Toks2008:


Due diligence is mostly centered on the person you want to have as a spouse and not just the family.

RadiantBae:


Absolutely he did! People keep arguing the extreme which is marrying a stranger. Op said a year of dating is more than enough if you are ready which means you ask the right questions, bring about the right circumstances and know what you want in a mate. Meet the right people in their family and be serious about actually getting married. Not meet in the bedroom and leave and think you know that person. Live together for 6 months of that year with the intention of leading and working towards marriage. All this boyfriend girlfriend stuff is for those women under 25 and men under 30. After that we should be old enough to know what we want out of life.

Toks2008:
Each time I hear people talk about getting married as one big task I just shake my head at their ignorance.

Ask any single guy or lady of advanced marriageable age why s/he is still single and you are certain to hear words like..."I'm taking my time,can't rush in and rush out,I need to be sure I'm with the right person...." but the question is ;"Does the fact that you are extremely careful in choosing a spouse guarantees a happy marriage?

Getting married is the easiest task anyone can accomplish and far easier than complicated courtship but we tend to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

You can't be too careful or careless when it comes to your choice of spouse because there is no good or bad choice but what we have is "YOUR CHOICE". Good people can turn very bad and a great courtship is no guaranty of a great marriage so take the risk and stop wasting your time in the name of "being careful"

So if you are a man or lady who is really interested in getting married then read this.

1.For the guys :

Understand that whatever pleases your eyes will inadvertently please your soul so go for a lady that catches your fancy physically, ask her some basic questions about her persona,do a quick background check on her and if you are ok with your findings just take the risk as long as you can feed yourself and one more person and also have a place of your own.

If you can afford a lavish wedding then go ahead but if not talk to your woman about doing a small wedding by paying her bride price and going to the registry while you both plan for a bigger wedding.

If she refuses then help her foolishness by enjoying wify duties from her while she continues to wait but if she accepts your plan please go ahead and marry her and try to work out your differences...

Remember that you can never know a woman but you can only try to understand her gradually only when you start living together.

And remember that though GOD hates divorce,there is always an option of walking away from the marriage if needs be.

2.For the ladies:

Save your self the bull poo of dating and courtship...it's a total waste of time cos it's no guaranty of a happy union.

Except you are a teenager or in your adolescent when dating is mostly just for the fun of it,if you are really interested in a purposeful affair then you don't need to court any guy for more than a year.

If you see a guy you have strong desire for and he says he wants you,...do a quick background check on him and if you are ok with your findings..take that risk and go for it...

Stop complicating your life about doing an expensive wedding by fire by force...you can always do that latter but if the money is available then go ahead with the wedding of your dreams

I have seen many guys and ladies despite their over Sabi and meticulous courtship still break up with their spouse so why fool yourself.

If you like continue to waste your time looking for the ideal man and fooling yourself in the name of courtship while actually getting used by the guy.

Dating and long courtship is for boys and girls who just want to catch fun.
No matter how hard you try and how long you court a man, you can never truly know any man until you start living with him and a guy that truly wants you as a wife does not need any yeye long courtship with you.

Marriage is overrated so stop killing yourself trying to be in the best marriage...just take the risk...if it favors you,stay and if it becomes unbearable,take a bow so why waste your time trying to be too careful when you can never be sure of getting an ideal man or woman no matter how careful you may be.

My take.

Alesandese:
Could you pls desist from using the 'f' word all the time? You are shouting at your audience

ObinzeRoyEmeka:
Dont u fucck? Stop being an hypocrite!

Alesandese:
Don't you reason? Stop being a Dumbo

Alesandese:
Actually you can't know anyone completely because you don't even know all about you. That said, is marriage all about living with someone? It's more like sharing your live with someone for an unknown period of time. Stop making it seem like marriage is all about cohabiting

ObinzeRoyEmeka:
If you ain't a dead-brain slut. You should know this is a public forum and he can use d word "Fucck" the way he wants. But what do you know than suck and Bleep an epileptic patience for a token of 200naira. Well, I can't blame you, you inherited you _wholedom from that useless hoe you call mother.


May tens of vulture feed on your inglorious corpse while you find your way to hell. Cheap spank like you!

dayvie:


That said, you live with someone; cohabitate... Before you can share your life with them for an unknown period of time. Marriage isn't all about cohabitating, but, I'll say cohabitating effectively is a requisite for a good marriage.

ObinzeRoyEmeka:
[s]May the whole of your generation suffer severe leprosy. Your mortuary attentand father throw your junior sister inside a soak-away after he got drunk on cheap burukutu. No wonder you are born dead-brain. Your bridge sweeper mother inherited being a slut from her mother and you inherited _whoredom From her too so I'm not suprise at you giving blow_job to street beggers for just a box of snuff.


If you have a brain thats functioning you should know Fuckshit Has d right to post whatever he feels like. But you lack common sense. Hence all you ever know is to steal from your customers after they take you home for day break sexual romp. No wonder your kleptomaniac father was burnt alive at Jakanra market when trying to pick the some of #175 from an unsuspecting individual.


May the causes of your lineage befall you [/s]

Alesandese:
Now I know you are pained . Ranting like a broken record...typing shiit outta his trash filled brain. Go ask your mother why you were born a wimp! You son of a cursed generation


Your imagination baffles me tho... Is that your life history up there . Sorry I am not the reason you were born into such miserable family! featherbrain monkey

Alesandese:
To each his opinion. I don't believe in cohabiting....its like seeing all you need to see before marriage. The enthusiasm won't be there no more, nothing will be new, moreover what's the point of rushing into something you will be stuck in till God knows when? .

Alesandese:
To each his opinion. I don't believe in cohabiting....its like seeing all you need to see before marriage. The enthusiasm won't be there no more, nothing will be new, moreover what's the point of rushing into something you will be stuck in till God knows when? .

Alesandese:
Actually you can't know anyone completely because you don't even know all about you.

Toks2008:


And that is exactly my point...What exactly does rushing mean?

Some people take all the time In the world yet still find themselves in a crazy marriage so my point is that there are some vital steps that are expedient in order to minimize mistakes.

Furthermore I guess this rush word is endemic to the unmarried people in their ripe ages.

I repeat,I don't believe any one who means business should court for even a year because due diligence holds true to assure 70% of the possibility of marital bliss while tolerance takes care of the rest.

If you like date forever. ...some things may never be known to you until you start living together as married couple.

mctowel01:
Toks2008 Are you married?

Alesandese:
You are right. But partners shouldn't rush either. I believe it's better to be late than being late. Individuals should do what is best for them

QueenSuccubus:


REIIGN have u already found the easy road to matrimony?

Toks2008:


I have lost friends who tend to be myopic as regards my articles. ..they juxtapose my realistic threads to who I am and I'm sorry I can't help them on that.

I'm a realist and I dont write things to favor the way they ought to be rather I write stuffs the way they are.

I hate divorce but what if I marry today and the lady decides to divorce me against all odds would you blame me for that? does it not take two to tango?

People have blamed Chris oyakhilome for his wife's decision to divorce him and I keep wondering how people see things.

If you like preach about marital chastity but that does not change the fact that people leave their marriage daily and if a lady is too careful about getting married because she hates divorce then she should rather remain single for life cos shits happen in marriage even if you the lady is an angel.

My point is simple

Take the risk and dare the consequence rather than being careful forever which is never a guaranty of good marriage.