₦airaland Forum

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.


Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?



She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

My dear, it's obvious you think the guy is a good catch and you love your sister and want her to be with a good man.

I also sense that you're more convinced by the "cute" guy than your sister.

First you must address certain things:

Is the guy truly single/divorced and genuinely wants to take her and TWO kids to UK?

Assuming he's honest, does he have the official income level & accommodation to cater for a wife and potentially three kids if she's pregnant before applying for visa? Because this is very important. He might have a job enough to do it since we Africans can manage/economize BUT he must meet the official requirements set by UK government.

If she's three months pregnant by December when they will get married, there's no guarantee she'll secure her immigrant visa before she delivers the baby in June 2020.

That brings us to the next part. What kind of documents has he in UK? A UK passport, permanent stay/indefinite leave or temporary stay?
If the first, should the baby be born in Nigeria, it will probably still be a British citizen. If the last two, it won't be. Applying to bring FOUR Nigerian citizens to the UK will require plenty of income on the part of the man.

So weigh all these factors, assuming the guy wants to be upfront with these information.

Otherwise, the guy might have thought that convincing a 35 years old single mother of two kids to have another kid would be a lot easier. Because many women in that category are somewhat desperate. Ensure he's not trying to deceive her to have a baby only. Not saying he is but just ensure he's not.

Your sister needs to "adjust" her lifestyle a bit. Clubbing and keeping her options open until December before marriage is not exactly how to inspire trust, is it?

Do not push your sister into the marriage. Because she'll have to live with the result. Let it be her choice only.

He should visit the nearest morgue in Lagos. Plenty bodies to resurrect there.

Goalnaldo:
nor be lie. Una go flog us well now self.

Well, maybe. But we are not going to be complacent. We will take every game seriously. Two draws with average clubs like Leicester cost us EPL Crown last season. A win against just one of them would have sufficed.

byrron:

I asked him that question because I have a chubby son that is bigger than his age and he was 11.8 pounds at delivery through CS and happens to be the biggest baby delivered that day at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

My son is currently 3yrs old and bigger than some 5yr old kids.

Ok. A Baltimore baby.
Wow! Nearly 12 pounds. He will probably be a basketballer or American football player.

Of course kids come in various sizes.

Always a joy to see such in CS. That we now have that option.

Goalnaldo:
the same Liverpool we flog 3-1?

Every club has an unlucky day. Imagine you lost your key player early in such a game because of a thuggish opponent player.

But we currently have the trophy.

YNWA!

Kreamie:
They can’t come home. They’d rather continue their flight training in the USA or in Australia or elsewhere other than Nigeria.

NCAT doesn’t have enough trainer planes for smooth and smooth training & IAC, Ilorin is super expensive. You’re caught between the devil and the deep blue sea in the end.

They already finished their training Na. They do not need to wait for graduation ceremony. Not necessary. Read the post well.

Goalnaldo:
you dey mind that slowpoke? A trophyless Madrid for 3 season is better than any EPL club.

Apart from LIVERPOOL of course. Greatest club ever playeth.

YNWA!

AmericanDad:
God locate me now

Amen.

bennynaza:
Traditional wedding inside hall?

Make una kuku kill our culture finish

For society traditional weddings, you hardly get a bride's family home big enough nowadays.

I still much prefer a small traditional wedding. It should be about both families and a few close friends. In the lady's family home. Then a bigger church wedding and reception if needs be.

byrron:
Do you know his age?

He thinks because poverty stunts the growth of many kids in 9ja, kids elsewhere should be like skeletons and dwarfs.

RIP.

DameB:
That's the problem with illegal migration. Why wouldn't you renew your passport when you are in a foreign land Knowing anything could go wrong or right.

Unless you have lived abroad before you will not know.

It is very common for Nigerian missions abroad to run out of passport booklets.

People are often unable to travel to attend funerals, family holiday and so on because after months of applying for a new or to renew passports, embassies say no booklet. At times 6 months you will not get your passport.

