₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Okija_juju]O nwannem nwayi ka obu. Mua bu Ichie Okija. . Resident Eze mmuo of Nairaland. CEO Okija & Apprentices Group of Companies. . Improter, Expoter, Manufacturer and general enterprises. . E'wem shop n'abu na Onitsha, ofu na Alaba, e'buo na Ariaria. A nom na ofe, na su pkutupkutu.[/quote]

Ichie!!!

Nwanne idi over qualified indeed!

Ngwanu Sweetcocoa over to you.

Resident Eze mmuo indeed!

Not hot and cheap sh.it

Yaribas doing OWAMBE on nairaland.

By the way, Dayokanu is a blawdy razcist. If una nominate am, we go carry placard.

Musiwa, hehe.. she dey do pashia for front page, but i reserve my comment.

My babe na Yoruba girl, so i am entitled to vote.

I nominate: Eko ile and Eko ile.

Leyelyzo: Why are guyz so fuss about tadpole? Can't you reason beyond your nose? Well i no blame you sha, na lack of experience.
@27naira u be badt boy, see what your satirical and sarcastic tadpole has caused the tiro

lol. They wan make i explain

fesse: @27naira i give to you jor.

But some of those your points varies. Like i personally don't used to dry lips.
Another point is dressing sense will automatically change.

Currect babe.

That is true as well.

High sense of self-consciousness comes into play.

Beside her (your) bag becomes automatically heavier. Thanks to "Always"

Why is everyone so interested in this "tadpole" thing?

Boys ask your girlfriends, believe me if she doesnt tell you, then she must be hiding something.

Otherwise, tune in to Discovery channel for more update. lol

But seriously every egg hatches into something isn't it? lol

donedy: Please dear never argue with foolish people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

And who is the "foolish" people here?

I forgive your ignorance and poor cognizance of humor. unimaginative bas.tard

slimyem: Na lie jor!
Some women (including moi) have so adapted lots of things that work to keep them comfortable and lively during menses and no soul can ever know except they tell!
Make dm go find another research do!

No dey lie here joor

You never adapt anything, you still dey whine. hehe

Beync: why dry lip? I agree with other signs.

Yes it does happen. I KNOW

Did your egg hatch tadpole? **kidding**

I dont need to listen to her voice.

Signs to look out for when your woman is menstruating (emphasis on YOUR WOMAN not another woman) :

1. Too many pimples on her pumpkin face
2. Dry lips
3. Too much frowning, complaining and outbursts
4. She cries and complain of abdominal cramp
5. changes in her nyash curvature (i dont know why)
6. full breast with succulent hard n.iples hehe
7. Too much body scent. (disgusting)
8. She will NEVER be in the mood
9. On rare occasions, you might find a tadpole on your bed, dont be alarmed, her egg just hatched

Thank me later

Mine happened a day after i came visiting Nigeria. I was residing in my bros place in Surulere, it was a monday morning so i decided to go and get an internet modem for myself.
I got the modem around 9am but when i got home, i learnt that i need to register the sim card so i went back to airtel's office. After i got the sim registered, i saw i rickety bus parked by the side, as i was trying to cross to the other side of the road, somebody called out to me that someone is calling me. I turned and saw some hefty black ugly looking fellows who flashed some IDs claiming to be policemen, so i stopped. They asked me to identify myself, i was perplexed. So i gave them all my ID cards both foreign and local. After flipping through, they asked for my handsets and asked me to follow them to the bus, i walked a few steps with them but i stopped right at the door of the bus. they scrolled through my phones, checked my text msgs, my sent items by contacts etc. The corporal that collected my blackberry seem to have difficulty operating it besides it was roamed. They got tired then one of them opened up: "do you know why we stopped you?" i answered "No" but in my mind i said "your father!" so he answered "we are investigating yahoo yahoo boys". He gave me back my ID's. As i was about to leave, he said "bless us" I simply shaked him and went my way. After that day, i stayed indoors till i left Naija.

Shoot the brother and get married to the sister

**just kidding**

@OP.,

Believe me, no family is 100% perfect. if your woman is "who" you want, go for it. There are so many ways you can keep her brother away from your family.

After 32 years, somebody brought this to the front page

There is hope for Nigeria

PrettyCindy: @ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

Oya now, get ready.

