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My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 007kjb: 1:25pm On Aug 21, 2023
Blaze14k:


What do you suggest.. should I ignore them and marry her. Who will attend the wedding and how do you I will cope with my family after that? I refuse to accept what they are saying cos it doesn't make sense to me.

U better leave that girl if she is an OSU If not all the days of your life will be full of tears

Secondly don't ever get into any marriage that your kinsmen didn't endorse

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Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Nobody: 1:25pm On Aug 21, 2023
Persephone1:
Let me wait for the Igbos to help Op.

We Yorubas have no issues, nah person we see we follow go grin grin

We no get wahala, wetin concern us with yeye discrimination when we know we aren't God that creates human beings.

Can you imagine a tradition where some people are regarded as outcasts, meanwhile they cannot create a single strand of hair, talk less of a human being. Even in my next life, if I come as a Nigerian, I would be a Yoruba man.

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Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Pinzzle7: 1:26pm On Aug 21, 2023
😂😂😂 u neva ready to marry

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Greenbirth: 1:27pm On Aug 21, 2023
If your mom is rejecting her, leave the girl , don't engage in controversial marriage that will divide your family

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by POWERFULGOD: 1:29pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



PRAY AGAINST THE SPIRIT OF POVERTY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED EVERY WEEKEND IN ALL THOSE PLACES YOU ARE MENTIONING.


SO, I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.



WORK HARD!


You funny..... If the indigenous people are staying far why you.... ..
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:29pm On Aug 21, 2023
POWERFULGOD:



Please you seem not to understand.... This one no be matter of understanding or compromise , look for who will tell you more probably from their experiences...


I DO, THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE IT IS FOR THE GENERATION BORN INTO IT TO PASS ON.

THE YOUNGER GENERATION DONT UNDERSTAND ALL THIS OSU BUSINESS, ONLY OUR PARENTS DO.

HOWEVER, I DONT KNOW ABOUT THOSE GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE, THEY MIGHT BE THE EXCEPTION AND STUMBLING BLOCK TO LEAVING THIS CULTURE BEHIND.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 1Sharon(f): 1:29pm On Aug 21, 2023
POWERFULGOD:


To be frank with you I have witnessed and hear from my parents as well... It's not an easy ride.... I won't like my children to pass such stigma and discrimination ... Oh if they can be truthful here they will tell you that they do have a sign they to do make to identify themselves in a public gathering.. I know this for sure..... Thou I understand them because that stigma is hellish...
For another example... During early or late 1990s the way people discriminate HIV/AIDS

What did you witness?
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:29pm On Aug 21, 2023
POWERFULGOD:



You funny, so you don't know why IMO state especially OWERRI are no go Area..... If there indigenous people are staying far why you.... ..


YOUR NOT SERIOUS.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by BinamRex: 1:30pm On Aug 21, 2023
talented321:
Your mama and the elders see more than u see'' you are in love why they are not'' you want to please ur girl why they are not''
Don't play with it whenever ur parents bring up issues like this'' many of them are talking from experience''

In this case, they don't see anything more than the poster. They are just prejudiced. It's not every piece of advice you should take from an elderly person. Fools grow old too, you know. A person who is foolish in his youth will grow up to be foolish and because he/she has grey hair, you might be tempted to accept their advice as sheer wisdom.

Jesus died for our sins and set everyone free. There is no Osu. We are all freeborn. You are a man. God against your people's wish if you are convinced that she is a good girl.

But is this how they will be discriminating against one another when they finally get Biafra?
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by pansophist(m): 1:31pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



PRAY AGAINST THE SPIRIT OF POVERTY BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED EVERY WEEKEND IN ALL THOSE PLACES YOU ARE MENTIONING.

SO, I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

WORK HARD!

Typically Igbo man grin

Which one is praying against poverty again? Me wey don defeat poverty since grin

The data on the ground doesn't support your position. Most people in Nigeria don't have 500usd, which is 500k.

So tell me, where are these rich men bikonu? Instead of you to see the merit in my point, you infused your bias into it.

Now tell me, how is an expensive bride price that will bankrupt a home that is just starting a good thing?

What about a parent blessing the home of his daughter, and even giving them some money to start a family with?

If a man wants to marry my daughter, I won't collect any bride price. Instead, I will rather give them payment for a house, or a car, and contribute to their wedding.

