As long as you live in his home he has the right to know what goes on in your private life. Not only that. He also has the right to decide what you do and don't do 24/7. Most teens don't like hearing such but wait till you become parents and you will fully understand. It is love.

What I find interesting is the way some people are telling the poster- wait till you are 18, as if to say she will automatically have all the wisdom in the world as soon as she turns 18. It is this kind of thinking that makes most young people make critical mistakes in their lives.

Atreides:

@Genius,yeah. . And the minute i do that it becomes why am i locking my phone? What do i have to hide? He will take it to mean i'm acting suspiciously.

He does not have to know you locked it because of him. You can tell him you locked it because you don't want strangers going through your phone.

@Chaircover,do you agree that not all teens are susceptible to peer pressure? Some are,some aren't. Peer pressure has never been my problem-im usually the one who influences others and not the one who gets influenced. Its the reason why i can say even when 70% of my age-mates have been in 'relationships' multiple times,i have not dated any single person. It's the reason why i will not hurt my body by doing drugs. More than the fact that im not really susceptible to what people are saying/doing,it's because this isnt just what mommy and daddy are telling me to do,but it's something i believe in,and i will not take any chances with my future. Peer pressure is not my problem-mine is managing my temper. Anyway sha im kinda over it. I still think it was wrong for him to check my phone oh,but im not mad anymore. He knew i was angry and he didnt say anything(not that i expected him to say anything sha),buh since i'd  been camping out in my room he came to call me last night to come and watch our fav movie. Maybe that was his way of apologizing cos i know he will NEVER say sorry.

Genius100:

He does not have to know you locked it because of him. You can tell him you locked it because you don't want strangers going through your phone.

hehe. . Good idea. Here's a better one-i'll tell him i locked it cos i dont want my baby(ok so he's not really a baby anymore) bro stealing my phone to play games(he does that a LOT) and then runnin down my battery.

under 18 and so rantin abt invading privacy,which privacy sef? u re just lucky u got dad dat cares°, oh u re sad abt de old man trying to protect what he value most? anyway im sure u just bring this up to make up a topic on NL,but if u re really serious abt how sad it makes u,my advice is-- if u re in kano then let sharia take it crs,, if u re in the lagos then drag him alagbon then to court,if u re in the USA inform your district att, invading ko ,privacy ni, umuaka these days sef

Yes I will go through my daughter and son's fone

Under 18 or not is not my issue. I will only stop checking her phone when I find out she is matured enough to take care of herself. If she is in the University, I'll give her a break not when my daughter is still in Secondary school or hasn't passed her JAMB and she is talking about privacy. hehehe I'll give her six hot lashes of the cane oh her buttocks so she can focus on what is important.

, me sef tire ooo

@Inked,dont get me started about curfews. I dont even have a curfew sef. . When i was going to school(i wrote Waec this year),and school closed by four,if i wasnt home by 4.45,latest 5 it would be,ring ring,where are you? And that was when he started letting me take the bus oh-up until final year he was taking me to school and bringing me back. I cant even remember how many times i was called baby/omo daddy. Everybody must be home by 6pm. Im option 2-under 18 buh i pay my phone bills.

Meldrick:

Under 18 or not is not my issue. I will only stop checking her phone when I find out she is matured enough to take care of herself. If she is in the University, I'll give her a break not when my daughter is still in Secondary school or hasn't passed her JAMB and she is talking about privacy. hehehe I'll give her six hot lashes of the cane oh her buttocks so she can focus on what is important.

I finished sec. school this year but it still feels like im in school. And yeah,ive always had good grades-in fact id go as far as saying im a nerd so ive passed my exams. It was God that delivered me from puttilng Unilag as my first choice cos if i had,my dad would've made me go to school from home-like i would've been going to school from home every frickin day.

^^
And to prove that she's gonna grow up she has to travel as far as possible to prove the point?

///

jennykadry:

^^
And to prove that she's gonna grow up she has to travel as far as possible to prove the point?

Not as far as i can-its not like im going to Sokoto or anything. It was either Unilag or Uniben(i come from Edo state). I chose Ben. . Its not like there wont be any supervision either cos a lot of my family is there so there are a lot of people to keep an eye on me and give daily reports to my parents. In fact,get this,daddy said he and my mom would take turns coming to Ben every 2 weeks to check up on me(its not like im staying alone) and he has forbidden me from living on campus(do now get what i mean by him being extremely over-protective?). Its not that i want to go as far as possible,i just want a little breathing room. God knows i love my parents to pieces but sometimes they just drive me crazy.

