ibinaboonline:
Prenup or not, if I was in that man's shoes and she actually gave me children, she can take everything. No amount of money will convince some women to kiss, talk less of making love and babies for him.

I believe in this 21st century you must have heard of test tube babies or surrogacy.

That man wants true love and not babies. Unfortunately, he has to settle with what his money can buy.

Shalom

Nobody actually wants to travel abroad. Na condition make us dey Japa. If a dollar or pounds exchanges at 50kobo today, you will discover that most Nigerians will just return home.

All these people going abroad for masters is just a route to make money for themselves.

Have you every heard the US citizens are leaving their country to go and work in the UK?? Infact most citizens of the US live and die in the same city they were born. That's why they think that Africa is a country.

Shalom.

What money cannot do, more money go do am.
Let's tell ourselves the truth, if that man were to be poor, that lady will not even look at him.

I hope the man has a Prenup or will sha, that lady might just poison him, inherit his wealth and spend it with someone else.

If you disagree with me, just search within your heart, do not lie to yourself and you will discover I'm speaking the truth.

Shalom

If money grew on trees, women would date monkeys.
It is not right to beat your wife. It is better to withdraw your financial support or starve her of sex( just like women do to simps) than to hit her.

Men, this explains the life of women. Once money is involved, women would not mind being your slave. A women prefers 10million naira that you give to her than working to make 20million naira.

#sayNotoviolence.
#SayYestononviolence

Shalom

Court marriage is to the detriment of the man. If you must do a court marriage, get your wife to sign a BULLETPROOF PRENUP or WILL every possession you have or may have SECRETLY to your mum or dad.

#Hakimi

Shalom

OP answer these questions honestly
1) Does your father spend his money on Drinking and smoking/drugs?
2) Does your father womanize?
3) Is he hardworking?
4) Does he provide anytime he has the money?
5) Does he gamble away any money he makes?

If he does not engage in any of those negative vices I mentioned, then the truth is that he doesn't truly have money.

Don't kill your father before his time.

Also, your mother's job is not just to pop out children. She should be very involved in training them too. Don't heap all the responsibilities on the man.

You have done your best by providing part of the money.

Shalom.

My advise to this man is as follows
1) Don't ever sell your source of income to send your wife abroad.
2) Always know that she is in love with what you provide and not your personality.
3) Plan for your retirement, as you go out daily to provide for your family, remember you are part of that family and provide for yourself too.
4) If your wife places conditions before she sleeps with you, please place more stringent conditions before you provide.
5) Be prepared to walk away once the marriage no longer serves your purpose, your wife will walk away at the slightest opportunity. Don't worry about the kids, when they grow up they will understand.
6) Marriage is a world institution so be prepared to treat your marriage as such.
7) Your marriage should be transactional, anyday she relegates in her duties as a woman, you are justified to relegate in your own duties as a man.
Be formless like water, never be predictable.
9) Never let your wife draw you away from your parents or siblings. If you die, she will be more interested in the properties you left behind.
10) IT IS NOT YOUR DUTY TO PROVIDE LUXURY OR SOFT LIFE FOR YOUR WIFE. IF SHE WANTS ANY OF THOSE, SHE SHOULD GET A JOB.
11) If your wife works, please ensure that she contributes 50% of her earnings to the family needs. Don't say a man must provide EVERYTHING.

Lastly, I pray she is a GOOD AND KIND person and may Your marriage work out.

N:B Do not think I have given you bad advice, my aim is to ensure that you are not on the loosing side of this romantic transaction.

Shalom

If your relationship is premised on the condition that you give your girlfriend monthly allowance, then you are just dating a prostitute.

These days, women have succeeded in making the world think that sleeping with a guy should be the sole decision of women. If she says No then it's a No.

If men begin to exchange the favors and everything they do for women on the condition that you sleep with her then that will be a fair exchange.

A woman is looking for a job and the employer says unless you sleep with me before I give you job, I know Simps and women will frown at that.

If women had the opportunity men have, the male species would have been slaves.

