₦airaland Forum

It’s call dark humor

Google it

nitoriolohun:
You claim to be a comedian abi?

So what is funny in that skit? Comedy is meant to make one laugh n not another scenerio for prayer points...

What do I know sef? Any strongthing waiting to humiliate us at the verge of breakthrough die by fire die by fire die by fire !!!!

NB : For me n my household we believe it is real!!!

BusinessCity:
Smiles


I've been staying there for 2 decades now

You only answered one half of my question, Kindly respond to the other part "If yes ignore the report and tell me in terms of road maintenance has the LCC lagged?".

Regards

BusinessCity:
He said. Rather the emperor said. Publish the books openly or let an external world acclaimed body have access to the records which everyone has been asking about for donkey years. Upon through accounting audit, you can then go on to state the duration for payment to get completed and not increasing the toll rates and extending the tenure the toll stays in place that was been pushed to the front burner before all of these starting popping up...
If you can't do this, 50 Billion is what Lagos can repay if it dedicates 1 Billion per month within a 3 years tenure


But of course not, you know the toll generates billions monthly and it's milling out cash for its emperors amidst dodgy reasons you would not disclose.


INEC stated that APC spent over 100 billion on 2011 elections alone.. Osun states political funding where Aregbe mismanaged state resources... Aha... This and more the reasons book won't be open and external professional audit performed s it ought to



. You think it's still the 1940s that once you speak subjects take your thrash hook, line and sinker. Declare the tenure the toll gate would remain in place and place a placard publicly when it will cease to exist


Awon Ole

Do you stay around the Lekki area? If yes ignore the report and tell me in terms of road maintenance has the LCC lagged?

That’s my only Q to you for now.

Regards

Hmm I think oyetola in his 2nd term? Omisore is plotting for the next election

seunmsg:
He won the last Osun state governorship election for APC.

I’m looking at some comments and wondering if those making such comments actually have cars lol

Personally I’d never patronize all these road side panel beaters that’ll charge 5k and do a job so shoddy you even have more problems I.e na screw em fit go dey use hold bonnet lol

Even the way that car bonnet pressed the OP never inspect the engine area to be sure all is well.

awapp:
Make a budget of 100k to fix the car BTW who send you message to repark car wey u no sabi drive

nedu666:
Who wants to bet this is the last time you will hear anything about this event.

Tinubu, akande, oby, utomi, osho, fash, david west, etc the beans you have been cooking has done

hey dummy unless you decide to PERSONALLY follow up on this story and eventual police case how that fucckk do you expect to hear anything about this event again?

Dummies everywhere.

@tmsmedia this heading is very wrong . Farm worker(s) connive to kill their boss is an apt topic

Their tribe doesn’t matter as this is not a unique crime. Receive sense

Azzin bro that match be like Wetin dem fix lol

Totally toothless display from Everton ... you’d think they were the side fighting relegation

Tookool:
Good one Maja ....Everton were a total flop last night

NwaAmaikpe:





Ermmm....
I'm not so clever but there's a lapse.

I've seen someone who enrolled for the National ID card more than once and got two different NINs, but I've never seen a soul with two BVNs.

So if you ask me, I'd say a BVN is more secure than a NIN and if we intend commencing electronic voting in 2023 then BVN it should be.

Because even babies have NINs...but you can't get a BVN till you come of banking age.(eligible to vote).

If not, the electronic voting fraud of 2023 will be stupendously massive.
I'm sure Patanmi knows this.

I still .don't see why the overnight fuss over the NIN.

That’s highly improbable...

Anyone who’s gone to register knows if you r enrolled before it’d pop up

Even the useless PDP pampered Militants? Is that not the whole genesis of mass criminal behaviour?

If you do it big enough and for long enough government will “settle you”

APC /PDP same crappy leadership.

Sweetamara2:
A country where people in power are always right and the led are always wrong.

You mind those idiots? Lol


Even the tone of their reports now are like “we are seeing reductions this reductions that”

sammyscholar:
Who knows the situation of coronavirus in the USA now?

CNN is no longer beating the drum of casualties of the pandemic loud as they did under Trump.

Nigerians is too general a term ... SOME NIGERIANS is the correct term to use.

