₦airaland Forum

People still sell fish and soap till date. Selling fish is not another grass [to grace story]. You were simply doing a proper job to survive like everyone else. Those selling dried fish till date so we can eat are not stup!d. Many people built big houses by selling dried fish. It's unfortunate you couldn't do much with that business.

Making certain businesses look like "grass " is a serious issue in this country.

Connected1:
Follow the advice of immortal crown (the first commenter), your siblings will always respect you.

Nobody will respect you because of what you did some 25 years ago. If your life turns out bad because you spent your youthful days trying to lift others, be rest assured that the people you "lifted" will someday become tired of your excesses. More often than not, they'll ignore you and your calls.

People (siblings inclusive) will only respect what you make of your life and career, not the school fees you paid 35 years ago.

Just make sure you don't become poor or a liability in the process, else...!

Vello:
I sacrificed my youth for family. Sponsored one outside the country and another through school (not fully though) gave all my salaries to elder sister for months so she could further her education. I sacrificed all my savings for entire family so we could be the envy of other families. I later secured admission to Unilorin years later, same sister called me bastard when I begged for N5000 loan so I could sustain myself till after exams.

I wish I hadn't remembered we were family

I wish I were as wise as I am now.

Those same siblings today are my strangers far as I'm concerned. They don't even know whether I live or dead. They don't care.

Sacrificing for family is good but, never at the expense of your life goals, dreams and ambition. They would only respect you for what you make of yourself and never for what you do for them.

Far as this topic goes, the choice is yours

@emboldened is 👌👌👌 That statement should be printed on a large billboard, so all emergency parents (aka firstborns) can read and take a daily dose.

.. probably because the so called "outside" are more supportive, available, responsive, helpful, appreciative, sensible, and exhibit less beggarly and entitled behaviours.

Principles of giving

1. No one should dictate to you what to do with your money.

2. Do not feel guilty over anyone's lack unless you're genuinely responsible for their condition (e.g., when you steal from them). Note the word "guilty", not "sad" or "pity."

3. When you miss #2, you create room for emotional blackmail.

4. Do not assume the position of "alpha and omega" in anyone's life. If you're not there, they'll survive. If you die, they'll still survive and move on to the next donor. You and your ego will become history and completely forgotten.

5. Finally, give because you're "led" (whatever that means to you).

TheWinterBird:
He's the same guy. Yes, I saw your reply in the other thread and you're absolutely right.

The black tax idealogy is meant for family members who are doing well financially, not a poor, struggling one. There's no reason why a family member whose life has been stagnant for years should continue taking up the financial responsibilities of the rest of his family, when no be him born them, when he has tried, when his siblings after him and parents are capable of working and helping themselves. Yes, you're right - his parents are probably not that old. If he's the oldest at 27 and there're 5 kids, then the youngest must be a teenager (meaning it wasn't long ago that they had this last born). So they just kept borning kids knowing they're both AS only to dump the responsibilities on the oldest. I'm sure they wouldn't mind borning another yet again, if they could. That is the height of irresponsibility and selfishness. It's time for him to be selfish too.

Accurate. Well said

Rukevwe999:
Again, Nigerian men are nuts for foreign women or anything of that imitation - why do you think many of them prefer "fair" women with straight hair flowing below their shoulders? In order to attract an ideal man some women go far as bleaching their skin, putting on wigs and fake lashes to imitate western beauty.

Don't put the blame on men. I don't know any Nigerian man that prefers wigs. I have never met anyone. This thread is a testament. Women do many things to compete and outdo themselves. It's never about men.

Ulunne777:
And the way it's making alot of my fellow women bald ehn!
To look at themselves in the mirror when they remove every every at night even fears them.

Nawao. So what's the point? Self confidence at day, only to go back to cry in your bed at night? Lol

TheWinterBird:
Why are your parents not helping? You're paying his rent and school fees; that's a lot of responsibility on you, especially when you're struggling and aren't taking care of yourself or your own dreams.

I read your other thread (https://www.nairaland.com/7927010/parents-sickle-cell-kids-how) where you said the responsibilities on your three SS siblings also fall on you. Your parents just decided to bring kids into the world to suffer, including you, who is fending for everyone because you're the oldest and happen to be AA. If you were also SS, you'll still be doing everything for all of them just because you're the "oldest", na wa o. Your siblings should learn some skills, even if online skills to start earning some money and take some of these burdens off you. You cannot continue putting yourself on the backburner just because of them.

Oh, he's the same guy? The last time I called out his parents for their wickedness, he and others came for my head.

I don't know how to massage people's ego, so I guess having the words 'wicked' and 'parent' in the same sentence triggered people's emotions, but that is what it is. His parents did not only leave behind three SS kids; they failed at their utmost responsibility, transferred major liabilities to him (the firstborn), and are probably only waiting to "eat the fruit of their labour" as always.

He is only 27, but his justification is that his parents are old. By the age of 50 or 60, a man should be fulfilling his purpose, not waiting for the "fruits of labour." How can his parents be considered too old when their first child is only 27 years old? Even if they married late, it still does not justify anything. Marrying late should be a reason to have fewer children, perhaps one or two.

Never seen a thing like this in my life tbh. To break this cycle of black tax, OP needs to call out his parents and get them to be responsible. There is little his siblings can do given their health challenges. Get your parents to live up to their responsibilities. It is as simple as that.