Religion aside, as a man, if you feel that the payment you want before doing any favour for a women is sex, then please demand for sex before you help her out.

Also men should prioritize helping men out instead of women.

The only thing playing tricks to the male mind is the stockpile of sperm in your scrotum. As soon as you cum, you come back to your senses.

Shalom

No matter the situation, never marry a single mother.
If she was a good woman, her ex would not get her pregnant and leave her ( except in the case of death of her legally married husband).

Even single mothers usually advise their sons not to marry a single mother when he grows of age.

Shalom

A man is mandated to provide for his family. A man is not mandated to provide LUXURY for his family. A man is not also mandated to create a soft life for his wife. If the woman wants luxury and soft life, she should go and work.

Do not put men or be allowed to be subjugated into civil slavery known as marriage. If your hands can provide only garri for your family, by all means do that.

Men, don't be scared, no matter how much you earn in life, there is always a woman for you. Afterall you are giving her what she is incapable of giving to herself.

Shalom

People have this preconceived notion that their husband or wife is infallible. That's really childish. The idea of loving someone is to understand that this person will hurt me from time to time and I will be always ready to forgive him/her from time to time.

Stop being decieved that the person you choose to marry will never hurt/disappoint you. If that's the case, then there is no need for marriage vows.

OP your husband has not really committed any sin/crime against you. You just saw a search history and not actually the act. I bet you too must have fantasized about someone other than your husband in the 10 years of your marriage. The difference is evidence.

Shalom

Nigeria is a complex society.

It is wrong that a married man slept with a 16year old girl. However, if the man was not aware of her age, or he did not forcefully lure her to bed, then that's a new perspective.

You see, parents do not properly explain the dangers of premarital/underage sex to children. They tie every form of explanation to religion. The truth is that, underage sex is bad because it basically distorts the chances of having a bright future particularly for the girl child.

The man has 50% of the blame while the girl has 50% of the blame.

Since the girl is young, I encourage the parents to stand by her, give her Encouragement, give her support, give her a shoulder to lean on so that she will not feel dejected and abandoned.

Shalom

Family is all we've got.

Don't let anybody decieve you, once a person is under your roof, you have that responsibility to take care of them. This is why before you take a person under your roof, make sure you are able to carter for his/her basic needs if not, kindly tell them you are not yet ready for that responsibility.

It's a different thing if the person expects you to provide luxury for them.

OP, your brother owes you accommodation, Healthcare, feeding and transport. People should stop sounding smart by saying nobody owes you nothing. It's dumb, we all owe ourselves some kind of responsibility.

Having said that, you also owe your brother respect, running errands without any form of grudge, taking care of the house, wash his clothes, manage his business as if it is your own, obedience, cooking etc.

You see, nobody is an island, we all need each other and the paradox of life doesn't work in the theory of "the eldest son/sibling will forever be the wealthiest or the backbone of the house". These days, God can bless anybody and he may choose to bless you over your brother tomorrow. Remember the story of Joseph and David.

Shalom

Children are like hot metal, the way you shape them is the way they turn out in future( at least 90%of the time).

Most fathers were harsh because they wanted their kids to turn out well. That does not mean they felt hatred for their wife or kids, they wanted to get it right.

I still advise anyone reading this, don't be soft with your kids especially during their formative years. Be firm and strong, that way you will raise children with home training.

Do you know that some of the negative things you don't do today is basically because you have home training??

This is why a dysfunctional family(family without a father or mother) is a menace to the society.

I love my dad because he made me into a real man. No womanizing, no drinking, no smoking, follow all men with goodwill.

Shalom

Eve don talk her own side of the story, let's wait to hear from Adam.

Before you judge, make sure the girl is not billing this guy.

Most times, guys can be irrational especially when they have spent money during the so called talking stage.

Being a single mother can only be excused on two occasions
1) The death of a husband, in this case you are not a single mother but a widow
2) Divorce on the premise that your legitimate husband is beating you up.

