₦airaland Forum

coogar:
dakore is still better.
there's this babe called jumobi that used to anchor on AIT when i was still in naija. she was ridiculously fit, every kid on my block then used to crush on her - i think she married RMD or a big shot actor in nollywood & she disappeared for a while.

the next time i saw her.....she looked at least 30 times bigger than what she was pre-marriage. nigeria is the only country post-birth tummy remains permanent on women. the truth is - women don't marry in nigeria to please their husbands - they mostly do it to have children. pleasing the husband is secondary.

coogar:
it's not so black & white.
in a way, you can hardly blame married men that cheat. the only thing that can make a man go outside is because what he has inside is no longer attractive to him.

what is the role of the wives in this? that's what you should be looking at? women just generally stop trying to look good especially after having a child or two. what's a man supposed to do when tri-weekly sėx becomes bi-monthly sėx?

he should go to divorce court & chase out the mother of his children? cheating is the easier option. it's not like i am condoning this but women cannot just add 20kg out of nowhere & expect to still be attractive to their husbands.

coogar: it's very sad your intelligence doesn't stick out like your nipplês do.

pickabeau1: Why dont they leave the marriage for the 'despicable' husband?

Since i cant have him, no one else win.. why dont these women let the useless man go?

logicboy01: I feel that you are too young or simple minded on this issue. Life is not a bed of roses.
Marriage is difficult....talkless about marriage between 3 or more people

logicboy01: Dont call me misogynistic abeg. Dont use that word lightly.
Please, understand what an analogy is. I never said that the women in polygamy are slaves (although they have slave-like reasoning).
Note that I am not also talking about ALL women. Just some women who have chosen to be shared like a toy. Husband with 4 wives works 9-5 from monday to friday....has only 6 hours to meet them on monday to friday evening before he sleeps. out of those 6 hours, he will waste 1 hour coming from work. 5 hours left. Do you think those five hours a day on weekdays is enough time to emotionally connect with wives?
1 hour each for each wife.....shared like a toy

logicboy01: Slavery also cant work if men dont sell their brethren into slavery and slaves do not revolt.


You and BABE3 are pointless.


You talk as if women dont make wrong choices.

logicboy01:
I will leave you to deceive yourself that such things are easy.
You have probably blinded yourself to the fights and struggle for property/assets that polygamy has wrecked on many Nigerian families.
Maybe when you have seen a friend busted for tax evation or filled a tax form yourself, you will understand

logicboy01:

because women cant make wrong choices abi?

mtchew

logicboy01: Of course, I will support any wife that wants to leave polygamy.


If all the parties agree, who is then going to go through the wahala of reconciling their public records? How do you tax a man with four wives sensibly? How do you divide the assets or inheritance of a family with four wives?

If a man has four wives, how does one divide a compound into four? Who then owns the property when the man dies? Who owns the deeds to the house? Do you think western society rejects polygamy without thinking?

Do you know that wills are contested? Do you know that many even die without wills?

A monogamous marriage is very easy to settle in times of divorce, inhertiance and settlements. It will easily be between the alive spouse and children.

logicboy01: Dont be silly.

Marriage is a contract regulating a relationship between individuals recognized by the state.

Concubines and baby mamas are not a recognized union/relationship. You dont get tax reductions and considerations as a concubine.

Polygamy wants to expand the marriage contract to be between more than two people. Tufiakwa! Haram!!!

coogar: don't mind that troll who cannot tell his left hand from his right. the level of stüpidity some people exude is baffling!

coogar: there are polygamous families in britain!
and the only thing you should close is your stupid mouth that has shytë falling from it. if you cannot grasp the concept of polygamy, you should excuse yourself & scram out of here.

cococandy: Doesn't even apply because I've never seen a man denied a job as a nursery teacher or even a nurse before.
No organization will do that

cococandy: I doubt anyone with sense will count a woman fiddling with a boy's penis or(sickeningly) sucking on it as giving care.
I'd slug a person who passes such judgment.


The emphasis in my opinions should be laid on giving boys as much sex education as is given to girls.
That prejudice wouldn't exist solely against male offenders if female offenders were reported more often.

The stigmatization didn't just start one day. It started with countless reports and reports of molest cases.I'd bet it would have been balanced stigmatization if boys reported sexzual abuse too as often.

But how will they when no one paid them the same attention when it comes to discussing sexx issues.? They are basically allowed to be 'MEN'.sexxually unhindered and unfettered.

Parents are to blame really.
Maybe men aren't that more sexually aggressive like we are made to believe just that they've been allowed to grow unchecked.

How then do we turn around and blame those who are wary of their 'expected' sexual attitude?
When I was a growing girl,I was taught that getting close to a boy could get me pregnant instantly and ruin my life forever.
Needless to say,I closed my legs very tightly.

I watched my younger brother grow and he wasn't told that getting close to a girl would get the girl pregnant.he wasn't even told to be wary of girls.

Like I said before,we are reaping the results of our double standards.

cococandy: Don't underestimate societal hype.
I won't lie that I'm not a victim of such mind positioning.
So yes before now I'd probably be more comfortable with a female taking care of my son than a male taking care of my daughter.

But with increasing awareness of male kids molest cases,I may have to start fearing for the safety of my male child too.
We learn everyday.


