₦airaland Forum

Mynd_44: Wetin dey happen for here? I wan shayo ooo. Barman bring one bottle of Star abeg. I too get stress for body

Police find you come here this afternoon. Dem say that woman wey you use your okada jam her RAV4 come their station report say you never still fiz her side mirrow.
If you know wetin good for you, I go advice make you just go home straight go hide because dem say dem go come back.

freecocoa: Okay i don ball in make i show una say na we dey run things for the streets.

Bar man,wida your wida eyes o,nack me one big bottle of alomo sharparly,i wan dey well now.

Abeg waka enter VIP lounge where A/C and LCD dey.

Hope say you carry drunkard permit this time around sha? Because the last time wey we shack you up na so NDLEA and NAFDAC almost come clost this bar.

If not be say Seun na their customer for there, we for never still open.

Sijo01: wer dis karikature migrate frm

Barman c ur boy dey harras me !
Oya cautiom am bfor i ring bottle for em head .

You think say na like that my other short togo boy wey you dey chance?

This one go beat you like say tomorrow no dey? Na person wey dey chop broken bottle you dey talk say you wan ring bottle for him head bah?

First go house go write your will before you follow am fight oh! 'Cus I doubt if you no go enter coma after the fight.

Goldieluks: thank you sir...
bar man--acidtalk #speaking in queens english# can i have three bottles of beer,three
glasses of palmy and two bottles of eva water please. Reserve the extras please

Common carry your mouth go corner joh!
Na so you sabi english reach wey at your age you still dey struggle to pass common entrance to enter js1.

Na me you wan come open eye for.

millinmax2: What is happening here...Acid Bobo where u de i need big stout and give goldie wetin she want jare...No fighting tonight

Oga, if you know wetin good for you begin dey go your house oh!

My padi dem for up north (those chairmen them), come do their emergency meeting for lagos and na here dem dey meet.

ceeceeco: 1.she must b dedicated & hard workin'. 2. She must b God-fearin'. 3. She must b a gud cook. 4. She must b sincere & generous. 4. She must b trustworthy. 5. She must not b ugly & not 2 pweety either. 6. She must learn 2 tolerate. 7. Her natural features must b attractive. 8. She must b carin'. 9. She must cum 4rm a well respected home, even if they aren't rich. 10. Above all, she must luv & respect my parents.

Oliver Twist.
We asked for 5 you mentioned 10.
All good anyway.

Goldieluks: see this ogogoro background bar man.
na me you wan open zobo and kunu shop for? Abi you never here about me for this region??
Go ask wella, make you come back give me reply. ##give me the dry gin jor#

I don ask about you, and people say that kin business too Behind for you. Dem say make I find you corner for near one school make you take dey sell donkwa, kilinshi and kulukuli.

My friends fathers tenant that stay in a 1 room self contained apartment just bough a Murano SUV ride valued at N1.7m whereas he pays N250,000 for house rent.

michelin89: Marrying from an extremely poor home? Not slightly poor or poor but extremely poor?

- If he is first child, I won't.
- If he's the only male child I won't.
- If he's not the only male child and not the first child, but his sisters are all unmarried and his brothers are jobless, I won't.

I nor dey marry any poor person. Poverty is a disease and it's contagious.

Sho! see condition.

agabaI23: Very irritating. The second point is the reason why we can hardly see a car without a scratch in Nigeria even if it was procured newly

That's why a whole lot of people avoid buying brand new cars, because especially in Lagos they will make the car look like 10th hand used in less than 2years.

Goldieluks: i feel like drinking something strong tonight.




You bar man you no dey fear face? touch wetin?? and you see say na me be hot cake for this joint.
You wan spoil my racket? abi na bar man i go come allow touch wetin?? abeg abeg face front, make you offer me
some dry jin..

You see yourself?
All these drunkards no get shinshin for pocket. Na gbese dem dey buy drink.

If you gree for me ehn, you go enjoy me well well.

I get like 6 houses for Borno, 4 for yobe, 8 for Maiduguri, 3 for Kaduna and like 12 for Gombe. As a bad sharp guy, I dey buy some of those properties like even N15,000 and people dey even beg me to buy from them.

If you gree for me, I go open shop for you in any of those regions wey you go dey sell tuwo chinkafa, zobo rodo and kunu.

E be like say I go employ on of the directors for KPMG or Arthur Anderson or even Rotimi Willaims, the way wey account no dey balance for this bar I no like am.

I go even buy cctv instal for here. Imagine last night the Vigilante people see SEUN and SEXKILLZ as dem jump fence come steal money for our vault.

If to employ Accountant and buy cctv too much, I go kuku hire Boko Haram boys make dem come dey guard this bar when we close.