I will ask the man whats up? If he needs help with establishing himself, I will support him further. I wont see himas a victim to cash out from.

I will be a giver, not a receiver. The couples are just starting their life, why not prop them up instead of seeing them as a means to cash out?

I don't care if it is culture, it just doesn't make sense to me. In that regard, some Igbo cultures especially imo are parasitic.

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Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by BinamRex: 1:31pm On Aug 21, 2023
Pinzzle7:
😂😂😂 u neva ready to marry

I swear, he is not ready
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 1Sharon(f): 1:32pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



I HOPE YOU KNOW BRIDE PRICE IS AFRICAN NOT IGBO?


HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO IT LIKE THE YORUBA IN NIGERIA? NONE!



Seriously??

Are you comparing igbo and yoruba bride price?


Igbo bride price is a way to extort men and get rich.

Nonsense.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:33pm On Aug 21, 2023
pansophist:


Typically Igbo man grin

Which one is praying against poverty again? Me wey don defeat poverty since grin

The data on the ground doesn't support your position. Most people in Nigeria don't have 500usd, which is 500k.

So tell me, where are these rich men bikonu? Instead of you to see the merit in my point, you infused your bias into it.

Now tell me, how is an expensive bride price that will bankrupt a home that is just starting a good thing?

What about a parent blessing the home of his daughter, and even giving them some money to start a family with?

If a man wants to marry my daughter, I won't collect any bride price. Instead, I will rather give them a loan for a down payment on a house, or car, and contribute to their wedding.

I will be a giver, not a receiver. The couples are just starting their life, why not prop them up instead of seeing them as a means to cash out?

I don't care if it is culture, it just doesn't make sense to me. In that regard, some Igbo cultures especially imo is parasitic.



DID YOUR PARENTS MARRY?


EVEN THE MOST POOR RIGHT THERE IN THE VILLAGES ARE GETTING MARRIED.


IS MARRAIGE COMMON IN THOSE PLACES YOU MENTIONED? YES!


SO PARDON ME IF I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU.


U COME ACROSS AS A LAZY MAN.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Melkizedeck: 1:34pm On Aug 21, 2023
Zico5:
They can't even marry themselves but they want one OSU to become our president. Never!!!!!


I don laff tire!!!
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:35pm On Aug 21, 2023
1Sharon:


Seriously??

Are you comparing igbo and yoruba bride price?


Igbo bride price is a way to extort men and get rich.

Nonsense.



HAVE YOU TRY GOING TO CONGO AND KENYA, TO COMPARE THEIR BRIDE PRICE TO NIGERIA?


HOW MUCH DID BUHARI COLLECT FOR HIS DAUGHTER? GOLD


IN KENYA IS SEVERAL COWS.


IN CONGO, YOU WILL SEE LIST.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:36pm On Aug 21, 2023
Igbos and prejudice/bigotry.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 1Sharon(f): 1:37pm On Aug 21, 2023
pansophist:


Typically Igbo man grin

Which one is praying against poverty again? Me wey don defeat poverty since grin

The data on the ground doesn't support your position. Most people in Nigeria don't have 500usd, which is 500k.

So tell me, where are these rich men bikonu? Instead of you to see the merit in my point, you infused your bias into it.

Now tell me, how is an expensive bride price that will bankrupt a home that is just starting a good thing?

What about a parent blessing the home of his daughter, and even giving them some money to start a family with?

If a man wants to marry my daughter, I won't collect any bride price. Instead, I will rather give them payment for a house, or a car, and contribute to their wedding.

I will ask the man whats up? If he needs help with establishing himself, I will support him further. I wont see himas a victim to cash out from.

I will be a giver, not a receiver. The couples are just starting their life, why not prop them up instead of seeing them as a means to cash out?

I don't care if it is culture, it just doesn't make sense to me. In that regard, some Igbo cultures especially imo are parasitic.


I've already said it before that the practise of bride price should be abolished.

It is the source of misogyny against women.

But some greedy people don't care.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:38pm On Aug 21, 2023
1Sharon:


Seriously??

Are you comparing igbo and yoruba bride price?


Igbo bride price is a way to extort men and get rich.

Nonsense.



ALSO, STOP COMPARING IGBO AND YORUBA, WE DONT EVEN SHARE BORDERS.


