Most men know the kind of women they marry.
Do not take your wife abroad if you suspect the tendency of cheating or not being submissive to you. Leave her here in Nigeria and visit whenever you can.

Some may argue that she may still cheat here in Nigeria. At least if she cheats here in Nigeria, you can send her packing without shi shi.

Men, women don't love you. She married you because you could provide for her what she is incapable of providing for herself. The day she is able to provide those things for herself, she will walk away.

Shalom.

OP I perfectly understand your point.
But if we should tell ourselves the truth, the pain of providing for your kids is not basically because you provide. It stems from the fact that the money you send will be used by your ex-wife for her own personal needs instead of the kids.

Most women after divorce use the kids to siphon money from their ex husband's. They lie about the kids health, the inflate school expenses, the inflate groceries and every other thing needed by the kids. They now use the money meant for the kids to live their lives.

This is exactly the scenario that men abhor. After divorce, most men are willing to allow their women to go and live their life the way they want but most women make it their life's mission to destroy the man.

OP, if it's possible, pay for only verifiable expenses. Go to their school and pay the fees directly. If they are sick, go to the hospital and pay directly. Buy the groceries and send to them. Your ex wife should also contribute monetarily in taking care of the kids. Also ensure you evidence of what you do.

Don't be scared, in future, your kids will understand especially the male children.

Shalom

In all sincerity, he didn't ask for too much. He asked for the barest minimum.
No shouting, no quarreling, can cook, can dress well, can pray etc.

He didn't ask for big breast or big nyash, or fair skin.
All the qualities he listed are homelike qualities.

For the men against his list, will you rather have the opposite of what he listed in a wife?

For the women against his list, will you wish your brother or son marries a woman who has the opposite of the qualities he listed??

We all know what we are doing, after nairaland we will all go back to our realities.

NO GREE FOR ANYBODY THIS YEAR.

SHALOM

As a man, never joke with your Finance. That is not to say that you make money for women. Only give a woman just enough to guarantee her survival. Never provide luxury to any woman, if she wants luxury let her go and work.

The world thinks along the line of finance. A rich man may be stupid but his words, actions and inaction carry more value than that of a wise poor man.

Just know that in any relationship with a woman, the primary aim in her mind is because you are providing something or that you are capable of providing something in the nearest future. So do not go to any length to please her.

One thing men do not understand is that when a woman knows you can provide, she will want to stick with you. Forget the threat of breakfast/divorce. A few Instagram DMs (attention) does not translate to a good life and women know this.

1) Finance
2) Finance
3) Finance.

But don't spoil any woman. Just give them the barest minimum that will guarantee her survival.

Shalom

We have alot of responsibility to our partner. As a woman, there is nothing wrong in building a house in your father's compound. Where there is a wrongdoing is not letting your husband know that you are carrying out such a project.

Dear men, do not let your wife's actions or inaction lead you to your grave.

As for me, I will love my wife soooo much that I wouldn't want her to be a widow. Instead of my wife to be a widow, let me be a widower.

Shalom.

OP, you have done nothing wrong. Nobody has a monopoly over violence. You even gave her enough opportunity before you hit her. I must commend you for that.

People have to understand why the society is against hitting women. It has nothing to do with you being a gentleman man but everything to do the avoidance of committing murder. Women are generally weaker when compared to men but I'm not trying to generalize here. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON.

Also there are two types of abuse.
1) Physical Abuse
2) Emotional abuse.

Physical abuse usually has evidence. This is why it is easy to spot a person who has been physically abused. Most people who are abused are women. However some men get physically abused just like the OP.

Emotional abuse is much more difficult to spot. The people who are usually on the receiving end of Emotional abuse are men. The society turns a blind eye on Emotional abuse because there is no physical evidence. Women are usually the once dishing out this type of abuse. They insult, abuse and do all manner of things to their partner and expect men to keep quiet.

The only reason why I advice men to avoid physical abuse is because Nigerian prisons are not a good place to be. Apart from this, do not be afraid to be called a woman beater when a woman raises her hands first on you.