@Chaircover,i get what you're saying-that my dad's feeling 'better safe than sorry' and he doesnt want to take any chances. Im not mad anymore so its a lot easier to be objective about the whole thing(i still dont think he should've done it,though).

OP , berra find an american forum.

we nigerians are not into any of that kids need space, privacy etal

Atreides:

Not as far as i can-its not like im going to Sokoto or anything. It was either Unilag or Uniben(i come from Edo state). I chose Ben. . Its not like there wont be any supervision either cos a lot of my family is there so there are a lot of people to keep an eye on me and give daily reports to my parents. In fact,get this,daddy said he and my mom would take turns coming to Ben every 2 weeks to check up on me(its not like im staying alone) and he has forbidden me from living on campus(do now get what i mean by him being extremely over-protective?). Its not that i want to go as far as possible,i just want a little breathing room. God knows i love my parents to pieces but sometimes they just drive me crazy.

Lol, I will tell you abit about myself, it might be a long one but yea. . . .

I was born in lagos, I lived in lagos, I did my schooling(up to high school) in Lagos. My eldest brother studied geology in Uniben, my best friend who is from ishan wanted to go to uniben , so when filling in my jamb form, My first choice was Uniben and second choice was Unilag.

I happen to be the last child in my family so when you talk about your parents being over protective, I will tell you that I have been there and I have seen it. I finished high school @ a very young age, prolly cos I got some double promotions and did my common entrance in primary 5.

Anyways my dad was more like a stalker then , you even have a fone and you are complaining hmmmm, When I wrote my Jamb I passed the cutoff mark for uniben more and narrowly escaped that of unilag, but at the end of the day I realised I loved unilag more than uniben so I told my dad I wanted unilag, he asked me a question he was like . . . . . . "but every young gurl of your age would wanna stay away from home why lag" I told my dad that I am not planning to study "home" I wanna study medicine and If I feel that unilag is going to give me what I want then I am going for it. This reply of mine relaxed my dads nerves and he saw me with a diff eye

Time to pay my fees before the semester started proper , I reminded my dad about it and one night he called me to the sitting room and told me he wants me to study outside nigeria mehnnn was I shocked, did I faint? yes I bloody did, I had to look at him properly to be sure I was looking at my dad abi another person

The old man already got an admisison for me and paid my fees , all I had to do was apply at the embassy. . When I was leaving naija he was like " I trust you and I know you will not disappoint me and your mum"

Ofcourse I was happy to leave naija for europe for studies but I tell you something, even though my parents made me feel very comfy in Europe, there were days I still wished I had my parents around me even if it means being over protective let me just have them with me for a few days

I have a very good rapport with my mum but when I left the country I wished I had her with me, in nigeria I could just go to her when something pops into my head but in europe I couldn't, you know why? cos it might have popped in during lectures and when I leave class, alot of my unanswered questions I kept for her were gone , I could only remember few.


Enjoy your dad's love now that you can, you see there is no such thing as family love, people wish they had dad's telling them what to do, alot of people wish their dads lived longer to take care of them the way your own dad is taking care of you, alot of peeps wish they had dads that will go through their fones like yours did,Those without father's will look at this thread and weep for their loss.  You won't understand it now like I said, wait until you become a mother, then you will understand a dad/mums worry over their kids.

Experience has taught me alot and yes both my parents are still alive.

my personal opinion is MAYBE when she is less than 16, with her permission when she is in SS 3 and above and as a request when she is less than 15.

this should be done as a friend and not as an authoritarian, a scary beast. befriend your children, and they will allow you see their phones on request. if you are this terrifying dad, they will never leave those messages in their phone and hide those videos and music where you can never find them in the phone - with names you will never suspect. remember, children will always be smarter than parents, digitally.