IF YOU WANT TO COMPARE, BRING IN ALL THE TRIBES IN NIGERIA AND AFRICA.


IGBO IS NOT YORUBA AND YORUBA IS NOT IGBO.


NIGERIA WE HAVE IN COMMON WITH MANY OTHER GROUPS LUMPED TOGETHER BY THE BRITISH.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by pansophist(m): 1:38pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



DID YOUR PARENTS MARRY?


EVEN THE MOST POOR RIGHT THERE IN THE VILLAGES ARE GETTING MARRIED.


IS MARRAIGE COMMON IN THOSE PLACES YOU MENTIONED? YES!


SO PARDON ME IF I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU.


U COME ACROSS AS A LAZY MAN.

You seriously are personalizing this issue to me. Cant you discuss neutrally bikonu?

Yes, my parents got married, and are still married. So what's your point sef? And no, when my sister got married, my parents did exactly that. No one naira was collected from my inlaws, and they were given lots of gifts including cash, to start their home.

You think it is every Nigerian that practice that backward system of seeing a man as a means to cash out from? Where is your self-respect?

So you see, it's not a big deal. No matter how you twist, misunderstand, or misinterpret my point, my position is simple.

Which is, don't see a man as a wallet to ransack. He is a human that Nigeria is also dealing with. Be easy and don't see him as a means to cure your poverty problem. That is my point.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by POWERFULGOD: 1:39pm On Aug 21, 2023
1Sharon:


What did you witness?

I'm sorry I can't say much here again .... It might be too insensitive to others....

P. S
Don't quote hammerT again is like he want to fight....

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:41pm On Aug 21, 2023
pansophist:


You seriously are personalizing this issue to me. Cant you discuss neutrally bikonu?

Yes, my parents got married, and are still married. So what's your point sef? And no, when my sister got married, my parents did exactly that. No one naira was collected from my inlaws, and they were given lots of gifts including cash, to start their home.

You think it is every Nigerian that practice that backward system of seeing a man as a means to cash out from? Where is your self-respect?

So you see, it's not a big deal. No matter how you twist, misunderstand, or misinterpret my point, my position is simple.

Which is, don't see a man as a wallet to ransack. He is a human that Nigeria is also dealing with. Be easy and don't see him as a means to cure your poverty problem. That is my point.

I WILL COPY A CLIP FROM A CONGOLESE MAN TALKING ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BRIDE PRICE AND COPY YOU IN AS SOON AS I FIND IT.

LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY TO HIM BECAUSE I 'M TIRED OF STATING THE OBVIOUS TO SOMEONE NOT PREPARED TO LEARN.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by crossbreedwears(m): 1:41pm On Aug 21, 2023
There is nothing prayer cannot do. I believe there are traditional things, but the same traditions have giving most of us setback in life. I won't sag much
Kobicove:


First thing you need to do is to confirm if her family is actually Osu.

Whatever you do just bear in mind that if she is an Osu and you marry her at some point in the future the stigma will also rub off on your kids with her...are you ready for this?

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 1Sharon(f): 1:41pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



HAVE YOU TRY GOING TO CONGO AND KENYA, TO COMPARE THEIR BRIDE PRICE TO NIGERIA?


HOW MUCH DID BUHARI COLLECT FOR HIS DAUGHTER? GOLD


IN KENYA IS SEVERAL COWS.


IN CONGO, YOU WILL SEE LIST.

If it is true that the bride price of Congo and Kenya is extortionate, then it also needs to be abolished.

Did buhari's daughter marry a poor struggling man

Gold is appropriate.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by POWERFULGOD: 1:42pm On Aug 21, 2023
pansophist:


You seriously are personalizing this issue to me. Cant you discuss neutrally bikonu?

Yes, my parents got married, and are still married. So what's your point sef? And no, when my sister got married, my parents did exactly that. No one naira was collected from my inlaws, and they were given lots of gifts including cash, to start their home.

So you see, it's not a big deal. No matter how you twist, misunderstand, or misinterpret my point, my position is simple.

Which is, don't see a man as a wallet to ransack. He is a human that Nigeria is also dealing with. Be easy and don't see him as a means to cure your poverty problem. That is my point.



It's kind of personal to him... Me I Don Comot hand.... Down side is that people who suppose learn one or two will not because of person like him.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by hammerT: 1:42pm On Aug 21, 2023
1Sharon:


If it is true that the bride price of Congo and Kenya is extortionate, then it also needs to be abolished.

