₦airaland Forum

Ogbakolo: Are we not paying for the sex? if as a woman you do not want sex then dnt want money too, we pay for sex we will both enjoy so the woman should equal pay for the aftermath of the sex. poor foolish girls

I guess girls brought such coments upon themselves. SMH. This is why I encourage girls to learn to be independent! May no guy ever talk about me like this!

vickyO: Nice post @ op


Abstinence is still the best form of playing safe.
Jeez, I rather abstain than bother myself with all these control methods, what if I forget to use it? what if the mood gets so intense and we lose control?
Any thing can happen when you're having sex. And the fact that it is done premaritally makes it a more delicate situation.


And as for the gullible 15 year olds, theirs is more like a sorry case.
How can a 30 year old man ask you for sex and you go ahead?

Any ways, I believe upbringing differs and exposure matters.

Just abstain from sex and you'll have no cause to worry about STDs.

Yea, I still maintain that abstinence is the best.

But for those girls, these men didn't just go 'oya come n spread those legs' lmao! At first it was love then the gifts now, these two things can make them feel comfortable with em then bam!!! Its come and visit me. Visitation enters something else. At first the girl will resist but then when the man forms vex, she'll think of losing him and give in.

And yea you're right, its also about home training and exposure. Thanks for the input...

Yay! Front page baybe... Thanks to our fine MOD Jaybee and all that made it happen.

[quote author=Mynd_44]When I make these comments, I am not talking about children who are taken advantage of by grown men who ought to be in jail but I am talking about adults who have brains but refuse to use them.

Would you tell me that a 20 year old girl does not know what's good for her? Yet they keep going for the wrong people. The guys who have no good intention and they come back to blame the guys who already have a mission and they accomplished it[/quote]I get your point but that's the kind of society we have. Sometimes I also wonder why girls make wrong choices. What I'm trying to do is to get rid of the 'use and dump' mentality. Truth is, the girls that cry actually allow themselves to be used.

But what of cases where a girl is an a long term relationship with a guy and he claims to love her? How is she to know that the guy is gon dump her after all is said and done?

[quote author=Mynd_44]so what is the problem with ladies? Inherent genetic stupîdity or what?[/quote]O jeez! Mynd easy jor no need of calling names. Like I said, some girls fall into the wrong hands early. I remember when I was still in secondary school, 15 year olds were already 'dating' 25-30 year old men! Now these old men were just taking advantage of them but how were they to know at that age? At such early stage you can make some girls believe any rubbish and I'm no psychologist but that can affect their reasoning. Our parents didn't even give us appropriate sex education, they just pretended that there was nothing like sex! So the problem isn't inherent stupiditty but rather lack of proper sex education.

@Sijo01 it worked for you but some girls fell into the wrong hands early in life( I almost did too sef). So moral education is not such a waste.

@ooh Mpa odinma o! You're welcome...

I guess we can only do so much because it takes one who wants to help herself to change. But I'm just tired of the blame games and the victim card and the nak£d swearing(this one is funny) and that's the purpose of the thread.

And I forgot to add that although pills are said to be harmless, I personally had a discussion with a medical practitioner and he said from what he has seen(his patients), pills can make a woman less fertile after long usage.

Just putting all the info I have here and you all are free to contribute.

[quote author=Mynd_44]What you should preach is that women should grow brains and be able to see through the antics of men who just wants to get between their thighs. They should be able to stop been drawn by the artificial glow of silliness they call attraction and use their brains more.[/quote]I thought as encouraging girls to 'grow brains' na. The thread is about girls taking responsibility for their lives. But you can help the ministry by expanding your contribution.

Pre-marital sex is not so evil, but why dont they insist the guy use protection or they themselves us protection? Forget birth control etc. There are too much risks in unprotected sex for people to be taking off their clothes at the slightest opportunity.

Girls should get smarter as this game is getting boring, guys use the same tricks and speeches and girls keep falling for those same tricks.

Note: By "girls" a mean a percentage not all

PMS might not be so evil but what results from it is what people don't want so to avoid the long chain of regrets it is approprriate to educate the ladies on the various options they have.

I agree with you that girls should insist that guys should use protection but this is about girls knowing that there are things they can also do to protect themselves.

