₦airaland Forum

@ GB once your wife is 8 weeks then demand for a referral.

@otosdd yes im back ooo. Everything is going great i have started to expand my clinic to include a full lab and also xray. This expansion has been keeping me really busy and thats why i have not been on here much.

enaye1: If you can help it wait till your baby can tell you how her day went before sending her anywhere.

Yes! I can wait thats what im gonna do

Thanks all

Congratulations to all the new mother and fathers int he house. to all the new members welcome i will update the front page.

@ GB i am very sorry for your loss, you post made me cry and i was truel sad for your family. THe truth of the matter is that local hospitals with local doctors do NOT understand high ris pregnancy. To me it sounds like your wife also has IC which is incompetent cervix. Which i also have i went through 2 trans vaginal stitch in my last pregnancy and my son was still born early. So its a condition that i understand and know to well. In this condition women are prone to loose babies int he secound trimester and also the cervix opens without feeling any pain or discomfort. Which from what i read happened in your case. Look your wife is incredibly high risk in pregnancy like myself. If you choose to have more children i beg you take her to the specialist, where i delivered my son is one of the most advanced hospital in Canada. I had pre eclamsia, incompetent cervix and gestational diabetes all @ 19 weeks gestation. My regular obgyn could not handle all my problems so he sent me to the periontologist, at that hospital they did another stitch on me @ 24 weeks gestation.I was also hospigitlized until i delivered by CS by another dr. who is also a scientist. These doctors dont miss a thing at these hospitals they are truely the best of the best. My pariontologist told me next pregnancy @ 8 weeks i should come to see him and forget about the obgyn as they cannot deal with my issues. What i am trying to say is the doctors at teh local hospital are clueless when it comes to complications in pregnancy. Do your research and find the advanced hospitals in your area or demand to be referred to them once your wife gets pregnant. Her pre pregnacy hypertension should be reason enough and also IC should not be suspected. I am praying and sending healing energy to your family.
@AC please also probe incompetent cervix i am sorry for your loss, next pregnancy please let the Dr. know about your history.
@ camry 5 months omg keep banking your lo mommy
@kebiru congrats and tell your wife to join our thread
@ mogoboyma raspberry tea i know what you up to woman your not fooling me
@ diamond thanks for keeping the thread going, how are you doing these days

@ all i missed updating the htread the clinic got me real busy these days my little boy celebrated his 2 year birthday yesterday

chaircover: I agree with the idea to get someone to help you when you are busy in the clinic; like his own nanny that you can keep an eye on and are both not too far away from you.

lol i like this idea very much.

ifyalways: Abeg better and quality creches full naija, its only a matter of cash.

Cash is not the problem here at all i have heard of the schools over here the expats send their kids upwards of 50-60k USD per year and thats ok once he reach the age for school i assume its 4 years old they officially start over here, but im not sure. Anyhow i will keep him with me and hire someone to come to the office in the day with me so i can keep an eye on him and her, but thats as far as i can go

As CC said this age he is at is very sweet let me enjoy it now. Pretty son he gonna be a rebellious teenager and ill need these memories to see me through those years.

Thanks all

@ rich you are right as always. So many people are looking for children and in my clinic i see them everyday. I even offer treatments that help women to get pregnant and beleive me when these women come in they tell me their entier life story whole heartedly, stories that include women looking to have a child after multiple miscarriages, low spe.rm count, some already have children and trying to have more but cant seem to get pregnant. I can go on and on about it but i won't. My clinic has humbled me so much in really appreciating my family both my son and his father. I see these women come into the clinic and fall in love with my son everyday, so when i come home and talk to hubby i can see how lucky i am and truely blessed for the family i got. I guess as the clinic is getting busy now i was feeling overwhelmed. But for the time being i wont let him out of my sight .

@ jk i do know that engaging with other kids will help in his growth and development, but i will hold off for a while if this was Canada i would be nervous about daycare at this age but OMG this is Nigeria so im like on the fence, i decided to allow his speech become more developed then ill revisit this idea.

Thank you all for you input i truely appreciate it

@ Rich you are right he is indeed still a baby and he needs me. I think the best i can do is hire someone that can look after him while i work, so that person can come to the office with me and just feed him and tend to his needs. until he is older.