Go to YouTube, search "Black Tax by Apostle Femi Lazarus." Listen to the message and thank me later.

You have my support 💯

I pity your parents.

HeatSeeker:
🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️

As I saw this your post, I hurriedly ran to my kitchen to check the soy sauce I have with me. Na Amoy'c I buy o!

I have five "Amoys" soy, dark, and chilli sauce in my house like this. Na God go save us; to think we bought this stuff from a credible/popular mall in Lagos - Justrite stores - is even more worrisome.

Quality control is almost non-existent.

So you people don't use Incognito mode here? Nawao. Una get mind.

Get Dangote to supply fuel to Nigerians fess.

Motivational speaker isonu. You moved from an uncompleted building in Agbado Oja to Magodo? You no poor, bro.

Tomato paste is good for jollof rice ONLY.

kabanayol9:
I agree boss but they would have done well to speak out but not all of them.

If they speak out, you still won't believe because you think they have what you don't have.

You think you deserve help from someone who drives a big car because bike is all your can afford. You forget that the one driving a big car is also looking for help from the one using a private jet. Everyone needs help. The earlier you realise that, the saner you'll become in the long run.

annointedsoul:
yes sir

That's strange though.

otunbablacq:
First, HSG is not really an investigation you may want to rely on. I mean its an outdated investigation with needless pay yet less precision.
My advice is that you should get a fertility expert since your copulation is now 6 months which has likely ruled out primary infertility. You may have entered secondary infertility but all hope is not lost. If you are in Lagos, i may suggest a Doctor that could be a true guide in the journey

You may need to check the meaning of primary and secondary infertility again. What you have here is completely wrong.

Your doctor recommended herbs?

All projections are in line

I sincerely hope that Nigerians are prepared for maximum and unprecedented shege in 2024 sha?

Whenever you pray, just make sure you're using the right words like "exemption", "exclusion", etc. As far as Nigeria is concerned, it will NEVER get better, but with the right principles and prayers, one can be excluded to an extent.

Her parents should be remanded in prison along with the pastor. But, of course, I expect most people here to always exonerate the parent.

Eskoba:
Dear nairalanders, I appeal for any kind of financial assistance to help me buy a Christmas cloths for my kid, he's five years incase there's anyone who can give out a cloth and shoe to him. I will resume my story tomorrow 🙏

BTW, someone sent me a mail and asked me to request for assistance here. He/she gave me some encouraging words and financial assistance also.

Pleading or begging for assistance is better than diverting company's money.

If you have to do this continuously until you find a job, please go ahead. But in case, an helper does not show up, never use your son as an excuse to return to Ikoyi prison. Christmas is not a deadline for anything.

hakeemhakeem:
Some weeks back when the interior minister sourced for funds to pay inmates fine some bad belle people were saying FG paying FG.whats is values of the fine compared with the inhumane treatment people were facing in the prison across the nation

You can't blame them, please. You can't pay prisoners when majority of your youths are jobless, underpaid, and living a horrible life. Have you been to Makoko?

The horrible life outside the prisons is the main reason people get into prisons in the first place.

If I were Seun, I will ban the words "Igbo" and "Yoruba" on Nairaland.

Some of you have become so st.upid to the extent that you can't make any coherent statement without inserting Igbo or Yoruba.

Nigeria has over 200 ethnic groups ffs. Hausas plenty pass una but they won't come online to discuss other people. Ijaw is the 4th largest tribe in the country, but hardly will you see any Ijaw person castigating another ethnicity online.

I was on Twitter during the downtime. I read a few tweets from people confirming how they learned tribalism from this wreckless forum. When people talk about the evil in this country, you Satanist will stop at nothing to condemn and insert obidients in your stupidity. Shouldn't every normal human being speak against tribalism?

A lot of people said they learned words like @f0. nja, fla+ he@d, etc. on this forum but that one no concern una. The damage you're doing to yourselves and your generations to come will manifest in due time.

Keep your money, don't do business with 1m. You have a 95% chance of failing.

Go and learn a skill (e.g., tailoring/fashion design, art, film making, photography, plumbing, painting, POP making, leather works i.e., shoe making, wallet making, belt, catering, graphics design with printing press, and so on). A skill will never fail you so long as you're good at what you do.

Use your intuition to decide which skill fits your cognitive abilities and interest. If you need my advice, I'll say consider graphics design and printing works or tailoring.

A million Naira business is for people with a job. You can't invest 1million in a business when you have no job. It will FAIL in 3 weeks.

Why this ma.dness when they can achieve the same purpose in a living room?

Stay away completely. Can't you learn from history? It's the greatest teacher.

Lead your family and take charge lest you suffer massive consequences later on in life.

A good way to reverse this messy history in your life is to treat your daughters as KINGS. Let them know their worth from childhood and never relegate any gender in your home. If you fail to do this, then prepare for a repeat of wifey's history. As you have already seen, her tears mean nothing.

Sorry. She won't do this.

9free:
Not surprised though. Some first time mothers mostly buy things the baby will neither need nor use as long as the money is available. While some others do it to pepper other mothers in the maternity wards.

Really? Staying in a maternity ward because you want to show off when you can pay extra for a private ward? Nawa.

Esthered:
Maybe it's not his first child.

That's right