Any other condition is just not acceptable. Children should be birthed in marriage. What do you expect from having sex with a man who is not your husband and when you get pregnant you begin to feel bad for being called a single mother?
If you were a good woman, the man who got you pregnant will do everything possible to legitimize the union.
Stop seeking for sympathy when you become a single mother and stop blaming men for leaving you when you become pregnant.

Shalom

neyobills:



The mentality of your likes about single mothers is surprising to me,single mothers are people with flesh and blood like you,they might have made mistakes,everyone does,however their kids are also blessings in the disguise if properly nurtured,that single mother you are saying is equivalent to a lunatic yen yen yen might be the mother of a Nobel prize winner or a billionaire tomorrow,there are lots of single mothers I know doing very well financially that they might not even care to get married again afterall they have kids already just get a toy boy to play and enjoy life.

Children should be birthed within the confines of marriage. Stop advocating for rubbish. I'm not attacking the single mothers themselves. I'm only against the act of birthing children outside marriage. ERROR HAS NO RIGHT, BUT THE MAN/WOMAN IN ERROR HAS SOME RIGHT.

With this your mentality, young girls will feel that birthing children outside marriage is good.

Stop premarital sex. Stop accepting money or financial aid from men. Stay stay chaste until you get married.

A large majority of the dysfunctional people you see today lack the presence of either parents while growing up.

If you like, encourage your sister's or daughters to become single mothers and then tell them that the kids may likely become noble prize winners tomorrow.

Jovialjune1:



I wish this type of proposal for your daughter, that is, when she's 29 and a single mother, so that you can preach to her to be grateful because she is valueless.

Victim mentality.
Tell me what is good and honorable in being a single mother(except a widow). When you hoe around during your prime, you expect a man who has worked his ass off to come and marry you as a single mother. What happened to marrying the father of your child?.

A single mother is equivalent to mentally retarded broke man. The same way you view such men is the same way men view single mothers.

Avoid premarital sex, avoid collecting any form of material or financial help from a man. That way you will be young and pure and men cannot give such conditions as stated by the OP.

Women should understand that their value decreases as they age. Men seek to marry valuable women. A 29 year old single mother should be grateful to get this kind of deal. If roles were reversed, women would not settle for a low value man.

Men should begin to view marriage as transactional. Women view marriage are transactional.
That being said, Functional families should strive to raise high value kids.

Shalom

People often think that the Red Pill 💊 is designed to maltreat women. That is absolutely wrong. The real definition of Red pill 💊 is "WHEN DEALING WITH A WOMAN, ACT LIKE A MAN BUT THINK LIKE A WOMAN"

Shalom

There is nothing wrong with that apartment whatsoever. I will give you reasons.

An apartment like this in Lekki or VI will cost around 1.5m

The same 1.5M can get you a well furnished 3 bedroom flat in Ajah, or the Mainland.

Now, that same 1.5M can pay your rent for 5years in more than 25 states in Nigeria.

Also, most people living abroad rent places like this and they pay so much money.

Kings, never be discouraged or feel bad when women try to broke shame you. Why will you feel bad when someone is broke shaming you for the same thing they are incapable of providing for themselves?


After Social media/Nairaland forum, we all go back to face our realities.

Shalom.

Women have the ability to coin words and phrases that is capable of manipulating the male ego. Most of their words and phrases have entirely different meaning.

According to women, A God fearing man is a financially stable man who practices sexual exclusivity with just one woman. There is nothing women love more than being rich and sexually exclusive to them alone.

Women forget that lack of money reduces the amount of Women available to a man while the presence of money increases the amount of women available to a man.

Men, don't be a woman's definition of God fearing, rather strife to be a man who lives life on his own terms.

Shalom

No sex before marriage=No spending of money whatsoever before marriage.

As women keep their body holy before marriage, men should also keep their money until after marriage so that they can use it to properly take care of their family.

This means that the girl should never sleep with the guy no matter the reason and the guy should not spend a dime no matter the reason.

Furthermore, after the wedding, anyday the woman says "I'm not in the mood" the man should also withdraw every form of financial provision, security and house chores until the day the wife gets in the mood.