Only with a foreign passports can you travel home on TC and use foreign passport to return to base.
Otherwise if you cannot at a considerable extra cost change your ticket travel date, you will lose the entire ticket.
To be a Nigerian is not easy whether home or abroad.

enemyofprogress post =81989451:
What is spreading legs?

Na dancing Awilo Logomba dance.

Even a nun in a convent will not ask this your question Na.

Na wa o.

Jentle244:
wow somebody is not going to be happy oooo


if u know u know

Somebody wey hin toto decay you mean?

leo2020:
Buhari certificate saga is the biggest dummy the opposition had sold to its gullible supporters since 2015. It's unfortunate that some foolish youths still believe the opposition after WAEC and Cambridge UK had released Buhari certificate. Meanwhile a General in the military is in the rank of a Professor in the academics, with Defense Academy having a better and quality teachings than most of your mushrooms Universities.

Hehehehe. . Those political soldiers who promoted themselves and colleagues while looting during military govt.
Gowon went from Lt. Col to General overnight on becoming head of state after July 1966 coup.
Abeg leave matter for Mathias.

toprealman:
It wasn't ooo.
As a kid, remember lots of things we did which made you tougher......a lot that these indomie generation knows nothing about

He has no idea. You did sport, read widely, did legal business, socialised and many more back then. People interacted more with each other.

Nowadays people spend most of their time with their gadget.

dammytosh:
A 11 year old can give a mutual consent acording to our useless law.


That is not rape.

But does this law apply nationwide? People need to be educated about this. Something morally condemnable may not be illegal. This will make people behave legally and prevent jungle justice.

Right now everybody interprets it his own way.

Tats:
Theresa May did not keep to her words that no deal was better than a bad deal and also to get us out. He may have undermined her as she was not doing what she was supposed to be doing. I prefer Boris any day as he understands the everyday problems of a society and what infrastructure a country needs to progress.

We voted to leave and he is carrying that mandate. They have to respect the vote and honour it. People who voted to remain are undermining that vote and are doing all sorts to paint leaving as bad and to cancel the vote, thereby making the country look bad in the eyes of the world. No one dictates to Nigeria what they do and the United Kingdom shouldn't be dictated to. A General election would be the way forward.

Have you forgotten that Boris, Dr Liam Fox and other Leave campaigners promised during referendum campaign that Brexit deal would be the easiest deal in history? As it turned out it was a lie. They never for once mentioned openly that Britain might leave without a deal. Had they done that the narrow win would have been impossible.

In Theresa May's Opinion it was a good deal. So she has not failed in that.
In Europe UK has a seat and veto at the table, how is UK dictated to when other 27 countries follow the same rule.
From your talk I doubt you have ever lived on the continent. If you have you will be stunned how very myopic and isolationist UK Conservative view of Europe is. I have seen it from both sides. The party is now an England National Party remote controlled by Farage, who by the way is of French refugee (Huguenot) origin.

The Europeans are actually sick and tired of Brexit and Macron cannot wait to see the back of UK. Angela Merkel already said 4 years ago that if UK decides to leave, Europe has to regrettably but simply allow them to go. The UK journalist present was amazed how unconcerned about it she was. That was long before the referendum.

You may want to remember that Charles de Gaulle vowed that UK will never join EEC as long as he was alive. And he refused UK request to join many times.

His reasons he gave are exactly what we are seeing NOW. Including UK slowing down European integration, UK preferring to tag along USA, Commonwealth, etc. UK knew fully well the direction Europe planned before joining. Gaulle made it clear and he saw the future.

Remember too that it was Ted Heath, the single and gay Conservative PM who took UK into EEC.

I for one want UK to leave soonest. So that we can all have our peace.

Zombiekiller010:
Small head, na that one crack my rib

Chai! I nor fit laugh. Kikkikiki.

How can someone have all those large organs on a small head?
Very disproportionate Na.

dammytosh:
A 15 year old can not give a mutual consent.