I know the topic is weird but it is as a result of the various 'He's getting married to another after 10 abortions for him' threads all over the place.

Well, this is for my sisters but guys are free to contribute.

It is true that guys have managed to confuse us by saying things like 'sex is proof of love' and 'how do we know if we're sexually compartible' but we should be wise enough to know that these are lies. I mean, take a look at our parents who had no intimate experience, are they not living happily?

As a Christian, I'm an abstinence advocate but the purpose of this thread is not to push my beliefs on all girls as I know not every one is a Christian plus, some girls have chosen to have sex. Also, research has shown that abstinence only education does not prevent teenage pregnancy.

So to you who have decided to have sex, why are you getting pregnant? Yes this question is for the girls and I know you don't impregnate yourselves but with all the birth control methods available I'll say it is all you. And when you get pregnant why do you abort the baby? Yes, that's all you too. And when you abort these babies why do you expect the guys to still marry you? With all the 'quaks' in our society today, there is every reason to question your fertility after an abortion. And have you considered the health/life risks? Guys might tell you 'if you love me you'll abort the baby' because they are not affected in anyway and quite frankly they don't care but we should learn to prevent the pregnancy from occuring.

As long as you are not married, live for YOU and you alone
Now, there are a number of birth control methods which include:

•Hormonal contraceptives which inhibits fretilization and are in form of oral pills, implants under the skin, injections, patches, IUDs and a vaginal ring.

•Barrier contraceptives which attepts to stop prenancy by preventing sperm from entering the uterus and they include female condoms, cervical caps, diaphragms, and contraceptive sponges with spermicide.

•Pull out method and fertility awareness. The pull out method is known and self explanatory and fertility awareness methods involve determining the most fertile days of the menstrual cycle and avoiding unprotected intercourse. NB. These are the least effective methods according to research.

Of all these methods, abstinence is the only one proven to be 100% effective . And it is advised to use more than one method.
There is nothing 'casual' about sex ma girls and naked curses don't work . Remember, guys have only semen(which will be replenished) to lose. Let's take charge of what happens to us and put away the victim card!
Say no to PMS
Say no to unprotected 'casual' sex
Say no to STDs and STIs
Say no to unwanted pregnancy
Say no to abortion!!!

I know most of us here are learned and might already know these things but also try to educate others around you.

To learn more you can conduct your own reseach online or head to any health care center.

Happy new year!

Source: me and wikipedia.

Vivly: Nah. We're starting a new semester.

I'm guessing you're in Unical?

To think I've not been here b4.

jimmy4x: I'm inviting Adaeze003: she gonn be here soon #ihope

Lol, I see ya but I can't woo a guy to save my life wha am I gon say? Hehe... I'll just watch Nomskio n co do their thing.

Dannylux: Adaeze003, Hi.

Hi hi I see an army ready to woo you

Didn't read all that BS but all I gat to say is 'look who's talking!'
Mtcheew

[quote author=Mynd_44]You people are so petty[/quote]!

Pics or it didn't happen.

HNY!!!

Dannylux: You seem to be a mid night person?

What did you mama give you?

Happy New Year.

Happy new year dear.

Lol @ mid night person, been away o no network in me villa...

Happy birthday and New year! Where's the party @?? Wanna shake wha my mama gave me

What a coincidence that this happened amidst all the open letters to crushees.

Ok, a girl went to church without panties n bra You laid hands on her and she fell, you continued n her skirt was raised(believable) then the shirt pulled off too You went hard and no1 noticed

Cool story brah...

The list is very true but I've seen it before so that's by the way.
My only concern is, why do guys shout up and down saying 'its a man's world' blah blah blah. I mean, if it's truly a man's world, why do you have to remind us all the freaken time Its like dangote going around screaming 'I am rich' makes no sense rii? Lol... Insecurity can kill sha.

Didn't read all that but from those I know personally, the nice ones are getting married.

2buff: That would be your fault wouldn't it?
Before you say yes, you don't judge a long-term mate based on just how they treat you, but by how they treat others as well.
Because when all the hormones wear off, you might become one of those "others" to each other, if not worse.

You would have picked up those traits from him while you were dating....assuming that wasn't even the part of him you liked, or if you weren't too busy dulling your senses with premarital knacking.