Regards

Nemere2020:
https://www.nairaland.com/6413275/police-arrest-10-occupylekki-protesters



https://gazettengr.com/lawyers-move-to-free-13-lekki-protesters-from-lagos-police/?utm_source=ReviveOldPost&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=ReviveOldPost

kktbm:
Suspected hoodlums clash with officials of Lagos state task force who arrived Ajah to enforce environmental laws on street trading and Okada ban


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqWMIk8tZ80



https://mobile.twitter.com/search?q=Ajah%20area%20of%20Lagos&src=typed_query&f=live

Dummies like you will not understand that this is what they’re trying to avoid

Another endears protest will unleash these idiots again

Oh shut up!

Which country enjoys good surplus?

Open your mind and think well before posting

ogelekpomgam:
It's really a pity.A country with a failed economy.If food was common and accessible..this kind of thing wouldn't have happened.Evil politicians.It shall never be well with them.

IgboWarlord:
My God!!!!!...How did it get this bad?...At least my darling Enyimba Fc still dey on small faaji..

Orji and Felix anyassi did a good job.

I aint igbo neither have i ever been to igboland.

but if am ever to cross river Niger i must visit enyimba stadium.

JubrinElSudan:
Shame!!! Na marker Dem use write that one number and name for back of Jersey? Who Bewitched us?

Its actually not a shame to the club BUT a shame to the league and Nigeria.

like is it by force we have 20 teams in our premier league?? even 14 is Ok .

Set high standards and even if na 10 dey league start like that.

Quality is better than quantity.

How will dangote invest when his "billionaire" team with authentic jerseys et al are going to play a team with "marker number" on their jerseys lol

oluwasegun007:
The only public officer close to his record was Fashola before he was injected with baba lai trojan L in Abuja.


Rest well sir.

You underestimate what Tinubu achieved as Governor sha

Lol obviously tampered with na .

revived:
The mileage still choke me though

Fahdiga:
In a saner clime this endsars protesters will be celebrated as heroes which they are. but under this present Junta they are being hunted by the state while Boko Haram terrorists are celebrated with exotic aso ebi sowed for them and are spoiled with sumptuous meals and drinks with amnesty given to them. under the lifeless Buhari, abnormalities are now the new normal. what a shame

Moseveni was once hailed as a hero, same with Biya, Same with Bongo, same with Mugabe et al.

You obviously DO NOT understand the true meaning of hero(es),

Regards

Funny how we are yet to CONFIRM one death

All the alleged victims have been proven false
Funny people

Shelumiel:
You want to protect Lagos but you do not want to get justice for those killed in the last ENDSARS protest abi? It seems this people sponsoring this move(PROTECT LAGOS) have been paid to silence the many voices crying out for a better standard of life for all

Bornsinner7:
Wonderful...

She was involved in an accident but a man was hospitalised on her behalf...

The future is female

“ I started screaming and suddenly , my car diverted and then hit the bridge pole like 3 times,” she wrote.”

Brake failed but she hit bridge pole THREE times

I no fit laugh bros �. Fear women

Esseite:
Read up... ignorance is not an excuse... autocorrect could not even help your "illitertates"... oil glut mean excess surplus that has mandated the OPEC to make policies on supply rations..

Have a great day.

Oga you are an Illiterate plaina and simple.

so you are so dull that you're even bringing in OPEC Daily production quota into play.

Laughable , just laughable. in trying to prove you're not dull you're only sinking deeper into it.

Save yourself the embarrassment and don't read, do research. lol.

as the wrong spelling, only a dumbass will be proof reading a response to an illiterate lol i just write and click send, why? because your initial post already betrayed your illiteracy. Oil glut ! lol

Esseite:
You lack sense... you are below illiterate.. do you even know what oil glut is? Or what you drilling below 50% capacity is? yet you are looking at importing. same Govt that is talking about exploration in arid North is talking about importation of crude yet without refining capacity for the whole nation.

You are truly below illiterate.. there is a reason they employ your kind, you dont have the IQ for questions.

Lmaooo see mumu.

Do you even understand the term "Oil glut" mumu is evening mentioning drilling below capacity lol

Gosh what a waste! sadly illitertates like you many shaaaa

Sanchez01:
With the level of confusion and chaos all over the world at this time, same-sex attraction is the problem of Biden and the United States. Worse is the fact that Nigeria has been reduced to nothing but a nation dependent on others. How are we going to beg for vaccines and ventilators on social media should the US government sanction us?