That is rape.

I have been meaning to ask. What is the legal age of consent in Nigeria?

It varies from country to country. It is 14 in some. Others are 15,16, 17, 18 or even more. We cannot assume it is universally 18. It is higher in some countries.

Some claim it is 11 years in Nigeria, probably the lowest worldwide. Which part of the constitution clearly defines this age?

Nwaohafia1:
Boris Johnson doesn't have the charisma. He looks somehow

Surprisingly British media consider him as highly charismatic.

The guy deserves every trouble he gets as prime minister. He brazenly undermined former PM Theresa May at every turn. He amassed too many political foes even within own party in the process.

Too many want to see him suffer a taste of his own medicine. And deservedly so.

While Trump has extensive executive powers from the electorate directly , in the UK by convention, he has to carefully exercise those powers as he directly derives his executive powers from being an MP leading the party with the most MPs in Parliament.

In theory any MP can become the Prime Ministers if fellow MP support him or her.

GoldenJAT:
Well spoken!! I tried imagining myself being abused based on my skin color,i kid you guys not..... My action(s) would be devastating.
No one has monopoly of madness in this life!!!

Sadly if you react that way, you will be justifying their prejudice.

Racists have a way of pushing you, goading you, provoking you and yet look innocent. They want to get you into trouble so that others who might have been saying good things behind your back, in your defense, will now buy into their prejudice. Seeing they say, is believing.

Every time you fight/shout publicly to defend yourself, racists get new converts. They see only your public reaction, not what made you react that way.

Every time you have to control yourself and bring up diaspora kids to have self-control too.

You can of course speak out the right way and confront overt racists at times.

Empiree:
What is all this now?. There must be elements of sanctions placed on SA by AU to teach them a lesson. SA recent violence is not Xenophobia but Black on Black Crime motivated by hate speech by SA authority. You don't need UN to deal with SA. You need AU if truly AU exist. SA must be isolated by AU.

As far as I am concerned, AU doesn't exist until borders linking African countries are collapsed and there is Visa free for all african countries like EU. Otherwise AU is a joke. And while AU deliberate next line of action on SA, Nigeria should independently caught off diplomatic ties with SA by any means necessary. Halt SA flights in and out of Nigeria. All SA giant companies must halt operation. All SA sea/ocean businesses in and out of nigeria must halt. We dont need to teach govt all these now.

Nigerian elite have too much economic interests in SA and SA companies operating in Nigeria. Some of their kids and grand-kids study & live there.

In the grand scheme of things, the death of a few thousands of Nigerians is regrettable BUT acceptable so long their own interests are intact.

The government might make a "knee-jerk" reaction temporarily but nothing major will change. Sadly those foreign countries know it by now.

We punch way below our weight internationally. Way below compared to where we were in the First & Second Republics.

Carlyboi:
This people are just bunches of unsympathetic pathetic clowns!i don’t know when most of these Nigerian dumbos we fall leaders or representatives wan get sense!Kai!so if they’d canceled the Summit they would still have attended abi why can’t they get on the plane since their country already boycotted.shameless sellouts

They must go oversee their loot stashed in SA na. It's a popular destination for looters.

adedayourt:
Good job by the police.

But I think the operating procedure for the police is to make arrest and charge to court.

What is the part of arrested and beaten to pulp den paraded in the street.

Dats too unprofessional and goes a long way to substantiate the name nig is being called "Zoo"

Nna eh.

Although we "form" civilised people carrying smart phones about, we still practice "taking offenders to village square to shame & humiliate". Even without realising it.

In some cases, these robbers can be lynched right in front of the police.

Whatever their offence, the penal code has a tariff for it. They should be sent to have their day in court as suspects.

dayleke:
It's division of labor we talking about here.
Everyone knows their job now. Will a lab scientist be prescribing drugs? No.
Will a Dr be reading plates on d bench? Probably but ma scientist work.
Will a Dr be filling out prescriptions? No . Na pharmacist work na.
Why can't we all just get along and let each pesin do their job?

