₦airaland Forum

shaybebaby:
Nah mate, his spirit is strong with you guys. He grabs them by the pvssy because he thinks he is man and the leader. Right in the same school of thought as you.

See, if he was like me, he'd do it in a strip club instead because there, for the right amount of money, you can. You know, do what you want, your way without infringing on anyone else's right. (you have their permission)

I like girls who don't mind going to stripclubs. They are cool babes.
But knowing how you feel about men, and the negative way you paint us all, I wouldn't see our jaiye going past BF/GF level!

shaybebaby:
In light of the first bolded statement of yours, shouldn't the last one read "man" instead of woman?

That first post was pointing out the sheer absurdity of trying to run a ship with 2 captains.
It doesn't work.

There are people who abuse this...that's unfortunate.
But it doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, there HAS to be someone who makes the call for that organization.

That's why CHOOSING a leader is important.
Does the leader act like Trump? Or does he mediate and appoint the call to most skilled/relevant person?
Is the leader abusive and emotional? Or is he a rock of stability and logic?
These things lie in the quality of the leader...and in the ability of the woman to CHOOSE the right leader (and be leadable herself).
At the end of the day, this leader must be seen as "The Lead".
A marriage will not last without this understanding.

Dating is one thing, marriage is another. Not understanding this is why a lot of marriages are doomed in this generation.
I have not deviated from what I've been telling you in this thread.

shaybebaby:
Now you are beginning to shift position to something more palatable.
And this what we mean by female emancipation.
But you are not quite there yet because your reference point is still a woman getting with a good guy as a goal.

When you remove getting a good man as a prize and focus on empowerment, then I can say my work is done.

I'm not sure what you mean by "shift position".
You essentially came in here seeing RED, ideologically labelling all men as either dogs or demons....not in words, but ideologically.
If there is any "shift" in position, it is simply you cooling the heck down and actually reading to comprehend instead of reading to fight.

I also have no desire to "get there" with you on anything besides stating the bleeding obvious, which is "DO NOT get into a relationship with a man you cannot show respect to". Also that a wise man considers counsel and uplifts the woman in his life, and also that a wise woman knows to detach her ego from having things done her way all the time.

#LearnHowToCede

Getting a good man IS a prize. Your inability to admit this further proves your net-negative emotionalism on the topic.
I have no issues admitting that getting a good woman is an even greater prize given what I've seen in this thread!

shaybebaby:
....Who says it should and why should we listen to anyone?...

Well, let's just say that in the longer term, she helped prove that my way is much better.

At last she reveals, in plain verse, what she's really thinking.
The spirit of Donald Trump is strong with this one....

shaybebaby:
Changing mouth small small eh?
Now it is about empowerment. Tell me, how do you fellas empower your women when you claim you have authority?

So she will not be taught to respect those who respect her, to respect her self, only that it is important to respect the man her life? Looooool.
I feel sorry for the poor Bubba already.

If you somehow saw something in my response to still fight me on, then I'm sorry, your brain is on emotional "fight mode" and there is nothing logical anyone can tell you at this point to see reason. Go cool your azz down

What is your definition of a wise man?
How can a female identify and appreciate one if she does not respect herself?
A female without self-respect are the ones who go after bad guys and abusers. They wouldn't know what to do if they saw a wise man.

This should have been inferred if you are thinking properly right now

shaybebaby:
No opposing,they are all leaders of the G8. They are allies but you can see that their capabilities aren't determined by their genders.

If you have a daughter and she is brilliant and very capable, I hope you will not instill her that a man has the final say in her life.

Firstly, I will instill in her the ability to choose a wise man who complements her and knows that leadership isn't about "knowing everything", but about empowering people to do what they are best at.

Next I will be sure my daughter knows the IMPORTANCE of showing the man in her life respect and how it affects literally everything she does with that man.

As for you, I hope you get to understand these 2 things before you get into anything sounding like marriage.

shaybebaby:
Now you talking of compromise which I admit has every place in a relationship.