If a woman knows that if she slaps you, she will recieve a thunderous slap in return, I bet she will keep her hands to herself.

OP cut that girl loose. She is not good for you. If a broke man does not deserve love, a man with money does not deserve only one woman.

Shalom.

No man can perfectly explain submission more than a woman and no woman can perfectly explain love more than a man.

For instance, if you had asked the jews what love meant, they would have given you several definitions. But the one the one time Jesus christ was asked what love is, he demonstrated it on the cross of calvary. There are actually no words to describe what Christ did on Calvary.

In essence, submission to your husband is a gift which God has designed for only women to understand and express while love is a gift which God has designed for only men to understand and express.

For the sake of your question, submission simply means " AT ALL TIMES, MAY THE WILL/WISH OF MY HUSBAND BE DONE TO ME".

There are no exceptions to submission. You cannot submit today and not submit tomorrow or you cannot submit in this matter and not submit in the next matter. Submission is absolute and this is why Men must choose CAREFULLY whom to love and women must choose CAREFULLY whom to submit to.

Jesus christ did not say, I will only die for the Jews or for Israel, he died for everyone.

SHALOM

Everything we buy in life, we always want to test/check if it is okay.

You by a phone, you will always want to check if it's OK before you pay, no matter how much the seller tries to convince you that it's okay.

I don't understand why women are against men trying to check if a child is truly theirs.

Left for me, DNA should be done at the point of birth for two reasons.
1) to confirm paternity or maternity.
2) To avoid switching babies at birth.

Shalom

A full grown adult is coming online to complain that she paid for the food she ate? Incredible.

The major aim of most Nigerian women who go on dates is to "chop" a man's money and not necessarily because they want to get to know you.

If you want to confirm if this is true, fix a date with a lady at a location where they only sell water or just soft drinks and she will decline going on that date. In contrast, fix a date where they sell food and she will jump on the opportunity.

Shalom.

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Here is my sincere advice to you.

1) When you see a woman, treat whatever relationship you have with her as transactional.

2) Make sure any woman you decide to date invest something tangible in your life. I don't mean sex, let her invest her money, skills and time in your life.

You see, women are loyal to their emotions. A woman does not really care about what you have done for her in the past, if you cannot help her presently, you are useless to her. This is why I said she has to invest in you and openly ask her for it the same way they ask you for money for wig, shoes and cloth. A woman is only loyal to her sacrifice. Once she knows she has sacrificed something that is not easy to come by e.g Money, she will be loyal to you.

Here is how you do it, if you have a car and you want to go for maintenance and you know it will cost you like 15k, openly tell her that your car is due for maintenance and that she should give you 15k for it (Not borrow).

So whenever she collects money from you, collect an equal amount of money from her. This is transactional relationship. So that the day she decides to leave, she will remember all that she has invested in you and that will keep her.

Don't crave for love, it will find you and when it does make sure you are getting as much as you are giving.

Shalom

Mouth odour is as a result of
1) Bacteria activities
2) Untreated gastrointestinal disease.
If you close your mouth for a long time, the Bacteria secrets gases that contain alot of sulphide and hence the bad odour you perceive.
Steps to reduce mouth odour
1) Brushing in the morning and before you go to bed at night.
2) Use a tongue scrapper to scrap your tongue after brushing.
3) Buy non sugary chewing gums.
In fact, even if you miss brushing and you eat gums steady, it will greatly reduce the odour from your moth at least for that period.

Shalom

The responsibility for pregnancy does not solely rests on the shoulders of a man. The man donated 50% of the genetic material and the woman donated 50% of the genetic material.

The problem here is sense of responsibility. Women should learn to be responsible for their actions. You got pregnant and you're here to disturb a man's wedding. Why didn't you ensure you got married to him first before opening your legs.

No man is 100% responsible for any pregnancy. You are partly responsible and the woman is partly responsible. Everyone should own up to their mistakes.

What if the girl is even promiscuous and the guy is not actually responsible but because she has seen that the guy is family oriented, she wants to hook him up with the pregnancy.