Well, very good question.

It appears it's not actually about division of labour but politics.

Although doctors do often find themselves necessarily doing the job of other healthcare professionals. Including filling out a prescription. Alongside pharmacists, doctors, dentists, nurse prescribers and others can be independent prescribers if trained to do so. At least in the West and nobody feels threatened by it.

In the 9ja environment, gra-gra, ego and inability to pursue consensus negatively impacts on all aspects of life. The healthcare setting is just another sector affected by it.

Correcto:
You first statement shows a typical understanding of a Nigerian doctor. No one is begging doctors for more power, they are simply saying show some respect, act like a leader not a ruler. Every professional should be allow to function effectively with another hindering them. You must learn that respect is reciprocal and also disrespect is reciprocal

I can see you have very serious beef with Nigerian doctors. Jeez!

I was once accused here years ago of being a JOHESU member. Because I asserted that doctors should be more considerate towards other professionals. Like it is in advanced countries. At that point I had no idea what JOHESU was even. Yet I was accused of being a member.

I think the bad blood on both sides is now so bad that you can never win whatever you say.
I feel sorry for the patients unlucky enough to rely on people more interested in feud.

Correcto:
You need to learn a lot. My uncle is a Senior Doctor, a consultant. I once visited him and asked why the so much dispute in the health sector. He simply said the problem is Doctor's greed and lack of respect & team spirit. He said a typical Nigeria Doctor sees him/herself as a ruler. There are many unfair politics played by doctors in the health sector that is not tolerated in the western world. I can't explain it here, just find a honest doctor to explain to you.

The fact is in 9ja most people flout most things.
Give lab scientists more power and they will do worse to other non-medical health care staff.

They are only complaining now because they are not the ones dishing it out.

That was the view of one doctor. Just one. I know 9ja based doctors who treat other professionals very nicely.

In any case I was about 14 years old when a grilling by a highly placed civil servant relative made me decide I will not spend my future in Nigeria. He essentially rubbished my nack for honesty and sticking to the rules too rigidly.
I was lucky enough to realise that as a teenager. In the West every Healthcare staff sees another professional as a team member. Any student beginning clinical training on the wards knows that helping out the nurses with bloods and others is a sure way to have a good time there.

I have never understood why in 9ja they are fighting in the market place.

Correcto:
Did you read well at all, he said all medical matter. A doctor should only head his own department not other professions.

I do not know about heading all departments but the buck stops with the doctor. He's in overall charge of patient care. The doctor faces the coroner's court when things go seriously wrong.

Certainly with Radiology and Pathology, a medical consultant heads those departments. Because they are medical specialties.

A radiographer or lab scientist will not head those departments typically. This does not in anyway undermine the great job lab scientists and radiographers put in daily.

dayleke:
Na wah o...
Lab doctors kwa?

I am telling you.

Very soon the hospital porter will be wearing a stethoscope. Not to mention phlebotomists.

It might seem far fetched now but just wait a few years. I have already seen all manner of hospital people with nothing to do with auscultation already wearing them in 9ja posing on social media.

Mdaz:
A lot more

Of course.

Some even have 2 or 3 back ups for each of those men in their life. Na today?

dayleke:
This has been brewing for the longest time.
The lines have been drawn.
Why can't everyone just do their job?

PATIENTS FIRST!!!!!

In 9ja everything is fight o. No professionalism, team work or common goal. Because we politicise everything. While a few doctors might be overbearing and too proud, fact remains that most other health care professionals beef doctors for reasons not attributable to doctors themselves.

There is always this envy there somewhere maybe because most of them would have liked to be doctors.

Nigerians also want positions, prestige and privileges that their training may not be traditionally accorded. They should become more productive and gain repute for their work and those changes they want will follow. Instead of allowing a gradual evolution, they pick scapegoats.

Some lab scientists now call themselves "lab doctors".