sino

i dont do hangovers i just continue drinking lol

blue. . . . .way to go girl


well i have being basically slaughtering MI's CD

got hold of one about 2weeks ago

and thats all i blast in my car now

one of his songs caught my attention

the one in which he said, i am not a chicken am a rooster

which now brings me to this, what is the big difference between the two

asides the randiness that is, for we all know how randy roosters are, strutting around as

if the whole barn was designed for them, many a times 2 or 3 roosters chase after a poor hapless chicken

scratch, punch , claw and knock eachother off just to get some. . .

roosters are loud ass monfos . . . . . . .


the most obvious difference

chickens are females

roosters are males

what is MI really trying to say?

Wale rite?
Tat counted as smart talk. . . .and well time in sync with me will make it up to you


Kay
Nah i dint cry . . . .feel evil for not doing so,took control of a cooling van and had my eveel ways with its contents,thus if any of you see a trail of beer cans from ilorin to lagos. . .guilty as charged. . . .i have me a beer gut now

With respect to tha big m
Never use to care till i met her then i started thinking 2boys and a gurl
Now. , . . . . .am just beat

Hey
Nice one,
Yeah kay as always support you with the best way to deal with the freakin scrub, madam,pray lets have his name,place of work n what kinda car,





I know you all are tired of my wining, but Bleep it, lemmie wine, and kay if you even think about thinking about callin me a tussy wit a p i will kill you,vesc dont smatt talk me,

Went for the burial was great,cept i was ambushed by a dozen aunts asking about the m question, it wasnt funny i assure you. . . .those people are worse than hyneas. . . .they just wont let me be, that time was tickin was pressed into every fibre of my being, couldnt they see i was hurtin. . . . .she left me for a good cause too. . .where will a brother start?maybe i will walk to the nearest brothel and just present them with on of its residents. . . .for i cant love another again. . . .invested all. . . . .i swear if they bother me again, a caro,peace,hope or joy will be presented to them, i had to sneakout of town without my rents knowing, dont trust my reaction when the showdown abt my marital status comes up. . .they dont even employ tact with it anymore

If i wasnt a coward. . . .i will hav ended it wit a bullet n eventually hav d last laugh. . .but that aint my style


Why did i tell her 2years. . .i honestly am ready,i was ready last year

ok everyone seems to have deserted

i am just there,devoid of any form of emotion

i am too spent to be angry

even if i wanted to,it ain't just my life involved

i want to be selfish yet in my heart i know i cant.


**********



grandma's burial is on the 31st

some friends are coming into the country for this

looking forward to the drive to ilorin

is it funny that i find it easier to ride to ilorin than drive there?

the rent and them busibodi folks would just throw a fit

if i show up with the horse and leathers . . .

in asmuch as i cant be bothered i feel the late one deserves more than that from me



where is everyone?

i feel really and truly alone

hi all

i have being quite the errant poster

now a days ,i am not happy

neither am i angry,its a first for me. .


so i have decided to start taking a piss at the world

drink till froth starts coming out of my ears

smoke till breathe starts to fume

read till my eyes ache

snap at anyone who so much as irritate me. . .


that's the new me i think





so kay

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo is epi?

Despite that I have been seen to be married to my wife for about ten years, the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who was not my wife!" The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out,", and I can't remember who she was!" By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water. Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

@ravenzord

welcome

i had a hard time reading your write

can you please modify it next time

ali baba and the closing doors

open sesame he screamed

and the world to riches opened before him

we can push the fact that the plunder belonged

to dead merchants attacked and deprived by the marauders

or that the said riches were probably cursed the message

here is that the walls opened for alibaba,for he knew the 'magic word'

and it dint open for hazeem(i think) cos he forgot

the moral here is know the magic word and under no circumstance forget


i feel the walls closing on me yet again

circumstances plotting against me

laughing at me and conspiring with a high level of awareness

i panic,then panic again

why me? why now?. . . . . my oxygen supply starts getting shortened

my natural instincts for survival kicks in,

i start to fold and harden as i always have

a very cool trick i tells ya. . .no matter how hard the wall closes i would have enough air for me

and my hard shell cant be crushed,thus i remain in that prone position till the wall gives or breaks

