ImaIma1:


When you slander Nigerian ladies, you put us all into one box of conclusion. Even if you have dated up to 100 of them, it's still not enough to draw a conclusion.

But I understand that there's a bandwagon of women-haters and bashers who would never see the good in a woman, no matter what. It's just a mindset/mentality. They cannot see past negativity. And you are nicely tucked-in in this bandwagon. .

In this particular story, if it was the woman who came out with a sob story, you guys would have asked to hear from the guy...that she's not telling the whole truth, she must have done something wrong...typical average Nairaland guy mentality.

But it was a guy's sob story and you guys swallowed it hook line and sinker. No questions asked. Women are evil...this and that. Same guy comes out and says he embellished his story and guess what!! My Nairaland guys are still adamant, because that is how much they hate women.

And because their ego and pride won't allow them accept that they got it wrong this time. Why? Because it won't validate their claims about all the trash they spewed about women. And it's hard for all the hatred and bitterness towards women to evaporate just like that.

But don't worry. You guys will all be fine laslas .

Those people are not woman haters, they're incels. There are many of them on this forum. This is where they come to express their bitterness.

seanwilliam:
it is not following that same traditions that is causing a lot of problems these days

Like what?

Loool

NL and drama.

Blazinraj01:
lmao

And I'm sure he is a matured man . smfh

fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

So sad,that this is the best piece of advice that you could give.. I will advice that you purge the bitterness within you before it finish you.

Shalom

If woman from poor home see money, they go crazy
All they want is money, no love.

I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Sorry about your plights. Be rest assured that it will pass.However,I would advice that you don't lose your PERSON in this crisis.

We still have a lot of good women out there that are diligently,respectfully and faithfully carrying the family cross as bread-winners without looking down on the men.However,I will suggest that while you keep working on navigating this bend, try and be prayful ,get closer to good friends ,assist in the house in any way that you can and finally you can think of changing environment for a while.

Furthermore ,I would recommend that you follow Modupe Ehirim on facebook .She is elderly ,full of wisdom and a great marriage counsellor.

You can take this next post to the bank ;YOU WILL RISE AGAIN!

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

You're a smart person!!

Wow! It is well. May God protect us from evil minded embittered men! Na real wa o.

The crazy thing about us men is we demand too much from the women. Especially those of us on average income. To be honest, I understand why Nigerian women leave their husbands once they taste overseas. How can your wife be the bread winner and you still want her to perform 'womanly' duties? Some of you don't have conscience at all. You and your wife work same hours but you want wify to come home; tend to your sexual needs, cook your meals, clean the house, and handle the kids. Now that you have lost your power, you feel threatened. hehehe. Men who use money as a means to control women are the ones that end up being treated badly when they no longer have their wealth..

Nonetheless, that is not to say that, I also haven't seen the instance where a woman maltreats her husband due to lack of work. If you guys were doing okay before, and she suddenly changes, it's most likely the stress or you're not being a good house husband.

This life.

Misogyny took the thread from page 1 to about page 42, with hot teks and analyses flying left, right and centre.

Wife responded on page 44 and everything died down by page 47 and everyone was all 'oh, it takes a man to admit that he was wrong', 'saving one's marriage is more important yada yada yada', 'no dey chook mouth for husband and wife matter bulu bla bla'.

And na so everybody move on with their lives.

Hmmm.

Okay o.

sisisioge:
Wow! It is well. May God protect us from evil minded embittered men! Na real wa o.

Thisss gan gan is this prayer, maidia.

Ha! I just used my head to touch ground three times and gave glory to God for the greatness of this gender he created, and then used another three minutes in meditation to fear them.

May God really save us from these kind of men and not make our paths cross with them o.

Martinez39:
Na so. I know you are referring to me. Strungup79 has a very new account, he has few posts and his identity is unknown yet, somehow, a new moniker recognised him as her husband. I won't be surprised if that the account was created by one of the nairaland bimbos (maybe you) to give credence to the narrative that women are compassionate angels and victims who can do no wrong while men are beasts. The desperation to validate such narrative is really intense. Nothing can spoil the red-pill seeds planted on this thread and men must begin to see women for what they are.

Strungup79, I hope you respond.

You believed the OP automatically but you want to question the woman claiming to be his wife??

Shame on you. You're yet to apologise.