Did buhari's daughter marry a poor struggling man

Gold is appropriate.


WHO ARE YOU TO ABOLISH ANYTHING.

I THINK MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ABOLISHED, BECAUSE IT IS OUTDATED.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Danisaint112(m): 1:43pm On Aug 21, 2023
flokii:
So this OSU Caste thing is still existing in Igboland.. I wonder the kind of prayers these people claim to pray when they still regard some of their fellow kiths and kins as outcasts.

In as much the believe and practice by few Igbos is wrong, at Least they are better than your people that allowed men on Jalabiya with AK47 to overrun their town. grin

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:43pm On Aug 21, 2023
sgtponzihater1:
If your mum does not support a marriage, the most prudent thing is to let go of it. Someone else will come along.

You're not serious.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by 1Sharon(f): 1:44pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:



WHO ARE YOU TO ABOLISH ANYTHING.

I THINK MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ABOLISHED, BECAUSE IT IS OUTDATED.

Did women not used to drink the dead body water of their late husbands? 🥴

Where is that practise today?

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by clydecarson(m): 1:45pm On Aug 21, 2023
Blaze14k:
I would like to use this opportunity to seek guidance based on the issue I have on ground. I believe it's igbos especially elderly person who is in a better position to give me a reasonable explanation. I told my mum my girlfriend is from ohafia, abia state and she instantly told me I can't get married to her. Her reason is because people from ohafia, arochukwu, izombe, and few other places in abia state are regarded as OSU. I complained to other members of my family but they also rejected her.



I have made some research personally and found out people from other part of igboland marry from those places. Now my question is why are they strongly rejecting her cos it doesn't make sense to call everybody from different local government in abia state OSU.

I've made more research on the girls family and found out they are king makers and her father belongs to eze's cabinet.

Her father and mine are no longer alive. They both have a traditional title and belong to eze's cabinet too. Please I need your advice cos I really want marry this girl. I also know that people encounter alot of difficulties when they want to get married. So I need a clarification from someone who has extensive knowledge on igbo tradition. Thank you




Abeg give me the babe if you no do again....I'm from arochukwu ohafia to be precise,Y'all listen to stories from the 90s without asking people from the said state your parents refused you marrying


My guy if you loose that babe e go pain you,no be your parents go marry her for you

You gats dey sharp

3 Likes

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by pansophist(m): 1:45pm On Aug 21, 2023
hammerT:


I WILL COPY A CLIP FROM A CONGOLESE MAN TALKING ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BRIDE PRICE AND COPY YOU IN AS SOON AS I FIND IT.

LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY TO HIM BECAUSE I 'M TIRED OF STATING THE OBVIOUS TO SOMEONE NOT PREPARED TO LEARN.

Mr man, collect the Bride price. All I am saying is that you should practice humanity while doing it. Don't make the man bitter and poorer just because he married your sister/daughter.

A few weeks ago, a thread hit the frontpage about a newly married woman complaining that her husband have changed for the worse after their wedding night,

ANd when she asked him, he explained that he is in debt, and the money he paid for brideprice is so much. The man was broke just because he married her.

I mean, I do not want any man to be broke because he married my sister or my daughter, instead, I want her presence in his life to boost him higher, and she will be a true blessing to him.

WHich school you go sef? I cant believe this is too hard for you to get. COllect bride price, just don't kill the man with bills, thats all.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by darkmarky(m): 1:46pm On Aug 21, 2023
talented321:
Your mama and the elders see more than u see'' you are in love why they are not'' you want to please ur girl why they are not''
Don't play with it whenever ur parents bring up issues like this'' many of them are talking from experience''
see rubbish.
Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Daddy46: 1:47pm On Aug 21, 2023
Persephone1:
While this looks very pleasing to read, I won't advice a lady to get married into a family she's not wanted. Except of course the husband wants to cut ties and she won't have to deal with inlaws ever (which is very unrealistic and unreasonable).

Too much stress for nothing.
let me add to it please don't allow that lady to undergo problem for the rest of her life if the both of you can leave the country that still better but in as much your family don't support her she will see renew shege promax write it down,your family will never give her breathing space that's Africa for you.watin culture and religion belief go cause for Africa

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