somewhere in my positioning the alibaba story hits me

the walls opened for him

it dint crumble around him

the walls opening is the only way to get in or out

a better/richer man

the walls breaking means you get out alive and filthy

i feel its time to be the previous man

and not the latter,its time to stop leaving situations

alive,but hurt and dirty

it is time to leave situations

smelling of roses, carrying bags full of diamonds,rubies etc

and be made for life

its time to change my modus operandi

its time to respond to the feeling of the walls closing differently

it is time to make a fool of myself so as to attain greatness

it is time to expose my self to the risk of hurt to archive the feat of joy

it is time to stand up, stare down the closing walls

and bellow out of lungs

OPEN SESAME

it is time for the walls to listen to me

to cower from me in fear

it is time for the walls to respond

it is time for me to walk out like alibaba did

my camels all ladened with every conceivable goodies

i want,need love or have the ability to carry with me

it is time. . . .

lord Randolf and his Gutterloo


Randolf was a young chap

Randolf wanted to conquer the world

Randolf dint give a care about the world

his sword, his scabbard his heart in his sleeves

and a love for happy ending novels

sir Randolf set off,slashing and slaying

cutting and gushing,the thrill of the kill

giving him a high,Randolf fought then fought then fought

then fought ,saw opponents,go down under his knife, watched life

drain from their bodies

sir Randolf the great, he began to think to himself

sir Randolf the indestructible he began to see

sir Randolf conquers the world he began to dream

closer and then closer he wrestled towards the world

a touching distance away from claiming the world

sir Randolf got pneumonia a result of not running out of the rain

a result of not seeking shelter when his body carved the warmth

but my body dint complain he thought, my body dint tell me it wanted warmth he argued

alas for all his fight sir Randolf was indeed stupid,defeated on technicality . . . .rain

what would it have cost him to walk and seek shelter?

what would it have cost him to admit to get warm?

what would it have taken to leave the abstract quest for the world

and take on the practical need to rest,show the body some love

before forging on in his quest. . . . . . . .

his body consumed by the sickness

he falls to the ground ravaged by the ailment

his eyes begin to close

the sights begin to fade

and fade

and fade

and fade

and fade

and fade

and fade

and fade

and fade. . . . . . .

Driving in LAS GIDIS

1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)

3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos , potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend ur whole saturday @ the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos . Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos .

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.
- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.
Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

blue. . . . .

i dont know what is happening

but it seems to me that you

are going through 'the kill em' phase

hmm,that was me 12years ago

which brings me to the existence of this thread

yeah i kill them, yeah i pull them hairs out of its root

yeah i cut them open and dice them like minced meat

yeah i perforate them porously

but i do it on paper(ok thats a lie)

i do it on paper 90% of the time(another lie)

i do it on paper about half them time

the remaining half is spent wrestling with actually doing it

or what tha hell' i unleash

the trip is this weigh your options

for as kay said

the stupid things we do live with us for life





you know i always got ya back

i always hated her

looking so outta shape

every single time i have had

encounter with her na soso wahala

it got to the extent that i became a source of ridicule

amongst peers

why?

na only me dey?

go and meet kay9 i thought

better yet vesc would be more accommodating

i don't know him but kay9 implies he is pussy(vesc are you actually pussy i mean a woman?)

why wont she just frigging not come back?

i have pushed

i have pressed

i have forcefully squeezed

she still wont budge

mum dint seem to understand

be patient she says

patience my foot

i hate it

thus i every day

i mean every waking moment

that my hands arent engaged

it is spent roving across my face

searching for erring pimples







ps: my bike cameback the day before

it feels good mounting her again

legs astride, hugging firmly

steady throbbing in between the legs

everything becomes a blurr

i had better say what i gotta right now

before work slaps the energy outta me

have you ever had work slap even the zeal to get mad outta you?

if you havent then a day doing what i do might just be best for ya


@kay9

who is MS tickles

i got a problem with it?

someone you know?

a beer drinking buddy peharps?




@vesc

i still hate ya

@blu

hey

@everyone

hey

at everyone outside of the everyone

you can suck on my middle finger

i know i have erred in my absence

but if i tell you why

you wont believe me

so why tell. . . . . ?

shoot em shoot em shoot em

what has cliff got to do with it?

kay9 his /their coming here would be an annihilation

and no fun atall, its fun when you take it to the enemy on his own turf

they feel settled and in control

big mistake !!!!