₦airaland Forum

Congratulations

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I think emotional abuse should be on the same level as physical abuse. It can drive one to depression and suicide. Slander is equivalent to murder.

nairalife2013:
u certainly will. Also, remember, love doesn't dwell on advantages or disadvantages associated wid d person u hav unintentionally fallen for. Love doesn't hav principles. It is not like science or arithmetics- love is like arts- d ugliest things can be d most beautiful things. So don't dwell on looking down on d guy's infirmities wid d hope dat those bad attributes of his would discourage u. They won't. Instead they could even add more fire. My case may not be exactly akin to yours, but in our case, in one of our confessions, d lady had told me dat if we had sex we may not be able to stop having sex again and again. When this statement came out, we remain silent for a while in d mist of d conversation. On resumption, I askd us, so if we are unable to stop, what will happen? She looked straight into nothing and, wid a show of self-abandonment, she said dejectedly " we will be caught in d long run. Silence again enveloped us. She was momentarily lost in her own thoughts and I in mine... Til today she has not told me what she thot of dat fateful day but I thot of d shame dat was so imminent and lurking arround d corner; I thot of my pretty wife known for crying her eyes out anytime she suspected I was having an affair wid a single lady and now a married one! Dat means I hav gone down d drain beyond salvage!; I thot of my beautiful kids- d shame and stigma of a lifetime; I thot of my extended family and freinds and d church and my street and neighbourhood; I thot of d speed of such story; I thot of many things- it dawn on me I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me dat would bring, in simple words, a difficult and regretful life... I didn't need a teacher to tell me sometimes u hav to be afraid and behave like a boy when u were a man. As she recovered from her pensive mood, she looked ahead and, I thot as we walked away silently, we both knew dis road was far and would probably end in d sea. However, People stil do it and stop it or get away wid it, but to me, I knew she said d truth- to stop dis one wil be harder than to start and, as a gambler would say,I know when d environment isn't safe enOf to count my money. Blessed so early wid education, confidence, cash and independenc- like cars, women hav been my toys and Some of us hav been in dis thing since one teeth and we did SOME BIG THINGS, leaving no gorgeous UMBRELLA unturned and blessing them in return. Just laff over it and know there is nothing there. It will go away. Don't try to KILL it wid sex- u may not be strong enof to handle it, pls.

8 years later I read through this thread and your post and it all makes sense. Now I understand what the OP was passing through and all you explained here. To think that I saw OP as an unserious person. 8yrs down the line I met someone who made me feel how I had never felt before. As if I reunited with my lost soul. Already doing some of the things you said here. Gracias

Nullification is for marriages based on falsehood. When there's no disclosure of impediments that has been in your life before the marriage was contracted Egs: Hiding that you are impotent,no womb, have mental illness,HIV, secret marriage. That one is express nullification by the Church. It's even in the wedding vow. You say something like 'I Okeke know not of any legal impediment to this marriage'. So if you know and hid it and your partner found out after the marriage,he/she can ask for nullification because the marriage is null and void. Separation is temporal staying away from each other while other people mediate for reconciliation. Divorce is legal and more permanent separation of a valid marriage. The Church doesn't not support this and I don't stand with the Church on that. Any vow can be broken if the people that took the vow want it broken. It's not a chain or perpetual bondage. Only make it a last resort (final bus stops) when every other solution has failed to avoid people abusing it. God did same with the law of Moses.

See people that goes around sleeping with everything on skirt are here looking for who to crucify. If you are without sin, throw the first stone. Woman confess your sin to God,ask for forgiveness and move on. Na adultery you commit no be murder.

I think Soludo should allow the status quo remain for now instead of militarizing the state way. The cancer has eaten deep. Although insecurity is high at Anambra at the moment and criminals need to be flushed out. He can focus on curbing crime but not a confrontation with the agitators.

50k is not plenty but that's not the problem. I think you wife thinks you make a lot more than you do. You do not share financial information with her. If she know your plans,she may be more open in supporting you. Also you may not know her contribution. That 50k may not be all is used to provide the food you eat in that house. I remember when my husband use to give me 20-30k for feeding because i do not complain he thought it's more than enough. But i supplement with 50k every month. When he will be chopping the big sized chicken and meat he will think it's only his money. The day he got me annoyed i asked him to go to market himself and he came back just buying a few things. Finally he asked "how do you do it". Sit and discuss with your wife about feeding and financial issues and straighten things out. If you want listen to all the small small kids here telling you to stop feeding your family.

This is good news

abbey621:
Quick to say sorry actually makes you lack self respect. It is more common with simps and women. For women, they are taught at young age to be polite even when they did nothing wrong, sorry for being fat, sorry for having an opinion, sorry for not being pretty enough etc. For guys it is a way of over compensating for their lack of confidence. Now now, there's nothing wrong with saying sorry when you're wrong but when you do it just to avoid argument or to please everyone then you become an easy target for bullying, walkover etc.

