₦airaland Forum

Isn't it funny how one nation consumes what is considered waste in other nations? Who even thinks of eating animal skin? It's disgusting.

Who even eats hippo meat? These people have no fear of dangerous rare diseases in these animals. They're even touching it barehanded.

Thankfully it's not a yam delivered by the governor.

He's bipolar. He can say anything, frankly.

xavuv:
You just have to be strong @ OP.

But why do people always say that DO NOT hate your father no matter what he has done. This is bullshit. I used to think i have a good father ( i later realized i was only naive to undertand the red flags, then i was young) until after my NYSC.

Now listen to this:

Just like the Origonal Poster, after i finished NYSC, my father collected copies of my CV, and made me to think that he's helping me towards getting employed, i didn't know he was pretending and wants me to grow old in his house. I thank God for the hustling spirit i have and a patient wife God gave me.

He went about visiting Alfas, Fulanis to check my star (this he mentioned to me himself) ... But why?, he's been wanting to halt my progress...

Truly, it was just after my NYSC POP that i started having this dream that someone stole my car, or my car tyres were stolen and replaced with bicycle tyres. I had these stupid dreams for 6yrs+, and on weekly basis.now i dont have that kind of dream anymore

All these attacks from my own father. What could i have done to warrant all these !, i did nothing.

He even mentioned to me face to face that at my age(last year, i was 33yrs) that i&my wife should still be living with him in his house and that we (wife and i) should still be collecting feeding money from him. Lol...i recorded all his utterances on my phone.

Slandering me&wife's image evrywhere. This and many more insults hurled at me and my wife and children.

My mind has been heavy for years. Maybe i will write something about this in the diary section someday.

Now with all these and many more, wont you hate your father?

I HATE HIM, AND I think about KILLING HIM WITH CUTLASS everyday (no exaggeration). He hurts my soul. I pray God will help me take revenge on him.

OP, be independent, move out from his house(it may not be easy but do something), stay away from him ooo, thank God you are not married yet so ask nothing from...and pray Hard!

Sorry, but the capitalized part is kind of funny. Must it be with a Cutlass? Lol. Kindly use success to drown him.

The people telling you not to hate an evil father are usually evil people themselves. Bet that when he is old he will one day call you and say he wants to make amends. And people will tell you to accept it and become his friend, to reward him for his evil. Well, you will know what to do to him then. I hope you won't open threads on pampering him like someone once did when that time comes. The you will become a father someday crew will come for you.

rain21:
such an irresponsible dad

@op,if I were you I would have left the house a long time ago. after your Nysc you shouldn't have bothered coming back home. you shouldn't have given him your CV, for what exactly? not just once, but multiple times. leave the house and go and hustle, same thing your sister should be doing. you shouldn't beg him to give you a better life that is what he must do__taking care of you and your sister not some random girls. and I hope those his babes will take care of him when he's old and sickly as he's taking care of them now.

All these ones that are talking trash here,shebi it was in the other thread that someone complained that his friend's wife refused to pay their kids school fees and other bills despite the fact that she was doing well, you all pounced on her and called her unprintable names but here they are now saying those bills are privileges just because the blame is on their fellow man...

You have the same sort of damaged men dropping comments here. They believe in having a wife who will give them children, while they seek pleasures outside. Their family is just to have children, they care nothing for them. They have no emotions for the family. No care. The family is just the paperwork to which when people ask, they say "I am married with children".

When the fun is over and they are lonely, ugly, old and useless to the young blooded ones they normally pursue, they will begin to try and befriend the children they never wanted.

When these children find out they have been cheated of a true father, the men will begin to say the woman brainwashed the children and that they would be given a chance. Medicine after death.

verifiablefacts:
clearly a spoilt brat ,brain washed by his mother.
If you like insult me also.

Explain the bold part to us.

ebuka10box:
my brother I'm a house agent and I guess u know how hectic the work sounds. No one can tell me I'm lazy cuz I work hard..my brother if u had someone to make ur life easier and smoother I bet u won't be selling shoes. It's good u are also hardworking but do u think persons that induldge in evil acts love it or enjoy it if they had someone to guide them . There is nothing like man up right now in Nigeria cos u definitely need connections and God. U don't need to submit my cv to my my life better, there are other ways to make someone's life better. Y do u sound like an old generation father. Go and ask footballers or sportsmen why they enroll their kids into academies

You can say that again. They like acting as if they're so tough. But if they had equal opportunities with you, they would not be suffering as they claim to have.
Your father is typical of most men nowadays. They want to have a wife to give them children, but they are not in the marriage. If you pass through nairaland you can see many young men buying into that lie. When they want to die alone they will begin to look for how to apologise and befriend the children because they believe that the child will always look for its father, so they can do whatever they want to. It's a false way to live as a man. Such quoted you above.

manneger2:
U should start by editing urs too, leave the girl alone

Edit yours.

