₦airaland Forum

This is the best advice I've seen on nairaland. Me sef learnt something from this.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

I ignored reading this Pandora report while waiting for Mr. Peter Obi to react first and now he has,i can't express how disappointed i am.

Stoned to death and even NTA didn't make the news go viral. As usual nobody will be arrested. Rest in peace young man.

Madam please do nothing about this and let your husband handle it. This is a very delicate situation that you may end up blaming yourself if you over react. I personally won't evict my parents or parents in-law in my house except if they are claiming ownership or doing something horrible.
I pay God to bless you so that you get another property and dash them the current one.

helinues:
Nah, those people don't really have an idea what state of emergency means.

Military would occupy every nook and cranny in SE... The extra judicial killings this time would be multiplied in folds...

Ahh even this guy man no support this move.

Not at all. Find the prowling gunmen and John Wick them.

Whatever you do ,do not kill this innocent baby. Don't involve his family yet but tell your own family.

Congrats Kachi. Welcome back

What is wrong with people? What kind of anarchy and lawlessness is this?

When will our law makers make a law criminalizing this?

They are asking Buhari chai. Why not pass a resolution in the house declaring them terrorist?

jaxxy:
Nigeria is an oppressive country. People unconsciously think power is meant for oppressing the weak and venerable. If not for the power of social media many would have been sitting ducks in this country with no help in sight because the law that should protect them is biased/afraid of the rich, influential or powerful.

It is an unconscious and uncivilized mindset of oppression. Created by our leaders who are actually only a product of the people themselves. Our leaders didn’t fall from space they are from u and I.

Note: Same people will never try such when they go abroad or to civil climes*

Bro you just said it all. Op here's your answer.

This attacks is so regrettable. What is going on. To imagine that one of these attacks took place in my home town that is known to be very peaceful is beyond me. Please security agencies should do their job quickly and apprehend whoever is doing this.

If you divorce na who go come take care of the children? Start from no more church except Sundays. Call the elders if necessary. Stamp your feet down

neonly:
I accept all u just said it OK part of advice
Hope u read my post well for the past 10yrs she been working no support to house welfare
Marriage is part of helping each other flaws but when the other person see it in a different way and start capitalise on it then wahala go dey
Why won't I wash my children cloths and cook for my wife be a complain no u getting wrong
This no dey gree do anything again na work and church be her poragative u right no communication again I have tried honestly but all talks and gist fall on deaf ears
My 2nd son seems to understand what is really going on and am afraid our issues don't him at school he woke early today and said he didn't want to go to school ask him y he said nothing with a sad face
They are reason am still putting on d relationship to make it work but honestly now am just tired
It better to have a broken home and be alive to see yur children grow than to be death

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

You have spoken to everybody including we nairaland strangers but you are yet to speak with your wife that is giving you the wahala. Pride is what is killing your home. This I've seen with my third eye because you didn't tell your story well.

Thank God for preservation

Get a mentor
Keep learning both on the job and online and classroom training.
Pay for self development if you have to,don't wait for an unwilling employer to do so
Take a leap of faith(this may be quitting your job,starting a career in a new field or going for a global certification in your field)

Akwaibom government need to engage in mass sensitization against this evil trend of labeling children witches. Kick out ignorance

Industrial Engineering is good but i prefer you get into automation instead.

Team Nigeria have done super! Well done people and keep winning. I hope the government appreciates them.

Took mine yesterday. It's a self decision

OYENIYIJK:
For those that are asking for the group link on Telegram, check the picture attached to this post.

Also, if you need someone that will be buying your PayPal funds, please get to me. I have the best rate.

Check my signature and you will be surprised

Can't find the group on telegram

Crossroad1:
bro, have seen people who go all out for you when they don't even know you.. If not for the circumstances at that time, I won't even ask.
I was the one footing the 300k

Only a grateful heart appreciates good done to him. His reaction is only excusable if it's a frequent request. During the planning of a friend's dad burial a man showed up and took up undertaking service free of charge. The man is an undertaker and the dad helped him land a huge contract. His family didn't even know that he gave such help to anyone.

Ensure your wife is not burn out taking care of kids or nothing is seriously bothering her. Take a vacation. You are a Pastor but i don't know if you are the overly religious type. Some of the things religious people call worldly like cool music,romantic movies(I don't do porn) may help your wife. Create a nice environment and make love.

Polyol:
I've not even started slut shaming you yet. The sluts I know lie about their body counts and they jump from one man to another, that's a clear definition of who you are right?

I'm no redpill and I'm definitely not simp as well. I'm too enough for myself that the only provision I can get from you is sex, infact you can't provide anything better. What do I expect from a woman who's so comfortable jumping from one man to another and claims she isn't a slut?

She said 2years, oshey iron lady . Your game strategy will pay off someday.

And again I can't fvck with who fancy BBN, all these are red flags. Why bring BBN into this Convo?

Then keep your eyes on girls that have sex to provide. There's everything right for a girl who desire to keep herself till marriage. That's respecting God and His word.

Believe this and you believe anything. Call it Interest ooo, call it agenda ooh,position ooo they are all the same and all the political parties,ethnic groups,race,individuals,groups and stakeholders in this country and anywhere else in the world have theirs. A human is created to have his interest at heart so there must be agendas QED. The question should be What is your agendas? Are they good or evil? Is your agenda in the initiation stage,the planning stage or the execution stage? Nwabufor please stop already. What is happening now in Nigeria was predicted years ago and is unfolding before our very eyes. Is not by accident. It's very dangerous not to have your own agenda with the current situation of Nigeria and that's one problem the South have.

It's well with you. Please get a 2nd opinion. Hope to see your testimony post