Everything about marriage is transactional.

Shalom

You see, women are emotional beings and relationships deeply relies on emotion. For context purpose, a girl of 15 years of age will most likely be able to emotionally manipulate a guy of 25years of age. This is because, while men devolope in size and strength, women develope in emotions. Hence the reason why a girl of 15 years can get married but a guy of 25 years of age will most likely not be interested in marriage.

The solution to your problem can be explained thus:
1) In any kind of human interaction, whether romantic or not, the person who invests more has more to loose and therefore he/she has the lower hand.
2) No matter who is involved, never apologise when you are not guilty.

Point number one is self explanatory. If two men invest 60k and 40k respectively, the man who invested 60k will most likely want the business to succeed at all cost even if it means doing some illegal things to ensure the success of the business.

On the other hand, the man who invests 40k may most likely not stress too much and will leave the tedious work for his colleague because he knows that his colleague will have to work extra hard to ensure the business bears fruit. This is the simple reason why majority share holders in any organization are made the CEO because they have invested more than others and therefore they are willing to grow the organization. If the organization grows, they benefit more, and if the organization makes a loss, they loose more.

Your girlfriend understands this concept and going by what you have written, you obviously invest more in that relationship and this is why your gf has the guts to demand an apology no matter who is wrong.

The day you will begin to enjoy that relationship is the day you stand up for yourself and call her bluff. If it means loosing her, then so be it. But NEVER apologise when you are not wrong. Behave like a man.

Shalom.

The lady got what she deserves.

She collected an initial transport fare from the guy and she didn't turn up.

The guy invited her and decided to pill this one over her. I congratulate the guy for shaming the girl this way.
You don't go about collecting money from people if you know you wouldn't show up. That's fraud. The problem is that there is no ready judgement for girls who do this.

Men should know that women who behave like leeches should not be respected. They see you as their meal ticket. The day you cannot provide money, they look for the next maga.

And for the record, there is nothing childish about this guy's act.

When women want to manipulate you, the attack your ego with such things as
- You are not a real man
-You are a boy
-you are not mature.

Shalom

It's is morally wrong to deny people the right to secually express themselves the way they want. Why does everyone feel that a man having more than one sexual partner is wrong. In life, we all want variety of things we can afford. Women want variety of clothes, shoes, bags, even children and no one says "Oh it is financially wrong to have more than one bag or shoe or to eat more than one type of food because it leads to money wastage".

Once it concerns marriage/relationship, everyone wants a man to stay with one woman irrespective of the fact that he may want some type of variety.

Before Christianity came to Africa, men married according to how many women they can take care of. It is said that a man should provide for his family but never was it said that a man should provide LUXURY for his family. Women know that the share of finances they will get to fund their luxurious lifestyle automatically reduces when a man has more than one woman/wife and that is why the do everything possible to enforce sexual exclusivity.

Polygamy is a way of life. Do not demonize it. A man owes nobody any explanation if he decides to mate/marry more than one wife.

The truth is that most women are actually more interested in a man's provision rather than in the man himself. This is why in a case of divorce they always ask for half of the wealth the man has personally accumulated.

Men, your wealth is their target. It doesn't matter how much you have. 100k is still wealthy to a woman who has never had 10k in her life. 10 million is still wealth to a woman who has never had 50k in her life. Don't let them broke shame you. Deep down, women know I always speak the truth. I'm always on the side of truth.

Shalom

As a man, it is morally wrong to keep such a sensitive issue away from the woman you want to marry. One of the pillars of marriage is for procreation. Infact, the major reason why people marry is to procreate in such a way that origin or genealogy of a child can be legally traced throughout history.

It is a different issue if the man became impotent after the wedding. In such a case, I advice the couple to adopt a child or go for the less moral option of looking for a sperm donor.

But just know that adoption gives legal backing to a child while sperm donation is just to pacify the woman's ego that she must bear a child biologically.

Shalom

I think Christianity brought about cheating. Cheating is a term used to describe having sexual relationship outside of a defined union.