Goldieluks: Where acid and co?
i need one bottle of dry gin.

See no ever call my name again if you enter this bar you hear me? Dey go meet my second.

You wey I say make I press you nyansh to see if e soft like your palm, you come dey shout on me in presence of all these drunkards.

Say I dey run bar no mean say I no go school oh!

mkpologwu: Bro welcome to Pains Paradise! Alternatively, welcome to hell! Except you can't see right before ur very eyes, or you see but can't talk, or see but can't understand ...!
They call us honey to fool us!

Not everyone needs satanic responses on their thread.

That you are from a broken home, and live in hell doesn't mean everyone was destined to be a saddist like you.

Imagine, Someone said he will rather go and buy a DANA Air ticket than watch the man speak.

Someone said he will rather go and buy a DANA Air ticket than watch the man speak.

I will rather even watch a Cartoon (even not being a cartoon person) than watch that man on my precious tv.

Can someone please send this link to Jonathan for him to face reality and see how much of irrelevance he is to the Nigerian populace.

Brite02: Barman don scam me, abeg assistant barman gv me 2 bottles of whisky make i carry go hauz go gv my visitors by monday i go balance u, u hear?

You no get job, you no dey sell market so how you wan take pay me on monday?

Dey go abeg. If you no get cash no dey come here again for credit.

born2fuck: " ant wey no dey hear words go follow deady body enter grave"I hope say I no go regret my entire life for future becos person wey okada man hit, wey stand up by himself and laugh say nothing do am and he hold hand, make una no follow im laughter, na inside im body he know say imself get injury and pain, Na so my case bi.

I bi pikin wey sabbi book before ex-girlfriend palava enter im life,love wa tin tin nearly kill me remain small but Baba God no gree,I bi holy holy before! becos of this babe wickedness,I turn devil by force

I bi date the babe for 3 yrs, 2004-2007,na suffering and smiling bi di 3 yrs relationship. na so so money I dey dropped to her like person wey dey do contributors with alajo but no returns ,
if money no dey,na wahala day. Small broke come happened and money no gree come easily, the babe wey love me turn to my enemy. She say," she no wan si mi for her life again if I not fit take care of her, the result of my father christmas for 3 yrs land in vain, I land inside room over night begin cried quietly make mama no hear. Later I begin drink shayo with help of friends,where I graduate to iya alaje side begin take sepe join my beer and I bi dey take ciggar coole body join too and begins do ashewo tins,na there I sabbi 406,dragonaire,ipodo come graduate to page,pekers,sandra bars,jollyfriend make I no talk all names of them finish,all because I wan force myself forget dis babe patata patata, even a time, my brain go begin sing jingo funmi!jingo funmi!!her name nearly turn me to mad man,I go try wan call her beg but I stayed strong and take shayo killed thinking because I don beg many many times tire already. Everytin between me and dis babe finally end january 2007 which make me vexfully collect school form as new challenge

Extrance exam waka come and go,time waka join,I passed enter school by force becos of say I lose babe make me remember school again.
september 2007,I found new babe in school,God must be wonderful here becos I don think say I no fit see babe again for life when ex girlfriend dey wave me goodbye,a new babe come happen in just short term,small time go and come again, I begin bring the new girl for my area do yanga because she yellow like pawpaw! When news break inside my ex girlfriend ear say I don hammer new babe, na so she begin send text begs me!she flashed till she forced me break my sim card buy another one! She even come my house do begging!I no gree hear her anymore because her fry pan to fire don turn grass to grace for my life

As sadness go!happiness follow, dis new babe no dey ask money at all,instead make account full again , Na baba ijebu palava enter my life again O in 2010,cigar wey I dey smoke because of ex girlfriend stop,ashewo no gree stop but reduce badly while drink limit.

My new girlfriend bi dey warned me now make I no dey play lotto again as she caught me with lotto paper but ever since I don chop #24,000 with just #100, Na wire I dey wire #1000,#2000 on top daily or 2 to 3 weekly if broke small, I wire so tay run my bank account finish again the second time. I even joined site for facebook group"Baba Ijebu pay me my dough"maybe that group member go helep me collect lost money back, I played their number, I no gree chop, later ashewo reduce patapata for my life and no even fit drinks bear again like before but my mind no commot for lotto until I land inside hot water on saturday national,when I wan finalise lotto ,I lost #8000 to national with annoyance say I must chop all my money back by force,not even a single leg commot from all their bankers, result don land..Na total lost, my girlfriend bi dey warn me but I no dey gree hear words,I go hide paper her.I go use style play lotto and put paper for inner pocket,the amount wey I don lost entirely inside the lotto past #200,000 and I never chop reach #30,000. I should have stopped this tins but greedyness to double my 2400 times bi day kill me, because dem say if I stake 1000 # for 2 sure, na #240,000 bi dat, even me self don chop #24,000 with just #100 but na only once, one day I go chop na im I dey always think not knowing I am killing myself . why bad things full my blood.. Na me go bleeped ashewo, na me go drink , na only me don smoke for my family, Now Baba ijebu don kill me again after ex girlfriend palava but dis my new babe since 2007 still dey till I dey type..I hope say I no go lose the babe for my mess up,which kind life I dey self. Na im I dey think while writing dis to people, I bi don share my story many times but annoyance of yesterday lotto final make me type this to people, abi da devil dey push me self,I know no.even if I regret typing dis tommorow,- will never stop saying truth about me.believe me or not but pray for me on sunday for church tommorow and if you read this after church,pray for my life O

