₦airaland Forum

A close friend of ours is having a wedding. Some of our friends said they won't be attending unless they were formally invited either verbally or through invitation card.

Sensing some animosity mixed with pomposity there, I tried to be diplomatic by telling them that from my own experience, sometimes the celebrants or organizers of such functions 'neglect' close friends simply because s/he has already assumed that such friends know that they don't actually need any formal invitation to be invited since they are his/her homies. Besides, the number of people to be invited might be so big that some people might not get the invitation cards.

They vehemently disagreed with me by saying that on the contrary, it means such a friend doesn't value you or your friendship at all, or s/he thinks you cannot give him a substantial amount of money or present and so your attending will only prove you are a 'long throat' person...

So what about you? What do you think? Will you attend a friend's wedding if you were not formally invited? Will you remind or even demand an invitation from such type of friend assuming s/he fails to invite you?

For the men, how long can you wait before seeking other options if your wife is unable to conceive after marriage? Which options will you take? Take a second wife? Try to have a child outside wedlock? Seek adoption...?

As for the ladies, how long do you think you can wait after marriage before you start getting worried? Will you pressurize your husband or support him to seek some of these other options? What exactly will you do?

Have you ever heard someone say something like that? I bet.

Just the other day, I came across some group of girls who were fiercely bashing some other guy. When I asked them what crime the poor guy has committed, they told me bitterly that the stupid boy failed to keep the marriage promise he made to some other girl.

I thought I didn’t hear them clearly so I asked them, "And so? Does it mean one must now fulfill all promises?" They told me that at least when it comes to marriage, the answer is "Yes!"

I burst into laughter. The way they said it, it sounded so lame to me. It sounded exactly like something someone who is so desperate or someone who believes the supply of men is fast drying up will say. I mean, is it me or are our girls becoming more and more gullible and stupid now with that type of thinking?

I told them, "C'mon, we are guys and we can say anything whether we mean it or not just to get some… you know, from you girls…"

To buttress my point, I went further to tell them that if I were a girl, I will not just accept any man who comes my way without putting him through my personal preference test. I asked them if they were trying to tell me that they were willing to believe and accept anyhow type of man as long as he uses, as they put it, the same mouth with which he eats yam and cocoyam; to tell them that he is going to marry them. I also reminded them that it is very possible for someone to mean something they said only to later change their minds as in cases when the girl starts revealing her true colors or when the guy is now completely (dis)satisfied with her as the case might be…

They flared up and said to me that "if you know you do't mean it then don't say it!" They even went further to warn me in a form of accusation that if I am into that type of "promise-and-fail" marriage things, that I should stop it at once because if the girl in question [uses her pants and] swears for me, that any curse/s she places on me will surely come to pass!

Now that was very funny but the infrared fire that their eyes were radiating warned me to hold back that guffaw. Oh boy, these girls were dead serious o! You should have seen them!

I quickly excused myself and took my leave before I say one more [wrong] thing and they’ll get the inspiration to transfer their aggression by descending on the nearest human male specie around which incidentally happens to be me!
Don’t blame me. I had to take precautions since I so much hate surprises. You know you can never know with women – these days?

Later in the day, in retrospect, I decided to get more people's opinion on that issue.

Now, this is where it gets interesting. My aunty while confirming it sternly warned me not to ever in my life make the mistake of promising marriage to any girl most especially when I know I am not ready for marriage. She told me that such happenstances can cause a very turbulent, disastrous and childless marriage for the guy later in life, should the girl/s he abandoned curse him. She even told me that it works both ways meaning that guys can also place [lots and loads of] curses on girls who abandon them for another man after initially accepting their marriage proposal! She said she knew some men and women whom it had happened to in the past.

And now I am bringing that same question here on nairaland. Ladies and Gents, please tell me what you really think. Let’s hear your views. Have you ever seen it happen – to anyone you know? Or do you believe, just like me, that it’s all pure superstition?

OK, one more thing. Ladies, please tell me why will you believe any guy who tells you he wants to marry you – just like that? And will you curse him if he doesn’t keep up with his words? Not to mention with or without your panties, of course…?

Of late, I have been receiving lots of strange and sometimes very ridiculous SMS plus a couple of text messages that were supposed to make me laugh only that it has been copied and sent and forwarded so many times, which I believe is as a result of the 40 free SMS that MTN is giving to their subscribers who recharge with N200.

“Don’t have sex on the 16th through 23rd of August because the 666 demon is going to enter the world thru sex”

“Don’t answer any call from the following number 080X Bleep XXXX. Six people have died for doing so. Please inform those you love about this.”

“Switch off your phone by midnight because cosmic rays will enter the earth!”

“Do not use 2go on so so so day or you will die – T.B. Joshua”

“Send this prayer/message to 5 persons that you love and receive special grace/miracle in your life. Those who did have received theirs but if you break the chain, you will die!”


My Gawd! Does it mean that we don’t know how to put anything into any meaningful use even if it given to us for free or creating that type of gross mischief the farthest our creative mind could take us?