Naturally, women prefer sexual exclusivity with a man who is capable of taking care of her financially. They don't practice sexuall exclusivity with poor man. On the other hand, poor men practice sexual exclusivity while rich men don't like sexual exclusivity. It is evidently clear by this analysis that women originated the term cheating.

If I'm broke as a man, my women would prefer to sleep around with men who are more financially stable than I'm, then what gives her the right to prevent me from sleeping with more women when/if I have the means to do that?

This is nature, there is nothing like cheating. Women call it cheating because they don't want men to practice polygamy. In reality, every man wants polygamy, it is the women folk who want monogamy because they want to monopolies the resources a man has all to themselves.

Here is the analogy, A woman would want a man who is worth 100 million dollars because she knows the whole money would be spent on her and that translates to a good life. On the other hand, if a man is worth 100 million dollars and he has 4 wives, automatically, each wife may only be entitled to 25 million dollars and that is less that what each of them would get if they are the sole wife. Separate a man from his wealth and women would care less how many concubines or wives the man decides to marry.

Shalom

Humans are a creature of beauty. No doubt, if you are visually appealing, you will get some privileges you actually don't deserve just because of your physical appearance.

I first noticed this when I went to secondary school. Most seniors would want a pretty boy as their school son.

Also, people tend to be nicer to you when you are handsome/beautiful. Now the question comes to how to harness this physical attribute to your advantage:

1) Learn to smile and be nice to people. They will love you more. Some people even think it's a privilege when a handsome/beautiful person is exceptionally fond of them.

2) Never act as if you're in a haste for anything. It boost your confidence and paves the way for you.

3) Dress nicely. Don't over spend to look good but always look neat and wear clothes that fit and not clothes that are trending.

4) Highlight those little attributes that makes you good looking. For instance, try to brighten your teeth, exfoliate your lips, make sure your nails are neat ( both hands and feet), make sure your hair is neat, carve your eyebrows (both male and female)

5) Smell nice. Your body deodorant is way more important than your perfume.

6) Always walk alone so that you are approachable

7) Don't engage is habits that people consider dirty like smoking in public. You can do it when you are alone at home.

Make yourself scarce. Don't always show your face around. Let people miss you a bit.

9) Avoid dull coloured clothes. If you are very fair, buy clothes that enhance your colour. Very bright clothes will make you more outstanding. Darker shades will make you more mature.

10) Avoid loud people. They draw the wrong attention towards you.

Let's discuss this topic realistically.

Women have been known to pitch their children against their fathers. Even without being divorced, women intentionally tell their kids negative things against their fathers in order to make the kids love them more. This usually starts when the kids are very little and that is why most kids say they love their mum. As they grow up, they begin to think that their father hardly loves them. This is because the man is usually out hustling to Carter for the family and affords the woman more opportunity to spend time with the kids and indoctrinate them with hatred for their father.

Now imagine what happens when they are divorced. The kids automatically think that the reason for the divorce was their father. Furthermore, most fathers are scared to send money to their divorced wife because she most like will use the money for her selfish interest and not for the kids. Also, she may lie to her ex husband with the children's name just to get money from him.

I once read about an old man who divorced his wife when his 3 kids were hardly 7 ,5 and 3 years old respectively. Fortunately for this man, he kept a diary where he wrote down the reason for the divorce and it was because of the woman's infidelity. This man also kept all the receipts of all the money he sent to the ex wife for the children's upkeep. He never missed paying their school fees up till university level and sending large sums of money for their upkeep. On the other hand, their mother brainwashed them that ever since she divorced their dad, he hasn't sent a dime for their upkeep. So these kids grew up hating their father and thinking of him as an irresponsible man.

One day the eldest child who was 35years at the time decided to visit his dad and that was where he discovered the truth about the whole situation. He apologized to his father and invited his other two siblings to apologise to their dad because they hated him for no just cause.

In essence, Most fathers are wonderful. Some women just enjoy turning their kids against their father and it gets worse when divorce happens.

Shalom.

You don't know the extent you are willing to go until your survival is threatened.