I feel you need more of humility now than before.

Nashville? of all places?

Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

llbhuds: its better u die in naija cos without a good job and money to spend there, u are still gonna die anyway

Intelligent response.

@OP,

what made you think you stand a better chance if you move to Ukraine?
The title of your post (Ukraine or i die) shows how pathetic you are.

You might as well die in Nigeria and save our embassy the cost of repatriating your carcass (no offence meant)

[quote author=Romeo.]So what's the way forward. . .Sir?[/quote]Smart dude.

@Op,
How about the dude, ladies should not date?

This is reality staring at your face,get used to it. The problem with relationships is that too many broke a.r.SE saints are out there vilifying everything.
In as much as we need to be careful when it comes to marriage, in dating, the villain can be either party.

my groom price

victorazy: Ridiculous, what am my doing in here

How about the days of "Super ted"; "Mickey mouse", "speed racer" and my one and only scary movie "willie - willie"

Emm emm, can you remember the test of "chi chi sweet", "Nasco busicuit" and "amala candies"


oh, memories of a sweet Nigeria! now my home country is being run by rascals, fishermen and almajiris.

[quote author=~Bluetooth]Did they graduate from university of toronto ?[/quote]

they graduated from Washington University of Police academy, department of anti-terror bombardment and bomb detonation.

definitely not Nigeria.

Lmao!

They should have used "bokoharam crisis" A pakistani cab driver asked me : "my friend, were do you come from"? I answered "Nigeria" then he said "Nigeria? too much trouble my friend. Nigeria and Pakistan, same same!" i just cant stop laughing.

actually what you have is the edited version of the story, it was rather worrying that YahooNews chose to recant their former version of the story.

The dude was actually found walking around the streets and masturba.ting. it was rather disturbing. Here is the real news.

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/16/10721745-wife-blames-exhaustion-for-irrational-behavior-by-kony-2012-filmmaker

Na em way.

umbralla should release the "vocal" version of the condolence message

rhymz:
I am presently in Sokoto NYSC camp, the day this raid happened, the soldiers in our camp did something unsual. They cancelled the evening parade and asked us all not to visit the mammy market but go straight to sleep. Corpers being who they are and oblivious of the goings-on did not heed to the directive; thet visited mammy anyway. As a result, the soldiers asked everyone to report to the parade ground to listen to the camp director's address. There was a wide-spread rumours that there was a shoot-out between soldiers and BK boys somewhere in sokoto; mehn, a cold chill went down my spine. My reaction was this; "why now that I am in Sokoto". The camp director prolly wanted to say sth with regard to the the raid but decided not to do so seeing that our reactions will destabilize the orientation programme there so he just chose to blab about stuff he had in several times cautioned about. But even then, those of us in the know, knew there was more to it than meet the eyes. Later on, I made some news research and discovered the real issue. The botched raid and the precedent capture of some of the sect members had made them issue threats to attack Sokoto and in particular, they made a threat to assasinate the Sultan of Sokoto if their members captured were not released. So far, there is peace in the camp, however, it is obvious that after the 3weeks orientation programm more than half of the corpers will redeploy, Me inclusive. And seriously, the security in this camp is poor, God forbid that Boko boys will remember this camp.
Seriously, this is not my Idea of an average camp. This camp is bullshit, no where to bathe or go to toilet. . Everything is on the open field. The only reason I am just enduring it, is because of the very visible Yoruba and Igbo corp members here. The yorubas especially make up to 50% of the total corp members here in sokoto camp and unsurprisingly all of them have filed for redeployment already. God help us.

God will protect you.

No originality.
"Mgbeke" dressing
"shitty" and meaningless rhymes


smh.

EPIC FAIL

Its very unfortunate but lets be honest with ourselves, several times i have travelled through Muritala Mohammed, i have been approached by people selling yellow fever vaccine cards, it shocked me because the airport authorities are aware of this.

Don't blame SA, blame our the decay in our health system.

It's sad though.

naijasexy:
^^^OMG,  This is serious oo.


Wow.

What is serious? 

iykay4455:
There are some really weird people on this forum

Honestly!  

**deleted

Ashy elbows!

Nigerians don't rub cream