So my question is: what have you been doing with your free SMS from MTN?

I've not met the girl in question but from what I can peruse from the OP's perspective cum attitude towards her situation in getting the guys, methinks it doesn't look good for her at all. For all I can see, something is really telling me that she's:

1. Really Ugly [plus not endowed at least in the mammary, backside and most importantly (for me though) in the mental department.]
2. Very cunning.
3. Much more older than the said age.
4. Has a bad though well-known record (of being promiscuous or should I say way too loose?)
5. The controlling or overbearing type.
6. Making a very bad job of masking her desperation.
7. A combination of any two to all of the above...

If you say men don't approach her because of her money, what then do you think is stopping those dudes who don't even know about her money (after all the daily okada ride exhibition) in the first place from approaching her? It doesn't just add up. Something is seriously wrong somewhere.

Because...

Quoting my favorite character, Chet, in that James Hadley Chase thriller called The Sucker Punch, there is no much difference between one woman and another in the dark but 30 million Naira is 30 million Naira whichever way you look at it!

And you can't tell me that no Nigerian guy(most especially under this bad survival-of-the-"crookest"-and-shameless situation of things in the country necessitated by the bad economy we've found ourselves entrenched in which calls for desperate measures), gold-digger or not, starting from my dear humble self and even you my very dear Poster; does not know of this fact!

I want design my website to be a members only site. I want the site to be able to generate referrals URL whenever someone else i.e. whenever a new member registers.

I want the referral URL to be something like http://mywebsite.com/?ref=username similar to the liberty reserve referral system. I would also like to make the referral URL to redirect to my sign up page.

How can I be able to do all this?

Any ideas, someone?

Who will be our next captain now? Let it not be Song or Vermalean because that will also be another disaster in the making.

Don't blame me. I have my reasons to be so afraid at this time because I am beginning to see that it is like once you become an Arsenal captain, the only possible next move is to leave and join a cup-winning side that is also paying wella!

Listen to me Poster, take it from me, marriage is still very important in our society, more especially the Nigerian society.

You may be thinking that all is going so well for you at the moment and you don't need any other thing again but you might have forgotten that even in a modern society/culture, people are not only judged by who they are but also by what is standing beside them or what they are standing beside, which ever way you like it.

It is in human nature. No matter your success and your money and your freedom to live your life like you want it, if there is no correct dude standing by your side as your husband, at the end of the day, you will still get the feeling that you are not yet complete.

As a correct dude who loved the idea of freedom more than anything else in the world, I used to think that marriage was of no use and a perfect example of social conditioning but of late, I am beginning to reconsider.

Just think about it, how long do you think your sexual value will last before the guys start looking elsewhere? Do you seriously believe that you will love the adopted children as if they were your natural kids? How will you feel when you finally discover that most of the people who are still hanging around you are just doing so because of your money? Have you considered what it really means to be lonely, most especially a lonely old woman? Do you think you will not be affected with that confounding feeling that people are sneering behind your back by calling you an old cargo who wasted all her youth SHARING her wares freely without being able and sensible enough to attract even ONE SINGLE man?

Think about it my dear. Please wake up to reality! The whole idea of marriage may not go down so well with you but please if not for anything, at least for the sake of getting the full respect which I believe you have already done so well to earn, please reconsider and get married - and the sooner you do that, the better!

A funny thought struck me and I suddenly started making some notes on some of those things I think so many Nigerians will want to be true at this moment and this is what I came up with.

1. GEJ has resigned.

2. Boko Haram has finally surrendered.

3. The cabal responsible for epileptic power supply in Nigeria has been unmasked.

4. The Federal Government of Nigerian has finally decided to start paying unemployment benefits to our jobless youths all over the country.

5. PayPal has started to accept Nigerians.

6. Fuel pump price has been returned to N65 per litre with immediate effect.

7. Minumum wage has been increased to N50,000 with immediate effect - and it will be reviewed upwards every 6 months.

8. NYSC is no longer mandatory. Only those who want to serve will serve!

9. Cultism no longer exists in all the higher institutions in the country!

10. There's been a very peaceful and bloodless secession...

Now, how about you adding to the list by coming up with your own list of fallacies that will certainly make a juicy rumors?

OP, I like the way you put it but I think you should know that seeking perfection is not the best thing when considering marriage not only for women but also for the men!

Also as a single and seriously searching dude, I am beginning to discover that in some cases, it is the guys that are preventing the ladies from getting married simply because many guys are still unable to understand women and discover how to attract a woman to and beyond the point where she start seeing the guy as pure gold and will no longer consider his height, his physique, his car, his apartment and even how much money he's got.

At this point I'm talking about, you will surprisingly though enjoyably find out that all a woman wants is just you!

OP, I think I understand your plight. Your girl could be manipulating you with such behaviors. You may have to read this article on http://emmyboy.hubpages.com/hub/How-women-manipulate-men to understand how she is perfectly doing this to you.

