2scorehigh's Posts
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No way. I think you're so far from the truth, Mr. OP. Those of us who know Adichie know that she was telling her own personal story in that book using the character Ifemelu to present her own personal views on so many issues. Thus, Ifemelu condemned "sugar daddyism" by not joining in it even when her friends did. If you recall, she even wondered why women will just put themselves into such a situation where men will be fulfilling their materialistic needs in exchange for sex. Two, Adichie told you the simple truth: American grass is not that green. Even European grass too. Ifemelu had to 'work' as a 'sex worker' with the man who wants sexual massage just to earn a living. Aunty Uju was always busy reading so that she can acquire a certificate to earn a better living in America. Racism is also still an issue because Ifemelu's life became easier only when she started dating a white boy. Obinze had to fake a marriage to become a British citizen but in the meantime he was using a fake identity to work just to survive... and look at the type of job he was even doing! Before then, Obinze was only good as a babysitter for his cousin. Can you imagine! That's the same obodo oyibo everybody is raving about! So these thing happen. Trying to deny it or expecting the author who has also lived in America not to highlight such things is not justice. Thirdly, like someone has already told you Mr. OP, the book is not really about morality. If you want to read a moral book, it's simple, read any publication from our Nigerian pastors or even better still, just write it! Finally, I don't see how marriage was ridiculed. If anything, I think Adichie was simply promoting the idea that people should always marry the person they love. Simple. Obinze married his wife who was just available. Wrong move. He was never satisfied in his marriage. Who told you Kosi is the type of woman every man will like to settle down with? C'mon, that Kosi is nothing but a bimbo! To be frank with you, I wouldn't marry Kosi myself because she can never give me what I want in a woman. She's just a beautiful girl but she seriously lacked the ability to give her husband the type of challenge he wanted - the type his former girlfriend Ifemelu is always presenting to him. Kosi was just like our typical African women who may even be okay with the idea that their husband is having extramarital affairs... as long as he is rich and/or he is still bringing in the money! Aunty Uju 'prostituted' her life. She chose money over love. Wrong move. Look what she got in the end. She lost her so called security in a jiffy the moment the Army general died. In fact, she had to 'escape' to avoid the wrath coming from the army general family. She also became a single mother for life. Even years later, when she tried to get a 'father' for her son, you will notice that the connection was not there with the man she was in relationship with. |
I really enjoy this story. I like the natural free flowing manner which the author has adopted in the narration. The author is doing a great job owing to the fact that a male is telling a story from a female perspective. And for that I say, kudos to you Mr. Ahmstrng. |
In my own opinion, it is not good. In fact, I call such [url=ttp://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Bad-Prayers]bad prayers[/url]. |
Missmossy:Right. But how do I see them? |
Missmossy:Please, if you don't mind, I'd like to hear some of these things your eyes have seen. You see, I'm very interested in the paranormal. You and I, we could make a huge story out of it. So what d'you say? |
Cordis92:It's very simple, if you can see it. Be the woman who is not jobless. Be the woman who is not rude. And you will become the woman that ALL men want. |
Morally bankrupt Once you get into the mind of a typical wailer, you will surely be shocked to find out how it works most especially when it comes to something like telling the plain gospel truth as it is. You see, a wailer already has a set of rules or codes he strictly abides with hence a wailer is incorrigibly and unabashedly biased right from the onset. But that wouldn’t have been a problem per se since most people are somewhat biased in general except that with a wailer, don’t EVER expect her to tell you the truth the way it is. Trust her, she can and will surely bend the truth with no scruples to suit her situation. To be moral is to have a sense of what is right, good, and truthful based on an implied common standard or from within yourself. Not so with a wailer. Yes, he may not even openly voice it out but watch him closely, and you’ll surely find out that he supports evil, either by omission or commission. You see, a wailer is always ever ready to promulgate the opinion that everyone is ‘doing it so why bother’. That’s exactly how he justifies it. It doesn’t really matter to him if ‘that very thing’ everybody is doing is morally right or wrong. He totally lacks any sense of ethics. Bottom