About Women Making The First Move. - Romance - Nairaland
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| About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:30pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean! Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed. But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you  . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation. And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol. Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to. Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about. 65 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
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| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 2:38pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
When a lady makes the first move, she suppose to be diplomatic in her approach and such move can be approved when she and the guy have known for long albeit him been a dude who is too shy to express his feeling. Perhaps maybe the lady you are talking about oliviaarims was too forward in her approach and also dressed seductively. There are ways to make your move on a guy you have crush on come out of his shell of shyness and if despite your move he is still not proffering his love to you, just assume he is not into you and that doesn't make him less of a man. 50 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by falconey(m): 2:39pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
hmmm |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:40pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
@olivaarims, I agree with you, but not completely. It all depends on the reason behind taking that step and the circumstances surrounding making that decision. Let me explain. If it's in the case of a girl meeting a guy for the first time or just meeting him on a couple of occasions, or being a regular associate of his, then just giving him the green light is okay. But how about a situation that involves two close friends that aren't in a romantic relationship? The idea of the guy viewing the girl as desperate or not taking her seriously all centers on the fact that, he doesn't actually know her too well or doesn't understand her reason for asking him out, but in the case of two people who already understand each other, but aren't really sure or certain of what they actually want, I think the girl can make that step and suggest taking their friendship to another level, besides, I am of the opinion that if a guy already has feelings for a lady and she summons up the courage to ask him out, he'd appreciate it. And please, let's not confuse asking to date someone for proposing to marry someone. They are two completely different concepts, and one is slightly less serious than the other. 34 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:41pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
 Truth be told...I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me... I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month? ...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....! 59 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by CaroLyner(f): 2:42pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
2 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by RexKexMilann: 2:43pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
O God! SMH. Nice Article Olivia! I Like.. 2 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Erystro(m): 2:44pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
. |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Erystro(m): 2:48pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
everyone is entitled to his or her opinion 2 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Laveda(f): 2:49pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Nah... I can't try that shít again.. Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him .11 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Mjshexy(f): 2:50pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Would you prefer to just allow that same man u so much like/love walk away just like that all because of Pride? I tell u this, most of us guys honestly respect ladies who can boldly walk up to us, compliment us, talk about our nice scent, our look, dressing, gentleness, attitude etc..And from there we become friends which can eventually lead to a relationship after the guy must have noticed the lady's caring nature, sincere love & if truly he desires her. Let me quickly chip in this, the way u approach a guy & your behaviour/attitude towards him is what will determine the seriousness he will give to you, Pride goes before a fall dearie...Happy New Year  42 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by TrapKNNG(m): 2:51pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
OP you are Wrong! Very wrong! Lemmie tell you why.. The last serious relationship I was in was with a wonderful wonderful lady. She practically wooed me from top to bottom, left-right and center, and I respected her for that. I grew fond of her, I agreed and we started dating but never did I look down on her for one day!! At a point in the relationship, it didn't even matter who did the wooing cos I forgot about that and took charge of my relationship like the man that I am. we had fights like every normal couple nd did all the normal stuff regardless of who wooed who. So quit deceiving ladies out there. A guy might be shy and thus a little bit apprehensive about approaching his crush, the crush on the other hand might pick up his signal and decide to throw him a bone! Its no biggie!! 80 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:54pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same. Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead. You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs. Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike...  148 Likes 23 Shares |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:54pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Why should I approach a guy? Am I mad? ERM....... lemme practice ............ Me: hi Ray Ray: hi dear friend Me: ( silence). Ray am I still a friend to u? Ray: Yes you are hun . my very good friend. Me: hmmmmmmmmm but I ...... I......... Ray: what's it diddy ? Me: I want more of you Ray: ( speechless). Bae na sinach sing am Me: ( force a hard laugh) You. caught me there Mtcheeeeeewwww I can't do it.  There are other ways to go after what you want without being direct. it works for some people tho but the chances are slim . 18 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 2:55pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: LOL. |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:56pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Decker: Alright. That's an acceptable instance u gave. That's why I said whoever advocates that it's okay for a girl to make the first move should elaborate on the circumstances. Sure, marriage proposal and dating are two different things. I think it would even be better for a girl to ask a guy to marry her than asking him to date her. Because, before the question of marriage can come up, they must have had sth tangible going and she must have viewed the situation as OK. Plus, a guy would almost never agree to marry a girl except he truly loves and wants to settle down with her. But he can date her without loving her or intending to marry her. If she's ready to get married and he isn't, she can decide to take a walk. 4 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 2:57pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Kachisbarbie: At the bolded, Please can you explain in details. |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by RexKexMilann: 2:57pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
CaroLyner:Calm Down Caro. Not everyone is Well equiped with the art of mastering subtle signs. What if your green light is quite not green to him? I will advice you to discard that ideology. Stop giving guys Greenlight before Age will give you red Light. Biko! 45 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 2:57pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda:Try me...i won't turn you down. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by misspicy(f): 2:58pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
lol,and I was telling someone this the other day,NL guys came for me Maybe in another life time I will ask a guy out again,bae you will be seen as a desperate one... #truetalk 3 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Laveda(f): 2:59pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
iyke926:Oh! Okay.. 1 Like |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:00pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
wristbangle: Seeing the green light should be enough to make him overcome his shyness. Why should he be shy with sb he's known for a long time, anyway? 2 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:01pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
wristbangle:you will hear some girls say something like, "can't you see I am not in the mood?" "I am in hurry"... etc. So, I am saying, same way we expect a guy to know when we are in the mood to be approached, we should watch out for his own mood too before approaching. 13 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:01pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
RexKexMilann: Lol. Thanks. BTW.. Keep jumping from one acct to the other |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 3:03pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Oliviaarims: The only answer to your question is, He is NOT in love with such lady. 1 Like |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by joliyp(f): 3:04pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
first move? what happened to his leg 2 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:04pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:06pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Mjshexy: Those examples u listed up there are what we sum up as giving the green light. And, hey.. A lil bit of pride is very necessary. Everybody's got to have pride. Pride is OK. Arrogance isn't. 4 Likes |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 3:06pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Kachisbarbie: Thank you madam kachis Most times ladies say they are not in the mood. So when do we know they are in the mood? Their response, facial acceptance, body language or what? Remember guys are not wizard to decipher if a lady is in the mood or not. Playing hard to get kills morale a lot. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 3:07pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
Laveda: Lol.....so you know how it feels like.? |
| Re: About Women Making The First Move. by wristbangle: 3:08pm On Jan 02, 2016 |
joliyp: Lol, do you think its easy to deal with rejection? 1 Like |
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