₦airaland Forum

bebe,

why do you want your married friends to still have your own friendship above their spouse's. eh?

Spouses are supposed to be each other's best friends.

Pray to God to give you a husband who will also be your best friend.


chikena!!!!

@maxpecas,

you may be right you know! Do you know that some blocks of flat in a Singapore's major city are built without kitchens. when i asked why? they said becos you are expected to eat out!!!!

My wife is an excellent cook. She even surprises me at times by going out of her ways to make meal times fun times. However, Whenever we are anything with fried eggs, (potatoes or bread or yam or anything at all.) She encourages me to do the frying of the eggs, because she says mine always tastes better.

That is propbably from the way I have learnt to mix the eggs with all the ingredients (addittions like meat, fish, sardines, liver, kidney, tomato, onions, garlic etc.) and fry in hot deep oil.

I learnt this from my mum over my secondary school old days when we (from a family of boys only) did the cooking ourselves wgile mumsie was at work.

It' fun sha, even if the wife can cook, the husband should help her out and join her. It helps the bonding in marriage.

Talking about my wife's food makes me hungry; it is 7:00 pm here. I'm shutting down and rushing home to her food. I know she has another suprise for me tonight.

Bye all,

My wife is an excellent cook. She even surprises me at times by going out of her ways to make meal times fun times. However, Whenever we are anything with fried eggs, (potatoes or bread or yam or anything at all.) She encourages me to do the frying of the eggs, because she says mine always tastes better.

That is propbably from the way I have learnt to mix the eggs with all the ingredients (addittions like meat, fish, sardines, liver, kidney, tomato, onions, garlic etc.) and fry in hot deep oil.

I learnt this from my mum over my secondary school old days when we (from a family of boys only) did the cooking ourselves wgile mumsie was at work.

It' fun sha, even if the wife can cook, the husband should help her out and join her. It helps the bonding in marriage.

Talking about my wife's food makes me hungry; it is 7:00 pm here. I'm shutting down and rushing home to her food. I know she has another suprise for me tonight.

Bye all,

Na wah o!

I don't even know what to say here.

What kind of love were you playing so much as to allow this girl have access to vital information such as your certificates when (I am sure you know that) you were going to send her packing, eh?   Yes now, you cannot say you did not play her along while strategizing this scheme of yours to ditch her.

Someone that exhibits this kind of action can do more oooo!   Did she get hold of the certificates before you fashied her or after? Well sha my brother, since you sef your true role get as e be, if I were in your shoes and all I want back is my certificates (and nothing more) I will be very diplomatic about it.

Make sure that in resolving this matter it is a Win-Win situation o. Make sure she is happy as well as you are happy, Do not try to win while she loses o!

From what I read about this girl, what if she releases the ceretificates and swears that nothing better will come out of it (using jazz I mean).   Do you really need that much stress from an ex?

Please call her, negotiate something you can afford with her and settle the matter and just delete the whole issue from your memory.

Cheers and good luck.

N.B. You can ask your pastor to pray for you before you go o!!!!

heard of it too, long time ago sha.

I used to drink and smoke occassionally. I did this for a long time and I never got addicted. I only drink and smoke when I find myself, by circumstances, in the midst of fellow drinkers and smokers and that is like once/twice a month. But then I can go for days or weeks without drinking or smoking.

I think smoking and drinking (with fellow smokers and drinkers) is not bad. I do not expect a smoker to light up a cigarette while in the midst of non-smokers, whether they be your wife, girlfriend, children or friends.

But then sha, I find it somehow coool when I go to social functions and I meet ladies that smoke/drink, even where I don't!

Hey tEsLim,

What you've enumerated above comes to pass in a man's life from time to time (because life isn't supposed to be a bed of roses; even roses have thorns) and I know different people have different ways of getting out of their problem(s).

I'll share my own belief cos I have been there a few times. Like a couple of contributors said before me, you really need to evaluate yourself and circumstances to see what brought this predicament upon you in the first place, and seriously too, you need to be truthful to your self.

Then evaluate your position, once you know what went wrong, and plot a way out fast! Once you find out what steps to take to get you out of the mess, then take action.

And lastly but most importantly, PRAY! I have found myself in some situations that after doing all I can do, I prayed and God intervened in such a way that I never thought possible.

My conclusion:- After man has done what man can do; that is when God will do what only He can do (and man can't do).