@chaircover well i agree with you completely about him starting daycare once he can communicate and tell me every detail about his day. I think if i start him in a few more years it will be better because my anxiety will be greatly reduced. I was thinking of putting him in one of those so called affluant schools, but after reading your post i dont think thats a good idea. To find a place where they truely love children more than money in this Nigeria well i think it may be close to impossible.

@ Ronke girl you in the USA oooo, i got to contemplate this real hard over in this neck of the bush. , i can say i ain't even close to ready for this seperation so let me post an ad for nanny in the day wanted

Hi all,

Just wanted some advice about putting my son into daycare. He is turning 2 tommorrow and i think its time i start him in a day program. Like i was thinking about bringing him by 10 am and picking him up by 1 pm. I am incredibly nervous about this and it really makes me sick to my stomach to think about leaving him in someone else's hands. To make matters worse i really dont know about the standard of care young children receive in day programs in this Nigeria. Can someone please advise on how to cope with this transition. How can i make it easier on my son who is incredibly clingy and also on myself. Only people that want to give mature advise should respond.

thanks

goooooooooooooo italiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaa

@ op very nice post indeed

They should go, let Sudan be an example.

Just wanted to know if anyone has any information on the subsidy being removed again. We are getting new @ our petrol station that the government only agreed to continue the subsidy for 6 months back in January 2012 and now the time has elapsed. Can any one provide more insight.

@ op what you are doing is right. Your pastor is not giving you good advice. YOur son needs to know the value of money and how you are going about it is correct. Please dont stop, the only thing you need to stop doing is listening to that pastor. Probably wants you to not give the kid money so you can increase your weekly offering.

nothing wrong with the pic, today my hubby was washing the dishes as i was bathing our son. People should move into the modern ages and stop thinking so primative.

hi all

so much to catch up on i promise to update the thread this weekend ttyl

PrettyCindy: I hope he comes around o! The funny thing is that if at all he is going to accept a spoon, i will have to make a demonstration of me eating a spoon first and this has to go on all through yet he won't eat more than 1 or 2 spoons. Hmmn, i guess its part of the motherhood experience and am loving it.

Dont worry from 2 spoons he will grauduate to 3 then 4 and so on. With these kids its a learning process and you have to take time with them. But their sweet loving face makes up for all the trouble in my books.

they are not married and they have no kids. SHE NEEDS TO RUN AWAY FROM HIM REAL FAST!!!!!

too bad for them.

@ post

good for her

@ op i am not sure where you are located but i never gave my son anything for teething except his frozn ice cold toy to soothe the gums. I was told by a medical professional that medications such as baby ambusol can do more harm than good. Its a popular medication in Canada. The problem with the drug is that it works to well, it freezes the gums and can also make the tongue numb so it can fall back in teh through and block the airway. The best thing to do is to not medicate for teething issues. Dont worry about your baby when they need you they will let you know. Those little people are very good @ that.

@ op i am glad to hear your mother is ok

Cindy your son is still very young and he is not ready to be weaned. Your little guy seems to want to follow the blw (baby lead weaning) protocol. Please go along with him once he is ready he will begin to eat solids and will loose interest in the breast. Dont force him he is still getting enough from teh breast. WHO ( world health organization) actually promotes strictly breast feeind till 6 months then you can gradually introduce, rice cereal etc. My son hated everything but the breast also, but i took my time with him, I tried rice cereals when he was 6 months also yogert etc. He eventually began to like them but this process took months. I think he was almost one year befor he actually stated to eat solids. Now he is gonna be 2 in a few weeks and he still does not eat hard food im still blending his foods. He wont eats rice that is not pureed I am once again taking my time and hope he will soon adapt. Remember not to stress him out with your anxiety about his eating habits.

very nice pics

awoloto: ITOLDU
THANKS for your kind words.as I have said , I have made my decision . I pray that in ur time of need , no one will judge u or jump to conclusions. Thank you anyway.for your comments.
Thank u to all who responded. I will not post again. I have made a decision .
I have faith in God and my faith has been renewed. Nothing is impossible.
Could she be lying? -polyester? Pls read my posts well.
Only God knows and only he will ever know.
It helps to talk and to give a fuller picture , and I will be doing just that.but not on this forum. God bless you all .( this is my last post here, purpose served)
One gai thanks for your post!

all the best, hope to hear you happy news in the near future on whatever you decide to do.

