infact my sister warned me to bail. That's why I look at all these female nairalanders shouting feminism up and down like small children. They know nothing. They haven't seen a beast in female form

Hmmm na God dey save us o

lenghtinny:

I never said that you were broke Bro...
But if she was a parasite, you wouldn't have tolerated her behavior till you had a near death experience

Bro you never jam girl wey go slap and scratch finger for your face then fall down her knees the next moment crying and begging, her friends go beg tire till you mellow, she‘s good at playing the victime card and she knew i could quickly be subdued by tears

dstar01 i‘m happy for you mehn, some ladies are just walking time bomb, BTW any lady that insults my parents go hear am o, i dont take that bullshiiit

Philipmems:

They send their greetings to you sir.

I just hope its not philipinos abi indian oyinbos oooo
No offence intended

Therock5555:
Due to the various news of the death of former PDP chairman's son who was murdered by his wife, I just thought I should share my own experience with y'all.

I had a girlfriend that was everything a brother could wish for, Rich, working class, beautiful, curvy, and brilliant, it's hard to get all these kind of qualities in a lady but there she had it all.

Her family are also well connected in the Army and Navy forces so she also had backup in case of any trouble, any party we attend, guys would always be admiring me but I alone knew her major flaw, she possessed a fiery temper. I'll just be receiving compliments and smiling but in my heart I'll be praying that somebody comes and snatch her from me cus we barely spend two days without quarreling and she's also quick to raise her hand on me, since I'm stronger than her I'll overpower her and tell her to respect herself.

I came from a home where I have never seen my parents arguing infront of us, they'll go to their room and talk it over without raising their voice so I promised myself that I'll never fight my woman no matter what but that was to change soon.

One evening I hosted her, her friend and boyfriend for a sleep over, they took the second room while I slept same room with my girl, around 5:30am I was awoken by a hot slap, I jumped up in surprise to meet my girlfriend fuming, she started screaming and calling me a cheat, I was surprised, asked her what happened and she claimed that she dreamt that I was having sex with another girl and when she woke up she wanted waking me to tell me of it when all of a sudden I muttered the name "Loveth" twice.

Chisos, I was mortified and tried explaining that Loveth was the name of my manager who is getting married later this year at my place of work and I had nothing going on with her, she kept accusing me, the next thing she slapped me, it was too early in the morning for me to get angry so I just grabbed my jacket and went to the parlour, her friend and boyfriend were already in the parlour wanting to find out what was the matter, I explained to them and went to kitchen to rest, not up to five minutes later she showed up and grabbed my boxer cus that was what I slept with.

When I didn't react she grabbed my balls with her left hand and my manhood with her right, that she was gonna squash my balls if i don't confess. I was in great pains and getting angry while warning her to let me go, managed to drag her to the parlour, her friend wanted to interfere but she threatened to deal with her if she comes near us.

I dragged her to the second bedroom and locked the door, I was trying to reason with her that my balls were aching but she wouldn't hear, out of anger I slapped her twice and yanked her hands off, she came at me again, I grabbed her two hands, twisted them behind her and took of the jacket, tie her hands and pushed her towards the bed before walking out. seems like she fell on her hands cus she screamed that her hand was broken, I ignored the shouts and went to the parlour as her friend went to attend to her.

I heard her telling her friend that if she didn't murder me that morning, she won't rest, when I heard that I went to my room and slipped under my bed with my phone. Ten minutes later she walked into my room with a baseball bat, chai I was laughing silently as she was searching for me, she went room by room searching and threatening her friend's boyfriend to reveal my whereabouts, what made her knew that I was still in that house was that both the front and back doors were still locked and the keys were indoors.

Then it stuck me, I remembered telling her that my favourite hiding spot was under my bed especially when I needed to work on something without interference cus she ran back to my room and slid under the bed, she saw me and tried hitting me but I was too far in. I thought she was kidding so I was laughing and jokingly warning her not to hit me.

Next thing she dragged the bed from the wall and tried attacking me again, then I knew shiiiit had hit the fan, I got up and tried defending myself, whenever she strikes I'll use the mattress to block the hit, she dragged the mattress away leaving me trapped between the bed post and wall, then I looked her direct to the eye and warned her to respect herself but even before I completed my statement she had landed the bat on the center of my head.

It was like I was hit with a tsunami, I was just hearing siren sounds in my ears as my vision became blurry, I was staggering but couldn't fall because I was still trapped beside the wall, my hand instinctively went to my head to check if my head was bursted open and that was my saving grace cus she hit me for the second time but since my hand was on that spot, she connected with my wrist instead, good Lord, I could barely see again as I screamed out, my nose was bleeding as she realised what she did and screamed too, her friends ran in and grabbed me, I told them they needed them to call my family doctor, that was all I remembered before I woke up that evening in the hospital with a throbbing headache and sprained wrist.

She later came to apologise but I wasn't gonna throw away my second chance at living, and we broke up few months later after numerous obsessive stalkings and threats, later found out that fighting was like a sport between her parents.


So my people this is my story, I was lucky, very lucky, please if your girlfriend always goes apeshit at every disagreement, abeg flee for your life.

Thank you

Mod please take it to FP let brothers learn from my experience.

You go fear domestic violence on top ordinary relationship oo.
Anyways, we thank God for your life

Hozier:
Nice story..... I have read better fiction in the literature section though.

The moment I read "she walked into my room with a baseball bat" I knew you were lying.

Asin ehh. That was where I lost it too. Who plays baseball in Nigeria for them to keep a baseball bat in their house

swiz123:



But you occasionally knocked your Lil sisters back then...

And oh! If you hadn't passed out, I'm sure you'd have beaten the bleep outta her.

Don't say you can't beat a woman, cos we men can beat even a nun. All we need is to be properly motivated

If i knock them and them tell my popsy na wahala i don jam, that was then sha, everybody don grow up, kid sis just got admission sef

BTW i could beat a woman to defend my life o, i simply underrated this my own

Osiris16:
Those doubting OP's story cuz of the baseball bat, weirdly we have a baseball bat in my family house too. It belonged to my late dad. I have no idea how he came by it and sadly he passed away before I was old enough to ask. So yeah, it's possible he has a baseball bat at home

Possible but highly unlikely bro. And her friend and bf were sitting in the parlour while she kept on attacking him with the bat . Only for them to rush to his aid after he had been beaten up

Same thing with hot tempered men. Nobody deserves to be abused in a relationship.

ibkayee:

Knew she was bad news, what a nutter. One day it will be a cutlass instead of a base ball bat

Glad you've left her, please don't fall for her apologies, she's clearly unstable and very dangerous

I‘ve moved on though, really liked her alot, how wish God allows us to mold the kind of partners we would like to have, this world would have been a whole lot better

BTW are you in U.S or U.K, please epp me greet POTUS or THE QUEEN, ehen and epp me beg father christmas to hire me for his christmas paroles

luminouz:
Transformer takes too long jor!

Oya jump inside river niger na