For most people it may not even be because they don't think females can harm male kids,it may be more because everyone is more concerned about sheltering the female child(sexually)
If female molest cases get reported more,then invariably everyone feels males commit the molest offense more. I can't put stock in news I never or rarely ever heard.so can you blame them or do you blame those who choose not to report?

Why is it that males' molest cases don't get reported much?

Is it that the boys don't mind being molested?

Or that the parents have failed to teach them that anyone touching them inappropriately is wrong?
But same parents will rather concentrate on 'cocooning' the girls as they are the ones who are 'meant to be pure and sexually reserved'?

I think we are reaping a direct effect of such double standards.

You're of the school of thought that women have more to lose by engaging in sexual acts than males.
So I'd wager you carry your daughters like eggs and drum the sealed legs message into their ears while not giving the boys the same conditions.

Hence even small boys may not see it as a big deal if an older female touches them wrongly.
Hence they don't report more often.

With only the cases of female molest making the air waves,do you blame those who are more afraid for their daughters than their sons?

cococandy: That's why I'm sort of on the fence with this issue.
For logic and political correctness,I would probably wholly be on the same page with banana bender but what happens if I have a baby tomorrow and discover I'm not comfortable leaving her intimate care with a strange guy?
I'd feel like a hypocrite then.

Not that females don't abuse male kids but why is it that the incidences in which a guy was the abuser are higher?

Food for thought.

All this baby talk makes me a lil uncomfortable sha. I won't lie

rolled: Women are not saints
Sadists exist in both genders
A school close to my house,the female teacher was using pencil on one of her students vag Ina
But everything is preference
If my daughter was still in either pre or nursery classes,I would just prefer a female teacher

BananaBender: We have many male nurses ashamed of their profession because of people like you that believe care-giving is a woman's field?



You also haven't heard of females molesting younger males?? Do you know that many male kids molested by their female caregivers/family members do not report this situation?

Stop the "to each her own" bullsh1t. You can't use "to each her own" excuse when your prejudice mentality is affecting the lives of other people. Your choice is affecting another person negatively. You're denying that young male that wants to own a care-service business or work in one. You are teaching male kids that care giving is a woman's job. Don't you fvcking understand?! What if your child asks you, "Mommy, why does 'Pelumi' have only female teachers in her nursery school?"

I am blown away. Coming from the female gender? People that should know what it means to be denied *something because the society believes they are not 'fit' for such.

bukatyne: Are we really judging?

Sophyrocks: If you steal, what does that make you? A thief!! You can have the most income but cannot necessarily be the HEAD. That is why you see women who have the most income but still have husbands who holistically carry out their responsibilities regardless. if you provide for every single basic necessity of life in the home as required of a Head, what have you become? the Head!! You cannot be the Head and absolve yourself of all responsibilities attached to being the Head. Being the head is all about the roles you play.

ladygogo: I wonder why these women are still enabling their husbands though. Chai.

Sophyrocks: And since when diid i become a feminist? who gave you such an idea? is this thread about feminism or you are just being paranoid? why can't you just let go of feminism for just a second? why must everything be about feminism?

Sophyrocks: I am not married. So? i believe the man is the Head. but being the head is all about the role you play in the family. Being the Head is not just a position like a president of a country. It is defined by responsibilities.

Sophyrocks: Please define the role of the Head of a family. ANYBODY WHO PLAYS THAT ROLE IN THE HOME, MALE OR FEMALE, IS THE HEAD. As a man who calls himself the head, are you to sit down and allow your wife play your role for you?

blueberryp: Na wa for una o, r u guys trying to say any man that dies was killed by the wife just because she isn't wearing black, starving and carrying a gloomy face? This is the 21st century for crying out loud, people die, we have to move on. People grieve differently pls. Will mourning and torturing urself bring the dead person back, or will it take him to heaven?

perry2020: Who said there is nothing like arranged legal marriage,there is where a stipulated amount of money will be paid with agreement and it is only fools they catch,a neighbour of mine here in UK got married may and e was given ez papers a week ago ,he paid the babe 6000pounds.so what are u saying??many people both Africans and non-africans do it a lot here,because of the wider opportunities gotten by citizens.
Although I ain't a party to it bt it ain't as hard and complicated as some people take it.

Sophyrocks: Oh God Almighty, thank you sooooooo much for bestowing me with wisdom. I'm soooo happy for you to have built me up differently from the Typical Nigerian/ female. Sometimes, i just believe i dnt belong here at all. Which is why my location is planet jupiter. Thank you.

smokescreen4: I don't know, on a second thought may she grieves differently like at night when she's alone? it's just that she looks so darn rested and pretty during the day.

bennyrazz: what is the nature of the illness? there are gradual poisoning that manifest in form of illness so for a woman to be celebrating her husband's death, there is more to it and she should be questioned.

Godmystrength: and where did i give such conclusion? this is what i posted

while your post might make some sense, i think you quoted the wrong person

Godmystrength: When ladies say all men are cheats, the men raise a lot of hell. Now ladies are saying that not all men are cheats and the men are still raising a lot of hell saying ladies that believe men don't cheat are just deceiving themselves. na wa o......
My own conclusion is that the non-cheating men are not on NL today

carefreewannabe: It isn't a racial issue at all. Many white people beat their kids, too. It has changed in some white countries, not all.