₦airaland Forum

In sequel to two earlier threads of mine
www.nairaland.com/3268719/3-biblical-facts-almost-
everyone#48206598

www.nairaland.com/3270169/3-biblical-facts-almost-everyone

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ADAM & EVE ATE NO 'APPLE'

Contrary to popular belief, Adam and Eve 'specifically' did not eat an 'Apple' in the book of Genesis. The fruit is not actually named at all – it is referred to only as the fruit of “the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil”. The reason this misconception has come about is most likely due to the fact that in Middle English, the word “apple” was used to refer to all fruit and nuts (except berries). Over the centuries, this word(for understandable reasons) has stuck in reference to the Genesis fruit. [Genesis 2:17]

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NOAH's ARK

We all know that ALL the “animals went in two by two”(male and female)… right?

WRONG!

In fact, all clean animals went in in groups of seven,
and unclean animals in groups of two. According to Jewish
dietary law, there are far more clean animals than unclean,
so the majority of creatures entering the ark went in as a
group of 7. [Genesis 7:2-3]

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NO CHARIOT OF FIRE TOOK ELIJAH TO HEAVEN

Lolz..I can imagine one supposed bible scholar about to disagree asap...sure! Elijah was carried up into heaven, but not by a Chariot of Fire but by a "Whirlwind". The chariot of fire which we seem to have always presumed took Elijah up into heaven, only separated them before the whirlwind did its Job. [II Kings 2:11]

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P.S: Opposing views are welcomed. Atleast open your bible
and read thoroughly(and understand in context) before
coming forward with a debate we can learn from.

DRISKLEF:
[color=#0799AD]So much hilarity in one post.


Nice one. [/color]

Lolz..thanks mahn

We, Nigerians, av a funny way of answering questions, that sends a message only a typical Nigerian can decode. We have funny ways of avoidin direct questions. Atimes, these could also be polite ways to address an invasive question as well.
These replies ranges from embarrassing, hilarious to clueless and sometimes insulting ones. You're likely to misinterprete them unless u're the typical Nigerian. Lolz
Let's examine 10 common ones.

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1. Q: where u dey go?
A: I dey commot[gosh, is dat wat I asked?]
Note: this means "I'm not ready to tell"

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2. Q: you Get food for house?
A: yes, na small remain.[I don't recall askin its quantity]
Note: this means "I'm not ready to share"

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3. Q: where u dey come from?
A: I juz commot go somehwere jaree['somewhere' is nowhere joor]
Note: this means "it's not necessary for u to know"

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4. Q: u go chop?
A: e go reach us?
Note: it means "guy, I'm more hungry than u fink oo; u had berra be sure ur invitation is genuine"....Lmao

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4. Q: you get credit for fone?
A: Na flashing remain[smh...a question that requires a simple yes/no ansa]
Note: this means "I'm not reali ready to spare this airtime of mine for whatever reason u might need it for"

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5. (phone call)Q: u dey house?
A: yes, I dey sleep[lolz..so na inside dream u pick dis call?]
Note: this means "plz, am not in the mood to entertain guests now"

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6. (gettin acquainted with a lady)Q: can I av ur number?
A: my fone is off[lolz..I wonder how ur fone bein on/off relates to the questn]
Note: this means "nah! I don't think so"

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7. Q: aw much dey ur hand?
A: e no much jaree, na small small change
Note: this means "bro, don't even fink of askin me to give/lend u money"

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8. [asking ur bae/boo]Q: who called just now?
A: it's one guy/gurl like that.
Note: this means "bae/boo! What u don't knw, don't hurt u!, I don't fink its necessary"

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9. (on Nairaland)Q: I've sent u a PM
A: ok, but I hardly check my mails[if na airtime I send u for PM, story go change..lol]
Note: this means "I'm not interested in whatever it is, there's a high likelihood that I won't check]

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10. Q: chebi u talk say u no go do am OR commot?
A: Don't mind me jaree
Note: this means: "okay! I changed my mind, but, Hey! I don't owe you an explanation"

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I'm sure we can all relate to this..lolz
Add yours!
Cc: Lalasticlala

This is not news mahn *yawns* Did u expect him to say anytin contrary to dis?

LuvU2:
K

Tah..next time u say "thank U"

LuvU2:
*musing-* For real i cant stand a pot-bellied man for long
I cant stand a scruffy looking man for long
I cant stand a smelly man
I cant stand a man who is wealthy but looks messy.

Why would a man be wealthy and erm unappealing to look at? If anything, he should look the best.

He can afford to gym. He has time too. He is in the best position to always eat healthy and stay fit.

Why would he want to look like my dad after 2,3 years of marriage?

If ive planned to look good even after having kids. Why not him?
Yes i plan looking good like my mum.