line: wailers are morally bankrupt. People who are morally bankrupt are the worst type of people you can (wish to) be with in a relationship. They can volte-face at any time without any forewarning. They can cheat on you with no scruples. And if they are caught, they will try to convince and rationalize and justify it with all manners of concocted lies and ludicrous reasons that will surely leave you totally flabbergasted—and wholly defeated. But that shouldn’t surprise you because oftentimes such people are equally good liars. The dangerous consequences of this your wailer partner’s maligned outlook towards life is that if you can tell yourself the gospel truth, then you already know that you cannot really trust her—when it really matters—even if both of you happen to be friends-in-crime at the moment! Thus when dealing with him, there will always be that uneasiness that comes with dealing with someone you cannot really or fully trust. Ever heard of the 11th commandment? If you haven’t, just ask your wailer boyfriend, I’m most certain he’ll tell you. Should you find yourself in position where you’re at loggerheads with your inner self on whether to commit an evil act or not and you happen to mention it to your wailer partner, I’m so sure she’ll not fail to remind you that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there so be sure to make the best use of any opportunity you get… even if it means doing so at other people’s expense as long as she will benefit from such dirty deal in one way or the other at the end of the day! You see, thing is, a wailer can never be truly altruistic. Funny thing is—well, depending on your own morals—at first you might even come to like this unscrupulous attitude coming from your wailer partner in a way since it helps you make or reach certain tough decisions faster. But then, don’t be deceived or be carried away. And don’t be shocked the day you’ll eventually discover that to her, you are also a dog—a dog that can and should be eaten—when the right time comes! Wailers eh… fear them! Now listen up most especially if you’ve noticed some of these detestable traits in your partner. It doesn’t matter how good they are to you right now. Sooner than later, their wailing tendencies will soon materialize and take over them. They can’t really help it. It’s just who they are. But the question now is... Can you put up with all that? I doubt. So please, do stay away from wailers. For your own good and for the good of others. And oh, by the way, it goes both ways because if you are a wailer yourself, you may not be the best option for someone else. So there you have it. At this point, I drop my pen. I believe I have managed to highlight some salient points on why dating or marrying a wailer is not the best for your health but I know this is definitely not the end of it. Okay. Now it’s over you. Let’s hear your own voice. Do you know or have any more useful advice on why one shouldn’t date or marry a wailer? Please feel free to make your own contributions. You don’t know it but you may be saving a soul somewhere... L.o.l. Source: http://www.misyarn.com/2016/10/10-reasons-why-you-should-not-marry-or-date-a-wailer.html |
Undermining others One thing I really don’t like in people is people who undermine others. Just because you cannot do something perfectly does not mean no one else can’t do it or even do it better than you. But that’s exactly what your wailer partner will want you to believe. Listen to a wailer carefully, and you will start getting the worrying feeling that he doesn’t just like (to hear about) other people’s progress! This tendency of wailers to be undermining people deeply stems from his own fears, confusion and insecurity. He really wants to feel good about himself but unfortunately, he does it by undermining others. He is mediocre or not good enough so everybody else is equally not good enough. If she can’t cook a good meal for you, then nobody else on earth can. If he doesn’t know the answer to a question, then no one else in the class should know it. If he or she cannot satisfy their partner in the bed, then you cannot possibly satisfy yours too. I mean, c’mon, what kind of logic is that? If it so happens that you can prove to your wailer wrong, he will try everything humanly possible to discredit your efforts. He may go as far as engaging in severe character assassination just to achieve this. For instance, if you buy a car, your wailer friend or neighbor will not be happy. But just because he didn’t or couldn’t buy a car, don’t be surprised that he will be the first to tell others that after all that car your husband bought for you is just a tokunbo. Being a hardcore Doubting Thomas himself, he will always find a way to cast doubts on your intentions and deeds and even go as far as making others start having those same doubts about you or your abilities. With a wailer, you just can’t get it right. You will never be the perfect husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or wife so don’t even try. Your best is not and will never be good enough. There’s always one more hurdle for you to jump assuming you make that costly mistake of trying to take up a wailer on his unending series of near-impossible hoops laid down for you to prove yourself. So tell me, how long do you wish to be doing that? In fact, what are you still doing with such a person in that relationship? |
