₦airaland Forum

Godmouth: I have several: I will use the one with my own pastor and my own personal example. A respected man of God here in the UK was told by his member (a lady) about a man who proposed to her and promised commitment and mariage. She was totally convinced by this guy as he was near faultless in his approach and proposal to the lady. She brought it to her shepherd (Apostle) and he invited the man to his office for him to introduce himself. Astonishinly God revealed to this man of God that this so-called suitor is false and had been married to two women before in Nigeria. Using my own example, I met a Christain lady whom I became fond of and gravitated towards her and mutual feelings developed and we found ourselves in a relationship. I believed she was my suitable helper. I had dreams (she had dreams too) making us believe God was speaking to us that we were meant to be together. When I presented it to my pastor (she wasn't convinced and said I should seek God more for concrete evidence. I went by my own intuition/dreams I and this lady had, believing God was behind us. However it became clear to this lady and I that our judgement has been clouded by emotions and desires.

You see the reason why I said God would rather speak through a minister/pastor (70%) of the time is because most people become biased in terms of hearing God: when it comes to inquiring about a man/woman for a spouse. Numerous examples I have which I can't really type all here.

Your examples are not concrete enough and do not have biblical support. Yes, I do not doubt the revelations of God through his ministers but I will never agree that God will not reveal some things to you except you share it with your pastor. That to my understanding has no biblical root.

However, God may reveal stuff to your pastor when you are very insensitive or willingly suppressing information to stop you from entering a gulf but He will never withhold information about your life from you.

The lady you described already believed she cannot hear God herself by your description, hence she resorted to telling her pastor. While in your case, your dreams came because of the many emotions you already stuffed up for the lady. And who says the pastors themselves cannot be deceived? You need to read the bible well to know that we all as christians have the mind of Christ and by the spirit we know all things......

coogar: they should continue looking - the more they look, the more heartbroken they get. many of them have paid hundreds of thousands to fake spiritualists. some have even used their bodies in the process. being too over-religious can erode one's common sense.

If they don't look, the commercial religious folks will lack customers... . They are helping in keeping the food chain stable with their ignorance and "religiosity"...

^^^ Eagle,eye na babe?

coogar: the friend is female.....
men rarely seek these spiritual answers when looking for their brides but women would comb every nook & cranny to look for answers like they are not sure of their choice.

Thanks for pointing it out, wanted to write she....


They run to spiritual houses because they seek assurance of what lies ahead. In most times, they do it the wrong way and out of fear which these commercial pastors capitalise on....

angiemartinez: would you now leave the person you have been dating becos of what your pastor said? to me i would rather seek the face of God myslf, no matter the revelation and prophesy, prayer can change all that. pastors must have something to say

There are some things God reveals to you so you can take preventive actions/precautions and not just pray. No, prayer doesn't change some things.

Godmouth: To answer this question. I would say both 70% yes and 30% no. God chooses to speak a lot through his servants (ministers) whom the person involved is directly under. The man/woman should seek God for themselves too so they have both confirmations. Sometimes God would not speak to a person until they have put it forward to their shepherd/pastor.

Can you back the bolded up with a credible and convincing evidence?

Mrs mansson: I dnt understand some pple and this Ex thing
My cousin is in hot soup now for Ex matter
I still love my Ex,i still have feelings blah blah

It is the danger inherent in eating apple in the garden. Once eaten, forever will torment especially if it was newly ripe and uncultivated apple. The grip will be very strong and grievous.

The advice is not to even smell the taste not to talk of eating... He doesn't love the ex, he lust her... He is missing her sister ruth with the other deborah and dorcas in the upper region....

Your friend is not yet ripe to be married. He is not matured emotionally and spiritually.

Only babes are driven about with every wind of doctrine. Whatever a pastor will tell you should be a confirmation of what you already know.

The first step to a blissful and prosperous union is to understand the purpose and essence of marriage. Marriage is not to turn any member of the union to a slave but for helping each other. To be an help-meet to each other.

Understanding this straightforward and simple meaning will go a lot in making a home worthy of emulation. Help-meet means to help each other accomplish a set goal in a mutual arrangement.

The lady is more skillful in some areas than the guy and vice-versa. The two parties come together to apply their resourcefulness for the betterment of the home.

Before I forget, I need the address in Benin..... This food must not pass me by.............

[quote author=Erelu_Y]. Also, if you understood my post, you should have realized we helped with no strings attached and even withdrew at the slightest opportunity once we realized his warped mentality. So crossed this morning.[/quote]I read and understood perfectly your post and frustration. What I meant by doing things without expectation is giving room for the stupidity in the heart of men like the one you painted here. If you had factored in this situation from the beginning, you wouldn't be this cross. Meanwhile, I am not saying you shouldn't be annoyed at his actions, infact you have every right to. I am only appealing that you resort to this in subsequent helps you will render.

OP,

If you need a lady whose food is so sweet that even the angels come down to eat, I will arrange one for you at an affordable cost.... Ask from CC and YPP, they can bear me witness even Chilli is part of the outsourcing team ...


The way to a man's heart is the mouth/stomach......

I always have problem with a general statement. The fact that a Nigerian did something unworthy doesn't warrant you painting all Nigerians with the same brush. You are also a Nigerian yourself. It is not a function of race nor culture but wickedness that resides in the hearts of men irrespective of race, culture and gender.

My advice to you is when you set to help people, do it with no strings attached and no expectations whatsoever. With this you will not be disappointed by the shortcomings of people. If because of the disappointment of one, you close your eyes to others in need, how will you feel if God repays you for all your shortcomings against Him?

Do good to all and be wise while doing it. It is well with you

What advice does he need?