Shalom

As a man, never loose your Armour to any woman. Whether wife or not. Being a man is much more than being of the male species.

The mistake Israel made was upgrading Sheila financially and socially. No matter the pressure, always make sure your wife depends solely on you.

Just like the British colonies, once they feel they can stand on their own, they begin to ask for independence.

Women only love you for what you can provide. Once they can provide those things you provide for them or once you give them the seat at the big boys table, they begin to see themselves as equals. Never loose your power to any woman no matter how long you have known them or married to them.

Teach only men how to fish, and as for women just give them enough fish to guarantee their survival.

For the unmarried, just know that the woman you will marry will only submit to you on the condition that you have a very clear upper hand. That upper hand you have is your money. Never upgrade your wife to your level or set her up financially. Let her ALWAYS depend on you.

Do you know why most women change once they go abroad??.
1) The law is on their side
2) They too can make the same amount if money their husband's make.
When this happens, they see no use for their husband.

Shalom.

These things have no ideal formula. Before you conclude on what's best for you, try the understand the reason behind both ideas.

1) Brushing before eating helps you to wash off the layer of bacteria,microorganism and food particles which must have built up after your last meal the previous night ( Assuming you didn't brush before bed)

2) Brushing after eating ensures that food particles left over after eating are completely washed off and that your mouth does not have the odour( aroma) of the food you have eaten. This actually boosts your confidence when talking to people after a meal. It also helps delay the growth of microorganisms which feed on food remnants in your mouth especially your tongue.

So it is ideal to brush before and after meals.

Shalom.

Why is it that whenever a man and a woman divorces/separates, the man never tries to do anything to hurt or bring down his estranged partner, but the woman makes it her life mission to bring down this man.

They go to any length to tarnish the man's image. The Bible says it is better to live under a leaking roof than to share a mansion with a bad woman.

This just tells you that women, no matter who they are derive their relevance from men.

Treat marriage or relationships as a business. You can be extremely rich as a man but make sure you only give your wife or gf what is only enough for her survival. If she wants luxury, let her go and work. Afterall Oshoala is a woman so nothing stops Adesuwa from making her own money.

Shalom

A rich man has no business with marriage. While a man is working to make money, his wife should also be working to make her own money. Stop leeching on men's money.

If you get married as a rich man, I can tell you that the major factor that attracted your wife is your money. Why not just have kids and any day the woman wants to leave, she should go.

I have never heard that the baby mama of a rich man ever cheated or was disloyal. That's because she knows she will loose everything if she tries such.

Marriage protects women even when they are wrong. A woman feels comfortable cheating when married than if she was just a baby mama. Even if your wife cheats and you demand for divorce, the western courts will still grant her her certain percentage of your wealth.

So I advise rich men, don't sign the dotted lines. Keep her as a baby mama or give her an air tight Prenup as a condition for marriage, better still, Transfer your assets and cash to your mother.

Shalom

A rich man should not be married. Marriage has no benefit at all to a rich man. Forget about divorce and the likes, marriage is not in tandem with the idea of wealth.

If a broke man does not deserve a woman, it is implicitly wrong to say that a rich man deserves one woman.

Why would I stick to a woman when I can comfortably have as many as I want.

You see, women are very cunning. They like sexual exclusivity with a rich but they don't practice sexual exclusivity with a broke man.

The idea that after divorce, a man has to pay alimony to a woman is what I don't fully understand. While they were married, the man was working his ass off to make a living, what then was the woman doing with her own life?.

Well is as a rich man you want to get married, please get an air tight prenuptial agreement signed. If your wife says she wount sign the prenup, then just get her pregnant and continue your life. If she insists, then let her go.

Don't worry sooo much about the kids, when they grow up, they will definitely understand.

Shalom

Dear men,

I want to take out time to properly educate you oh how women think and act. I also want to educate you on the general solution to most problems you face in your marriage or relationship.

A woman was created to be under a man and hence she should serve at the behest of her husband or boyfriend. Now this authority that was given to men is not just because you have a dick, it is because nature has given you some tools which establishes your authority.