Or to put it the other way round:- God will only do His own bit when you have done your own bit; don't expect or wait for Him to do your own part.

The Bible says (pls don't ask me the verses): , 'when'[/i] trouble comes, : not 'if'[i] trouble comes,

Hey tEsLim,

What you've enumerated above comes to pass in a man's life from time to time (because life isn't supposed to be a bed of roses; even roses have thorns) and I know different people have different ways of getting out of their problem(s).

I'll share my own beliefe cos I have been there a few times. Like a couple of contributors said before me, you really need to evaluate yourself and circumstances to see what brought this predicament upon you in the first place, and seriously too, you need to be truthful to your self.

Then evaluate your position, once you know what went wrong, and plot a way out fast! Once you find out what steps to take to get you out of the mess, then take action.

And lastly but most importantly, PRAY! I have found myself in some situations that after doing all I can do, I prayed and God intervened in such a way that I never thought possible.

My conclusion:- After man has done what man can do; that is when God will do what only He can do (and man can't do).

Or to put it the other way round:- God will only do His own bit when you have done your own bit; don't expect or wait for Him to do your own part.

The Bible says (pls don't ask me the verses): , 'when'[/i] trouble comes, : not 'if'[i] trouble comes,

The perception of people differ a lot on smoking cigarettes.

I attended a christain forum recently where smoking was condemned so much that I felt it was too much. In as much as I accept that it has very negative effects on health, can we really say it is a sin?

If so, will the taking of sugar by a diabetic person or taking of salt by a person with high blood pressure (hypertensive) which equally have deadly consequencies qualify as a sin in the same manner as cigarettes?

Can our bible scholars please help me by showing where the bible specifically condemns this as sin?

eko4sho; alanbolo; marco74;

Another point here is that you never know the extent to which such answers to this thread can be useful! U never can tell, I ,might need the services of say, a business analyst or a tax consultant in a particular place and I can network on this site and get the contact I need.

Though I get eko4sho's point but my own point is that you just do your best and leave the rest. As long as you know that you are telling the truth and calling a spade a spade, whoever wants, let him call it ' an instrument/device for tilling ground', na him sabi!

So eko4sho, Can you describe your job?

I own my own Real Estate franhise for one of the top real Estate Companies here. I love it, I love the challenges.

Every day is different. Each comes with its own challenges; and blessings. and I work with very wonderful people. I look forward to going to work everyday, seven days a week, though I have a very flexible time-table because I resume anytime and close any time as long as I have justified my day.

Like now its 1st of May, (May Day). I am the only one in the office and I have closed two deals already. I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!

I am looking for a financial partner/investor with whom I can buy a real estate franchise in South Africa. The market is booming now as a result of expectations of 2010 world cup. I have identified one and need to conclude. Anyone interested?

Thanks LondonCool!

And just to add, I have been married for the past seven years (going to eighth).

[quote][/quote]I know of a guy who was working with Ecobank far back in the early - mid 90s as a manager. He met his to-be-wife who was also employed by another bank then. A few weeks after meeting, the girl was posted to Abuja and the guy to somewhere in the east. They were communicating by phone for the next six months and after they got married that Christmas (about six-seven months later).

They both got transfered back to Lagos and the guy had problems at work and had to leave. Soon after (with a kid and only the wife working); the wife's bank went under. The guy was thereafter only patching things up finding what to do here and there.

Things were so tough for them but the girl never left him all throughout but kept supporting.

They are both relocated abroad now ( with three kids) and their love is still very strong and the envy of some people that had loooooong courtships.

I also do not believe in long courtship, I met my wife in March, we had introduction in June, did registry wedding in August and Church wedding in December, all in the same year.

We are still very happily married now, with two kids and do everything together. We run our company together jointly and though we really have gone through a few rough patches, they have only bonded us together the more.

The most important thing is to ask God (before you meet the person) at a time you know you are ready for marriage; to bring you to meet the "bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh". If you ask for this after meeting the girl, the answer you'll get will be biased and not from God.

I wish everyone yet to embark on this sacred journey the very best because from what I have seen around me even amongst my very close friends, the next worst thing other than being in jail is to be in a wrong marriage.

lilian,

haba, wetin? na fight?

Abeg, make you enter this sista oh!

I first taught my wife to drive with an automatic gear. Then she couldn't drive a manual car. Then, I taught her with a manual car and she ended up burning out the clutch. I had to spend money to repair/replace the clutch and I found out it would have been much better if I had spent the money on a driving school in the first place!

ka chineke mezie okwu

whatever that means; SAME TO YOU!

