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I could feel the steps coming nearer and for a moment I paused to look back. It was pitch dark but there was definitely a presence approaching and fast too.

I sought out the closest shrubbery and snuck behind it feeling confident that it was thick enough to obscure me from whatever was coming. Sweat trickled down my face as I blinked hard in the darkness trying to make out a shape listening very hard for the steps.

A cloud of blackness swept swiftly across my line of vision bringing with it a cold breath like I had never felt before. My breath was stuck in my chest and I could only hear the thud of my heart. It moved with such speed that I was unable to discern its nature. And the smell was that of death. Paralysed, I wanted to believe I would wake up from this nightmare yet I knew this was real and happening.

I was supposed to be prepared but how was I to know it would be tonight? I waited a few minutes and peeked out towards the burning candle.




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"I can tell she's somewhere close" said the taller of the two in a strange guttural tone. I prayed they would not hear the pounding of my heart which was threatening to deafen me. The sound of rustling leaves about six feet away was like a knife though the silent night. Both set off towards the sound. I tried to take a deep breath to fill my lungs which were about to collapse. In what seemed like a millisecond, they were both back. "This could not be happening'", I thought to myself trying frantically to recall all mama taught me that strange night so long ago.

"The power to fly at a height of 25 feet requires three important items; knowing what you are fleeing from, thinking of flying and saying this word aloud three times, "
Why can I not recall the word tonight when I need it the most? I close my eyes for the briefest second, any longer could spell disaster.

For one, these are not men in the strict sense of the word. They seemed to communicate even without words. I could not see their faces from where I crouched. I could feel the muscles in my calf tightening but that would have to wait.

After what seemed like an eternity, they started walking away from me.

Did life pass me by? Were all those years wasted? I may never know the answer. Of the things I am sure of, one is how I feel when I am with you. Even at the lowest ebbs, seeing you was always soothing. So where did we or I go wrong. At times I wonder if I did something very wrong to have gone through this experience and I think back to those pranks I played on my classmates in elementary and high schools. Yes, maybe I was really bad.

Bad I may have been but I am really sorry and pray for forgiveness so the question still remains how on earth I had to come accross you and could never let go.

Those times we laughed together and agreed on everything were surreal. Strange enough, we never had any quarrels until,

Oh well, surreal is the right word. that's why it did not last. Wake up call was really tough on me. I  looked up to you for some sort of encouragement but the look in your eyes said it all. "Run now before its too late".  I could not understand it even though I saw it. This is your family, how bad could it be. .You talked about your "soul" or "spirit" being troubled. I was in denial.


Denial. I say, know and accept the truth, then make a move. Before that, you are basically lost. I saw other people too. Loving, kind, gentlemanly, Oh yes, I had a whole list of criteria. I was not going to get bitten twice. Above all, no strong emotions from my end. It is not a pleasant experience to have one party plea with the other to continue a relationship. Through all these, I never stopped thinking about you, how perfect it was and believing it could be again. Some miracle, or magic.

Not once did I give you the impression that I could even feel for anyone else. Maybe I should have done that. But how could I ever hurt you? I always wanted you to feel good about yourself and have confidence in me. Now you know I was no saint.

Saint or not, you always had a secure spot in my heart.

@kay9
Patience my friend,

"Series" you know.

I have written this a million times in my head and a billion more on paper but today I write this and believe it is time you see it. Many have asked me what explains my action. Is it the money? Money? Me? Sometimes I wish it was that. Then I would have eased my financial burden with the money. Another query was does it have to do with the looks? Maybe that too would have been easier as I picked every flaw in your features, focused on it but failed to act differently.

I dreamed , oh how I wished for the "perfect scenario" and never stopped believing it will be even when everyone else stated otherwise. Was it age? I think not.
Was the feeling blind? No. The good in you was all I saw, even your parents were blind to it. How I saw it I will never be able to explain. So how could they understand it if they did not know it?

I tried oh so hard to get rid of the feeling. This is not love but then it is. Analytically, I run through the series and events and tell myself that you are good but bot for me. I could not stop the feeling. Where did my brains go? Rewind, Review, Reassess, Oh Lord I am in Enzymology class and you are still on my mind. How did I get those grades? They were A's.

Maybe if I had the tricks up my sleeve to deal with it, things would have turned out better. I was in the driver seat but didn't know it. Never had the chance to be tutored in the ways of women. How was I to know that you were the weaker sex in this play or game of life? I looked to you for direction, that was wrong and painful too.

Pain, pain , Oh for years you caused me so much pain. Even though I was forewarned it still hurt. Would it be that you be my person and I not suffer this much. Do I blame you for it? No, not now, not then and not ever. You hoped and prayed that I would lead but I never knew. Not being the traditional role for me, I just never knew.