These tools are
1) Developed Reasoning
2) Physical strength
3) Finances.

If a woman senses any weakness in these aforementioned endowment from nature, she is bound to misbehave.

Developed reasoning refers to your ability to make judgement devoid of emotions. If something is black, then it is black even if your emotion is telling you it is white.

Physical strength enables you to navigate this world in providing for yourself and for your family.

Finances enables you to create a certain level of comfort for yourself. When this comfort is created, you then get a woman as part of the comfort you need.
In all these, nature has ensured that you live a life according to what you can provide for yourself.

Now women generally respond to these qualities. If she senses any weakness in any of these attributes, she rebels.

Leaders often times take tough decisions in order to subdue the followers and this makes it easier for them to lead.

NEVER GRANT A WOMAN FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. This is because most women enter into marriage or relationship because it offers them a certain level of financial freedom without responsibility.

Verbal abuse and physical abuse are the same kind if abuse the difference is just in the instrument used.

If you want your wife to stop abusing you, withdraw every form of financial assistance you give her. Close down that shop you opened for her. Make her depend on you for survival.

Just to further explain my point, You cannot abuse your boss at work not because you fear and respect him but because he pays you and thus grants you financial freedom. The day you resign from your job, you automatically discover that you no longer fear or respect your boss.

Don't be afraid to loose your wife, if she is tired of the marriage she should go. Don't endure any form of verbal abuse.

Just make a rule from today, Any day your wife insults you, make her pay the price immediately.

No matter your age, you can still remarry. Men generally avoid women who have been previously married.

Don't worry about your kids, when they grow up, they will understand.

Shalom

This guy is just one of the many ritualists/yahoo boy who was unfortunate to be caught.

I don't criticize people for their reason to date. Some date for money, some date for nyash, some date for boobs, some date for status etc.

There are many reasons why people date. So if an adult makes up her mind to date a ritualist, then I have no pity for her if she also falls victim to that ritualist. Afterall, the money she has been enjoying were the tears and curses of the people who suffered due to the act of her boyfriend.

My sympathy only goes out to her family and loved ones who were not AWARE of her choice of relationship.

The funny thing is that, if that guy had succeeded and was not caught, after he makes money from his ritual, another girl will still see all these questionable wealth and still decide to date him.

People may say she doesn't deserve death, but I tell most solemnly, she signed her death warrant the day she started dating that boy.


NB: the boy should rot in prison, not because he killed that girl but because he has caused pain to the girls family who were not AWARE of this unholy relationship.

Shalom

Women think sexual urge is something you can suppress. Can anyone suppress hunger or thirst?

Childbirth is difficult on both the man and the woman. You cannot sex starve your husband for 3 months and expect him not to get satisfaction outside. You must be a very Wicked person to starve a man and complain if he decides to get satisfaction outside.

For men, the urge to have sex is natural. You cannot deny your husband food and then complain if another woman feeds him.

If a child is hungry and his mother tells him " stop crying, learn to control your hunger, you have to be disciplined to control your hunger, I will feed you in 3 months time", that gives you an idea of how Women sound when they give reasons why a man should not have sex with his wife.

As a man, except on health grounds, if your wife denies you sex, do not complain. Just look for a girl and get the satisfaction you need. Also, deny her whatever you normally provide for her. She should go outside and get it.

It's about time men view marriage the way Women view marriage. It's appalling that married men beg their wives for sex. It's a shame. Any night that she is not in the mood, the next morning the man should not also be in the mood to provide for her. Or better still, when there is a threat to her life, the man should not also be in the mood to defend her.

Shalom

This is a fine topic to discuss, but OP should edit the headline to look/sound better.

Now to the topic

I have said this before, Human beings are a creature of Beauty. Everyone likes beauty but over the years, women have mastered the art of beautifying themselves and this makes them more attractive to the opposite sex.

Whatever you feed in life grows and whatever you neglect dies. You don't expect women to feed their outer selves and still be smart at the same time.