Similarly, you need to learn how to counter her moves. That means you might also have to read this article on http://emmyboy.hubpages.com/hub/how-to-play-mind-games-on-women to know how you can perfectly checkmate most of her moves.

Naijiria jagajaga. Everytin scatta scatta. Confusion everywhere. Fear everywhere.

One naijiria, dem no gree. Oya break up naijiria, dem no gree kwa.

Hhm. I neva see dis kain palava in my whole lyfe.

How u go come sen' kopa 4 place wey bomb dey shele? Which kain service be dat?

I's not fair! I's insensitivity raise to power infinity!

U wan make dem come die make u pay their family 5million naira in damages?

Oga Jona tink am na. Oga NYSC D-G abeg make u reason am na. If na ur children, una go jus allow dem make dey go dia jus like dat?!

Haba. Dis kain gofment wey we get as e be o!

How come no one mentioned Sky B?

Not that I hate the guy because I cannot hate anyone. It's just that I am pissed off that this guy just came out with those nice songs (minus the videos) like "Am calling" and "Here I am" and just as I was about to start liking his beats, poof and the guy is gone (forever?)!

Personally I hate it so much. It sounds so childish and useless to me but I don't know the best way to tell her to stop calling me such things because that will definitely hurt her feelings.

What do you think?

Once upon a time, Damaturu used to be a very quiet small town locked between the hot flashpoint towns of Maiduguri and Potiskum. Peace was what the little capital can boast of as both Muslims and Christians lived side by side in total peace.

When I left the city, I was always looking forward to the day I will return to relive my reminiscences of my short but enjoyable 11-month stay in Yobe State!

If someone ever told me that I would never have a reason to return to the city of Damaturu where I once had the fun of my life during my NYSC, I would have laughed in his/her face...

It is a shameful pity that things have deteriorated to this extent and I can weep for all those my loved ones whom I left behind in that city whose lives are now in total shambles and completely torn apart for reasons they (will never) know nothing about except that they thought they could get their daily bread in any part of Nigeria...

What an unforgettable and yet regrettable nightmare everything is turning out to be!

I think it is too late to cry for this country!

When I was a kid, there were so many things I was made to believe were true...take a look.

1. I was made to believe that Bruce Lee died of "muscle pull" which led to his body enlarging and bursting into pieces! Poor Bruce...

2. I was told that the reason why India do not participate is soccer was because they use a lot of juju which turned the ball into some terrible dangerous things like lions and monsters which always scarred the terrified opponents away all the time thus allowing the Indian teams to beat their opponents with as much as 50 goals to nothing time which made FIFA to ban them!

3. Now as a kid, I used to think that every black man is an Igbo man! So you can imagine how surprising it was for me to learn that Bob Marley, who we've been hearing about since childhood, could not even utter any Igbo word simply because he was not even an Igbo man!

4. I was told that the reason Michael Jackson refused to do any concert or show in Africa (or was it Nigeria?) was because the whole electricity generated in Africa (or was it Nigeria?) could not power his speakers and I kept on wondering if his speakers were made by angels!

5. I was told that it was not a good thing for me to watch people who are kissing on the telly and anytime I see such scenes, as a good boy who does not want to do anything that will incur the wrath of God, I should look away and I foolishly believed and obeyed all those adults who fed my that BS although I must admit that my precocious mind kept on wondering why those adults never looked away! Maybe, God so much hates them already

6. I was told never to eat food or accept anything from strangers and even some of my neighbors because those people wants to poison or kill me and I kept on wondering why I will always have to reject the food from my neighbor who knows how to cook wonderful meals with nice aroma simply because they want to kill me. What have I done that that they want me dead? To tell you the truth, I secretly hated both my neighbor and my parents for conspiring against my stomach and taste buds!


7. I was made to believe that I should never pick any lost money so that I would not turn into a chicken or goat or something like that because such monies belong to ritual men who want to use me for their blood money ritual. I thank God all that has changed now because if you ever mistakenly lose your one thousand Naira note and I see it, chances are, you are going to start seeing some chicken parts in my soup!


8. When I was a kid during catechism classes, I was told that Jesus died to save us from our sins and he rose up from the dead on the third day. I kept on wondering why Jesus must die for us to be saved and how possible it is for someone to rise from the dead! To make matters worse, to this day, no one has ever satisfactorily explained all that Jewish rigmarole to me!

Are you sure it is not the "Holy Spirit" at it - again?

A lot of reasons. Some include:

1. Lack of adequate preparation
2. Distractions in form of social networks, football (watching especially), irrelevant books/study materials towards their target, etc.
3. No knowledge of JAMB syllabus
4. JAMB is a test of student's apt on the subjects. Not knowing the right strategies for this kind of exam.
5. knowing the nature of the exam is necessary.
6. Getting useful tips from successful JAMB candidates.
7. Self Doubt, fear, wrong orientation, reliance on expo/runs and other may-work strategies
8. No goal to pass. Some people just attempt JAMB and depend on luck.
9. Exam day conditions (Bad conditions )
10. Umm, other wahala dem (i.e etc.)