I remember my dad started to grow belly fat in his early 40s and my mum wasnt pleased. She didnt voice it bt my dad sensed her displeasure and hit the gym asap, continuously, until he trimmed completely. Till today, he still visits...

Well, if my hubby would be insensitive, I will try to caution him, if nothing works, its not i may cheat, i would cheat on him.

*How a man looks matters a lot*

I must commend u on the ability to stir up a controversy against urself...it takes a smart mind to concoct such successfully.
That's the beauty in media stunts and publicity. Kudos mehn

prettythicksme:
hahahahahahahahaha na so i dey sleep oo

Haha..dis is getting serious and scary for me oo..
Azzin..u mean am?

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]Igbo kwenu.

You're worried she swallowed your sperm. But you aren't worried depositing your sperm into her, vaginally.

Evidence of peppersoup education.[/color]

hmmn...u must be obsessed with peppersoup

prettythicksme:
So abi witch abi?

haba...why u wan put me for trouble like. Dis..?
No be u tok am for my thread say ur na so u dey sleep?..
I con say mk I confirm from u..say aw va joor

firstking01:
Surething.

oh! Lawd! Sombori is bou to spoil ma fast!

firstking01:
Hahahaha, you no well i swear...and for the records i can suck and lick swollen ni_pples very well…where's that skarlet...

Hmmn..nd u end up swallowing d swollen nipz baa?

mhisbliss:
as seenon Facebook o, don't accuse me yet

Kuku..tok say u no sabi rick ross joor..or u no even view the pix at all...ur own na to juz to upload.

firstking01:
Dunno why i kept swallowing the seed each time i lick it

Hmmn...I fink dey must be dat sweet to u...or u probably suck too hard on em' cherries...
Erm..except u develop perverted tots weneva u eat em' cherries...lolz

yourboyWill:
Ngwannu no vex

Oya..buy me cold beer b4 I change my mind..#Heineken

yourboyWill:
You and firstking01 ....mqke una free me. I give up

Guy..which levels na..I dey here dey front for u.. U stil dey tackle me....shuoo..

firstking01:
Seems you no dey play ball, me i dan trade tackles well well...in the field of play, as long as the refree ain't seeing anything the match continues, if you chose to walk out of the pitch of play, you'd either be banned from playing football or they 'll give you walk over...they were helpless cos the ref was not seeing what they were seeing, their complains fell on deaf ears by the ref and the match had to continue till we got that penalty that was controversially converted by the late hero samuel okwaraji....

Guy..pity yourboyWill na..u juz dey work the guy brain...smh

RichieDaVinci01:
If your head carry cobwebs na bad dreams be that o

Lolz..dat one sef dey

Laveda:
You said all already

nah mehn.. Aw bou this ones: If u leave cobwebs hangin in ur room, you'll have slow or no progress in life. If wake up on the left side of the bed, you'll ava bad day

skarlett:
Cherry

Yoruba people call it agbalumo

Oho..dat...I fink if someone swallows the seed..u deliver it later in the WHITE HOUSE..
Neva knew thr was some superstitious angle to it..

ChappyChase:
Hahahahahahah......... Even if na obama and all him aid dey there, I go still spit!

Haha..so u like urself like dis.. Chai..lolz..what shall it profit a man if _______...haha

yourboyWill:
Lol the writeup in the link proves it was a lie

Yup..juz read it..lolz

ChappyChase:
Before I use to hear people say "it weakens witches who want to use my Urine for ritual"
But now even when I piss for inside toilet I go still spit on top!

Buhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*staggers*
Somebori help! My stomach hurts!..lolz
So wah if u pee in a convenience whr lots of ppl are in, at The same time wit u? Like the ones in a shoppin mall or cinema
U stil spit on it in their presence?

firstking01:
That small round thing that looks redish on the inside of it, it also has a seed inside that looks spherical...dunno the botanical name tho

Ok..wah abt its household name..any clues?

yourboyWill:
http://www.voiceofnaija.com.ng/recall-the-nigeria-vs-india-match-that-they-beat-us-99-1-heres-everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-story/

Knock yourself out

Lolz..see Dis bros..na me u wan decieve?
I broke off that bondage tey tey mehn...I even wrote an article on it on facebook 3yrs back.

ChappyChase:
I still spit on my urine and I just don't know why!

Spit on ur urine?
Kindly share the superstitious belief that revolves Around this.

yourboyWill:
people dey lie sha. India 99-1 Nigeria

I licked that lie like cowbell milk sha..
I don wise now tho

firstking01:
.....That when you mistakenly swallow udara seed, the thing will grow on your head....this one terrified and gave me sleepless nights:-…there was a day i swallowed udara seed, every second i must touch my head weather it has started growing, i did that for weeks tho.