Onegai: Hey, dear, firstly, big hug to you. Sometimes we forget that people became parents and stop treating them like people because they have kids. So,that hug is sometime I'd give a friend, and it's for you.
Secondly, your husband is unhappy. Trust me, only an unhappy person will start a fight and reduce you to tears. TRUST ME, he's as UNHAPPY as you are, and he's taking it out on you. It doesn't matter if he's cheating, that's not important. Don't even try and find out if he is or isn't. His cruel behaviour could be a result of guilt over his bad actions, because that's how people are.
I heard this white lady once, who said something "in my home, my hubby comes first, because my kids are gonna grow up and have a life". Naija mamas, they focus too much on their kids, then the child marries and they don't know how to let go (hence wicked mama-in-law) because they get jealous of the person who has taken the love of their life away. Do you want to be like that? because I'm trying to settle my sis-in-law and my mum's fight and I wish my mum was busy, she wouldn't have time for this.
Your man will be buried beside you, not your kids. Prioritize him, your home is unhappy because you both are unhappy and that hurts the kids.
So, what to do? Pray, ask God for strenght. The beauty of Esther, the romance of Songs of Solomon (read that book!), the patience of Job.
Then, take yourself shopping, look good, not trendy, good. Form-fitting dresses (no trousers) and skirts, highheels (not the nonsense platform akpola that's popular, but simple cute styles), get your hair done, put on some pink lipgloss, not red. Get a hobby, like join a cooking school, sewing class, french, swim, tennis, SOMETHING that sha gets you out of the house that isn't work, church, wedding, family. You need to be relaxed and happy and laughing for no reason. Let him notice this happiness. Start wearing one of his tshirts to bed at night, nothing under. You need to seduce him back to your side. Ask him for advice, discuss small politics and listen to him more. Particularly if it concerns his business, the idea is to get him talking. Desdemona seduced Othelo by the way she listened. Challenge him a little, show your brains in a clever manner (like a small business, so he remembers how awesome you were when he met you). All this takes hard work. Do casual touching (eg on your way to the kitchen, absently touch his shoulder), wear perfume. Then when you get him back to your bed, slowly begin to make him open up. No harsh angry words! Just be welcoming and open.

Well said men show their anger and hurt in different ways so the lashing out and being nasty can very well be his coping mechanism.

jp philips: watch his best friend closely, your hubby is *GAY*

are you remotely serious

wow so much has happened ont eh board, its even more informative than before. Ill be joining you ladies next month. Still on my break

Sweetie please dont do anything harsh, you are still young and have a wonerful future ahead of you. You know its difficult not having anyone to talk to or anyone that understands what you are going through. Do you have an aunt or uncle that you can relate to an adult in your life that you can talk to? I beailve the bullies in your school are jealous of you because of your good grades and now you lost all that weight, you will be getting girlfeirnds dont worry about kissing a girl beacuse you have plenty of time. As a teenager i was also very depressed but i grew out of it. Bow i am older with my own family now and that is something you have to look forward to the world is not all that bad. So dont hurt yourself please. If you ever want to talk email me at agiboma@gmail.com

take care

awoloto: There has been no infidelity,when i say he knows i wont leave him, i mean that he knows my views about children having to be brought up in broken homes. I was a product of that too, and its not plesant at all. yes theres a lot that is not being said, but i have been a dutiful caring wife and wonderful mother to my four children.

he is simply nasty and abusive towards me, and reduces me to tears on a daily basis.

Yes. I too am the product of a broken home and i vowed to myself i will stick it through so my son does not grow up fatherless. I moved to Nigeria permanently after having my son. I left all my family in my home country. So i to have a great value for children growing up with both mother and father, to me their is simply no comprimise.

About the abuse, i did not know he was abusive, even though its emotional abuse it still hurts. Can you communicate with him and ask him why he is being so nasty.

If you can take time for yourself and try to put your mind together, try meditation if you can it helped me to center my thoughts.

Richvkunt: I for one have decided to give the family section a wide berth until there is an improvement in the biased moderation going on there.
It appears some posters can get away with blue murder,while others are less favored.
Now a days I just browse through the now drab and boring family section but try to restrain myself from commenting.
Right now I would say I find the religion section quite illuminating.
Sports section is also okay.

lol, drop by on my pregnancy thread in the health section, seems to be the only thing that is keeping me on NL these days

it was a great game both teams played well

IT OVER