Love instant gratification This is one of, if not, the worst traits of all wailers. Granted, we live in a world now where everything happens so fast but wailers have taken this situation to a whole new level. For a wailer, everything happens now. Give it to me now! Let’s see it now! Show me the money now! Buy it for me now! Let it happen now! Now, now, now, nowwww!!! Awesome! https://i65.tinypic.com/9gc22x.jpg This her addiction to instant gratification coupled with her inability with identifying with reality which I have mentioned earlier on is also part of the reason why I stated earlier that wailers are just impossible to satisfy. What so many wailers in a relationship don’t realize is that their thirst for immediate satisfaction only makes them more immature in the relationship because like children, sometimes, they foolishly and maybe, unconsciously fail to realize that most of their demands cannot be met instantly. Watch it, my brother, if you still want to be in a relationship with your wailer partner. These set of people will never allow you to make plans or work on your ambition. In fact, they don’t even believe you can possibly have any ambition at all. What a faster way to kill someone’s ambition! Their impatience will drive you right up against the wall and if care is not taken, will make you commit lots and lots of mistakes in the process... And of course, you will still get blamed for that! Listen. Let me just one give you one last warning before you make the mistake of your life. Ever heard of those girls who jump ships immediately the goodies cease to come? That’s exactly what a wailer does best. Since she wants be satisfied right now and if it so happens you can’t do it for her at that moment, she leaves you one time! How much of that immature behavior can you take from him or her? |
Have a very big problem with identifying with reality Fantasy is good. Fantasy is pleasure, I know. We all love fantasy. Anyone is free to fantasize. But... When people decide to mistake fantasy with reality, that’s where the problem starts. Imagine this scenario. You are earning very well and you are solely taking very good care of your wailer girlfriend and providing for all her needs. Everything thing is good. And then all of sudden, you experience some ill luck or misfortune and you lost your job in the process. You are no longer earning that well. It’s time to readjust. But... No way, says your girlfriend. We must maintain the status quo! Actually, it sounds more like YOU MUST maintain the status quo! All your pleas, excuses, reasoning, explanations of the reality on grounds and why the things have suddenly taken a downturn for you will definitely fall on her deaf ears. Okay, completely wearied down, you now calmly ask her, “Baby, please what do you suggest we do now?” Watch her. She’ll give you a blank look and then say something like, “What? Seriously? Wait... are you really asking me? My friend just do something please. All I know is that I can’t suffer!” Now tell me, what do you do to such a girlfriend? O boy, kick her out one time! |
Can be very abusive Wailers can be very verbally abusive. If you are ever in need of a heavy load of insults to be hurled at you with so much verbosity, then look no further, just contact the nearest wailer. A wailer naturally finds so much joy in running his or her mouth so trust me; you won’t be disappointed at all. Just say something that doesn’t align with him or his beliefs and you will get the well-packaged insults in overdose. Remember, like I earlier mentioned, a typical wailer usually finds it very difficult to present a logically sound argument hence his abusiveness could also be adjudged as nothing but a defensive mechanism to stop you from making him see any reason with you as well as to stop you from exposing his logical incapacitation. Bottom-line: A wailer does not believe other people can or should have opinions different from his own! A typical wailer is brash. Being highly temperamental and very myopic too coupled with the fact that she already thinks or believes that everyone is out there to get her; she will not waste any time to launch into a full-blown verbal war with you if the situation arises. At such times, just be sure that she will call you names, insult your father, insult your mother, insult your entire family, insult everything you stand for. One problem I have painstakingly identified which makes wailers to be very abusive is their unrivalled tendency to misconstrue anything and everything you tell them. Simply put, wailers are painfully incapacitated when it comes to simple deductive reasoning and