@jenny,wow. . That was a long read. I totally identify with the double promotion bit cos i had that when i was younger. When i was writin Waec in May id jus turned 16,when my classmates were a year older. Ive always been younger than everybody in my class and i know that has worried my dad-he worried about being bullied(i was really small-ish until i hit puberty and shot up a few inches-imagine the combination,small + efiko=being bullied). Thankfully ive always had a sharp mouth so i could defend myself,and long legs so when push came to shove i could run away but i do know he was worried about that. I know he was/is worried(but kinda happy) about how antisocial i am. He kinda had it rough growing up so he worries about everything. I guess what im trying to say is i do know he's a good man and an even better father,i know im incredibly lucky to have a father who goes above and beyond the expected responsibilities of a typical Nigerian father and i know that in time,ill see things more clearly. Even if i dont understand/agree with everything he does,i get the fact that we will not always agree on everything and at the end of the day it's his call. So while i still dont agree with what he did,i get that he's just looking out for me even if he's not doing it in the way i'd like,and i appreciate that.

oyb:

OP , berra find an american forum.

we nigerians are not into any of that kids need space, privacy etal

. . .You really got me laughin $$$$$ into my bank account!

Op, tell you what, if I have a kind of father that would go checkin my phone without my knowledge, and after knowin that I was angry for what he did, would later call me and ask me to come and watch my favourite tv programme, I'll be the happiest human on earth to have such father, he's such a kind and lovin dad.

Let me give U a lil tip about my dad. . .He is D kinda father that, whenever we all are in D palour watchin tv programme, and he's there, it's NIGHTMARE 4 U to talk to D person next to U (figure out the remainin yourself)!

dude inother for what you fear most not to happen to you i.e going through seperation it will be better that you keep sealed lips on your passed infidel activities and just make your wife see reasons with you on the need for you guys to stepup your sexual activities, think dude

^^^
Guy, u dey go Apapa wharf, but dis moto dey go Ojota O! U beta com down now b4 u go jam yourself 4 Ikorodu!

Atreides:

SO WHILE I STILL DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT HE DID,i get that he's just looking out for me even if he's not doing it in the way i'd like,and i appreciate that.

Lolz. . .This gal stubborn no be small.

Ranoscky:

    ^^^
Guy, u dey go Apapa wharf, but dis moto dey go Ojota O! U beta com down now b4 u go jam yourself 4 Ikorodu!
Lolz. . .This gal stubborn no be small.

LWKMD for the guy o! i think say na me need help

@Ranosky,ah me? Me im not stubborn oh. .

Ranoscky:

. . .You really got me laughin $$$$$ into my bank account!

Op, tell you what, if I have a kind of father that would go checkin my phone without my knowledge, and after knowin that I was angry for what he did, would later call me and ask me to come and watch my favourite tv programme, I'll be the happiest human on earth to have such father, he's such a kind and lovin dad.

Let me give U a lil tip about my dad. . .He is D kinda father that, whenever we all are in D palour watchin tv programme, and he's there, it's NIGHTMARE 4 U to talk to D person next to U (figure out the remainin yourself)!

The average nigerian father is like that. Now see how we turned out

@OP, let me begin by saying that i am impressed at the way you write.
for someone your age, all your peers write is 'short hand'. keep it up.

if the way you write is the way you reason, then i really don't think there's anything to worry about.
try and bear with your dad for now and see if you don't thank him later .

Carlosein:

@OP, let me begin by saying that i am impressed at the way you write.
for someone your age, all your peers write is 'short hand'. keep it up.

if the way you write is the way you reason, then i really don't think there's anything to worry about.
try and bear with your dad for now and see if you don't thank him later .

aww. . Thanks. Also thank daddy for buying me my first Hadley Chase when i was in pry. 4-i absolutely love reading and so writing comes naturally to me. And also thank old people(mom,dad etc) for always complaining about text language. I only write in shorthand when im texting to conserve space and money-otherwise i believe in writing in clear,concise English. It prevents unnecessary confusion. And yeah,ill bear with him-its not like i have any other choice.

@atreides

i really like you. from everything you've written, you sound like a good girl with her head on straight. your parents did a good job with you.
i understand your frustration because i felt the same way growing up. unfortunately, it's just the nature of our parents to be that nosy. it's in your best interests, not because they don't trust you.
my advice? if you can, password protect your phone, or keep it on you as often as possible and wait for the day you can move out. if you keep your head in the books and get excellent grades, university will be your way out the door and into some freedom for yourself. don't bother having the conversation with your dad about respecting your privacy. that won't go anywhere pretty. naija parents don't understand or care about privacy issues.
good luck to you. i know you will grow up to be a wonderful young lady.