₦airaland Forum

MarvellousGod:
Good for y'all.. what you wish comes to you. ..

For me, I have always desired a successful career and a wonderful family of my own. Not for the society but for my own fulfillment..

I remember before my marriage when I was telling my mum how I was going to miss her and how I wished I could stay longer. She said No, I needed to build my own family too that I was enjoying the family built by she and my dad.....

You can say the right man/woman hasn't come along instead of saying marriage doesn't matter to you et al... Through marriage you were conceived and through marriage we can be able to answer God's call which is "Go into the world and multiply"...
Your wish, your life though!

However, I don't agree with the saying that women are nothing without men because I know I had my own voice before marriage and made some achievements too.....
Also, I don't like the way some people go about it, as if marriage should matter to women alone.. For eg, that your male friend

Bottomline: I think marriage should matter to both men and women because you can't keep enjoying what your parents built without attempting to build yours......

While I agree that some men/women say marriage doesn't matter to them because they have not found the right people, some people are not interested in marriage because they are not interested.

Nice post

mutter:
Tick tick tick tock!!!!


Do you hear that sound? The biological clock is ticking.
So wake up fast.
Of what use is money and fame if you can't share it with husband and children.
The greatest joy of being a woman is that after being the boss outside and making an impact you come home to your husband and kid's
A husband and children are the most valuable treasures.

Without a husband you are buying the foot mat without having a house Same advice for the men.

Would you say Mother Teresa was not fulfilled?
What about Apostle Paul (in the Bible)?

babygirlfl:
I have said it many times that when people tell the couple to pray, endure and all that. They are only telling the woman and not the man. In Nigerian when they say marriage is sacrifice, compromise, tolerating each other, they actually mean women should sacrifice, compromise and tolerate the mans excesses. Simple turning their logic around works wonders. Thanks cococandy for the tip.

Welcome to the Nigerian Bible my sister.

Hmmmmmm

All hail the Good wife

Don't worry, your reward is waiting for you in the 'Good wives' Heaven'

Next

dinachi:
Have a nice day and remember to submit to your handsome husband today. It attracts divine blessings!

Hahahahhahahabbaha

Of course, you cannot answer because it would expose your hypocrisy and blow all your posts out of water.

Fortunately, I am not just finding that out today

Of course, I submit to my handsome husband who loves me so much and yes our home is blest.

And tell your Oyedepo (if he said so) to teach from the Bible and not his village Proverbs. If a woman is not submissive, it is duty of her Christian husband to love her and pray for her Till she changes.

Hypocrite Dinachi aka HD

Now thank me for the new name and have a nice day too.

dinachi:
It is settled then.

What is settled?

Answer me.... should .a man love his wife irrespective of What she does?

I dare you to answer me or your Bible knowledge no reach that one?

I am waiting

Cc: cococandy

EggovinMma:
Marriage is now dying abi? Because women are now cheating like the men.The marriage never died when men were taking women for granted, now marriage is dead because they have decided to play same game as well?

Hahahagahahaha!

Marriage is dying my left nyash!

They better buy a coffin for it

uchedike:
Nawao! Social media is taking us away from African values and culture.

Which African culture?

Or did anyone tell you that adultery is Oyibo 's culture?

pcguru1:
Seriously the amount of cheating men and women just too much. Aside from nairaland its something ave noticed even amongst friends that I'm always ashamed of them. I often tell them why get married, if you're going be unfaithful. Maybe am old school sha. I assumed sleeping around is a no-no

I agree

Some people see marriage as a status. Our society doesn't help either

cococandy:


I love the reaction of the guys here.

A swear!

Suddenly bringing up children in a single home is no longer bad abi. If they divorce their cheating wives, wouldn't the home be broken?

Awon hypocrites

freecocoa:
Hmmm

Seems women are now tired of praying and wearing red pant/bra.

The matter don tie wrapper.

The men can pick it up

dinachi:
So you are a better role model than Bishop Oyedepo who has been married to his wife for more than thirty years? This is exactly what is called foolish pride!
Apart from commenting on Nairaland what else have been your contribution to humanity. Bishop Oyedepo ministries spans several countries with outstanding miracles. Some of you women challenging the Bible have serious mental issues.
The other one freecocoa made a blasphemous statement that she is smarter than God and I just realized that she was a reprobated woman who has lost her way.
Only a perishing soul challenges the authority of the Bible. And some of you even has the audacity to denigrate Men of God. Bishop Oyedepo left his wife in a car with a mad person and endangered her life by your calculation because all you see is your carnal mind is that she is endangered. But she sees herself protected by God. Every feminist challenges the Bible because God clearly made the man the head of the home but the spirit of rebellion and pride will block the eyes of those that perish from see it.

