₦airaland Forum

9free:

Thank God for National health insurance, scheme.

Hmmn.. Nice

Are you a government worker?

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

List the items your wife bought for 100k.

Esthered:
Things are very expensive. I spent about 150k in 2021 being a first time mum.
You're right with inflation, it can get up to that and more.
No baby drawer, bathtub......

Exactly. First time moms will love to have most of the basic and essential stuff. Inflation is the real monster. 150k in 2021 is 300k+ in 2023.

DeLaRue:
It is good that you're putting money aside for the baby.

That said, your wife is carrying that baby and if she has pleaded with you to buy rice for her mum, you should consider doing it for your wife.

A good compromise will be to give your mother-in-law N30k cash in envelope or transfer instead of buying N60k bag of rice.

Another 30k to your mum too will bring everything to N60k.

Tomorrow, you people will complain about how children abandon their fathers.

Give 30k to this mom, another 30k to the other mother. What about the father, Mister?

You people (men especially) should continue.

Esthered:
300k for baby things oga mi?
I think it's on the high side sha o.
Only if they're buying the consumables in bulk.

See what this vendor is offering for 290k (promo price o) with just few clothes. No food, bed, or brea$t pump, etc. These are basic/essential items according to the vendor, but of course, I know it's possible to improvise.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C04RWowo3Ra/?igsh=M3F4aG83OGg5YzF0

Esthered:
That one is one off na. You dey vex o.

I know right

Okere18:
You r buying 400k baby stuff for the on coming baby, you r not serious, get fee good stuff and get your mother in law even if it's half bag and still save some money. 150k can buy ur baby stuff.

150k? Is it for ewa or garri? Please don't have a baby with this mindset. You're clearly not ready. We are in 2023 not 2020.

For peace of mind;

Baby things - budget 300k upwards
Another 300k-1m for emergency or elective CS.

This sort of event is the reason majority of men do not discuss their finance or savings with their wives. Some women do not care about tomorrow. They won't stop until you finish what you've got on limitless needs.

Since you're having your first baby, I'll like to believe you're new to this marriage thing, so please go ahead and gift your parents something. If this is your first Christmas as a married man, try to do something. That's a sensible thing to do. And no, you don't have to buy a bag of rice. That's too much for an expectant father with a life savings of less than 2m. If your wife continues to think in this manner, just prepare your mind to relocate to the village.

No pressure over here. December is not a deadline for anything. I will buy whatever I want any other day.

Staying in your parent's house because of poverty is not a good thing. However, for rich folks, no issues.

Esthered:
Why sir?
Compliments of the season.

Compliments of the season to you too, dear

No serious reason o. Just trying something different this Christmas. Maybe ice cream and small chops.

I don't know. I'm not buying.

Politics aside?

"Ajo" will humble you

Online marketplace? As in you want to build a mobile application? LOL

What strategy can you come up with to have just 1,000 downloads on PlayStore with 25m? Do you know what it takes to have just 500 people download your app? Better channel your energy on something else.

By avoiding your parents, you're doing more damage to them and to yourself.

And what exactly do you want to achieve with a bag of rice while you're struggling? To repay them for what they've done or to fake a success you truly haven't achieved?

My friend, get your phone right away and speak to your parents. Explain your situation to them. Your parents will be more than willing to spend some time with you and more importantly, pray for you.

If you wait until you're successful to celebrate or spend time with your parents, sorry, you may never have that chance.

There is a difference between loneliness and feeling lonely. The former is a chronic situation resulting mainly from rejection or physical isolation. The latter is completely and absolutely normal in marriage as it's only a passing emotion.

Your case is an exemption given the other and more implicating issues like addiction and loss of affection. As per feeling lonely in marriage, it is normal. If you want your marriage, then focus on fixing the more implicating issues.

Yes. It is normal, when your perception of a gift is limited to a package item with fine gift wrappings.

In all you do, do not heed the advice of a sentimental human being. The fact is that you and your wife have been irresponsible. Whoever will not admit that shouldn't be advising you at all.