On a more serious note, the sanction will force Nigeria to review its gay laws and change them almost immediately. We are not in any way equipped to manage the effect of sanctions from developed nations.

You're thinking like an educated man.

but you forget the US is also dependent on a lot of countries too.

No evidence they are kidnappers.

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

Both questions you asked are very stupid ones. except of course they are rhetorical.

Regards.

Esseite:
Its happening before your very eyes... despite being the largest deposit of crude oil in Africa, despite complaining of oil glut, despite complaining of lack of buyers, we are still pushing to import crude oil. Yet you still dont see it.

Oh shut up you illiterate!

The US despite being the largest producer of Oil imports Crude and refined Oil from Canada.

Sometimes i wonder how ignorant Nigerians and most nairalanders are sha.

They should not reopen it until they finish their rehabilitation work on the alternate route


Lol

eagleonearth:
Who else is enjoying free movement and lack of hold up on the ozumba mbadiwe thru oniru and ikoyi toll gate

MrValthegreat:
So this bandits are not hiding, northerners know their locations but they are untouchable. This is a sign that Nigeria's problems are just starting, more of these groups will spring up soon once the existing ones are being pampered.

Don't let this opportunity pass you by like Bitcoin did, start mining now before it is fully launched to become a VIP and earn big.

Download at https://bee.games/download.html use 'valthegreat' as your referral link.

Were the Militants hiding?

Oga knowing location is different from entering and clearing the area.

Also i laugh at the south most times... Especially those beating the drums of war.

How did we even get here.

No wehere is safe anymore

India and Naija are they the same?

Review below line culled from
https://m.timesofindia.com/india/how-india-plans-to-execute-its-mega-covid-19-vaccination-drive/articleshow/80290406.cms

“Two Covid-19 vaccines
The Drugs Controller General of India (DCGI) had earlier this month approved Covishield, the Covid-19 vaccine developed by Oxford University and AstraZeneca, and made by the Serum Institute of India. It also granted restricted emergency use authorisation to Covaxin, indigenously developed by Bharat Biotech”

You can read up and understand why it’s cheaper in India .

Regards

slowice:
Oga he didn't compare anybody to anybody.... Don't you know what comparison is? He made a statement making reference to what happening in India and how Nigeria can benefit from it.... Where is the comparison?

Don’t you find it funny he’s comparing Nigeria to India?

Put on your critical thinking cap .

You should compare us to ghana... what is GH’s Dollar per person budget for the vaccine?

Regards

slowice:
This isn't funny.... We re paying triple the price for almost everything we get in Nigeria

Good now let the community/Local Govtcome together and add guard railings to it for safety.

1. I can run a light that’s just gone red (within 2 seconds)

That’s why there’s a yellow box

2. It’s mostly danfo drivers who run red lights in Lagos

3. If we had a good traffic management system people would be patient BUT when light is showing RED while on the side showing GREEN no car whatsoever has passed in a minute you begin to wonder? There should be cameras and a traffic management team somewhere observing and adjusting the lights themselves.

VaselineCrew:
Yesterday in Lekki, I saw upwards of 10 cars running a certain RED light at around Jakande area while I was waiting my light to turn GREEN.

What made this especially painful is that there was a squad of police right besides the traffic light. What were they doing? They were just sitting down and gisting on their pickup.

Can you imagine? In what other country will people run red lights right in front of police and the police will just be laughing with Ak47s in their hands? and it wasn't just one car, but multiple cars totally disregarding their RED lights.

Are we so primitive that we are now totally averse to Law and Order in this land? That the police won't even make an attempt to maintain traffic rules unless at their own convenience? Unless traffic is at a standstill via checkpoints? is that they only time police would do traffic work?

Imagine how dangerous it is to be driving with confidence because the light in front of you has turned GREEN, not knowing that a MANIAC is about to smash into you because he ran his RED light and worse still police doesn't give a flying fvk

I would have taken a picture and posted here, it was such a disgusting sight as some of the cars that ran red lights drove right past the police squad.

How can we have such a useless police squad that can't even GIVE CHASE? What good is a police squad if all they do is park their car at a junction and gist inside?

What good is that?

Oh my Nigeria...


God helps us!