understanding. So your relationship with your wailer partner will most probably be topsy-turvy as a result of this. As her husband or boyfriend, it will take your greatest willpower to resist the temptation of slapping the hell out of your wailer wife for always misunderstanding and missing the whole point of whatever you are telling her. It even gets worse when you dare to correct her. That’s when you will see the real color of arrogance. That’s when you will experience that hail of verbal abuse you’ve asked for as she will get personal and freely let her tongue loose on you for daring to correct such an all-knowing being like her. If you are the strong willed type of person, then you can manage to walk way or at least bear with her since you already who know where she’s coming from but then again, how many people in a relationship are that strong willed enough to take all that abusive pounding without trying to get one back at her—verbally and sometimes, physically too? If care is not taken, you will soon find yourself drawn into his abusive mode where you guys will be freely slinging insults and physical blows like it’s nobody’s business. Talk of domestic violence! So you better watch it. Or better still; don’t even try to be in a relationship with her in the first place! |
Filled with so much negativity Ever heard of the glass-is-half-empty crew? That’s a clear definition of a wailer’s mindset. He’s so fixated on the negativity such that you can smell it from him from afar. When he opens his mouth, be ready to be filled with the most negative thought patterns you will ever experience in your life. He likes bad news to a fault, you know, stories like someone failing an exam or job interview, stories like couples breaking up, stories like someone couldn’t secure a visa, you know... stories of that nature. Your typical wailer believes everyone is against her. She is highly pessimistic. She is very suspicious of people around her. And her one goal in life is infect you with all that negativity. So that you can be like her. So that he will even become more convinced that everyone in this world bad. She can be quite divisive too. Which explains why with her, it’s always them against us. In fact, to a typical wailer: DIVIDED WE STAND. So don’t be surprised when your wailer partner starts telling you or insinuating something like your mother is a witch, or that your brother is too close to you for his or her liking, or that your boss is just using you, or that you shouldn’t eat or drink water in this person or that person’s house, or that your best friend is jealous of your success and might actually be an enemy is disguise, or that your neighbors hate you so much and are already plotting some evil against you... Take your time and listen carefully to the words that come out from a wailer’s mouth. Or even watch his deeds closely. Everything he does or says is somewhat geared towards poisoning your mind, pitting you against someone and filling your head with a lot of insecurities stemming from the abundance of his own chronic paranoia. Wailers! Is that the type of person you really want to settle down with? Well, that’s okay by you if you say so. At least, you won’t say you weren’t warned. |
Drains your energy They say don’t argue with a fool. I say don’t argue with a wailer. Reason why? A wailer will drain all your energy leaving you so tired, very angry and even in some cases, completely depressed. Arguing with your wailer boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, husband or wife will only leave you running around in circles as you argue back and forth. It doesn’t get any better because one of the flaws you’ll quickly notice about your wailer partner is that she is logically deficient hence you won’t ever get any sound argument out of her. Listen closely to her argument, and you’ll surely, quickly and easily find out why they say empty barrels make the most noise. With his stereotypical mindset already firmly set like cement mixed with sand and water, getting through that thick concrete walls of his thinking faculty just to make your wailer partner see reasons with you is nothing but an uphill task. Sometimes, you even get confused yourself because you can’t really say if she’s purposely being adamant or if she’s for real. Unless you have your own powerful and fully charged inbuilt backup power bank running within you, I advice you don’t dare pick an argument with your wailer partner. She will leave you completely wearied and so angry with her often dumb and pointless arguments that will even make you start questioning your own sanity for being in a relationship with such a myopic, one-track minded individual in the first place. |