If you understood what she posted, you would provide solutions, but instead you're just making noise here. Look at yourself.

ayoadeifee:
Am so sorry for my grammatical blunders, am not just myself right and like I have said earlier my heart is bleeding

Just edit it. Because we can't really understand it.

Calm yourself down, and your mother, too, so that her blood pressure goes down to normal levels. You should be comforting her, don't let yourself get so hysterical, otherwise you will get her worked up. It may not be as bad as you think. As someone earlier suggested, you may petition relevant bodies.

ibksplen:
Sebi you have a mother and will become one some day ? A fellow pour his mind out about his mum's health and predicament and this is your best ?? Yours is coming and it will come swiftly to your house hold. It might be in other way

It's not a wo man. You are quoting a man who changes to female every now and then to say stupid things.

DrTee1:
Something is really wrong somewhere.

Aside that this story is from one perspective, another huge concern is the grammar: Lexis, structure, tenses, construction.

Mum is the best teacher you know. She is a primary school teacher. That suggests she teaches at the elementary level where one of the core subjects is English language.

I'm afraid you may just have 'fallen hand' very badly - in the Nigerian lingua - and you not covered so much in glory, at least to buttress your best teacher assertion.

As to the matter at hand, there are established ways in the civil service to resolve disputes: Teaching Service Commission, Civil Service Commission, and at the extreme, the National Industrial Court.

However, excuses like distance of assignment from residence shouldn't arise, really. It isn't a excuse to be officially considered at all in that line of responsibility. If anything at all, it should be lobbied for, under the table, and not presented as a major issue.

Best wishes.

Is the something the write up? Because it's so confusing. What is it about? The teacher in Borno state?

Romanoff:
Women should be more woke than this na. It is bad that you're committing fornication, to now allow your accomplice take pictures or videos of you in that state is folly.

And they will both claim to be practicing Muslims and belong to all the societies to prove it. Why should a Muslim have a boyfriend/girlfriend if they follow their religion truthfully?

katyamizotta:
I dont think the average Caucasian male will agree with this nature

The scum ones do.

Do big brother participants count as stars nowadays?
They look rather plain and boring outside of their house. Met one acting quite calm and unimportant (nobody running after them for autographs). I almost did not think was who it actually was.

safarigirl:
who told you she is a feminist?


You lot are so ignorant, you randomly throw the term 'feminist' at every working woman. Not every woman is a feminist, there are even male feminists. Educate yourself.

Seems "feminist" is the new word thrown around by men who have bitterly discovered that they can't eat their cake and have it anymore.

Winneygirl:
Now I can see where your biggest challenge in marriage will be .
Money, money, money.
You told us how much she earns.
How much do you earn?

His eyes are on her pockets. He's one of the new "wise" red pilled men.

Ishilove:
In this 21st century?

You need deliverance

Lol!

Forced17:
what are you saying
we've never seen each other's unclothedness before
you think everyone is corrupt or spoilt �

If you are not corrupt, what need did you have for being with a 14 year old girl? Why don't you build your friendship with your family and others? Must you be in a relationship? TV series have made kids think life is about getting a boy/girlfriend before they turn 16.

Did you know that relationships are for adults? Yes, adults. Not people who know nothing about their full emotions and want to do what they want but still cry for their parents when things go sour.

You have no right to stop what her parents want. You are just a boyfriend. And if you think anyone here believes you've not had any sexual encounter with her, then you must think everyone here is 14 years old.

TheArchangel:
Do you also marry your wife and her family
Seem Africans are confused, indecisive and hypocritical in everything. One minute, you are quoting the religious books, next minutes you realised you are Africans
We are two-faced in everything, we practice leaving our father and mother to cleave to our spouse tag, and at the same time practices marry your spouse and their families. So evident that we are confused hypocrites.

It's because they have the burden of two marriages, the real one then the "traditional" one. So they are confused on which to practice.

Chommieblaq:
It’s not poor people problem na troublesome people issues, I have seen rich people act that way too, though the rich do more of bullying.

I came from humble home, lost my Dad at a very young age, I know how much we struggled together growing up, many sacrifices etc. Does that automatically means I will leave my job, pack my bags and start staying with my sisters and their family because we suffered together?
First of all, nobody owe me or anyone shit, these entitlement character breeds other forms of things.

How do people even feel comfortable staying in someone’s house? An adult staying with another adult? I can’t get my head around it.

My mama no go leave her business come your house, even to do Omugwo for the complete duration is an uphill tasks, none of my sis will leave their job/business and family to come stay with you, neither will my brother leave his job and ego to come stay with you.
I have been begging my sis, to visit me since 2 years now, I never see her brake light.

I don’t have any problem with my husband family coming over, (visiting o) Aged parent coming to stay for medical reason and care is fine, but there should be boundaries and mutual respect, I’m in no competition with his family and if you are going to choose your family over me, forgetting that I left my own family, so we can form ours, abeg no marry me o, I won’t be a second class citizen in my matrimonial home

Like Pcguru1 said, I’m fortunate enough to come from a family where everyone minds their business and respect boundaries!