What an entire shitshow of a thread!

I am Strungup79's wife and I have watched the drama here unfold in silence. Here is a copy of a message I just sent my husband on WhatsApp. I hope it will put things in clearer light.

I'll try to keep this brief. I started this year on a sour note, crying bitterly. Because of you total strangers called me bitch and all sorts of unprintable names. Some even went as far as saying I was diabolical and ¹reversed your fortunes with juju, and you basked in it all, all because of the lies you told them. You have repeatedly told your siblings the same lies. I emasculate you. Really? I emaaculate you yet i led my colleagues, our neighbours and practically everyone I know to believe that you are the breadwinner and doing a marvellous job. I emasculate you, yet when the rent needs to be paid, I pay it into your account first just so no one will know. I earn good money but no one knows it because everything goes into running this family. I don't save a dime. I NEVER complained about you not working these past 4 or 5 years. You complained about me spending a lot of time at my mum's place. I do that so that I can avoid the endless streams of alterations with you, and for other reasons I'll spare everyone here.

Every single time you bring this up, I reassure you that all I want is the best for you. I encourage you, fast and pray for you, yet I'm a bad wife. You actually called our daughter and told her I am a bad wife. She cried her eyes out when she told me all the nasty things you told her. I have never in the 10 years we've been married said anything disparaging to her about you despite your many short comings. You put me through hell and I just take in stride.

You also told your fans I had nothing when you married me. I had a job and I wasn't doing badly. In fact I practically funded our wedding with the help of my family. I could go on forever. Or is it the fact that you used to leave the house for days on end without communication, leaving me to wonder if you met with some misfortune or something. How many times did i show up at your office haggard and scared early in the morning just to confirm you are alright? I actually wear my younger sister's hand me downs just to save enough to keep this family going.

Your siblings all believe I am a bad person thanks to the endless lies you've told them and I've borne it all. During your last visit, you complained about the fact that I always seemed unhappy and heckled and I explained to you the stress I am under. Our rent is due. Our daughter's fees of over a hundred thousand needs to be paid. Utility bills, feeding...these are some of the burdens I have to deal with. I explained how burdened I felt. I also explained that having to clean up after you constantly worsens my stress. While you were here, I battled insomnia for almost two weeks straight, without compassion or help. I could fill a page with all that is wrong with this marriage. It's never you. You are perfect and righteous and I am a wicked woman. We quarrel like every husband and wife and regardless of whether it's my fault or not, I apologise so that peace will reign. I have suffered humiliation at your hands but you go around damaging my character so people will pity you. Guess what? The truth cannot be hidden. It may take time, but it will come out. I take solace in that.

I will beat my chest and tell you that no woman on this earth will bear what I bore at your hands or care for you like I have. Since you are so unhappy, I think you should take out time and find yourself. I also need time to pray and to heal from this emotional trauma, so please let's give ourselves a year at least to decide what to do next. I wish you the best.

Women, don't stay in a relationship /marriage that's out of love. Stop forcing it cuz it won't/can never work no matter what rather it will make you to be a shadow of yourself.


I wonder why GOD created those type of Men, for filling the Earth surface? no one knows.
But he wasted his time /strength


“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart''.
Since you knew each one of us /and what we will become, sorry to say "you could have terminated the bad ones among us right from the womb before they become monsters"


I really feel pity.

I keep saying I will no longer respond but for reasons I don't understand this harsh judgement by total strangers is really hurting me. It hurts like hell to be labelled a liar when you are not. It hurts also to be at the receiving end of false accusations. It is indeed a man's world. Look at the number of men here crucifying me for nothing. I have been through hell but it's fine. I've got God. Like I keep saying the truth will come out. I will be vindicated unless my God is no longer alive. Meanwhile I will plead with you all to please desist from the disparaging remarks or stop making any at all. I am a real human being with feelings and I don't deserve this. I need to focus on my job now and on healing my heart. God I make this prayer here openly, please vindicate me the way you vindicated Mordecai and heal my wounds. Give me songs of joy in the place of this heartbreak.

Hope you have found peace now.

lol. You cannot know the heart of a woman toll ur broke or sick. Thats life. We the men dey use money entice them to date us too

Nothing can be more true than this, the broke or sick part

Oh girl, you can't make heaven oh.

fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining