₦airaland Forum

blackbalang: Cookies COokies COOkies COOKies COOKIes COOKIEs COOKIES and I'll spend d weekend without him begging.... D bad thg is d 2wiks insanity workout dat fllws .... And water

I will fill my entire fridge with cookies only if you promise to come over this weekend.

Foxybone: Opeyemi... Once Upon a time, my grandfather na the greatest medicine man for the whole of egbiraland... People for far and near dey show im place.... The day wey the old man late, na the day I show this world... If you break am down, you go know say na me be im re-incarnation, so therefore, if i say I go show person im back without twisting im neck, e mean say i go turn the person to duck-folw... If you no want dey the same shoe with your oga, better, jeje arrange me the Alomo wey I request for... I need am to go make my kitten scream.. oya, kia kia make I put head....

Still dey careful o, I fit carry u show your back without twisting your neck.....

Drunkard.

Mynd_44: Abeg give me something wey strong. That exam too tough

No be that same exam wey you don dey retake for almost 6years now?

Omo your brain don kpafuka.

Na only shack, ganja and ashewo you sabi nothing else.

emmykk: 1.No president is ever loved while they grace the throne,people who are failures like 2 drag them down.goodluck jonathan did not forced himself on us.he wisdom,intellect and divine will took him there take it or live it 8years wil complete
2.moderators of online forum are idiot.reason been that they post an article and login into fake made account and make rubbish comments that will instigates,by so doing increasing their search engine optimisation.atimes i dnt read some thread

This is certainly one of Jonathan's student. The writeup sounds exactly like Dame Patience Jonathan's speech.

beylinko: Abeg wetin dey happun 4 here. Na so so empty bottles i dey see

You no kuku get money to buy your drink na so so awuf you dey always find come here. Anuway sha all those your friends don go house so if you wan buy drink make you talk, if not make you waka go outside, I wan clear here.

Idowuogbo: Ur point is?

He just acquired a DSTV and he is amazed at the channels he now gets unlike NTA, STV,AIT and the rest.

Tiana155: Romantic beer parlour. Na so e dey be?

omalichawa, I see say you dey new to this bar. On my bill you fit order for anything for tonight.

freecocoa: My dear no be small thing o,all my body dey shake,i need a drink with the other thing to go with it,you know na

Oya go wait for me for my room I dey come now now. Make I just attend to this customer.

oluchi jud: Lol.. Na so some gals dey form rubbish... Dem go do nyansh lyk person wey no dey shit 4 toilet.. Na so ah go Peace park 4 jibowu one tym... I won travel go enugu.. D driver b load d bus...
Driver: nne no stand dere dey luk me.. Bring money 4 ur luggage mah comot here,enugu no b ore.. Ngwanu..
Girl: (phonerising wt attitude): pls speak wat i will understood. I dnt speak pidgin english.. If u cldnt collect d money i just giv u 4 load den 4get it....

Choi... I laff tire ma belle start 2 dey pain me cos ah neva chop.. Guys wey dey wait 4 d bus shock... Fine babe ,heavy make-up..

Ah b gal o... But some gals just tire me

The babe na idowuogbo, you no see the tribal mark for her nose and tongue that day?

The girl sabi form....

ExcelDec: [color=#990000][/color] ;DAlomo Bitters, Yoyo Bitters, Lords Schnapp, Gentle Man (Chelsea) ;DAlomo Bitters, Yoyo Bitters, Lords Schnapp, Gentle Man (Chelsea)

Are you allergic to sweet things?

Meristem: THIS IS RAT POISON!!!! I have hands on experience on a 3 bedroom bungalow project and I swear this poster wrote this list from the warm comfort of his/her jacuzzi! I even have an excel worksheet for my job so far, estimated costs, actual costs and all. OP if you expressly request, I can forward it to you. In naija, everybody knows everything about everything! if u get started on this 15k,15k,5k list, u'd be standed with a concrete slab, an unpaid mortgage, a blown up life savings...and no house. if you dont believe me,try. So many factors determine the cost of a building, like LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION (how many times did I say that?). ***switches back to listening mode***

So what sense have you made? 'Cus I can't phantom any meaningful thing you have just put up there.

Hill2012: If it's still available I will pay 500k cash today if u can bribg it to c m d guest house by 5pm. 08026129218

Ole! Na every body you want make dem bring car come guest house.

Criminal.

Brite02: i don show...*looking @ his watch* barman bring one beer make i clear eye, i knw want drink too much make my boss no beginning to suspecting me....do my break time go soon finish..

check your time again.

NOTHING FOR YOU. dey go office you this onigbese

Hill2012: If it's still available I will pay 420k cash today if u can bribg it to c m d guest house by 5pm. 08026129218

If you are willing to buy go to where he has it parked to inspect it how dare you tell him to bring it to one useless guest house? Abi you wan use gun steal him car?

Mumu

Daverytimes: 60,000 people have died in the Mexican drug war in the last 5 years but it doesn't make the list? 20,000 died in Nigeria in a span of a decade but that makes the list? fucking idiots.

If they place Nigeria Number one as most uneducated people in the world, it is people like YOU that made us get to the top list.

Pathetic Ignorant illiterate just because he managed to watch CCTV news we won't hear word again.

Daverytimes: 60,000 people have died in the Mexican drug war in the last 5 years but it doesn't make the list? 20,000 died in Nigeria in a span of a decade but that makes the list? fucking idiots.

If they play Nigeria Number one as most uneducated people in the world, it is people like YOU that made us get to the top list.

Pathetic Ignorant illiterate just because he managed to watch CCTV news we won't hear word again.

