₦airaland Forum

cococandy:

FriedPlantain:
What sort of indicting statement is this?

I'm not your freak neither are you mine. I demand you take those words back now before I change my mind!

Acidosis:
Just mark registefavor. move on.


An innocent man will pick her up later till death do them apart. That's the trend across board.

damilareoye:
we hold same thought right?

byvan03:
I nearly dialled your digits but remembered that you are contesting in the bikini show for next season. I won't want you to ruin those abs .

Am good dear, mind if I send the boys to you for holiday? Say "no, I don't mind " please .

babygirlfl:
Hehehe

Bollinger:
Ever wondered how mama sikira's stew on the rice you always buy in the mornings is always so unique and delicious? Why is it that every morriinng you always wanna package one on the go to the office? Abi, is she adding suntin other than condiments into the mix? Never fear, i am going to share the secret, step by step with you today. You'll thank me later. What you need; habanero pepper, one or two green pepper, those long thing red pepper, (i forget what the are called) tomatoes, iru, onions, crayfish, orisirisi meat, palm oil and eggs which are optional. Blend the pepper and tomatoes and then cook it till all the water is drained. If the mixture is right, you'll get a somewhat brownish red look. Boil the meat with as little water as possible till soft. lastly, boil the eggs. When everything is ready, add palm oil into a pot and immediately add diced onions into it. Then add the orisirisi mix into it. Once it is properly fried remove it and immediately add the cooked tomato and pepper, iru, as well as the eggs into the pot which you fried the meat in. After two minutes add the meat and let it cook at medium heat till you see the oil rising to the top. This is when you add your maggi, crayfish and whatever condiments you like. I forgot to add that it is important to roast the long thing red pepper in a skillet or frying pan before blending. It is also important to let the stew burn slightly. It gives it a roasty aroma and taste.

you are welcome.

Omaresh:
All made by me

byvan03:
Gizzard ngwongwo...

Mindfulness:
The core issue is people's mentality and the examples in the OP are just a few of this mentality's manifestations.

5minsmadness:
I must say this is a creative one. A father advising his daughter on accepting a polygamous relationship

Seriously though any time I hear or read of a Muslim relationship turning polygamous I am forced to wonder "what was the woman expecting before " You marry a man whose religion encourages and endorses polygamy and you really think you'll be the only one for the rest of your lives? Lol.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, av seen some monogamous Muslim relationships but let's face it: the reason most men don't go into polygamy is because of either religion or in deference to/consideration of thier wife. If not a man that can afford polygamy will happily go into it. Even some wretched men who can't handle a second wife still venture into it with thier eyes fully opened to the detriment of thier family; talk less of a well-to-do responsible man who can easily cater for more than one woman.


I will always remember a case where one 'Alhaji' in his 50s started getting the hots for a young single Christian lady in her 30s. No suitor was coming for her and the Alhaji loved her to bits. However he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by marrying a second wife. They had been a happily married couple for close to 18yrs. Religion /tradition was in full support of him taking a second wife by now but he had been refraining cos of his wife.

So instead he started seeing this girl in secret. Rented a house for her. Bought a car for her. Started keeping late nights. This "Christian" lady knew he was married oh but still welcomed him. Who no want companionship?

Eventually, as it usually happens with such things, the wife found out. She monitored the woman for a while then one day came visiting soon after her husband left the Christian woman's place. The Christian woman was caught like a rat in a trap. She couldn't deny that the man just left her place. Funny enough this Alhaja calmed her down and gave her an offer.
Instead of running around like mice, why not marry her husband? She didn't mind and felt it was rather embarrassing for an 'old man' like her husband to be running around like a teenager.

Christian woman agreed after a few weeks.

Was Alhaja hurt? Maybe. No one knows what would be going on in her head. But she told any who cared to know that it was better that way and that the man had tried for her. She seemed genuinely pleased in the christian woman and her simple ways. She supported the marriage throughout.


And they are all still together after five years. The second wife calls the first "mummy" and the first sees her as a younger sister. They wear matching outfits whenever they go on outings and you hardly see both of them apart.

For those who can handle polygamy properly it can be a very happy union. For those who can't it can be a pain. But then even people in monogamous marriages have serious issues.

damilareoye:
take it, is either we go together or non of us go

remember we have been joined. .


nothing can stop my show mheen

k4kenny:
Walahi I only opened this topic to read the comments and see my gals bash the op.

