AfroKnight:
Bro, if you know that she is very serious about what she said, I'd advice you to look for a replacement.

This is a very bad mindset. At some point you will take on expensive projects that will make you spend less on the home front. This disposition of hers means you can not count on her assistance at this time. If you need to pay for quality aluminium roofing for your building project, and you have just enough fund for that, you would have to settle for less quality slates because you know there is no backup from your wife. How far can such a husband go?

How can a husband progress when he cannot afford to invest heavily in the future just because his wife wouldn't support him? It is a hindrance.

If you still want her, please settle it in your mind that you are on your own, financially. However, this is not how a family should be.

deyemia:


Some part of me still can't believe she seriously meant that. If everyone on NL knows its a dangerous mindset then she should also know it's a terrible ideology.

But then, this is marriage where one cant afford to make a mistake.

I will try a bit of patience and dialogue and I hope my instincts dont betray me..

Thanks bro

Estharfabian:

Not Only is Her mentality Archaic, It's Outrightly Irrational, Pathetic and dumb.

LoL!

So! The Only thing she'd bring to the table is her Pûssy? Baby Making machine?
I wouldn't Call her A Wife. I'd call her A Parasitic Being.
Coz Last time I checked, the holy book stated as thus:

"God assigned the married woman the responsibility of being a helpmate to her husband ( Genesis 2:18 , 20)." Not just some fûck mate, baggage or a baby producing machine.


...Trust me, You don't want such woman in your house!
Coz money for maggi, salt, tissue paper, pad, matchboxes would be on You.

Well, except she changes that fûcked up mentality she's got.

deyemia:


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

AfroKnight:


Bro, does she buy you gifts? Birthday, Christmas, Valentine or random gifts? If no, please don't even expect a change. Don't disappoint yourself.

She wants to be a wife but why is she planning to carry on with the reasoning of a single lady? A marriage is the most fundamental form of Partnership.

She must be willing to "cover the nakèdness" of her husband just like he covers her. If she has money and her husband is broke, outsiders must not even smell the situation. Tell her this.

If she still insists on withholding financial assistance from her husband, well, many other ladies out there are supportive. If you still want to marry her, you already know what to expect.

Just realize that for the next 60 or so years you must always have an infallible finance and never over-extend yourself cos she won't lend a helping hand.

adepeter26:

RomancelandeRs shout hallelujah.


Estharfabián preaching & quoting Bible verse 4 d 1st time.


I neva knew u could preach like this babe

I've given my life to Christ!

bless You brother!

deyemia:


Some part of me still can't believe she seriously meant that. If everyone on NL knows its a dangerous mindset then she should also know it's a terrible ideology.

But then, this is marriage where one cant afford to make a mistake.

I will try a bit of patience and dialogue and I hope my instincts dont betray me..

Thanks bro

halfricanadian:
rubbish mindset

with d lesson wey i don learn i av to be fuly responsible for my sef hubby money goes to d kids no spend on me dats just it av learnt my lesson

Change that mindset of hers ok

How can u have money in d bank nd let ur family drink garri?? oga she is joking

deyemia:


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

Estharfabian:
I've given my life to Christ!

bless You brother!

PushPlay:



He should change her mindset like he controls her mind right?

deyemia:


Dear Nairalanders,

I've come again to hear your views about this issue.... especially married "Egbons"

So it all started like this, My new fiancee and I just finished a sunday service and I was about going to drop her at home when one of her single friends asked if she could join us which we agreed.

On our way they started talking all wife stuffs sharing their views on a marriage and shii, then one thing led to a financial topic where my fiancee started saying she can never support a husband financially, that a man should be a man and take all responsibilities of every penny to be spent, that the reason she's working is to be able to afford all the things she wants that all the responsibilities of the household is for the husband . I acted cool at first.

Her friend was even saying that she doesnt like to be a liability that at least it should not be the man's responsibility 100% that the wife should be able to support financially, My fiancee outrightly disagreed with her saying support doesnt have to be financial from the wife, that it could be through prayers.

I couldnt keep mute anymore I had to ask her "what does it mean when people say supportive wife? " she replied she doesn't know, that she's sure it doesnt have to be financial.

At some point when the friend had already alighted, I asked what if the man is building a house and needs immediate support for just window frames, she said never!

She even said if she has money in the bank and their is no food at home, we will all drink Garri.

Now here are the facts,
-We got introduced through match making,
-there are some good things about her that is worth consideration.
-I dont think she has dated before because she obviously has no experience whats so ever when it comes to relationship behaviours. she's "efikko" kind of.
-This her ideology seems deep rooted in her upbringing and family., her mum is rich.

My Challenge is,
Should I stick around and try to change that ideology or just move on because I am sure it's a destructive ideology.

halfricanadian:


I meant he should talk to her

PushPlay:


That's the best he can do but it's up to her to change her way of thinking when it comes to marriage and finances.

adepeter26:
Wat the Lord has started in your life will be permanent sweetie *lool*
Amen jare.
Other peepx shld emulate u oo

deyemia:
[size=18pt] I cant help but wonder why no one that commented on this post shares that same mentality or support her view! This is more serious than I thought[/size]

halfricanadian:


Ok cool op come and see nd learn o

mikolo80:
her money her rules. what if she dies or turn housewife, won't you provide for the family. so long as she doesn't complain about her other wifelyduties, move on. see you o, de plan to spend another pesin moni

PushPlay:


I believe the girl in question is taking advantage of her privileged background since she would believe every potential suitor could be a leech. I noticed that from OP statement about her mom being rich. It is up to the guy to prove her wrong.

LaurelP:
Girls like her don't change, believe me. That belief has been ingrained in her probably by her mother or a very close friend, so you'd be wasting ur time.

She is the type that would not like to see u help ur relatives, just focus on only her and the children.

olac21:


What a poorly thought-out comment from a niqqa!a careful perusal will help your thinking next time I think!yollo

PushPlay:


I believe the girl in question is taking advantage of her privileged background since she would believe every potential suitor could be a leech. I noticed that from OP statement about her mom being rich. It is up to the guy to prove her wrong.

deyemia:


Not at all, we just started courting not long ago, about three months now, her bday just passed in feb. I got her a lovely cake and a wrist watch, she really appreciated the gifts and I was happy too.

My birthday is this month, I told her and she brought out her phone to save the date. I'll keep my fingers crossed and see what happens on that day.

I strongly hope she doesnt disappoint after all she said today. If not for what she said today, I wouldnt be looking forward to getting anything from her.

DonCortino:
Its not late for you yet, God has just used her friend to expose the type of wife she will be. Read the handwriting on the wall!