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I tire o!


See me see trouble. Na so these bastard boys dey always send all this kind funny e mails even to my office e mail address wey be say na only me be naija there o. Thank God say my oga don dey hear many many stories about 419 (similar t the oprah own) wey no make am begin dey wonder say this naija guy sef?

I remember when I first come this land in my job hunting-days about five years ago, one day I went for an interview at one of the top financial institutions here, after passing the written test, passing psychometric test, passing the oral interview with my own manager-to-be, passing interview with regional manager, I now met with the regional director with whom the final decision lies.

This guy came into the round table interview, asked a very polite question and I answered. He immediately picked I was foreigner, asked where I was from and I said I was from Nigeria. (Apparently, he watched a 1 hour exposee on Nigerians (of course igbos) and various frauds on the local National television just the night before, and he made it clear to me in no hidden intent that there was no way I could be successful at the post they were going to offer me (Financial Consultant - job is to advise clients on various investment portfolios both locally and off-shore).

I asked why and what he meant, and he said they were not willing; nor going to, even though I was very excellent at the interview and met all their requirements and expectations, jeopardize the expectations of their clientele, moreso in a very competitive and volatile financial market, by employing me, a Nigerian, to oversee their portfolios and make recommendations thereon. In as much as I tried to talk my way round it (I was new in their job market then unlike now wey be say me sef don dey employ people) but this guy's mind was made up because the memories of the TV show was fresh and too much for him.

He offered me a different post, of course lower remuneration which I immediately declined becourse I was overqualified for it and humbly left their board room to go home to lick my wounds.

That is one of the ways the igbo man has afected my life; and I have many more such stories to tell.

ono,

well said!

ono,

In case you are referring to me, you need to go back and read how some guys are justifying these actions and saying becos of slavery, it is now pay back time etcetera, etcetera; and they are justified in doing fraud becos the government of Nigeria is bad and also fraudulent.

If things needs to be corrected, the person who is wrong first needs to be made to realise that he is wrong, that way the problem is 50% solved.

Hey everyone,

You know what? I just got an idea. If our igbo brothers want us to support them in their ideologies concerning this fraud issue, let us give them an assignment;

You guys should bring all your ingenuity together and hit Oprah's millions. I don't know what version of your yahoo yahoo or internet fraud you will use, but if you guys can defraud Oprah and make her fall and you get her money, then we we all hail you and this Igbo bashing will stop.

this one no be 'black maria', na 'white maria'.

Yangarat, thank you. You just said what I was about to say. It is unfortunate that Igbos should be denying this matter wey be say in their own hearts dem sef know say na dem!

And for Criskani2, haba? How you go begin write that thing wey you write?
You say other tribes commit frauds and when they are caught they clain to be Igbos? That is not true. Where I live, the people here know the Igbo man from the shape of his head to his strong accents, to his loud manner of talking even to his typical dressing style.

Are you now saying that one Mukaila Ajanlekoko from Onipanu in Lagos or Isiaka Adetunji from Oshogbo will now acquire apassport in the name of Chukwuemeka Okeke and travel abroad to commit fraud and when caught claim he is an Igbo man?

I tell you it is the opposite I have seen with my Koro koro eye. I was once on the queue the other day with a friend at the Home Affairs and this dude in front of me (Obviously without telling we knew He is an Igbo man) presented his Identity documents and Lo and behold his name was Adebayo Adetunji

Now my friend and I on the queue behind him of course knew he was lying but we minded our own business.

But do you know what now pissed us off?

When this 'Igbo-turned-Youruba' dude presented copies of his qualifications to the authourities, his (obviously forged) certificates states he graduated with a B.Sc Fine Arts!

Whhhhhaaaaat? My friend and I nearly slumped. How can you graduate in Bachelor of Science in Fine Arts. Do you know the most sickening part of it? When the guy was being queried about the authenticity of the certificates, he was still arguing loudly (typical of the igbos) and refused to admit his fallacy.

I can go on and on and on about different occassions such as this, Chriskani2. So please do not come onto this forum and write bullshit!!

Hey everyone,

E be like say una don miss am. Wetin we dey talk; wetin some people dey talk? Abeg, who no get better to contribute make e go siddon!

You people should know that when you contribute to a public forum like this, you don't just write rubbish and make assertions that you cannot substantiate. Some comments here are so out of context and of no value-add.