Eyah!
What a pity.
My only advixe for you na to look for rope and very tall tree make you hang yourself. At least make you kpai finish.







On a serious note, life isn't judged by our past mistakes or misfortuned it is basically judged by our present and those mistakes we made and learnt from.

Your drinking, smoking, womanizing and the rest can all be a thing of the past if you are willing to move to the positive side of life. With time the mistakes and soRrows of the past will all fade away.




Before then start thinking, talksing and acting postive.

Less I forget, start by changing your username.

Brite02: barman, wia u dey? I need 3 bottles of beer make i enter the spirit mode 4 church.. I hope say dos drunkard neva finish my balance..for d check wey i gv u?

The cheque bounce big time.
Na God say those people for the microfinance bank sabi me if not na wahala e for be.

Them say the check leaflet na stolen one and say you forge the signature of the account owner. Anyway sha dem don dey find you.

[quote author=adonisgold][/quote]No mind am, him come here come dey form whereas him papa na village teacher for Otukpro Oyiacha.

MsDarkSkin: LWKMD!!! @bolded/red

Blue is SOOOOO true though!!

Correct babe.
I know say you get sense well well and dey face fact. Other mumus dey vex say why you dey preach to dem.

Sit down make I give you shack. Wetin be your favorite brand?

egbeman1: How far the parole?

No worry.
I dey like straight forward and sincere people and you no come out clean.

Wetin dey to drop the thing you come dey give me nonsense condition say make I first add you. Either the whole yahns no be fact or you wan take pleasure in posting person.

Mynd_44: ^^
If Baba shoemaker win lottery, he is more likely to marry more wives with the money than invest it

But madam will first want to grab her own share on the lottery winings before others come in.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]All these story na for people wen get money, abi no be so? Will a Nigerian civil servant think of this nonsense? [/color]

Its possible oh!
She will take her own share from the N18,500 minimum wage.

Believe or not that money looks so huge to some people.

Mynd_44: Abi. Will a woman tell a shoemaker to sign a prenup?

*laugh don make me go do traffic warden ontop sea*

Mutee: After you.

Even though I dey collect money from people to help them fill form and write letter, I never help person fill Patient form for psychiatrist hospital before.

Beg 190 make him follow you. Na him specialty be that.

millinmax2: I beg madam na beer parlour be this..U go sit down for my side tonight?,,,,Acidtalk i don carry money come o me wan pay my debt make i come drink more.. Dj Play some music i beggy jare

The money never complete but I go manage this one for tonight.

Dj go play for one wake keep for kaduna. Dem say na Bomb kill the deceased. Na God go save us for this country.

edakedkay: Please my fellow NLders,help me out here because i do not know what to tell my friend,Derra.

Might be way out of context.
But I want to Strongly believe you are "Your Friend" and the girl in question.

Also what make me have the strong feeling that .......*lips sealed*

Beaf: Thread for fools by fools.

Don't you think you are the BIGGEST FOOL here for commenting?

If someone had told me what I saw tonight, I probably would have doubted it or thought it was a little exergerated.

Driving through the very 'mild' traffic on Akerele Road, in surrulere area of Lagos was something too surprising to be true.

Anyone who knows that Road will attest to the fact that after the construction, its well Lighted at night as the night lights are clearly visible making the whole area brighten up.

Back to the incidence, in that less than 2minutes traffic, a man came down from his Nissan SUV car and lo and behold this man was Urinating right on the main road using his car door so shield his nudeness. Before he could finish, the vehicles ahead started moving on for this man to wait till he finished before zipping up, entering his car, wasting a few minutes before driving off without an iota of remorse for his shameful act.

The question is when and how did Nigeria become so lawless?

Everything of Social, Moral and Spiritual values are no longer practised or termed important in Nigeria again.

Do we need the Military to come and help cleanse this country before its total collapse?