Foxybone: E too dey early to show bar but make i just take one shot carry my self go shout for my GM head for office... E don tay wey me dey plan.... **strolls into the bar, sights opeyemi coming with a giant BULLDOG... Turns and runs for life fiercely chased by the bulldog... Moments later, returns with the bulldog prepared into hotdog garnished with lots of pepper and garlic** Barman, abeg pass me three bottles of chilled Legend!!! **finishes eating and hands the collar of the dog to Opeyemi... Turns and run into his car with Opeyemi weeping like a baby**

Kiah! Igbo na bad thing oh!
See as ganja make you dey imagine things like craze person.

Rush go drink milk abeg.

OPEYEMI AD: gbagaun!! No wonder u came late. They say dem arest u 4investigation, na true and hw far about it nw?

Na your 3 months salary I pay olopa as bail charge make dem gree me come bar.

Zediccus: O boy, na april i drink last o, chei ! Barman, if una get red label abeg bring one, i no be beer person. Abeg, when dey pay me, i go buy bottles for guys.

Mumu who wan pay you?
You no see your name for people wey dem sack for Mainstreet Bank? Abeg waka enter BRT lane joh.

No credit for jobless man.


Shout Out : To all those people wey loose dem job for Mainstreet bank, and other banks and companies for Nigeria within the past 1 year, na God go provide for una oh! He go replenish una. To all those wey dey find job sef, God go give una better job.

Just dey pray to God. Nobody fit do am, na Only God.

Kasala don burst oh!
Abeg which of una sabi this police commisioner for Lagos?

My padi wey be chied store keeper for Guiness Nigeria wey dey sell drinks half the price to me dey kirikiri right now. Dem nab am with 50 crates wey him one supply me this evening.

If una no gree help me, beer for here go increase like other bar for area oh!

And I sure all of una dey show here because of cheap shayo.

OPEYEMI AD: e no gud make i start from u dis morning anyway let me pity cos u ar stil a kidz. If u dnt read paper cant u read bar notice boar wey dey ur back say jonathan subsidice ginjer

Na to dey wash glass cup, serve drinks and ukwobi I employ you for. No be to dey do PRO of this bar.

If you no take your time, I go deport you back to the village.

By the way since saturday na so money don dey reduce for drawer. Do was those glass cups make you come do account.

Sijo01: abeg sofri jor. u nor dey pity 4person ni
em come ur bar come find solace, instead of u to giv am dat atmosphere, u jst dey misfire.
how much em dey hol u sef

Go Banana Island for Ikoyi. Ask how much one plot of land be, then make you multiply am by 2. Na the amount wey chief caretaker dey owe us be that.

Idowuogbo: wetin dey happen hia sef? notin dey flow, una no sabi ginger correct jare!

AyoB wey u dey o!!!!!

You go meet for me behind counter make I show you as e dey happen?

Na free shayo for you be that for the next 2 weeks.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]abeg who dey here.
? My day no good o. I dey control traffic dey look woman yansh, instead wen i go say stop. . . In short, my mouth dey say stop, but my hand dey say come, na so one danfo come jam one range rover. The yansh wen i dey look wen cause the wahala come go. I no know say na my oga pikin dey drive the rangee ro. . . The girl say she go report me give im papa. I don beg am tire she never gree.

Abeg give me something make i think first... [/color]

Abeg shift go corner joh! Na everyday you dey bring this kin story we go pity you give you free shayo. Today that trick no go work because your credit alone for this bar fit buy 2plots for Banana Island.

If you get the girl address, wire am sharperly. I go send am to akpos and irikefe make dem kidnap am. Na because she no get problem to think of that's why she dey threaten you. By the time wey akpos finish job, her papa go dey find ransom money to pay dem no go get your time again.

OPEYEMI AD: so u cant even read our baner, poster and sign board very wel and understand anyway u don mis road, go to mama put or mr bigs

No mind the mumu. Na so he enter here last week say him wan buy pizza before we know wetin dey, he begin beg customers for money and remaining nkwobi and beer.

OPEYEMI AD: oga u knw remenber dis man? D man wey dey chop onion wen his otepu dey chop suya, maybe dem don chop his money finish dats y we see him here tday.

Him just come relax here no be say him come drink. Na that psychiatrist hospital wey dey opposite him dey come visit every tuesday for him treatment. Maybe the queue too much and you know say craze people no dey like too much crowd and noise.

Sha give am small space beofre him go jump on you bite your neck.

I see for today dailies say Jonathan don subsidize Igbo. Na true?

So now anytime wey anybody buy reach N2,000 worth of drink we go sammer am N5,000 of ganja. Nothing do una!

Sweetchick and idowuogbo abeg make una meet me for behind counter make I test to know who own don expire and the person own wey dey struggle to survive.

Idowuogbo: If u no talk correct I fit use ur bweast do rizla

See as d tin dey speak commandments, oh gal! Ur bobbie fit wake Bob Marley

And your own fit kill Bobby Brown.
I no fit wait to chook my head for those bobilicious bobby of yours.

Mynd_44: no be me them find come. Na that mumu 190 dem dey find

Na you joh!
190 oga don seize the okada wey him give am because the mumu no dey deliver again. Na so so ashewo dey chop him money.

sweetchicks: dey waka pass.... e be like say na craze pple full this bar o!!! na so i jejely waka comot... dem talk say the highest gbana go hapun tonight...

Before you go I fit press your bakassi small?

Foxybone: I wan go house abeg... Barman, pass me small container of alomo make I carry dirty eyes first...

Why you no dey respect yourself?
Why you hide thief one alomo come put am for pocket? Abi you think say I no count wetin I display for bar before I go wash those glass cups?

Abeg this na monday, no bring that yeye thief thief bahavior come here. Either you pay wetin you don put for pocket or I go shout thief for your head.