Very few things are surprises. Your saying yes to the ring isn't just some romantic obligation because "that's how its done in the movies". It's you saying you can live with the perceived faults of the person.

Lol @ bold. They must always find ways to put em cheap blows. Mtcheew.

You didn't get my point. I was only trying to stress the fact that to some of us, humility is also required from men with that illustration.

And mr, giving a girl a ring is not just some romantic obligation because 'that's how its done in movies'. It is saying that you can live with the perceived faults of the woman! Or is it only guys that have faults? You expect girls to be perfect yet you want them to accept your imperfection? Btw, no one is perfect.

@koyes I agree with you 100%
And op talked of respect also forgetting that respect is reciprocal and earned. Why does every thing have to be one sided with guys? You want to be respected when you don't respect her? Smh! Such topics should be treated both ways and not to come here and tell us what guys require/ want. What about what we require/want?

Otseh: He's lying.

Infact many of the men on this thread are lying about how there are so many single ladies, how it is 6 women to one man, how there are women of 30 and above in their church etc etc because they want women to panic and think that they have to settle for less and put up with any man that comes their way so they don't end up alone.

There are many single women fine;
There are also single men.

I don't know why nairaland men want to kill themselves over the issue of single women in nigeria. Every day single women this, single women that.
Una no dey tire?
Are the single women complaining to you abi why have you decided to carry their matter on your head?

Don't mind them. Looking for who to intimidate by saying stuff like 'when you're 35 come back' and 'we are the ones to marry girls'. Yes, a man will find a girl to marry with a dirty attitude but NOT every girl and probably not a humble girl. You'll find em pretenders and 'I must marry this year' girls that will tear you after 'I do'. Lmao

So, say I'm humble and I marry a guy that is not/less humble how do I correct him? Or is it only girls that need correction? Its a two way thing no matter how you put it. A man who's pride preceeds him is just a huge turn off as a woman also.

Over to deejay_harry1

Pls, you guys should stop putting sand in the op's garri! He is in love.

^^ this is a bf thread...

Dry love

Danhumprey: Ask yourself this question: do you cherish your job more than your marriage/relationship?


I guess feminism is really eating deeper and deeper into you ladies.

Come on na... Will you leave a meating just to talk to your gf or wife? The guy made good points but that one no follow. Btw, in most houses the reverse is the case sef. A guy will leave is premier league n UEFA for a lady to watch E! Or style? Lol

Why does this write up sound like a reason men cheat? Smh... #like say guys no dey commit#

Lol... B4 I say thanks and you be like 'its not you' coz I'm sure there's another adaeze on here.


Is it just me or are tpia's comments always weird? O well...

alutacontinua: If u look at my first post, classy is 'when it's within your limits'. A classy girl doesn't need you to be shopping her things for her! She has her money, she works hard for it and she's ready to spend it. The problem most pple have is dt dey associate 'classy nd ill-mannered'! Dt's just poverty mentality. 'Rude' is not a function of whether you're classy or not! Have you seen how rude some street-hawkers can be? Trust me, it all boils down to inferiority complex in the end. There are 'big', sweet and nice ladies. If they're too much for a guy to afford, nd he cannot just let her accept him for who he is (the truth is these ladies mostly don't mind, it's y'all dt over-think things), then, waka pass but don't expect a lady to throw away her iPhone 5 and buy BB curve because she wants you to approach her!

Couldn't have said it any better. They just don't gerrit. They don't even believe that they can sustain a relatship without spending heavily. Sheesh...

And uhm @ nonso, what you described up there is what I term 'young wild and free' if my dad sees that type he'll wonder if 'obere ara(small madness)' is disturbing him. Lmao! That's not even flashy talk less of classy. Lmao @ player alert. The players I know are smooth... As aluta said, the word flashy is used wrongly here. The op said 'I dress normally with a touch of class' so if a guy well scented, nice ride, designer clothing and an s4(which is the guy equivalent of the op and not what you described there) walks up to me, why on earth won't I get to know him? And if he turns out to be a player, what will stop me from leaving? Guys need to grow balls jor and stop all the 'what if 3k won't be enough' talk. Not all classy girls are gold diggers and runs girls. I rest my case(again)

I think I've made all my points clear enough. If you don't understand where I'm coming from then pele. I'm so tired of this argument that I didn't even finish reading your response. Peace out...