I wasn't disappointed


Some clown up there even added winches in tue village to the list hehehehehe

PuciPrince:
Everything is wrong with it. Everything

majekdom2:
to be seen as being in the relationship to improve/add to the other party's qualities...... not seen as having the same right/ opportunities or in a competition with the other party.

PuciPrince:
Good, those are basics. But where do we draw the line between to know when these basics become luxurious. I know of women who want to attend ceremonies and would buy aso-ebi of 50k like 3times in 2months and require their husbands to provide this. Will this be termed basics?

As for feeding, why will anyone marry a man who cant provide her food.

Shelter, you want to live in lekki while your husband can only afford houses in iyana ipaja.

On a monthly basis, if he agrees to give you 30k to take care of your basic needs (shelter and feeding exclusive - he provides that) and sets up a little business for you, is that enough so you can take your full responsibilities as a wife and mother?





BTW, who is a flirt

PuciPrince:
For the sake of feminism, my ex expects us to do the dishes together when we get married.

Like seriously?

raayah:
American feminism is radical. They have gone over-board and I don't even call myself a feminist anymore in North america because I cannot associate myself with such evil.
However Nigeria feminism is a whole different ball game

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I stated in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought for equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something that was right, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide missions, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that trended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

Kay17:
To be sincere, feminists admire and love men. They want to be like men, they love the masculine swagger, their independence, freedom and their lack of guilt, hence the "equality demand".

Equal to them, means look like men.

But men don't want to be women even for just one day. washing dishes for life, can be horrible.

majekdom2:
Nothing more than FEMINISIM.......couples are meant to complement each other not seen as equals.

Tallesty1:
So your point in essence is that we should not right about what breaks the other because it makes one strong?


Sha, I am yet to see where domestic violence, cheating and slavery make a family strong.

EfemenaXY:
Which ones?

The ones that fall foul of their "pastor's" snares? Because they think the sun shines from his backside? Or the ones who choose to remain, despite the risks to their lives?

tearoses:
Depends on what is the starting salary that is being tripled
3 times 40K is 120K
3 times 150 is 450K
Remember that you have to run 2 homes which in its own can be expensive
2 lots of rent, Nepa bills, transport cost etc
You also have to factor in transport costs to visit each other

Then on top of all of that you have to think about the stresses of living apart
I personally dont like couples living apart
Some of the benefits and expectations of marriage is companionship, affection, touch, lovemaking, bonding etc
LDR make this difficult.

EfemenaXY:
Not everyone who claims to be a "pastor" is a pastor. You also get all sorts of desperate crooks claiming to be what they aren't. Anyway, that's a story for another day. In the meantime, I get the point of your message. There are countless examples.

I think for there to be any radical changes, it should start from the homefront. i.e the grassroots. Parents should strive to live by example. There are certain things kids should be privy to - especially when the parents have disagreements and are airing them out (hotly). Secondly, parents should teach their kids / wards (both sexes), that abuse is an absolute no-no. Kids should be taught that abuse should never be meted out to anyone and it certainly shouldn't be "endured" for the sake of keeping up appearances.



Society.

neocortex:
It is quite absurd that you expect feminist to be fighting for mens equality
when it is clear to everyone why feminism arose in the first place.

No one need to be "brainwashed" before they know what is evil or good.
The neighbour who had to rush a fainted wife(as a result of spousal beating)
to the hospital don't need to be "brainwashed" before he/she knows the
how much suffering the woman is subjected to.
The children don't need to be "brainwashed" before they know the suffering
their mother went through in the hands of the "Mike Tyson" father.

Even some families still engage in gender bias in sponsoring their children's education.
So , no one was deceived into supporting feminism as you made it sound.

What I do know is that opposing an idea is the most ineffective means
of quelling its influence. It will be more appropriate if you start up a
counter movement such as "Masculinism" to seek equality for men
rather than denouncing feminism because you will only succeed in
making it more ideal to those who haven't already subscribed to it
while the hardcore ones will adopt more extreme positions.

If we take a cursory look at the achievements recorded through
feminism such as universal sufferage and education, we will see
that feminism isn't evil as it is being portrayed regardless of what
"militant feminists" say or believe.

Martiano:
and some useless men will pay OLOSHOS 20k a night without thinking how much that 20k can help a family in need.

otokx:
Choice is a part of life, if you see many of the "poor" they just be giving birth to many children with no plan for their lives.

I am for 1 child policy in Nigeria.