You read my mood right, if I hear "do as I say because I am the man", you will hear a resounding "fvck off!" it drives me nuts. Most times what is said isn't the problem but how it is said.

So "do this because it will make me happy" will get an "okay then".

But then we are all different, appealing to my logic is the fastest to get me on board dancing to your tune. If it makes sense, I'm in and will run with it. It may be different for others.

But this brings us back to the initial question, it's all individual. Some men don't even want to lead, some women want to be led. I have had friends say they actively want to get married so they can give up work and take care of the home. That's what they want.

But I am also a woman like them and that to me is a living nightmare. Neither one is better than the other, I can no more tell they are wrong than they can my choice. The important thing is the freedom of choice. How you exercise it is a personal thing.

But these fellas here saying it should as they say it is, is trying to take away women's right to be able to choose.

Like I said, then you go on the hunt for and choose a man who aligns with your beliefs....and propose to him if you want to get the ball moving quickly because that kind of man likely isn't going to be the alpha/masculine type that targets and acquires

shaybebaby:
Depends on the man/woman, depends on the task at hand.
Take Merkel/May- Both women but as far their day jobs go, Merkel is more effective.

Take Merkel/ Trump- Merkel wins.

Take Trudeau / Trump- Trudeau wins.

Macron/ Trump- Macron wins

Macron/ May-macron Wins

Trump is a man but he is useless.
May is a woman but she is useless
Trudeau is a man but he is effective
Merkel is a woman and she is effective.

All doing the same job.

And this is how you see marriage?
2 leaders of opposing countries/parties with different interests to protect? Instead of leaders in the same country/party with the same interests/values/etc.

Your framing makes it clear that you see marriage as a perpetual battleground, hence your responses thus far.
Marriage No be fight na . Anyway I jest

shaybebaby:
But it's true. Why should I or indeed any woman have to cede?
I will concede any point of shown superior argument, but anything less than that? Pffft! It means you do not have one so no ceding.

Then you have failed to understand yet again what I am saying.
You are obviously just a naive person. There will be arguments that will be valid on both fronts.

In that situation, the person to call the shot should be your man out of respect. He could in turn pass it back to you and say it's your call. (unlike women, when men say it's your call we mean just that. not some trap to see "if she does what I wanted her to".)

See, I'm only telling you how to act to help you in the future.
You won't get anywhere in your marriage by fighting your man.

shaybebaby:
Not going off point, you brought in the VP, president, Co analogy and I'm showing you that even in those types of units, your idea of that hierarchical structure of boss, minion/s is becoming outmoded.

All these talk of kingdom and Queendom, nothing but talks of persons who have no real impact in the wider world hence seeking recognition and validation in the narrowest sense possible.

Don't you get it, you have no authority over another human being so all that chat about ceding is pure merdé.

Any man that demands ceding is a bully and pond scum.

Cool.
When/if you get married go and be doing things your hubby doesn't agree with.
That's your life, not mine

shaybebaby:
Respect is earned and it goes both ways.
Relationships- Partner work in tandem, it is not an advert for whom to lead the woman. More like a joining of forces.

Even in the workplace that you guys are fond of using as illustration, the modern organisation is leaning towards a flatter organisational structure with more decentralisation-why?

It is more efficient letting people play to their strengths and make make decisions without having to report to a figure of authority. People's output are measured against predetermined organisational objectives.

Anyways, are you lot even capable of leading amongst your fellow men?

I'd say the answer is No!

You're going off point again.
This is because you just want to argue.

I know my strengths and my weaknesses.
There are things I won't even have any input on because my woman would be better at it than me. She has free reign.
For some reason when someone says "leadership" or "submission" you lot just think "So I have to ask his permission to pee ni?"

That's your screwed up mind, not ours.
I am not a Donald Trump. Most men are not. I can submit to my wife's leading or opinion on a subject she is more skilled at or if she gives valid logic on a matter. No wise king just makes decisions without taking things into account. And no wise king prevents/blocks his queen from having her own "queendom".