My advice to men, please go after only High value women. No woman will settle for you unless she knows she will get something she is incapable of doing for herself from you. If you must sleep with a low value woman, always ensure you make her understand that she is low value and that she is in the vast majority of people of no value.

Shalom

Your wife has weaponized sex.

Go outside and get it. Don't let any woman you call wife deny you sex for flimsy reasons.

You see, men enter into marriage purely for the sake of love. To women, marriage is transactional. Before a woman agrees to marry you, she must have weighed all the advantages she stands to gain from the marriage.

She knows you will always be Hot as a man and she knows she will always be the most available woman and hence, she wants to ration the number of days you get sex in a year.

Men understand this, WOMEN HATE MEN WHO ARE NOT Hot. WOMEN LIKE Hot MEN BECAUSE A Hot MAN IS EASILY MANIPULATED.

Sexual urge is like hunger or thirst. You cannot suppress it. The answer to a hungry man's problem is food. The answer to a thirsty man is water. The answer to a Hot man is sex. If your wife denies you sex, please masturbate and let her know you are masturbating or go outside and let her know there is a competition.

Now take that one thing she desires most "ATTENTION"

Never mention sex to her again. Live with her as if you are living with a stranger. If she complains that you don't get her in the mood, tell her that you don't go to work just because you are in the mood or that you don't provide for the family because you are in the mood to provide. Remind her that you do all these things because it is your RESPONSIBILITY and that she also has a RESPONSIBILITY of satisfying your sexual needs.

Shalom

Some comments are hypocritical.

At 47 and you are unmarried, there is absolutely nothing wrong in patronizing sex workers. Just keep an open mind and hear me out.

If we are all sincere to ourselves, the major aim why a woman gets married is just to have someone take care of her and to elevate her societal standards(married woman). The major aim why men get married is to have a home( Home cooked meals and orderliness) and to have a sex partner. Every other thing is just a bonus to that marriage.

OP, Women will criticize you because you are actually one of the men they cannot manipulate in terms of relationship because their greatest weapon which is sex is something you get whenever you want it.

As humans, well all enjoy most of the things we consider bad. If you are truthful to yourself you will know I'm saying the truth. We all like sex, we like clubbing, we like smoking, we like orges, we like naked parties. We are only scared because we don't want to go to hell. Remove religion and indoctrination and you will know I'm saying the truth.

Shalom.

Don't be deceived. The pride of every woman created on earth is to be called someone's wife and probably a mother.

You see, as you grow older, your preferences in life changes. You begin to desire certain things especially if you see women your age. A time will come when you as a single lady will ask to go out with your married female friend and you will hear things from her like " Emeka my son is graduating from secondary school thus week, and next week Aisha my daughter will be participating in her singing competition and I have to attend both, therefore I have no time to go out with you"

You will feel pained, you will begin to wish you had a family of your own.

Advice of the day:

Life is a culmination of all the experiences you have had. At the beginning, you were a baby and experienced undiluted love, you grow up into a teenager and you feel the burst of hormones and energy. You become an adult an you begin to take up responsibilities. You get married and have children and you begin to be a family man/woman. Your kids grow up and get married and you become a grand parent and if you are lucky, you become a great grand parent.
Let it never be said that out of your own decision, you decided to be a single old lady. Why give up on other experiences of life after becoming an adult

Shalom

Just like the urge for food, or water, there is also an urge for sex. It's completely natural. Women are actually the ones who preach this gospel of No masturbation. They do this because they understand that it is very difficult to manipulate a man that is not horn.y

As a man, your body constantly produces sperm and when these sperm cells accumulate in your body, it leads to sexual urge. For Women, they generally experience more sexual urge during ovulation because that is the period they are most fertile.

Men, have you noticed that after having sex with a lady, you automatically find them not attractive anymore?. This is because you have released the major factor that made them attractive in your eyes.

Masturbation boosts confidence. Once a woman knows you don't actually care about having sex with her, she becomes naturally attracted to you.

Having said that, when a woman is billing you, just go and masturbate and you will discover that you wount fall for their manipulation.