How to bed the ex and get away with it?

or how to marry her as second wife?

Phema: Thanks. That means we will have to provide plates, pots, spoons, ushers etc. Was thinking it will be less stressful to contract the whole food ish out.

Let's see then. . .

In that case, ask for her per plate price and compare the cost with private plans....

Sometimes, the per plate do fail because you may end up having more guests than planned for. The caterer will not give a damn about who don't get served once the budget is exhausted....

pickabeau1: On this matter.. I will give a robust response in due time

Oh no... I don't like robust response, it takes forever to be ready....

[quote author=eagle,eye]I think it will be more expensive paying per plate. Buy what she will need for the cooking, and pay her for the services rendered.[/quote]I second this..... Meanwhile, you guys have to make good agreement with the caterer to the satisfaction of the guests

yellowpawpaw: Mr Bellong!
Where r thou, Coogar is romancing moi here!

Coogar, this is the first warning for you. If the only Yellow paw paw we have here report you again, I will turn you hoodless......

Be warned...

YPP, I have warned him, he is an obedient person.. Am sure he has taken to my warning

Op, say the truth, who is the person involved?

Chilli and Jenny, the resident priest of this thread needs you for holy water sprinkling.....

Phema: Abeg, don't come and finish my food with your big stomach.

Oya, give your own tips jor.

Finish ke, 15 plates of rice and 50 wraps of pounded yam are enough for me.....

Congrats in advance. I also did the wedding celebration on my birthday.....

As for the planning, my simple advice is that for the day, have people that will manage every aspect of the program. For example, somebody in charge of food, another drinks, another to coordinate activities, etc.. With this, you know who to hold responsible for failure in any areas...

Have a budget and stick to it....

Short, precise and on point

Good morning everybody.......................

When is the day so I can start preparing my stomach ahead of time......

Lerrie John: My dear brown sugar please do not listen to all those saying you should break up, unless that is really what you want and you are not confused after all. That said, getting married is not an easy thing. Marriages are made in heaven and them haters aren't happy so lots of temptations will definitely come your way even right up to your wedding day. My advise to you ( if you are I love with this man n want to be his wife) is to call your fiancé and apologise for grabbing his phone and insulting him ( you were wrong to do that, no matter how upset u must have been) after which tell him you would like to talk to him. ( here you need enough maturity, no insulting nor tantrums) tell him you are not happy that this girl calls often and it makes you feel unhappy or hurt or whatever it is you are feeling. In your post you said the girl wrote you took her man but you never said anything about what your fiancé's response was. It is possible it's the girl calling your fiancé and he's probably not interested. As for your fiancé saying he doesn't wanna marry anymore, a guy will say anything when he' s stressed or in this case when his ego is bruised, so don't take his hurtful words to heart. Just try and clear things between yourself and your man before thinking of calling your wedding off.
Lots of luck gal!

I do not interfere with people's opinion because I believe everybody is entitled to his/her opinion but I take exception to the rule when it comes to a general statement.

I stand to disagree that a guy will say anything when he is stressed. I would rather put it this way that a boy and an immature guy will say anything when he is stressed. A male who cannot tame his anger and control his emotions in the heat of an argument is not fit to marry and not fit to be called head of a home because there will be many opportunities in the future to be angry. Will he then keep saying anything everytime he is stressed? How will such a home be in peace, how will the wife feel everytime he says anything and keep claiming he doesn't mean it.... Out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaks...

Whatever a man says when he is angry has been planned but had no way of coming out. Anger is just an opportunity to let it out. Anger is equivalent to alcohol, a drunken person will reveal all the hidden secrets in his heart during his state of stupor.

The guy painted in this scenario is not yet ripe for marriage including the OP. They both lack anger and conflict management. Even if they will marry, I will advise that they postpone their wedding for them to train and educate themselves on anger and conflict management.

Kx: The guy was "managing" the whole scene until you provoked this episode.
The existence of the girl was not in doubt but he had already settled for u instead of the other girl.
My advice is for you to initiate the peace move, because apparently the drum beat of war weda we admit it or not, was initiated by u.
As at now, the guy, being egostist like most men are, would be waiting for your call to make a truce and move on with the plan.
Again, in things of marriage, your interest should superceed your parents interests.
Worry less about ur parents and worry more about how sad/happy you d be if the marriage is called off, if you trully love/despise the guy.

Do you really think she needs to apologize? For what?

If what the OP described here is the truth, what will she apologize for? To an unfaithful person caught off-guard and who couldn't even come up with diplomatic tactics to resolve but resort to abuse.

Sorry, I missed out the part you said you are a good cook. If you have read what I posted earlier, pls disregard it.

Which embarrassment? That you have to part ways with someone that will make your life miserable till death/divorce do you part?

One of the big problems plaguing people is thinking about what people will say. People that have no concern about your well-being or good state?

It is good that things are happening now before being joined. It is better you call off the wedding, explain to your parents and I believe they will understand. After which take your time and do it right.

Disregard my initial comment

I have made a covenant with my eyes and heart, why should I read Yekinni things...

Pour holy water and holy ghost fire on thread and walks sanctimoniously to the altar to ask for forgiveness on behalf of Coogar, Jenny, Chilli, Steph and Ile....

Since you told her off in a respectful manner, you did the right thing. Do not feel guilty nor allow her manipulate you emotionally. She will soon apologize.

No matter what, nobody has the right to say to an adult that he/she will slap. It is not the right attitude and I disagree that it is due to old age. Old age doesn't make people irresponsible with words and comments but rather more matured.

kreami diva: good step. life is too short to live in fear,panic and misery

Hey how are you, hope you are fine now?

It is well