Have a very big problem moving on This trait is very common with all wailers. You know that type of partner that keeps on bringing up things that happened in his or her previous relationship/s? That’s a wailer for you. You know Chris, my ex Dave made love to me better than you. But you know that’s how John used to do it for me. Okey used to buy me this, buy me that! Hey Josephine, maybe I should invite my former girlfriend to teach you how to prepare this soup! Dammit! With a wailer, you always get the impression that you are living, no, actually, you are trapped in their past which she will always find a way to make you believe was somewhat better than the present with her constant and often very thoughtless and unreasonable comparisons that will only end up driving you nuts. Not only that. Another very terrible dimension to a wailer’s inability to let bygones be bygones—most especially if the previous relationship didn’t turn out so well—is that she may also be prone to be seriously and constantly badmouthing her ex in your presence leaving you with that terrible sinking feeling of what she might say about you should that day come and—God help you—it so happens you have also made it to the league of her exes. Furthermore, because wailers have a big problem with moving on, you’ll also find out that they are usually highly emotional bad losers too! And when it comes to relationships, bad losers can do you a lot of damage. Ever heard of those jilted lovers who leak confidential and/or incriminating information or even post nṳde pictures of their exes on the internet after a bad breakup? Something tells me what drives such attitude is nothing but a wailer’s terrible intrinsic ‘bad loser’ instincts. |
Wailers! Wailers are everywhere. Wailers can be males, wailers can be females but if at any point you ever find or start thinking this exceptionally long article is portraying wailers as females, please don’t be annoyed. I presume you already know wailing is a typical female behaviour, right? Alright. So, who is a wailer? Well, a wailer is simply someone who wails. Like this troubled young man here: https://i65.tinypic.com/1672jww.jpg Ha ha ha! Anyway, I also presume you might have other ideas on what or who a wailer is so that means I won’t waste your time trying to come up with a precise definition for you. Besides, that’s not why we are here. I want us to talk about relationships. Specifically, let’s talk about the people I call wailers in relationship. Once again, you will notice that I will be using he and she interchangeably when referring to wailers. That’s because like I have already stated, wailers comes in both sexes. So let’s get started. Are you currently in a relationship? Do you really know this person you’re with...? I mean, do you really know this person very well...? As in, do you really really know whether this person is a wailer? Or not? Seriously, you need to do this before you get in too deep because truth be told, dating a wailer might not be the best option for you. Why? Alright, let’s find out why now. You see, the thing with wailers is that wailers... Can’t be satisfied Don’t even try it because you will never succeed. Because wailers can never be satisfied, you find out they are always nagging. There’s always something for wailers to nag and complain about. Do something; they cry. Do nothing; they cry. Ask her for her opinion on what should be done, she has none. But should things not go according to plans, be sure that he’ll always be there to tell you, “I told you so” in the most sardonic manner that is almost guaranteed to bring your wearied spirit down. And that’s because a wailer is also very good in blaming as well as finding faults in their partners... https://i67.tinypic.com/23qzd4i.jpg Like a spoilt child, a wailer will always remain unsatisfied, unfulfilled no matter what you do to satisfy her. Being a total killjoy too, he will always find a way to discredit you or misrepresent your good deeds or intention. Even when you come with the best of intentions, just prepare to meet the most cynical remarks from your wailer partner. One of the most effective ways of coping with a wailer’s insatiability is by maintaining your silence no matter what he says. But then again, for how long can you cope? In fact, are you in the relationship to cope? |
Good question. I wrote this article some time ago. It is exactly what I will do. I titled it: The Making of Nigeria's Best President. I'm sure it will be an interesting read for you. |
400billionman:Your are the man! Keep it up, okay! |
My dear Omooba77, the truth is that you see what you want to see. Not meaning to take away anything from your points which in all are still very much valid, but the truth is that what many people see as a stumbling block, some other people may see it as a stepping stone. My point is: I don't want us to dwell so much on the hard times but rather I want us to look at the opportunities therein that such a bleak economic outlook may present to us. This why I suggest you take a look at this great and wonderful article by Steve Pavlina: How To Make A Lot of Money During Recession You might learn a thing or two from it. Thank you. |
DanielPop:I read am na!!! I stilll dey find all of them. Na im make me dey ask? ![]() |