What job does she do in Lagos? What arrangements has she put in place to manage three children in Lagos? Do you know what it takes for a single parent especially with those yeye 5 to 8 pm Lagos jobs to raise not one but three children? Until you are fully convinced, do NOT release your boys unless you don't mind having some cultists as children in the future.

Those who talk about reconciliation should also put themselves in your shoes. Who is doing the reconciliation? Who is leaving his/her job for the sake of the family? The runaway wife or the one-time broke father with a 50k salary whose wife ran away from? Certainly not you. I assume you guys live in different cities.

Your children's safety is a priority at this point. They are already in a high-risk situation. However, relocating those boys back to their mother under the guise of "bonding" three paternal triplets will not fix the risk. Your children need you in their lives. They need their mother too. Someone should be talking to your runaway wife to reconcile with her family. Since none in both families have been able to fix that, it's okay to wait for a magistrate to decide.

Now to your question, should that really be a question in the first place? What kind of father are you? You have an opportunity to bring your boys closer to you, an opportunity to meet them at least twice daily, and you're asking strangers to advise you?? If you and your runaway wife won't have sense, please leave those kids with their grandparents. They are perfectly and well positioned to do your duty. We've seen many children without parents doing so well with their grandparents.

Like Crypto, politicians in Naija will buy dip this period by stealing more to buy fancy houses in the U.S.

doggedfighter:
You don vex

They're the ones that hail Portable and say he has grace.

😄😄 E reach to vex

AsomStructures:
Lol, Gov. Sim has really learnt well from his mentor

Shay wike think say na only him sabi mad?

Honestly

Well, he promised to reduce you people's purchasing power. Promise made. Promise fulfilled.

The most f00lish sets of Christians are in Southern Nigeria. You'll never find this brand of Christianity anywhere in the North or Middle Belt.

ResidentSnitch:
This one just woke up from coma...
Lol.

Serious coma.. Like he's been in ICU all these years

doggedfighter:
You know here's crazy

Do you understand ?😏

Yeah, I understand 😄

No worries

Sim Fubara needs to work with a strategist at this point. Get these people replaced immediately. Simply declare their seats vacant and ask for applications from the public - people of Rivers State.

clems88:
Wife and mother matter is a very sensitive one that a person has to be careful about, if not it will always bring problems. I always ignore my wife if such comes up. When she complains or says something that maybe annoying about my mum or sisters, I'll just ignore it because me no get time for all kinda wahala

Really? Your wife says annoying things about your mom and sisters? It is well.

oz4real83:
Without technology, security will always be a problem in Nigeria. All these people commiting crimes everywhere, they are not spirits, they are fellow humans, until govt seriously invest in technology to fight crime, security problem will persist. If police officers have active body cameras on them, they won't take bribe from motorist, they will strive to effectively carry out their duties, there are many things technology will help us do in Nigeria, unfortunately, the govt isn't willing.

The government is here to steal, kill, and destroy. Their goal is to carry out Satan's mandate in Nigeria.

Ekpekus:
I will rate it a 5 (that's being generous)
It reeks something that is unreal...
Klinge a soldier and one of the men caught(the father of the girl) told the soldiers, a boy is the leader of the gang and took the soldiers to his house... who does that?

...And the boy set Pere, a captain, loose on the ship, and that was the last time we ever saw him (Pere) on the screen. Pere was so dumb and weak not to have realized the sufferings of these boys or even rendered a helping hand by taking down the villain.

Oh, Pere with his big muscles suddenly vanished from the movie after getting help, while the tiny adolescent actor went all out to take down armed men all by himself. God, abeg.

Hathor5:
I don`t agree. Her problem is not his mother but his attitude towards her. If he gave her what she needs, she wouldn`t notice the things he is giving to other members of the family. And I am not talking about material things, though I m not sure if their problem centres around finance, but it could also be something like understanding, love, attention, respect, time, understanding or whatever.

According to the OP,

The statement was "had it been it was your mum that did that you would have find means to repay her'.

Of course, it is about money, not love, time or attention. It appears that the OP borrowed money from his wife or someone and has been unable or unwilling to repay.

What I don't understand is how the mom came into the picture. It's completely needless, baseless, and a clear sign of resentment and disrespect, but that's my opinion.