Just answer Cococandy's question.

We agree a woman should submit irrespective of whatever the husband does...

Now I ask: should a Christian man love his wife irrespective of What she does?

A yes or no will do.

Sagamite:
I have always said repeatedly on NL that this was the case.

All these yeye claim of "happily married", "the only jam in my donut" etc is a pure scam.

Marriage is an institution of "Settling", "Compromise" and "Endurance" in virtually all cases.

All these stewpid claim of love pisses me off as I can see through it.

As for the friend's claim that she is "happy", BS!

She is "content". She has settled for him, will compromise to be in a marriage with him and will endure the marriage.

Just like a vast majority of married men and women.

There is a minority of married people who are 'truly' happily married

Don't tell me you are just going through the thread now

eherbal:
my request is valid. Yours is unheard of. Come onboard dear. husband no2will never cross ur mind. Just become my second wife like play like play

Second husband unheard of ke?

You need to wake up sharp sharp and move from herbal to modern medicine

Toslayem:
this same question came up few weeks ago at a seminar on HIV counseling and testing, and the conclusion was just that the woman may not really have it in mind to cheat on the husband but want him to feel the same pain of always taking the condom whenever he is travelling. Despite the fact that wives are encouraged to help their husband with the so condom to prevent the spread of the virus and other related STI, it takes the grace of God for each wife to be able to withstand such and do as if everything is normal. God will help us all.

I believe this is also a joke in line with the spirit of the thread

Nigerian 'God' na wa

Chillis:

You and your submission threads and argument, your Hand no dey pain you ni?

Whatever makes one happy,do it.
If you like debate from now until 2050, people will do what thy feel is right for them. As long as they are happy, they can continue. If they so much think they deserve more they know what to do.

@Bold, lol!

Sorry for the late response

I agree with you.. the thread was just to explain what it means because I saw some did not understand.

quivah:
I can be a very good friend... but I don't ever wanna go down that lane of passing through many fake female friends again before meeting someone like myself. these few ones I only associate with academically(I wouldn't dare call them my friends) even buttress my fear for f-f friendships.

they be hailing themselves to their faces but won't hesitate to back bite to anyone who cares to listen..
the gossips and back bites and pretense are just what I hate with the female- female friendship.

quarrel with a female friend and she will use All those secrets( you think would be save with her)you shared with her as a punch back at you..

gosh those people

imagine you not having a thing for female friends and one lady thinks you are sick... who wanna be friends with such fvck up.. those people!

And men do not have these qualities?

What made you think you are the 'perfect' female friend?

Does it occur to you that there are some of your female 'friends' also saying Quivah is not a good female friend?

Have you ever asked any of these women feedback about yourself?

See now, your reading partners thinks you are a good 'friend' while you see them as reading partners.

eherbal:
would you like to be wife no2? Never a dull mo with me. Ask wife no 1

If you will mind becoming husband no 2

Chidoks:
I don't support cheating in marriage o but the truth is that most men chane after marriage especially after two or three children.yes i know that there are bills to be paid, higher goals, aspirations and all but if a man there is no harm in planning fun / romantic moments every once in a while .men can be so engrossed in work and most times when they want to unwind, they prefer their fellow guys or one random runs girl.it's annoying that your husband cannot take you out on a date but hangs out every other evening yet he claims to be very busy.
you wooed her with flowers, she loves flowerz that was why she followed you.now that you got her you suddenly stop sending flowers check am baw.t
that does not mean that cheating is right o but nen should learn to balance the equation there is nothing as wonderful as holding hands in the public with your husband, steal kisses and flirt with him in the public.it is stimulating as well as healing

@bold,

On point.

The OP is very nice...

It is even ironic how it opened his eyes to the deflects in his own marriage and the guy is a G!

When I read a mistress is a side chic to a husband and he will always come back to his wife/family, I laugh in Japanese. The side chic gets the best of the husband every single time without having to invest much.

@A husband works hard to provide... can we all stop the bullocks please?

I say it everyday; except the man works on his own, I have NOT seen any paid employment that divides responsibilities across gender lines. What is expected of a female accountant is also expected of the male accountant etc. The female accountant is excepted to go home and care for the home... the male accountant gives the stupid excuse that he is 'working' that's why he can't make out time for his family... rich.

I am sure no man will find the excuse funny that his wife cannot 'cook' etc. because she is 'busy' or she cannot attend to him because she is nursing their baby

Wives can also take home the fact that they do not need to stop flirting and those games because they are involved in cleaning/working/nursing the kids.

The myth that when wives/women cheat emotions are involved bla bla is blown out of the water Most of them obviously had their minds still in the marriage even if the heart is gone

AND yes, I will never support adultery for any reason.

Once again, good one at the OP.