African Night Entertainment! Passport of Mallam Ilia! Juju Rock! Cyprain Ekwensi is it!!! Anywhere! Anytime! Anyday! |
Dear Zik, proper use of paragraphs will make this work easier to read. |
Juju Rock by Cyprain Ekwensi The Concubine by Elechi Amadi King Solomon's Mines by Sir H. Rider Haggard Round The World In Eighty Days by Jules Verne Mission to Siena by James Hadley Chase The Partner by John Grisham And so many others... Most of these books have a way of taking through a journey of adventure that only leaves you silently though regretfully wishing that the story will never end. |
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Nice story. I also like your good formatting with paragraphs. Keep it up. |
veraiyke:Why don't you try CreateSpace? |
During recession, people use two main approaches to make more money: i) The stupïd approach ii) The smart approach Sadly, most Nigerians use the stupïd approach, which is why prices are skyrocketing. The irony in it all is that we will all end up paying for all these price increments, in one way or the other. To read more: How to Make A lot of Money During Recession Using Smart Approach |
OP, please don't listen to them. This is how so many people end up in effed up and loveless marriages because they think relationship is all about physical attraction and material gains. The fact is that our brains know more than we think. On the subconscious level, when there's no attraction; there's no attraction. And there's nothing you can do about that! You might try to justify or rationalize it as much as you can but the truth will always stare you in the face. You don't need to say it but I think the feeling of being trapped financially and emotionally—forever—cannot be compared to the material gains whatsoever therein and you already know this, hence your doubts. My advice for you: follow your heart. |
MzNelly:This made me laff ![]() |
Sweetyie:You are right. It will surely help the students academically and help the country as a whole in the long run too. The price of the laptops might look exorbitant at this time so what I suggest the school authority should do is to repeat what Professor Chinedu Nebo did as the VC then when he was increased the school fees by also introducing installment payment. That way, the students and their sponsors can easily cope with the price of the laptop. This country really needs to move forward technologically. |
debbie:What advanced techy stuff are you talking about? I consider this to be a very lame excuse usually given by people who don't want to get informed by doing researches or task their brains as in learning and/or doing new things. To be frank with you, comments like this really really pïss me off. You may not have realized it but what you are advocating here is the same reason why this country may never move forward. I mean, how do we move forward and get to that advanced techy stage you're talking about if we don't embrace technology right now? You want us to remain in dark and wait until EVERYONE gets it before we can move forward, abi? Mba kwa o! Chukwu ajụ! Ahead, ahead! Forward ever; backward never! Internet banking is porous everywhere in the world but that doesn't mean we should now abandon it entirely. A whole Visa and MasterCard was hacked during the Julian Assange of WikiLeaks trials in 2010! Again, I don't know if you've ever come accross the Edward Snowden case but internet security is not 100% guaranteed anywhere in the world so no one is really really all that safe but that doesn't mean we should not recognize the fact that technology is offering us awesome opportunities of making us more productive and our lives, simpler and more enjoyable. Are you telling me you don’t want Nigeria to become advanced like America? Me, I want Nigeria to become technologically advanced like America o, by fire by force! Yes, we are far from cyber, mobile and telecommunications security but how do we get there if we are always shying away from change? Scaring people and telling them that we are not yet ripe to fully embrace technology will never help this country. I think what we should be doing as the lucky to be informed ones is to get these people aboard and be educating them on the need for technology plus how to maintain a measurable level of privacy and protecting their information. Let's start encouraging others to be doing researches on their own rather than relying on what they are just told all the time. That's why we have Google. For your information, technological advancement is a process. In other words, there's no now and there is no then. In fact, there's no ending too when it comes to technology. It is and will always be work in progress. Debbie... abeg change. jomoh:Thank you so much for saying this. Don't mind those misinforming the public. Typical Nigerian mentality. They are the typical We must continue to uphold the status quo... even if it is hurting all of us crew! Always wont to scare and discourage others from trying out new things but provide a better or alternative solution, they won't. Fück. |