But if there ever was a disagreement, the wife in the woman must cede. And handle things waaaaay differently than yelling/assaulting/beating chest at the man. No queen acts that way to her king unless she is TRASH!
Without showing him respect, you can get nothing from a man!

Submission will come natural to any woman when she meets the man for her.

shaybebaby:
Yeah but they aren't appointed because of the presence or absence of a swinging pendulum between their legs.

They are their because they have earnt the right to lead. They have proven their mettle, that they are up to the task.

So tell me, how does having a pair of balls equate to a measure of effective leadership?

If you don't trust him to LEAD you then why did you accept his proposal?
You don't accept a job as vice president if you don't trust the president to be an effective leader in his own capacity.
Because your job would be to support his rule.
If not, You only did so if your whole goal from the start was to usurp the president.

That is what marriage is.
You are agreeing to be LED by the man.
You are agreeing to yield to him.

This comes with respect.

If you have no respect for the man, you cannot love him the way he is meant to be loved.

If you want marriage to be any other way, then YOU WOMEN need to nut up and start buying rings; kneeling and proposing; paying for weddings/groom prices & lists and all that (the equivalent of you starting your own company). You really can't eat your cake and have it by everything being done for you.

MhisTahrah:
They say respect is reciprocal.Subjecting myself to my husband would be akin to stripping me of my fundamental human rights.Let me reiterate that marriage should not be a subordinate-superior relationship.The husband doesn't call the shots likewise the wife.It's all about teamwork.The both of them should be jointly involved in making decisions pertaining to the home.The wife must be seen and heard.I'm not arguing blindly,some men still live in the dark ages.

This is bullshit.
You know why?

Because there is NO FUNCTIONAL ORGANIZATION in this world and the one beyond where there wasn't a shot caller.

There is a Captain, and a co-captain. They both have respect for each other, but in a staunch disagreement (which should be rare if both share same values), the captain's decision (i.e executive order) is prime.

Same goes for CEO and other CXOs.
Same goes for Pilot and co-pilot.
Same goes for President and Vice-president. etc.
These are not "Dark-Ages" roles are they?

The 21st century woman will ALWAYS fail at marriage until she understands this...
For an organization to NOT have a shot-caller is a recipe for DYSFUNCTION and perpetual paralysis. (this should really be basic common sense. )
She must detach her ego from ALWAYS getting her way in the marriage.

Woman, if your pride is too much to not be able to cope with something not being done your way all the time and everytime.....then marriage is simply not for you. SIMPLE!

At the end of the day, WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS PERTAINING TO THE MARRIAGE, the man is the shot caller.

#Gba'be or go buy 10 cats!

...

Rokia2:
Man with pride. I just don't believe you.

LOL Roki-dearest. You e-know me.
There are just certain things I do not bring myself low for!

If I were some hungry guy, maybe. But when a man is good on his own...why?

Personally, it would do nothing to me.
I don't look at my woman's pocket when going about my life.
Na so disrespect dey start be that!

As long as she is self-sufficient and can show love where it counts for me, we're good.
She doesn't need to be a millionaire for that...and if the millionairism will make her start acting too proud I would dump her AFTER the $600M.

mgbadike81:
then change the title of the thread to something like " who can design this type of house for me". architects with such designs in their collection would definitely contact you.

Okay...

mgbadike81:
a complete floor plan would be needed but since you just need a ball point estimate, then know that a four bedroom duplex on a non waterlogged soil with moderate finishing would cost you at least fifteen million. and that is for the building alone excluding landscaping.

I guess what I really want to know is if this kind of futuristic/scifi design can be structurally achieved as Nigerian architecture.
And if it were, I would like an architect who has ventured in "different" house designs to give input as to an estimate....considering the difference of the design aesthetic.

E.g the example house image you posted is a rather common style in naija. Need inout from someone who has delved into something more different.

Rokia2:
Which ring?

So ya all been told am married?

Interesting.

Slid into your DM.
Respond when you can.

Rokia2:
Lol he needs to trust his wife naw.