Thank you. Some people who received a little change overnight think it's about money and that people are out to get them. Poverty thinking.

This is all about understanding. Marriage isn't a war. You vs the inlaws.

Ryan03:
maybe you didn't understood the op's post. He meant staying on a permanent basis till maybe the sister gets married or the brother gets a job and could move out. The parents can stay forever

I still don't see an issue if they live together forever. In some cultures that is allowed and the way marriages are conducted. The person I quoted believes it's only poor people who live together. Wrong thinking. You don't own the person. Things like "leave my husband for me" are pointless talks because the man did not drop from Mars. He knew those people all his life. He got married to you, he doesn't have to shut them out of his life because of you.

pocohantas:
Oga na poor people problem be this. Every time such topics come up, what is the leading issue? FOOD!

Did MamaP leave Aso Rock to go stay with that her daughter. Abegi! Poor people too dey disturb. Rich people stay in their houses. If they are looking for vacation spots, they travel out. Na the poor relatives dey find way to come to their own house.

Na why I no wan marry poor man from a poor family. Once inlaws are unengaged, they will start looking for their employed brothers house to go! If I check my husband's pocket, I will check all his siblings own. The more comfortable they are, the more peace I have. They will face their homes and leave my husband for me!

I don't know about poor people and food. Visiting people isn't a bad thing just because they got married.
Some siblings are very close, some parents very close to that extent. Some do not mind a sleepover for days. I have seen people who visit even when married, that is what the guest house attached to the main house is for.
Once they are not a drain, they are not an issue. I don't think it is in any spouses place to disrupt that special bond between family and create some needless boundaries just because they think marriage means alienation and jealousy. A spouse cannot replace other platonic relationships, so what is the war. It's only people who have been lashed by poverty who think the world is after what they think they have. They are always the hateful in marriage

worworbabe:
The reason men don't have a problem is the woman's family always respect their daughter's husband. They treat him with respect and all join hands in caring for his needs.

But what do the men's relatives do to the woman? Complain about everything she does, disrespect her, compete unnecessarily with her and create issues for her where there is none.

Possibly.

GraGra247:
Did you even read the entire story? The young man gets his portion of food like everybody else in the house but yet chooses the appalling nasty habit of yet going to dip hands in the pot.

Even the man that owns the house doesn't do this.

My friend its madness and utter disrespect no matter how you look at it. It is not allowed anywhere in decent African culture.

Only rogues and hooligans allow such among themselves and even at that, it comes at a heavy price.

But anyway I know there are people that will even excuse the devil even if the devil fully agrees he's wrong.

it's African culture. But the culture doesn't make sense. How can people actions be dictated by such culture on eating food that's right in front of you? What if they are from a culture that permits that? And see this no pot culture as indecent?

pocohantas:
This is not about mine, you think my dad and mum will leave the comfort of their home to come squeeze inside one apartment. Time they will use to enjoy their retirement, they rather go stay with a new couple? Godforbid! My parents are not hungry or looking for where to attach.

Who is talking about the comfort/discomfort and "squeezing"? If people want to squeeze then they should consider upgrading their lives. Nothing wrong in a visit. People do that all the time. Some people have close relationships where they wouldn't mind spending a night or two with family. It isn't always about leeching and hunger. Not everyone grew up sharing rooms and hungry and so their family members don't have to "squeeze". Poor people tend to hate in-laws. Poverty breeds needless hatred.

Mariangeles:
These things are easy to accept once you open up your heart.
It's also about respecting boundaries.

People tend to see it as a competition.
He's bringing his, I will bring mine. She's bringing here's, I will bring mine.
It's all about understanding that the person you married didn't drop from Mars or Venus, but from an actual family, and that family is dear to them. If their family want to visit, let them. If they live with you due to college, live with it. One day they will move out. Family is about helping each other. I don't know why people think they live as an island just because they're married. They'll still share their spouse with the cheats out there.

pocohantas:
More reason we would live with all of them in one house ehn. They can bring their gfs and their bfs over. Maybe in our three bedroom flat sef. So lovely.

If yours are comfy, his are comfy, too. No big deal in that. Sounds lovely. Not like they will live there forever. Probably a week or three a year

pocohantas:
Very true. That is why my own will come too. I guess his own family do not drain the family expenses. We will all live together.

If yours aren't a drain, then his will not be a drain. Everyone can live peacefully though married. Everyone's family matters.

pocohantas:
I agree with you OP.

You don't want to know how much I love my dad and only brother. These are the two men that have supported me every step of the way. I can't imagine one FOOLISH husband saying they shouldn't visit or stay in our house.

It is my father first, mother and siblings, my kid, before my husband.

You can always get another husband, but never another family.

A father is the only man that will spend on you without asking for submission or anything.

For that reason, he can come live with us. All my siblings can come, alongside my husband's own.

One big happy family.

It's usually women who have hatred for in-laws. Most men don't really care provided they are not a drain on family finances.
Women: what do they want? They scooped my food. They sweated in the wrong place.
Man: how much will this cost?