This is so correct. When you always have to say sorry for things you had no control over,you can lose your self-esteem. I had this boyfriend then that I have to apologize for everything even breathing. He's always finding fault. I didn't know it was a clear sign that uncle is tired of the relationship. I became a shadow of myself and was gradually losing my confidence till the day a friend confronted my stupidity.

Very nice piece

Congratulations ����

Well Oga you broke her's first by slapping her. Do you think she is a human without emotions? You can charm her back to yourself same way the guy charmed her. The guy is not using spell or black magic but showing her love and care which you refused to show. Even God will not enter the heart of someone who has padlocked his talk-less of a human. It's left for you to loosen up and spend some good time with your girl and win her back. When was the last time you made her laugh? Na to squeeze face una know. For this no joy situation you dey make person vex.

Because we never saw the red flag as a deal breaker. We thought it'd something we can cope with until it shock us. Most times we overestimate ourselves and don't know that we are not that strong. There's no relationship without a red flag shaaa

Congratulations CR7

We are in for a long thing in this country. This is what happens when you play with governance

Mbaike let's go there. Babe if you go represent us well,we will vote for you

baby124:
He can’t change. If you continue, just prepare to assume most responsibilities with him more than likely robbing you of the little you have. They will keep telling you to endure, he will use ego and probably violence to shut you up, while you wallow in poverty. I have seen this case like 3 times.

The way people behave around money is so crucial in marriage. Some people are addicted to money. They get a high from getting money they did not work for, spending it lavishly and repeat. It’s best you let him as an adult decide if he wants to continue messing up his life or choosing his family. You need a lot of luck if you stay.

Thank you,I see a lot of people talking about getting him to change and I laughed. Only God can change a man. Your partner money language is one thing love will not help you solve so never ignore it. Many people don't know this when they are single. Dear Op It's time to take charge of your lives and start planning how to build your family. Stop planning with him in mind. It's a long lonely road. Keep praying for him and praying for strength. Divorce is taking a shortcut and with a baby on the way it's not a good decision. I pray you get it softer than some women who has walked this road before. Lastly I hope he changes for your own good.

Congratulations

This is a regular story for couples doing LD marriages esp the abroad ones. The only mistake is that Oga has broken rule 1 " Don't fall in love". That's a recipe for disaster. She has stolen your heart so find a way to retrieve it. It's not gonna be easy for you. It's either your heart and no sex or sex and no heart,not both. Stop her from coming to your house,carry another girl as a distraction, tell her your wife is coming, fake you have HIV or COVID.

Though we celebrated Seplat taking over ExxonMobil,we know deep down that it's bad news. Even the government knows. We need increase in foreign investment not exit. Our oil production may go down. Operational and safety standards may never be the same. Workers, contractors, suppliers and others are expecting something downwards. We are yet to see huge investment in gas and the IOCs are in a better position to diversify to gas,yet they are leaving. What's the hope of new investors coming into the sector. We need to look at our business environment again.

Please mothers in the house we need your assistance. My sister is pregnant 7/8 weeks. She has been vomitting non stop. I mean non stop. Has been on admission twice and today she started throwing up blood and admitted again. Has anyone experienced this kind of throwing up and what can be done to stop it.

Good job. We can't wait for the completion of this road to say Bye bye to crazy boat ride

Good job guys.

Seniorwriter:
They are mostly unlucky because they have a very low Emotional Quotient...

@Seniorwriter

This is very correct. They can be so emotionally manipulated.

Jealousy people full this thread. Congratulations miss Ibu

While wouldn't he, when his feeding fat on the youth and their future

You made a lot of valid points here. I think being a graduate is not enough,one need to hone their skills and brush up. This has been in discussed in several forums I have been in. How do you get a Nigeria graduate field ready?
Another problem I see is that there are no awareness on benefits of unpaid internship because on the job training is a great way to develop oneself.

Odogwu aburo guy name. This young man has done well. Everyone should be given basic fire fighting skills.

It's more than his slender nature trust me. Take your time and work with your finance to win her over. I don't know your relationship with your mom but if your family is close knitted like mine, i won't advise you to go ahead and marry a man without your family. I didn't do it and that was my saving grace during the most turbulent period because my family is my support structure.

Ibrahim94:
Depends on your connection.

My friend that studied History, is now working with Nigeria Port Authority. Another one is working with Federal Inland Revenue Service.

I'm currently working in a private firm as an administrative Officer and got Chartered as an HR from the Chartered Institute of Personnel Management of Nigeria. From January till last week I've gotten an HR position in a great organization but I'm been selective now.

Please, just try to get a good grade and support it with certification and connect with right people in your career path.

Please what's the process to switch to HR. Someone close to me studied Sociology and it's not palatable.

@Op Start with begging your father. Speak for her. Be an advocate so that his heart will soften. You need the whole family on board.

@ Younger Sister calm down ooo,you need your family support to win this. Even if you no gree calm down sha by the time you enter labour room and come out you go calm down. If you and the young man will get together in the future no wahala. Go back to school or learn a skill while the guy hustle his way. That's why currently he doesn't send you. It's not a walk in the park out there. Congratulations for keeping your baby.