BTW, cool pic but WTF is your ring?

Rokia2:
Lol insecurity is a batch.

I know someone in real life like you @poster he's so insecure cuz he feel his wife is too beautiful.

So he nacked her belle three times in a row now she have three kids but she's still cheating on him.

You think pregnancy will tied her down sit down there.

LOL roki, I don't think this your parable is helping. He needs re-assurance that "no cheating will happen" not that "whatever happens be prepared to be a cuckold".

highly recommended

mgbadike81:
not enough information to answer your question.

What information would be required?

Let's say this is a 4 bedroom / 3 bathroom.
Same exterior design (futuristic).

Architects in the house, assuming land was already purchased, what is the estimate for building this kind of house in Naija?

Rokia2:
2buff? bruh I haven't seen you in like forever. Good to see you.

Same here. How #WifeLife na?

Rokia2:
I don't believe this story.

Rokiatu the baddest.
You still dey here? Still hot too. Pepper dem mami.


@OP
You kissed someone else didn't you? So what's the problem?

Good move OP.

And It is good when this is done for the distant poor, not a broke person that knows you (like your sharp-guy neighbour), because human beings are weird.

I really think that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for the LAW OF THE SPIRIT is what we as christians must operate on, not religious dogma peddled by people (however well-intentioned) who stand to gain from the dogma that they are peddling.

We owe our resources to the Holy Spirit's guidance.
For some, that will be to give to their church building (It's nice to have lights and air conditioning in church)
For others, that is to give to the poor.

Your maximum blessing will come when you give to where the Holy Spirit has instructed you to give to.
That is why, in these times, being in tune with the Holy Spirit is more important than just blindly following what any human says about things.

Hard to say.
It would be prefarable that the child lives and the parent dies.

Nobody wants to die, but I think this pales in comparison to how much nobody wants to bury their child. (unless witch tinz)
That, in itself, is like dying a special kind of death... Who will carry your lineage onwards?

adorablevincy:
Whatever....

Aaaand this confirms it. 100% scam
There is nothing further to see in this thread.

adorablevincy:
If you cannot follow our procedure and options to be sure of who we are dealing with which is not difficult, this option is welcomed. Thanks.

Mr Ritchie's request is perfectly reasonable.
He needs to do a 3rd-party verification that you are legit, and the survey plan is the way to go.
You are trying to keep it 2nd-party at the highest. All this excessive talk over such a basic request is showing you in the light of a scammer.

For anyone else seeing this thread, this is an article explaining why a survey plan search is essential to avoid scam.
http://omonilelawyer.com/why-a-survey-plan-search-is-most-essential-land-search-you-must-carry-out-before-you-buy-a-land/

A Survey plan is a document that measures the boundary of a parcel of land to give an accurate measurement and description of that land. The people that handle survey issues are Surveyors and they are regulated by the office of the Surveyor general in Lagos as it relates to survey issues in Lagos. A survey plan must contain the following information:

1. The name of the owner of the land surveyed

2. The Address or description of the land surveyed

3. The size of the land surveyed

4. The drawn out portion of the land survey and mapped out on the survey plan document

5. The beacon numbers

6. The surveyor who drew up the survey plan and the date it was drawn up

7. A stamp showing the land is either free from Government acquisition or not.

I suggest you read the whole thing, but more from the article here:

....
The summary is that the Survey Plan Search saves you alot of head ache at first before you even move ahead. And once you meet an Omonile or Agent who is extremely difficult with you in terms of not providing the survey plan on demand for search please my brothers and sisters, walk away quietly. The signs are already there for you to know you’re about to be scammed. A survey plan is a public document and not a private cheque book, so you shouldn’t be bamboozled by people who tell you that the owner doesn’t want to release it because of security reasons. Trust me there is no reason. As long as he is ready to sell, that is the first thing you get from them to know your status before proceeding.

I'd say not worth the risk.
Living is sweeter than sex. You will get tired of sex but never of living.
She needs to go for deliverance first.