This is why most prostitutes or hookopians always demand for their money BEFORE they have sex with you because they know that you may not want to pay them after sex.

My aim is to liberate men. Follow my teachings and advice and you will be glad you did.

Shalom.

Over the years, mankind has done the job of God by interpreting some verses of the Bible to soothe their particular culture and society norms.

Everything God made is good. Food is good but overfeeding is bad. Wine is good but drunkenness is bad.

The reason why people say smoking weed is bad is because it affects your sense of judgement.
For instance, some people may not engage in sin normally but when they get high, their sense of judgement is impaired and they do things they wouldn't normally do.

Finally, smoking weed is not bad, but it has the ability to alter your sense of reasoning which can lead you to sin.

NB: I'm not a religious person

Shalom

People try to over amplify the importance of sex.
I do not support sex for grade especially if the student studied hard and actually passed the exams but the lecturer decides to fail her. However if the student failed and the lecturer decides to help her by sleeping with her in exchange for grade, then both the lecturer and the student are 100% culpable.

You see, women are masters of manipulation. They will tell you that a man should help out without demanding sex in return. However, a man can not just walk up to a woman and say " please I'm Hot, can you just satisfy my urge"?

That's exactly how women sound when they ask men for financial help or any other kind of help. If women will not agree to help a Hot man without expecting money or anything in return, then men can help women without expecting anything in return.

Don't come here to tell me about morals, Humans are only morally upright when it suits them.

Shalom.

It should be a crime not to do DNA test. Even if the child looks exactly like you, please do DNA test.

If you give your wife 20k cash, I believe she will count it in your presence to confirm its actually complete. So why does your wife count the money? Does she not trust you??

I pray that someday, scientists will come up with a method to do DNA test once a woman becomes pregnant, so that men will not spend money on Antenatal for another man's child.

Fraud is bad, but the worst type of fraud is paternity fraud.

#sayNOtopaternityfraud

Shalom

Ade1177:

You're aware most house helps are underage?

Abi what are you people smoking

The op said if you must cheat why not go outside

Why with house help

90% of house help are usually ladies under 20
From 13 to 18
Looking for money

My submission was not age specific. I am against sexually molesting children who offer house help services.

I only wrote my opinion when considering the house help as an adult.

Again, what is the difference between the house help and those girls you termed "outside"??

Whatever you do for your fellow man is a debt repayable no matter how long it takes.

Women want to alienate you from the people who actually have your best interest at heart.

Women call you mummy's boy because you are close to your mum.
Women make you feel like you are not man enough if you are close to your dad, brothers or sisters or even friends. They do this because they hate COMPETING for your ATTENTION. They want you all to themselves.

Once alienated, they find it easy to destroy you. You can easily break a single broom but you cannot easily break a bunch.

Funny thing is that she will begin to respect you the more if she knows that you don't always say yes to her demand.

Shalom

The craze about Apple devices can most likely be backed by the superior ADVERTISING prowess of Apple.

Beauty and class is subject to what us obtainable in a particular society. The more you see something (advertisement) the more your brain subconsciously registers that thing which you saw.

For instance, everytime I open my browser, I see an advert from Viva. Normally I don't use Viva for laundry, but since I began to see their advert more that 25 times a day, I automatically started buying only Viva detergent anytime I want to do laundry.

In essence, advertisement programs our mind and Apple is extremely good with advertisement.

To further explain this, the specifically channeled their advert to the women folk. Nowadays, women do more advert for IPhone devices than the manufacturer Apple themselves.

Shalom.

Psychologically speaking, you see those duties a house help renders in a family, is exactly what a man wants/Expects from his wife.

Women don't understand that cooking, sweeping, and generally taking care of the home is what most men want from marriage. They think their matrimonial duty is just to sleep with their husband.

Once a man starts admiring a house help who is good with her duty, the man naturally begins to like her and hence most men end up sleeping with them.

Again wives don't understand that the only difference between them and a house help is title. Most house helps are prettier and more homely than madam.

Some people may disagree with what I just wrote, but if you search deeply in your heart, you will discover it is the truth.

Shalom