Perhaps a woman can find out why men cheat doing something similar.

dinachi:
You only find joy when people attack the Bible! That explains who you are and no the Bible declared all free in Christ in Gal 3:28 and Col 3:11.

I am happy when people who quote a part of the Bible to suit their claims are attacked

If Gal 3:28 says there is no slave, free, male, female etc. why are you against slavery and believe women are inferior to men?

I am not interested in feminism/equality talk so no need to go there..

I am just pointing something out.

The Bible can be used to proof anything if you are careful & sly enough.

Even Paul told Onesimus to go back to Philemon as a slave so what wrong will the white man do to enslave blacks as far as they are treated well?

The same Bible which says wives submit to your husbands said Slaves obey your masters (Both are new testament).

If we decide to abolish slavery, why can't we abolish submission?

esosa993:
He really didn't say what the bishop said but I believed him since that is coming from a "guy" you dig,coz he was the only guy in that blog that opposed to the news,if it were a lady that said the bishop didn't say so I might not have believed her but since its coming from a guy then I blv him

It is ok

esosa993:
Uhm....I read the news in another blog and a member of winners chapel said he was in that programme and their bishop never said it that way. The guy said their bishop would never say things like that

It is possible either way though

A naughty reporter can decide to put words in the Bishop's mouth

Can the member say what the Bishop said?

dinachi:
You missed it entirely! The Bible declared all free in Gal 3:28 and Col 3:11. Read with understanding!

Hahhahahahahahahahaha!

I wonder why the whites fought against slavery... there is no Bible verse condemning it

AngryNigerian:
Girlz 4 ds platform b like "how i wsh...", & most of dem can't tolerate a tenth of wat she has tolerated!

What has she tolerated?

Bishop I agree with you

You should ensure you train the husbands to love their wives unconditionally and pray for them till they learn they are 'unequal' with their husbands.

Afterall, God will judge each of us individually. Not loving your wife because she is not submissive will not fly in heaven.

Now go to work and build up your men fellowship.

Pastor Adeboye your mentor has already done that

okangisaiah:
A friend of mine told me this:

She met her husband in 2008 both working and schooling. They decided to marry, money did not come as expected so they opted for traditional and court marriage(some siblings of hussy did not welcome her). She earlier complained of the environment her husband was living which is waterside in ph, her husband said he is only living there to school after graduation he will rent a new accommodation and marriage blessing will be done after wife's graduation when she is ready to join him( she was schooling in a different state).

Fast forward to 2015 after 5years of graduation with 2 kids hussy said he will not do wedding or rent house again that he wants to still in the waterside, buy a land and build his own house before packing.

There has been series of problem threatening the survival of the marriage as wife insist the marriage blessing must be done as promised and a new accommodation. That she can't share toilet with over 50 people which has been causing her series of toilet infection.


Mature and serious advise needed please

The husband promised two things:

1.Marriage Blessing
2.Change of Apartment

And after 5ys has fulfilled neither....

Hmmmm...

Apart from the failed promises, How is their married life generally? Do they have other issues?

If no, then
1. They should move to a more suitable place. That is very pressing and important.

2. The wife should forget marriage Blessing for Now. She is legally married before God and man. She can wait till their 10yr wedding anniversary and do an elaborate anniversary

3. The husband does not communicate. How did renting another apartment change to saving up to build a house without everybody being on the same page?

4. The wife should realize priorities & situations has changed. Five years and two kids later is a long time.


If they have issues, then they need to drill down to What they are.

Funny thread

I would advice the OP's wife to be watchful

Her husband might have just passed a coded message

jinggles:
Bukatyne thanks for your response. He doesn't have the papers yet. But I want to file for him when u get there.

Is it foolproof that when you get there, you can file for your husband? If yes, What is the timeline?

Is there a job/source of income waiting for your husband as you intend to study? If no, do you have enough savings to sustain you till you find your feet?

Is your admission and papers sure?

What do you want to build a career in?

What does your husband currently do? General response is OK.

jinggles:
Dear Nairalanders,
I need your opinion on this. My name is Ada and work in a bank. I'm having issues trying to decide whether to relocate to America or not. Let me paint the scenario for you. My current grade is ETOP but I have the opportunity to study nursing in America and yes I have a background in science . I'm married I have no kids yet but I'm expecting. I need your help on deciding whether to take this opportunity or
not.

Are you relocating with your husband?

quivah:
me as a lady, I won't pretend to see the truth in the op.... where two or more women are gathered,they are talking ill about another woman's matter(progress or downfall)..,at least 90% of their discussions.

be a friend with a woman,,is like dancing with the devil in a broad day light.

Do you believe you can be a good friend seeing you are a woman yourself?

Now I think this our delectable actress is a joker