Haha..lolz..
Biko..wats udara seed?
Dat. Seems an igbo term to me

skarlett:
You've said everything and taken the fun out of the thread

That one no say mk u no tell us which one got u and stil gets u...
Oya confess!
Cc: Laveda, Mizzbouqui

Fabulocity:
Hehehehe I go collect na But im no go still dey sexy for my eye

For ur Red Mind

Superstition is the belief in supernatural causality that one
event causes another without any natural process linking the
two events.

Superstitious beliefs are always part of the culture of every
society. Some superstitious beliefs were actually used to instigate morals and etiquettes in children. Nevertheless, superstitions help to
preserve the cultures of a society from one generation to
another.

These list highlights some of the superstitious beliefs in
Nigeria:

1. If you put your eyelashes in your parents shoes, they will
forget the offence you committed.

2. Don’t drink coconut water, else you become a dullard.(I'm still somehow believing this)

3. Don’t whistle at night, you will be inviting snakes.(Nothing dey apun joor)

4. When the sun is shinning in the middle of a storm/rain, it
means a lion is giving birth.

5. Don’t let people jump over you, lest you become short.

6. Don’t eat food that has fallen on the floor, Satan has eaten it already.(lolz..Na. Today?)

7. If your tooth pulls out, throw it on a rooftop, a lizard will
take it and give you another one.(Tried it 1ce tho)

8. Kill and cut off a Lizard’s head and bury it; after three
days, dig it up you will see many coins (money). #kayefi

9. If you kill a duck and bury it, it will transform into a snake
in seven days.


10.If you wash a dog’s face and use the same water to wash
your face, you will see ghosts.

11. Don’t sweep your house at night, you will be sweeping
away all your riches.

12. Once your eyes starts to twitch, someone is talking about
you.

13. If someone bites you, rub chicken poop on the area, the
next day the person’s teeth will become rotten.

14. If your teacher annoys you, soak garri for 3 days. As the
garri swells, your teacher’s hand would swell.( U go juz use overfeeding kill urself)

15. In a football match, bury the egg of a lizard at your goal
post, your opponent will never score.

16. If your palms are itching you frequently, money is
coming your way soon.(I hear it works for some people)

17. A pregnant woman should not visit the zoo, else her
child would look like an animal.

18. Don’t eat a fowl anus, else you will start gossiping about.

19. Don’t stand in front of a mirror at night, else you will see
evil spirits (demons).(Curiosity had made me try dis 1ce, Guess wah? Nutin apund)

20. If you want to faint after your teacher flogs you, put
beans under your armpit and you will faint.

21. If you're obsessed with the head of a fish. You'll be a dull student.

22. Don't ever fetch water from the well at nite, ____________. (Mtcheew, I stil do am this week)

23.Don't ever beat a male child with a broom, it'll affect his potency as a man. (I used to bliv this)

24. Don't sleep with ur legs touching the wall, you must be in a meeting with witches. (Haha..prettythicksme over to u)

25. Don't sit on a pestle, you're risking ur mom's life.

26. Don't sleep in reverse positions/orientation with someone else on the bed/mat. (Smh).

27.
If bird poop lands on ur head, money is coming ur way. (I swear! This apund to me once)

28. When u cut ur fingernails, make sure it's disposed thoroughly or ur destiny is at stake. (This one stil gets me somehow).

29. If someone crosses over ur leg(s) whilst pregnant, the unborn child will look like that person. (*yawns*)

30. Don't let anyone else step on ur saliva, you'll av throat problems.

31. Don't eat food in the pot, it'll rain heavily on ur wedding day. (I wonder who blivs this sef)

32. Don't eat food whilst in cooking mode, ur ass will really be dark-complexioned as u grow.

33. Eat beans regularly, you'll be as tall as you'd desired. (I totally blivd dis)

34. You must cover ur hair, as a lady, in the marketplace.(Ondo ppl I hail)

35. Do not sweep the top of the table with a broom else you
become hungry always/glutton.

36. Do not eat on the road else you wont get satisfied with
the food. (Lolz..What if i buy 5loaves of butterfield bread?)

37. The more you intently gaze at a cherry (agbalumo), The
sweeter it becomes! (Oya!..make yoruba babes deny this one): A song goes this way with it:
Agbalumo di omi sugar, omo oba lo fe mu!! Agbalumo dun dun!!
(Cherry, turn sweet as sugar, it's a prince/princess that wanna eat U!! Cherry turn sweet!)..haha..hilarious


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Hmmn..SO WHICH ONES DID U FALL FOR??
and probably STILL FALLING FOR?

# NO LIES

Fabulocity:
What the freak

This is appalling

Dey thr dey decieve yasef with grammar, when He dash u RangerRover sport as highlight now. E go turn sexy for ya eye.

Cbeatz:
splat position......get back from work after working heavly...u don't say anything u just go to ur room still in your suit and drop like a fish on ur bed

As in log?