I guess you assume people contributing here are people of shallow minds like you.

What we are driving at here is to call a spade a spade for the overall benefit of Nigeria and Nigerians any where we find ourselves in the world. Who cares if you live in space and earn cosmic dust; do you think Oprah would come on air and hold a show without having investigated all her facts?

Is it until the whole country's image degenerates beyond repair before people understand that their future and that of their children is at stake?

Ogwumba,

If I may take your points one-by-one:

bodsi, for everyone of you who claim that the 419 menace is an igbo problem, there are millions of igbo who have never been involved in crime and will never be. :
I strongly and respectably agree with you. I have a number of Igbo friends here whom I admire and respect very much. Even my church choir is filled with Igbos. I am not and will not generalize that Igbos are bad people, God forbid. What I say is a simple empirical Statement which I am yet to be convinced otherwise.


Your generation (and i can guess at your youth from your utterances), more than any other, is responsible for a lot of the image problems Nigeria currently has.
The point is that to me age is just like numbers. At age 39 years, I have friends who are younger than me and yet are very responsible and in fact I consult them at times I need counsel; while at the same time I have friends who are much older than me (even at your age which I can also deduce from your comments) whom are totally irresponsible and no-goods. I have once been approached here in Jo'burg by a fifty-something yearold Nigerian, (not Igbo-I admit) who wanted me to assist him with confidential client's information in an organisation I work to enable him defraud the client. Of course I warned him to just stay clear of me or I would hand him over to the police.

My generation, (the pre-civil war gen of the Falana's, Umar's, Pedro's, Akunyili's, Okonjo-Iweala's, Utomi's) of course had some very corrupt people, but these were in the minority, and during my mid twenties and early thirties, Nigeria was still a country we could all be proud of.
Corruption in Nigeria and elsewher have been around for long even during this times you mention, but my own belief is that the awareness then wasn't as much as it is now. Nowadays everyone wants to get rich at whatever costs and that is part of what is killing us.

Just as an analogy and If I may also remind you, Fela Anikulapo sang about 2.8 billion Naira (1 billion dollars) oil money that was missing in 1979. Then Dollar was equal to N2.8. If that was stolen today, it would be 140 billion Naira. There was crime then too, remember Okotie-Eboh's story.


Cultism, financial crimes, 419, yahoo-yahoo, were virtually unknown when I was your age, and have grown, not because of the igbos, who you try so hard to malign, but as a result of the new 'get-rich-quick, ask-no-questions' mentality of your generation of Nigerians.

To shift the blame of this to one tribe, is despicable and shows that your generation has learnt nothing of the deep divisions ethnic bashing creates.
All the points you raised above are correct, but your not being aware of it at your own youth does not mean they never existed. Oh, they did. Maybe if you compare the population of Nigeria then and now, it will give an idea of the ratios of crime awareness now and as at then.


Unlike you, I will never descend to the level of casting aspersions on an entire race or people.

From my comments above you will definitely see that I am not and will never cast aspersions on an entire race. My reasoning is simply that, a particular tribe, the igbos in this case are notorious for some activities just like other tribes, yoruba's, hausas, chinese, arabs, pakistanis, russians are likewise notorious for their own activities.

The SA you live in is riddled with crime (armed robbery, muggings etc.) and I am certain you have also concluded this is carried out by igbos (who whatever you may think, are your Nigerian brothers).

I always said it and will not shy away from the fact that SA crimes are worse than Nigerian crimes. (Just help yourself and watch a film titled 'TOTSI' and you will see South African black lifestyle in the true reflection.

I used the term 'unintelligent' to describe your arguments on 'igbos planning to steal the resources of Lagos state' and if you have been called an 'igbo-hater' in the past, i wonder why
Finally, I do not expect you to comment on a topic I wrote about over six years ago without having the priviledge to read the entire piece. Like I said, it was a piece that I wrote during the clamour to have an Igbo Governor in Lagos State and I expressed my opinions based on the role the Igbos played during the June 12 anuulment of MKO's victory when we all saw how the Igbo men fled Lagos State to their own states without any concern for the war declared on Lagos State by the then Babangida/Abacha saga.

Finally, while I still stand by my earlier comments, I humbly state here that I have respect for people I interact with; and I deal with people based on how they deal with me. I do not generalize based on tribe, relegion, gender, age or any other factor.

Thank You

Bellview flys international,